Can men and women be "just friends?"

[azaelia]

I've seen it happen...but personal experience leads me to believe it doesn't work.

[heyyoimjohnny]

Yes and yes.

[Moosey]

Well some of my really good friends are guys...so

I guess it all depends on how you feel towards the other person.

[track2004]

I think being 'just friends' works best if you don't focus on the gender part. The guys are guys and the girls are girls, yeah, but xx, xy, xx and I all like running or xx and xy really like the same movie, or xx and xy are into the same philosophical movement. They are just people; they are just friends.

[curtins]

My first and so far only girlfreind came at a time right before my life totaly changed. a month after we broke up I decided I was through with trying to be ghetto or preppy or whatever- I was going punk and not too long after that I discovered my faith and that just took off from there. So Id say that within 4 months I was a completly differnet person. and even more so now. That makes me trying to be freinds with my ex kinda espeicially hard since I went out with her when I was totally differnent that I am now. But I think in time you and the other person should be able to and will look back on it and laugh.

A good way to ensure freindship after dating is to keep it chaist.

[Socrates]

If there's any attraction at all, pretty much impossible.

And if there once was a romantic relationship, or even serious mutual attraction, pretty much impossible.

I've been "just friends" with a number of women, but not in a close way. And once a girlfriend breaks up, she'll generally avoid you.

[heavenseeker]

yeah you could be
"just friends"

[matt_in_ohio]

Once again, I want to let everyone know that I sincerely appreciate your input, as well as some of the stories that I have heard. Brother Adam, your story in particular is an inspiration, thought I have to admit that, in general, I have to agree with the people who say it is difficult to be friends after there was something more. But I really appreciate you sharing the story.

Jazz – all I can say is, you’re a stronger man than I. I had an ex girlfriend get married several years ago, and it took me a long time before I could face the both of them. I did, and it went well, but it was still tough for me.

Proud – it doesn’t sound like you and the person you were dating were on the same page as far as what either of you wanted out of the relationship, and that is a shame. I’m pretty sure that this girl and I were, though the possibility of my overwhelming her isn’t why we broke up. However, for your situation, I’m not sure you can be friends with that person. It sounds like trouble waiting to happen. But I’m not there, and I can only go by what you’ve written, so only you can make an accurate judgment as to how you should act. Yes, guys are wired differently than girls, but there are nice guys out there who will respect you. My wish for you would be to find one of those guys – I think you’ll be a lot happier.

Sojourner & Track– I whole-heartedly agree with what both of you said about having friends of the opposite sex, and about not making gender a part of the equation.

I have been on every side of this situation, and I have never found a way, I feel, to really make it work. Once you “cross that line” of being just friends, it has always felt really awkward to me to try to go back. My experience has been that the people usually avoid each other because of that feeling.

That’s why I’m confused as to why this girl has made an effort to keep this going for so long. She knows how I feel about this whole situation, so I’m not sure how she doesn’t feel awkward around me. And it’s not like I’m a guy that most girls would consider “hot,” so I doubt she’s hanging around me for that reason. More than likely I’m probably just over thinking this, and she’s just trying to be nice. I just have to come to terms with how I am comfortable in dealing with this situation.

So how does that prayer to St. Therese of Lisiuex go

[prose]

I haven't read this thread, just the opening question...

My old roommates have all been males. We have all been platonic except one.

I still have at least 3 very close guy friends, no problems at all.

Yes, it is possible, but not if you have feelings for eachother.