i quit my job today.

[photosynthesis]

I got verbally abused at work today. Now, that's not an unusual thing. I work as a student fundraiser in the Alumnae House so that's an everyday occurence. When Goucher calls people and asks them for money, sometimes people get cranky and abusive.

But I didn't expect to get abused by my boss.

Let me explain. Yesterday I went to work, I raised about $150 dollars for Goucher so that students can continue to recieve merit scholarships and financial aid. Isn't that great? I think so. It was just a normal day of work, and the only out-of-the-ordinary thing that happened was that one alunma named Maria tried to get me to become a Jehovah Witness. I listened to her, and then respectfully declined her offer. Other than that, nothing interesting happened.

Then I came to work today and was surprised to find out that my boss had asked to speak with me in her office. I was told to refrain from calling until I spoke with her, so I waited patiently until she came into the phonathon room.

She then came in, and escorted me to her office. I was told to have a seat, and then she proceeded to yell and scream at me. She said that her boss had recieved TWO angry phone calls from Goucher alumnae, saying that they recieved calls from a student with my name who was making disparaging remarks about Goucher College, specifically about its new study abroad requirement. Now, personally, I don't care about the study abroad requirement. I'm graduating and it won't affect me. Goucher can do whatever it wants and I don't care. When I was calling on Monday night, the subject of Goucher's study abroad policies NEVER came up, neither did the strategic plan, or the new Residence Hall. As sick of Goucher as I am, I am grateful for the education I'm recieving here and the oppurtunity Goucher's given me to pursue so many different interests. I would never say anything bad about Goucher on the phones.

Well, I tried to say this to my boss, but she just kept screaming at me about the history of the Strategic Plan and how studying abroad is so necessary in order to be an "educated citizen of the world." I was having all of this "official" Goucher rhetoric thrown in my face, and was told that I was not being a good "model Goucher student" and was giving a bad impression of the College to Goucher Alunmae. I honestly never made any negative comments about Goucher on the phones and I have no idea where she's getting her information. She gave me absulutely no documentation about the comments in question and I have no reason to believe it ever happened.

She said, "Now I know that you're a very opinionated person but you're just going to have to keep them to yourself if they aren't in harmony with Goucher's Strategic Plan." I don't know what "opinions" about the Strategic Plan she thinks I have. I really don't care because I'm graduating really soon and I just want to get out of here. The only "opinions" they might know about are my pro-life opinions, since I wore my Feminists for Life shirt yesterday, the one that says "Women deserve better than abortion." But it doesn't even matter because I haven't ever talked about abortion on the phones because it hasn't come up in conversation.

I tried to tell her that I didn't make the comments, and that there's another girl working at the Alumnae House with the same name as I have who could have made them, but my boss wouldn't let me speak. She said "I AM THE ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF THE ANNUAL FUND OF GOUCHER COLLEGE AND YOU WILL NOT TALK BACK TO ME." I then started to cry--hard. I was sobbing. Now, usually if I ever make someone cry I give them a tissue, apologize for hurting their feelings and try to help them deal with whatever they're dealing with. But Melanie said "DON'T go playing the crying game!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL! I HAVE A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY FROM UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN AND I GRADUTATED AT THE TOP OF MY CLASS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL." That just made me cry even harder. "HOW OLD ARE YOU? YOU'RE IN YOUR EARLY TWENTIES. YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BABY. ADULTS DON'T CRY IN THEIR BOSSES' OFFICES. YOU'LL NEVER GO FAR IN LIFE IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GROW A THICK SKIN AND smell of elderberries IT UP!!!" direct quote.

I wasn't crying in her office because I was trying to "play the crying game" and make her feel sorry for me. I don't care what my boss thinks about me. She can think whatever she wants. If she wants to think I made those calls, whatever. I don't have to fundraise for her. I wasn't working at the Alumnae House for the money, I was doing it because I enjoy the work and I like helping my college. But it's not worth it if I have to deal with this lady and her emotional instability. I left the room in tears and all my co-workers were shocked because they could hear our boss screaming at me from across the building.

