Gay/Lesbian Parents

[picchick]

I was unsure of where to put this. Right now I am studying Child and Adolescence Psychology.

[quote]Research on homosexual parents and children is limited and based on small samples.  Nevertheless, findings consistently indicate that gay and lesbian parents are as committed to and effective at child rearing as are heterosexual parents.  (Patterson, 2001).  Some evidence suggests that gay fathers are more consistent in setting limits and more responsive to their children's needs than are heterosexual fathers, perhaps because gay men's less traditional gender identity fosters involvement with children (Bigner and Jacobsen, 1989).  In lesbian families, quality of mother-child interaction is a positive as in heterosexual families.  And children of lesbian mothers regard their mother's partner as very much a parent (Brewaeys et al., 1997). [/quote]

[u]Child Development[/u] Laura E Berk

My thoughts:

Sure the child may have the fatherly influence but what about the motherly influence? Visa versa for the lesbian family. I believe that to develop normally and stabely a child needs to have a motherly and fatherly figure. The reason being is that men and women are created differently not only physically but mentally and emotionally. Women tend to be the more compassionate (although authoritative). Men can and are compassionate as well but they are seen as a diciplinarian.

The book says this about children of single parents (mothers in this case)
[quote]Also, when children of never-married mothers lack the warmth and involvement of a father, they achieve less well in school and engage in more antisocial behavior....[/quote]
Now couldn't this be applied to the gay/lesbian families?

The book went on to say that the child develops normally. Now I have this to say about that. Don't you think that the child may be made fun of for having two mommies or two daddies?


Meg

[Socrates]

[quote name='picchick' date='Aug 31 2005, 05:00 PM']I was unsure of where to put this.  Right now I am studying Child and Adolescence Psychology.
[u]Child Development[/u] Laura E Berk

My thoughts:

Sure the child may have the fatherly influence but what about the motherly influence?  Visa versa for the lesbian family.  I believe that to develop normally and stabely a child needs to have a motherly and fatherly figure.  The reason being is that men and women are created differently not only physically but mentally and emotionally.  Women tend to be the more compassionate (although authoritative).  Men can and are compassionate as well but they are seen as a diciplinarian. 

The book says this about children of single parents (mothers in this case)

Now couldn't this be applied to the gay/lesbian families?

The book went on to say that the child develops normally.  Now I have this to say about that.  Don't you think that the child may be made fun of for having two mommies or two daddies? 
Meg
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I agree with you. Any textbook used in most secular schools is going to be "politically correct" and not say anything that will risk upsetting the "gay" lobby.

[picchick]

Unfortunately my school is a Catholic Instiute. However, the book is secular. I just wanted to get some views before we discuss it in class tomorrow.

[Sojourner]

Meg --

Here's an article that may be helpful:
[url="http://www.narth.com/docs/researcher.html"]Researcher Surveys Studies on Gay Parenting and Children[/url]

At the bottom of that page, there are links to several other resources on this topic.

The link is off the home page for the [url="http://www.narth.com"]National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality[/url], which could provide a bunch of additional information for you on related topics.

[track2004]

I'm not quite sure where I stand on gay parenting. I think that it is a big responsibility and that the lack of one of the genders as a parental figure is contreversial. From what I've heard, though not actually seen or read, gay parents are very aware that one gender is missing in the child's life and try to have a male or female (depending on the parents) adult involved in the child's life. For instance a lesbian couple would have a uncle figure for the child. The fact that a child may be made fun of is secondary, tirchiary maybe. Children are made fun of for every thing, it's part of being a child, and I really doubt it could really make the child maladaptive. As long as they know their parents love them and love each other I would think they'd get over their peers ignorance or bigorty.

[Sojourner]

Here's another interesting column by Kathleen Parker:
[url="http://www.townhall.com/columnists/kathleenparker/kp20040703.shtml"]Same-sex marriage and the disposal of fatherhood[/url]

[cmotherofpirl]

Yep. Kids need moms and dads if at all possible. To grow up well missing one or the othere is possible, but there is a hole in your life.

[Theoketos]

I can tesyify to that personally

[Semalsia]

Can anyone give me [i]any[/i] reason why both sexes are requires in good parenting? You are only saying that it is, without an explanation.

I already asked this in another thread, but the only answer I got was that men have penises.

[track2004]

HEHE. That's funny, at least more creative than the typical answer to questions which is either "The Church says so" or "God says so". Personally I think having both genders as parents (or at lest adults involved in the child's life) gives the children a perspective on the difference and similarites between men and women. I really don't think it is necessary, but I do think it helps, especially in homes where the parent and child aren't of the same gender. The kid can learn what roles they may take on later in life, and be better adapted to their own gender. No matter what people say men and women are different, but at the same time we are very similar. I think kids should grow up in an environment where they realize that the genders are different, but that the difference makes them in no way unequal. (I think I got sidetracked somewhere in there but I don't know where and don't really want to change it now.)

[picchick]

[quote name='Semalsia' date='Aug 31 2005, 06:07 PM']Can anyone give me [i]any[/i] reason why both sexes are requires in good parenting? You are only saying that it is, without an explanation.

