Self Esteem

[IcePrincessKRS]

Yeah, Cmom said it the way I would have if I were more eloquent. lol

[Aloysius]

make sure you don't mistake humility for low-self-esteem

because self-esteem can sometimes really mean PRIDE which is a deadly sin. don't esteem yourself too much, acknowledge your unworthiness and your faults and your fallen nature et cetera

[ReinnieR]

^^that's a hard one

it's pretty hard not to confuse them

it's hard to get it just right

one thinks he/she has a hig self esteem but could be pride witout knowing it and the other way around

[kaidoh]

ooo sorry dude idk

[Tony]

I once had someone tell me Self a steem was bad.. because it led to pride. and pride was a sin.. took you away from God.. .. etc.

[Dudette]

hmm....thanks everyone, especially Cmom. I get it.

[philothea]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jul 9 2005, 12:13 PM']Self esteem comes from knowing you did a good job and are proud of it. Lack of self-esteem comes from comparing your results to others.

Comparing is always a waste of time because there is a always someone better than you - which can make you feel bad, or someone apparently worse off which leads to false sense of superiority.

You self esteem is directly related to the effort you put into something and the feeling you have about the results.
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These are a little too blanket, IMO. You can improve self esteem by knowing you did a good job, and you can reduce your self esteem by comparing yourself unfavorably with others, but these aren't really the [i]cause[/i].

A lot of flawed self esteem (both too low or too high) comes from what a person heard when they were growing up, and what they hear from people and their environment every day. People are exposed unknowingly to a huge amount of negativity, especially through TV and advertising.

[theculturewarrior]

My self esteem has suffered in the past, in part due to mental illness. I feel pretty good about myself, so I guess I have a good self esteem, but I want to see myself as God sees me, a sinner, and His child. I feel good about being His child, not so good about being a sinner. It's a mixed bag.

[Norseman82]

I don't really use the term "self-esteem". I feel, though, that low self-confidence can be a bad thing, as can an "inferiority complex".

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Jul 9 2005, 08:29 PM']My self esteem has suffered in the past, in part due to mental illness. I feel pretty good about myself, so I guess I have a good self esteem, but I want to see myself as God sees me, a sinner, and His child. I feel good about being His child, not so good about being a sinner. It's a mixed bag.
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Thats how its supposed to be

[Kaeldra]

low self esteem in itself isn't really bad, though its definitely not good, its what it causes. really low self esteem can cause depression and etc...which often causes people to self injure and stuff. I'm talking about severely low self esteem though....maybe you mean like just typical low self esteem

[philothea]

[quote name='Kaeldra' date='Jul 11 2005, 05:09 PM']low self esteem in itself isn't really bad, though its definitely not good, its what it causes.  really low self esteem can cause depression and etc...which often causes people to self injure and stuff.  I'm talking about severely low self esteem though....maybe you mean like just typical low self esteem
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Yep!

When someone gets to the point where they won't, or can't, take care of themselves normally (eating, drinking, sleeping, bathing, working, socializing, etc.) because they don't feel like they deserve to be well or happy, that's when the self-esteem is way too low.

Self-injuring and possibly suicide are often the next steps.

Just a general feeling of "I smell of elderberries" isn't so much a problem, even if it isn't much fun.

[photosynthesis]

when you have low self esteem, you may think:

- i am inferior
- i am worthless
- i unlovable
- no one loves me
- God doesn't love me
- my life isn't worth living

to me, the stuff y'all are talking about is just having a healthy attitude towards yourself. We're all sinners. We don't deserve God's favor because of our sinfulness. But God does in fact love us, and he is in fact merciful. To despair of God's mercy is the ultimate sin, and low self-esteem is terrible to experience because it leads to that despair, as well as depression.

the Devil preys on people with low self-esteem. Why do women sell themselves in prostitution? Why do people turn to drugs and alcohol? Why do people compromise their dignity? I'm not saying it's always low self-esteem, but it certainly can play a big role in why people make these decisions. Seeing yourself the way God sees you (i.e. as an adopted son/daughter with inherent human dignity) is a valuable defense against. Guilt is one thing. Shame for the rest of your life is another thing.

[photosynthesis]

also, i wasn't arguing in favor of the pop-psychology version of self-esteem, and i don't think we should baby our children and obsess about hurting peoples' feelings. but not belittling children and calling them things like "the poster child for birth control" (my mom's boyfriend's nickname for me) is a really good idea.