She said to me, "YOU HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE. If you do anything against our policies, you will be TERMINATED." Terminated? What in the world? Why can't people just say "fire" anymore? Corporate euphemisms, oh how I loathe them...

I told her I was no longer interested in working there if I had to deal with that kind of harassment, and I left the room. While it would be nice and convenient to make a few extra dollars on campus, I'd rather be poor than be verbally abused.

Then I went to the Adoration Chapel, and that was awesome as usual. Jesus really comforted me!!! He has this all figured out and I'm trusting in Him to help me in this situation, and also to let it go and forgive her. But forgiveness is so hard! How do you forgive people? I'm still not sure how to go about it? My mom keeps telling me to tell human resources because the situation qualifies as a "hostile work environment" but I don't think it's worth it. I really just want to forget about this and move on...

[corban711]

sorry you had to go through all that! that is a real bummer! especially since it would have been nice to just work there until graduation. but obviously Jesus had other plans for you! prayers for everything!

[Philippe]

that sounds like a crazy day, just trust in God's plan for you. Everythings gonna work out

[Phazzan]

[color=red]that was uncalled for language and a terrible suggestion.[/color]

Edited October 5, 2005 by cmotherofpirl

[Brother Adam]

she has a bachalors so she thinks that makes her God. She's a joke on a power trip. I know too many of them.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Oct 5 2005, 09:17 AM']she has a bachalors so she thinks that makes her God. She's a joke on a power trip. I know too many of them.
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yeah, tell me about it. while i'm about to get my bachelor's degree I don't think it makes me a better person for having one. one of my best friends works with mentally disabled people who probably wouldn't be able to complete the third grade, and even they are able to talk to people without screaming at them. You don't need a Ph.D. to have basic social skills and unfortunately a lot of "educated" people lack social skills, along with manners and courtesy.

I'm trying to see God's plan in all of this. While it's going to be tough financially I can use the 9-12 hours a week I'd normally spend at work doing other things, like preparing for my Total Consecration to Our Lady, adoration, updating my resume and applying for real jobs and schoolwork. so it's probably better anyway. Also, now that I think about it I think that I myself was on a bit of an ego trip and I needed the humbling experience. My internship experience that I had at CBS was really rewarding and all of my supervisors loved me. but that's not to say that it makes me better than anyone and I'm glad God showed me that jobs aren't everything.

[jasJis]

Message from God:
Life ain't fair. Ask Job. But [b]I'm [/b]dependable (and more than fair in the end).

[photosynthesis]

ain't that the truth.

[Kilroy the Ninja]

You are right to let go and let God. My only suggestion is to prayerfully consider whether or not you should let someone higher on the chain than your former boss know about her actions so that she isn't able to do that other people. Not out of venegence, but more out of concern for others.

[Theoketos]

[quote name='Kilroy the Ninja' date='Oct 5 2005, 09:40 AM']You are right to let go and let God.  My only suggestion is to prayerfully consider whether or not you should let someone higher on the chain than your former boss know about her actions so that she isn't able to do that other people.  Not out of venegence, but more out of concern for others.
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Words out of my mouth.

The ninja is wise.

[theculturewarrior]

I'm praying for you! You're (former) boss sounded really mean.

[Theoketos]

""I AM THE ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF THE ANNUAL FUND OF GOUCHER COLLEGE AND YOU WILL NOT TALK BACK TO ME."

Sounds like she might not go far beyond that. May God forgive her for she may not really know what she has done.

[zabbazooey]

Prayers for you and your former boss. What a tough situation. I am sorry you had to go through that...

[Norseman82]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Oct 5 2005, 05:30 AM']there's another girl working at the Alumnae House with the same name as I have who could have made them, but my boss wouldn't let me speak.
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I would be very concerned about this, especially in this age of identity theft. I have a friend who got stuck with the phone bills of someone who had the same name as he. He ended up having to legally change his name to protect himself.

Do something to protect yourself, whether it be talk to a lawyer or to someone in an official position on campus.

[scardella]

Maybe you should talk to the actual Director of the Annual Fund...