I already asked this in another thread, but the only answer I got was that men have penises.
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Both have different unique characteristics other than physically. Mothers tend to be more "motherly" and fathers are more authoritative. Mothers can be authoritative too but they have that "feminine touch" to it.

I was reading. Girls whose fathers left them or had little connections with their fathers were more likely to end up in bad dating relationships.

Also, it is easier for a boy to relate to his father or a father figure than his mother for obvious reasons. A girl to her mother.

This is not to say it isn't good parenting to have a single parent. However, it is best if the child can have both parental figures in the family.

I hope that this helps,
Meg

[curtins]

Well to raise a kid you need a Father and a Mother. Guys deffinatly need a father influence in their life. Studies have shown that. And they need a mother too. Im sure girls have the same needs. So if you need a father and a mother they should be married to best support and raise the child. Gay parrenting advances the cause for gay marriage. And it brings about a bad influence on the kid- i.e. they are exposed to homosexuality early and lead to beleive its ok.

[cmotherofpirl]

Each parent [male and female ] contributes something different to the raising of a healthy adult. They are equal but complementary.

Many of the problems in todays society are caused by no strong healthy male role model in the family. Boys need to learn how to be men,and girls need to learn how to relate to men.

[Dreamweaver]

Hmm, maybe I'm repeating what others have said, but its important for children to experience both a loving father and mother figure in their lives. A girl should look at how her father treats his wife: with love and respect. She should model her relationships on those principles. Without a father figure, she has less of an idea about what is considered respectible in a relationship. Often times, girls from single parent households end up in really bad relationships not knowing how they should be treated by men. Vice versa for boys.

[hierochloe]

[quote name='Semalsia' date='Aug 31 2005, 06:07 PM'].... the only answer I got was that men have penises.
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That answer is called the 'win' button.

[Era Might]

[quote]As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.

--Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, CONSIDERATIONS REGARDING PROPOSALS TO GIVE LEGAL RECOGNITION TO UNIONS BETWEEN HOMOSEXUAL PERSONS[/quote]

Edited September 1, 2005 by Era Might

[White Knight]

thats terrible... Homosexuallys sould not be allowed to raise children, nor be parents, their way of life souldn't be even mentioned as sexually healthy because its not, they' re at higher risk of getting STD's and other decieses. plus they teach another generation about their ways, and its damaging to the overall children.


Btw, I thought after last year, people voted that both styles of sexuality were not to be mentioned nor addressed in public school health books?

[thessalonian]

[quote name='Semalsia' date='Aug 31 2005, 06:07 PM']Can anyone give me [i]any[/i] reason why both sexes are requires in good parenting? You are only saying that it is, without an explanation.

I already asked this in another thread, but the only answer I got was that men have penises.
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[/quote]


My boys see in me a man going to work every day and providing for the family. A man who protects the family and who stands up for injustice. Or at least that's what I hope they see. My daughters feel protected by me. My healthy relationship and healthy affection with them teaches them how they are to be treated in life so that they do not look for the wrong sort of love when they go out to look for a husband. They see the role that my wife plays as well in caring for the little ones in a way that only a mother can. It is amazing to me how much the boys imitate me and the girls imitate their mother. Each recieves love from both of us but it is a different kind of love. I have a different relationship with my daughters than my sons and my wife also does Without both parents they will not grow up healthy and balanced. It's a simple fact.

[picchick]

[quote name='White Knight' date='Sep 1 2005, 07:11 PM']Btw, I thought after last year, people voted that both styles of sexuality were not to be mentioned nor addressed in public school health books?
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I didn't hear that. However, maybe that is for high school. Also I am at a private university so maybe that doesn't cover for our school.

[Didacus]

[quote name='Sojourner' date='Aug 31 2005, 05:45 PM']Here's another interesting column by Kathleen Parker:
[url="http://www.townhall.com/columnists/kathleenparker/kp20040703.shtml"]Same-sex marriage and the disposal of fatherhood[/url]
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[/quote]

yep, I liked that article:
[quote]Fathers, of all people, should know this best.[/quote]

I know this very well... and the author is right, that articulation is very difficult, but even unspoken, the truth remains the truth.
________________________________
edit:

My children see my wife as the one who runs the household. She does the meals, takes care of neatness, takes care of the children's immediate needs (bath, shool and other). They see me as the source of discipline; although my wife does punish as she needs to, when graver instences occur, she calls me in (wait till your father gets home sorta thing).

Also, I provide.

And I defend the family when things get too much for my wife. Example: my son had big trouble in school last year. I was the one who dealt with the principal and the situation as a whole. Although my wife takes care of making lunches, I take care of making certain my son was treated fairly when scool discipline was calling for a suspension.

In short, my wife takes care of what goes on inside the household, I take care of whatever external factors 'affect' the household. IE, I bring home the paycheck, but once its home, my wife takes it over. On the other hand, when we need a loan at the bank, I am the one that negotiates and signs the loan - my wife pays it afterwards.

Edited September 2, 2005 by Didacus