The 2005-06 RCIA thread

[hooverbloob]

[quote name='himself' date='Sep 23 2005, 03:26 AM']Hello. I am in RCIA  with my wife. I am confused as to what is going on, and even maybe a little paranoid about how I / we are being treated. I think they are trying to be sensitive and not offend us, but the "deafening silence" is getting a bit offensive in itself.

Life is complex, I was raised Catholic, received Communion at age 7, but became disconnected from the Church before I was ever confirmed. Now I am coming back, my wife is baptized Mormon (so she needs baptism, as the Church does not recognize Mormon baptism), and we were married civilly. We come to the church on our own to enter and be validated... I feel like people are "too polite" to say we are not welcome or something... Oh, and I guess it's more complicated than that, she has been married and divorced more than once before, but this is my first marriage.

We don't have any close family who are practicing Catholics, and my knowledge/understanding is mostly what I have acquired on my own, and what I remember from Catechism as a child. What is it that they don't want to say? Should I be wearing a scarlet letter or something? What does it take to try to do the right thing? This seems so contrary to my understanding of the spirit of Christianity, and I am Catholic and trying to reconcile this. I am not hep to quote chapter and verse, but I know that Jesus came to call sinners. I hear the call, and I come with all my blemishes. What now?

-Mike
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Wow! I have to admit that I know how you are feeling. Even though I'm a cradle Catholic and have remained Catholic forever, I still know what it is like to feel about people being "too polite" and not feeling welcome. Most of this could just be inside of you...what you want to perceive, not really what is actually going on. Does that make sense?

In my previous post, my husband and I were attending 2 churches on Sundays..one for me (Catholic) and one for him (Methodist). When I walked into the Methodist church I was bombarded with the overly friendly welcome and I just wanted to puke! I thought they all saw right threw me...I'm sure they knew I was Catholic from the get go as my husband is never shy about revealing that. Plus I was the only one in there doing the sign of the cross and genuflecting before sitting in the pew (perhaps just a habit). At any rate I felt like an outsider. I even attended some of the Sunday school classes there and about puked again! LOL I felt stupid because everyone knew these stories and the history already and I literally had no clue. So I became ticked off and had already made up my mind to not like this church or community because I didn't feel like I fit in. Is that similar to what you are feeling? Like an outsider? If so, have you made up your mind already to consider yourself an outsider? Just something to reflect on.

If you are really feeling called into the Catholic church and this RCIA group is not helping or supporting you in this decision, perhaps you may need to wait? Maybe the call is there but the timing isn't right yet. God calls us all...but some of us are too eager to jump the gun and not have patience to wait on the right time to fulfill his call.

[Brother Adam]

[quote name='Gal. 5:22' date='23,Sep 22 2005, 03:50 PM']I've attended two classes so far. We have 45 signed up. For some reason the DRE quit last week, leaving the parish.

They're having us attend the 7:30am Mass. The candidates leave right after the homily, which I like, because I always feel a little weird not being able to receive the Eucharist when everyone else is. We go until 10:00. Then, I rush out to meet my family at the Protestant church. I'm pretty exhausted by lunchtime. Only God can work this mess out!
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We're here to be exshausted with you and walk through this journey by your side. It is a long and difficult one, but one that when you look back, no matter how many doubts or fears you have in the future, you know deep in your heart that you are home and growing in holiness and closer to Jesus. It's a feeling like none other in the world. Though life keeps going on and there are many struggles ahead, in a way you feel like you can at the same time collapse into the restful arms of Jesus, knowing that the long hard journey back into full communion with Christ is over.

If you never need anything from your phatmass family you just ask or we will kick your behind! :

[Brother Adam]

[quote name='himself' date='Sep 23 2005, 04:26 AM']Hello. I am in RCIA  with my wife. I am confused as to what is going on, and even maybe a little paranoid about how I / we are being treated. I think they are trying to be sensitive and not offend us, but the "deafening silence" is getting a bit offensive in itself.

Life is complex, I was raised Catholic, received Communion at age 7, but became disconnected from the Church before I was ever confirmed. Now I am coming back, my wife is baptized Mormon (so she needs baptism, as the Church does not recognize Mormon baptism), and we were married civilly. We come to the church on our own to enter and be validated... I feel like people are "too polite" to say we are not welcome or something... Oh, and I guess it's more complicated than that, she has been married and divorced more than once before, but this is my first marriage.