[Lil Red]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Oct 5 2005, 04:30 AM']Then I went to the Adoration Chapel, and that was awesome as usual. Jesus really comforted me!!!  He has this all figured out and I'm trusting in Him to help me in this situation, and also to let it go and forgive her.  But forgiveness is so hard!  How do you forgive people?  I'm still not sure how to go about it?  My mom keeps telling me to tell human resources because the situation qualifies as a "hostile work environment" but I don't think it's worth it.  I really just want to forget about this and move on...[right][snapback]746642[/snapback][/right][/quote]
isn't adoration awesome??? i'm glad you went to the chapel and was comforted. you could try to resolve the situation for others like yourself who come after you that have to work there, or you could offer the situation up to the Lord and ask Him what He wants you to do. God bless and good luck! i'm proud of you that you left there without stooping to her level.

[toledo_jesus]

Her bachelor's didn't serve her well, because she apparently was unwilling to believe you might be crying because you were being attacked for nothing. That's why she's not working in psychology.

I've found that people who feel the need to remind others of their position often don't have much clout outside their position and feel somewhat inadequate. She was probably made to feel more inadequate by dealing with irate alumni, and took it out on you.

I would most definitely report her actions to the director. That is unacceptable behavior in a professional and the office will be better off it it is corrected. You can write a letter, get a statement and a witness if you need to and that can be where your involvement ends. The director should take care of it. Make sure you cc: your letter to the President of the University so there is pressure from on high and from below to correct this. I am serious about the cc: if you decide to go forward with this. It will help alot.

edit to say, forgiveness is good, but correction is part of forgiveness.

[1337 k4th0l1x0r]

[img]http://www.astrosurf.org/lombry/Documents/terminator-2.jpg[/img]

[Specter]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Oct 5 2005, 05:30 AM']I tried to tell her that I didn't make the comments, and that there's another girl working at the Alumnae House with the same name as I have who could have made them, but my boss wouldn't let me speak. She said "I AM THE ASSOCIATE DIRECTOR OF THE ANNUAL FUND OF GOUCHER COLLEGE AND YOU WILL NOT TALK BACK TO ME." I then started to cry--hard. I was sobbing. Now, usually if I ever make someone cry I give them a tissue, apologize for hurting their feelings and try to help them deal with whatever they're dealing with. But Melanie said "DON'T go playing the crying game!!! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL! I HAVE A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY FROM UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN AND I GRADUTATED AT THE TOP OF MY CLASS, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO PULL." That just made me cry even harder. "HOW OLD ARE YOU? YOU'RE IN YOUR EARLY TWENTIES. YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BABY. ADULTS DON'T CRY IN THEIR BOSSES' OFFICES. YOU'LL NEVER GO FAR IN LIFE IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GROW A THICK SKIN AND smell of elderberries IT UP!!!" direct quote.
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I went through very nearly the exact same experience.
The differences:
1) I didn't cry, but I got very very angry and confused
2) The perpetrator was a youth minister that I had known for about 6 or 7 years.
3) She believed that I did not do my job as a chaperone for the Steubenville retreat.

This happened on the way home, back in 2003. She pulled me into her jeep alone for about 3 hours of the return journey. She asked me why I was still attending the youth group, and why I went to Steubenville, etc. Then she proceeded to scream bloody murder at me for what she believed the holy spirit was telling her to say. How did I know it could not have been the holy spirit? Because she started speaking about all the "changes" that Vatican II had made. ("TOO MANY CHURCHES ARE TOO SLOW AT MOVING THE TABERNACLE FROM THE CENTER OF THE CHURCH. ALTER RAILS ARE OUTTA HERE") She also started yelling at me about a youth group that I am still a part of to this day, called Antioch, and how this group had "persecuted" a man at Holy Family Parish. She was way off base and out of line the entire time she was doing this, and completely destroyed every last bit of the trust and respect that I had over the years for her. Worse, she's teaching Confirmation classes at Holy Family, at least within the past few years. Argh.. so I hear you with the verbal abuse thing. I lived with it from my own father for about 15 years.

[point5]

take it up with miss bigshots boss...whoever her authority is