We don't have any close family who are practicing Catholics, and my knowledge/understanding is mostly what I have acquired on my own, and what I remember from Catechism as a child. What is it that they don't want to say? Should I be wearing a scarlet letter or something? What does it take to try to do the right thing? This seems so contrary to my understanding of the spirit of Christianity, and I am Catholic and trying to reconcile this. I am not hep to quote chapter and verse, but I know that Jesus came to call sinners. I hear the call, and I come with all my blemishes. What now?

-Mike
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Mike,

I am deeply sorry for the difficult time you have had in RCIA so far and that you haven't been made to feel as welcome as if you were with old friends and family. Many RCIA programs are still very poor, and I myself experienced a very poor RCIA program last year when my wife and I became Catholic. Remember that as Catholics we are still striving as the Church Militant towards God. We strive for daily conversion, for santification, and to become more holy. Often we desperately fail to meet that awesome calling of God and depend solely on His grace to carry us along.

Please be patient and humble in your journey towards the Church, especially with those people who are hard to work with, I promise you when you sit before Jesus in the Eucharist in full communion as part of His Bride, everything you must go through to get there becomes worth it. I would suggest in the meantime to pray hard, and perhaps talk to the pastor of the Church.

We are here for you!

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Sep 23 2005, 02:48 PM']Mike,

I am deeply sorry for the difficult time you have had in RCIA so far and that you haven't been made to feel as welcome as if you were with old friends and family. Many RCIA programs are still very poor, and I myself experienced a very poor RCIA program last year when my wife and I became Catholic. Remember that as Catholics we are still striving as the Church Militant towards God. We strive for daily conversion, for santification, and to become more holy. Often we desperately fail to meet that awesome calling of God and depend solely on His grace to carry us along.

Please be patient and humble in your journey towards the Church, especially with those people who are hard to work with, I promise you when you sit before Jesus in the Eucharist in full communion as part of His Bride, everything you must go through to get there becomes worth it. I would suggest in the meantime to pray hard, and perhaps talk to the pastor of the Church.

We are here for you!
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I second what Adam said.

[Gal. 5:22,23]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Sep 23 2005, 02:42 PM']We're here to be exshausted with you and walk through this journey by your side. It is a long and difficult one, but one that when you look back, no matter how many doubts or fears you have in the future, you know deep in your heart that you are home and growing in holiness and closer to Jesus. It's a feeling like none other in the world. Though life keeps going on and there are many struggles ahead, in a way you feel like you can at the same time collapse into the restful arms of Jesus, knowing that the long hard journey back into full communion with Christ is over. 

If you never need anything from your phatmass family you just ask or we will kick your behind! :
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Thank you - I needed a little encouragement today!

[Brother Adam]

I'd really like to encourage each of you to find someone who can pray for you each and every day as you are making this journey. As you get closer to being a member in full communion with the Church, Satan is going to take notice, and he may try to spiritually attack you. Now I certianly don't mean to scare you though. For instance, you may find it harder to concentrate in prayer, or you may have more doubts about what you are doing is the right thing. And of course, we all need all the prayers we can get. We're brothers and sisters! Let's lift each other up!

[Dust's Sister]

I'm taking RCIA classes for the first time this year, I am already a confirmed Catholic, but I just wanted to come to learn more about my faith, so so far, it's been real good. I have fun in that class.

[AlterDominicus]

WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:woot::woot::woot::woot:

Starts Wedensday for me!!!!!!!!!

[Guest himself]

[quote name='hooverbloob' date='Sep 23 2005, 12:29 PM']Wow! I have to admit that I know how you are feeling. Even though I'm a cradle Catholic and have remained Catholic forever, I still know what it is like to feel about people being "too polite" and not feeling welcome. Most of this could just be inside of you...what you want to perceive, not really what is actually going on.  Does that make sense?

In my previous post, my husband and I were attending 2 churches on Sundays..one for me (Catholic) and one for him (Methodist). When I walked into the Methodist church I was bombarded with the overly friendly welcome and I just wanted to puke! I thought they all saw right threw me...I'm sure they knew I was Catholic from the get go as my husband is never shy about revealing that. Plus I was the only one in there doing the sign of the cross and genuflecting before sitting in the pew (perhaps just a habit). At any rate I felt like an outsider. I even attended some of the Sunday school classes there and about puked again! LOL I felt stupid because everyone knew these stories and the history already and I literally had no clue. So I became ticked off and had already made up my mind to not like this church or community because I didn't feel like I fit in. Is that similar to what you are feeling? Like an outsider? If so, have you made up your mind already to consider yourself an outsider? Just something to reflect on.

If you are really feeling called into the Catholic church and this RCIA group is not helping or supporting you in this decision, perhaps you may need to wait? Maybe the call is there but the timing isn't right yet. God calls us all...but some of us are too eager to jump the gun and not have patience to wait on the right time to fulfill his call.
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Hi, thanks for your reply. I hear what you are saying about, well, to paraphrase, about projecting our own insecurities on others when we are in an unfamiliar or uncomfortable setting... I know I experience those feelings, and it has been and continues to be a struggle for me, especially as I am not always the most socially adept person around. But I am aware of this in myself, and I continue to work on it, and that includes in my prayer life.

The specific situation I wrote about is a complex one for a number of reasons. That is partly due to the history of myself and my wife, and partly due to my piecemeal understanding of the "ins and outs" of the church. I feel (and yes, this may be partly projected on my part) that the people conducting the RCIA (there is a layperson, an assistant layperson, and the parish priest, who seems to be "the buck stops here" guy, so to speak) are in a way "sheltering" me from knowledge/information of my actual status. I appreciate it from the point of view of being sensitive to my feelings and not wanting to scare me away from the process, but I also feel that it is unnecessary and demeaning to my dignity to be less than direct, even blunt about it. I would rather know specifics so I can grasp it and examine it and go to God with it. If I am of the age of reason (at 45), then surely it makes sense that I can be treated as a mature individual capable of his own moral choices. I reflect on this stuff, I recognize the well-meaning intentions of these people and I appreciate that, but when I contemplate the WWJD of things, I don't feel I ought to be kept in the dark.

That much having been said, I struggle with this and I am willing to go forward. I am trying to sort these things out and try to find a way to talk to someone about them, but I feel intimidated, I feel as if it is not necessarily safe for me to ask the questions that I have, and to pursue the answers. Often when I bring up something that is "sensitive", I am given an answer of short shrift, and I get the definite sense that I am treading on thin ice. Surely I must be able to speak freely and openly of my questions and reservations. How else can I grow in the Faith?

Do you think I am being unnecessarily timid? I really feel I need to be cautious about this stuff.... I feel like I really need to be able to get "down and dirty" on an intellectual level with someone about this stuff. Father is quite a brilliant man, but he is also very busy, and quite intimidating.

Thanks everyone for letting me air this here, I appreciate all comments and advice.

-Mike

[Guest himself]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Sep 23 2005, 01:48 PM']Mike,

I am deeply sorry for the difficult time you have had in RCIA so far and that you haven't been made to feel as welcome as if you were with old friends and family. Many RCIA programs are still very poor, and I myself experienced a very poor RCIA program last year when my wife and I became Catholic. Remember that as Catholics we are still striving as the Church Militant towards God. We strive for daily conversion, for santification, and to become more holy. Often we desperately fail to meet that awesome calling of God and depend solely on His grace to carry us along.

Please be patient and humble in your journey towards the Church, especially with those people who are hard to work with, I promise you when you sit before Jesus in the Eucharist in full communion as part of His Bride, everything you must go through to get there becomes worth it. I would suggest in the meantime to pray hard, and perhaps talk to the pastor of the Church.

We are here for you!
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Adam, thanks for the encouragement, it is helpful. I don't know that this RCIA program is poor (nothing to compare it to), I really like the lady that runs it, and the people in support of that... it seems they are very thoughtful about it all and concerned for doing it right. I have to say, that from this side of the "classroom" the process is very mysterious, and I wonder if that is common to RCIA, or particular to what I'm going through? I also wonder to what extent it is necessary. Perhaps it is difficult for me (and probably for many adults) because we are not coming to this experience in complete ignorance. For my own part, I participated in Catechism until about age 13. It never seemed to have rhyme or reason to it as a kid, but clearly I took much of it to heart, and I have striven to adhere to the faith as I understood it.

I am working on patience and humility, and that is helping me. Coming here and talking about it with all you folks is also helping me, I don't feel so isolated in my confusion and frustration. In fact, that's how I stumbled on this site, I came home from RCIA last night feeling really torqued about things, so I googled some stuff I was frustrated about, and this site was one of the results of that search.

Thanks y'all!

-Mike

[jmj]

RCIA doesn't start for me until the first week of October.

I can't wait.

[kateri05]

my husband started RCIA two weeks ago and will be reconciled/1st Communioned/Confirmed at Easter!!!

AND, we're going home for it to MD : so.... if you're in the area, stop on by St. Pius X for the Easter Vigil!

[homeschoolmom]

[tojo]

Thank God I had a wonderful RCIA program.

[homeschoolmom]

Me too. :sigh: Prayers for all of the catechists, catecumens and candidates...

[jezic]

i hope there will be a bunch.

The Truth will set you free.....

[Sojourner]

Bad RCIA programs can be endured. They at least keep you on your toes because you have to dig up orthodox stuff on your own.

[WhatTheChatechuman?]

I am happy to have discovered this forum, despite the negative keywords I used in google to find it. Lord have mercy.

OK here goes. After a lifelong draw to the Catholic Church, I inquired and begain attending Mass in May. The last several months have been a beautiful and deeply spiritual time for me. I was raised by what I lovingly refer to as "the fanatics." Deeply devout fundamentalist Christians. I was baptized as a pre-teen. My childhood memories are more in church than out. I won't go into my whole experience with that. Some is quite bizarre. But it was a solid Christian upbringing that deeply rooted in me a love of Jesus and despite rejecting the organized church (Quakers, Methodists) of my youth I have had a deep prayer and spiritual journey throughout my life that has led me to the Catholic Faith. In the last several months while attending Mass I have studied on my own, and yes I admit to actually loving EWTN late at night.

Where I am basically freaking out is on this RCIA deal. I was led to believe because of my baptism I could fast track to becoming Catholic near the Christmas Advent. Somehow with no explanation I am in RCIA, which on the onset seemed fine. However after 3 weeks of it, I feel like it is group therapy. Very testimonial driven, and waiting for each person to hear the word of god after breaking open the word and then relay that. The people are wonderful, but I have never felt comfortable in the group therapy type thing. I do fine in small (3-4)groups, not larger ones. Coming from the fanatic upbringing the testimonial slant on it brings me back to some unhappy places and now I almost feel like I NEED group therapy for things I had gotten past. It is so bad that I feel inadequate at RCIA, I just don't have anything to say. Everyone else seems to love to get there and just start pouring out their problems whether in relation to the Word or not. Most instances....NOT.
Anyway, I needed to vent. Thanks for anyone who reads, please say a prayer. I'm hoping this will get better and praying for patience.

Peace.

[Sojourner]

WhatTheCatechumen ...
Technically, you're right that as a previously baptized Christian you should be able to be received into full communion with the church at a different time than Easter Vigil. I for a while had big issues with the fact that I had to wait until Easter Vigil to be accepted. The norms state that previously baptized Christians should be accepted at a time other than Easter Vigil because EV should be reserved for people who are being baptized. However, most churches don't do that. So you'll likely have to stick out the entire RCIA program.

There are some benefits, even if on the surface it doesn't appear beneficial.

1) The waiting makes you appreciate confirmation and first communion all the more. I sobbed when I finally got to receive. I am a crier, but not a public sobber ... it was just an incredibly moving experience. And I must grudgingly admit that the wait made it better.

2) Even though EV is properly reserved for total newbies to the faith, it is a beautiful experience.

3) Through RCIA, it's possible you can meet other people who've come through similar backgrounds. This wasn't true in my case, and it may not be in yours, but the chance is there.

[homeschoolmom]

Another benefit is learning patience and obedience to things we don't understand or agree with.

However, speak with your priest.

and welcome.