annie Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 They are so moody---as a matter of fact, the pediatrician thinks the 14 yr old is clinically depressed! She is so belligerent, sour and lethargic. We are going to a psychiatrist on Wed, hopefully she will get some help. Where is my little girl? And the 16 yr old has just started driving....Hail Mary, full of grace,......
Dudette Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 I'm 16 and I'll be driving soon too... Anyway. It really depends, girls tend to be really emotional and some are more emtional than others and they can get depressed (more so). I can kinda relate to the 14 year old, but I have learned to control my emotions. Have you asked them if there's something that they want to talk about? Because it sometimes it just that they keep everything inside of them and haven't told anybody. Prayers for them!!
Thy Geekdom Come Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 Stick 'em in a burlap sack and beat them with bamboo sticks.
Theoketos Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 [quote name='Raphael' date='Oct 28 2005, 04:03 PM']Stick 'em in a burlap sack and beat them with bamboo sticks. [right][snapback]773058[/snapback][/right] [/quote] We need a warning label with him. What he means is constant love and affection.
StColette Posted October 28, 2005 Posted October 28, 2005 [quote name='Theoketos' date='Oct 28 2005, 04:45 PM']We need a warning label with him. What he means is constant love and affection. [right][snapback]773081[/snapback][/right] [/quote] lol I agree
annie Posted October 28, 2005 Author Posted October 28, 2005 kill them with kindness??? LOL They are in an "I hate my freakish parents' mode. We can do nothing right, should not be seen in public, are religious fanatics (because we go to Church EVERY week) and 'believe all that stuff' and we also are 'ultra-critical' (a.k.a. tell them when they break the rules). Guess we will have to wait until they have their first kid to have them realize ...... THEY WILL TURN OUT JUST LIKE US Muhahahahahahaha!
cmotherofpirl Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 [quote name='annie' date='Oct 28 2005, 07:56 PM']kill them with kindness??? LOL They are in an "I hate my freakish parents' mode. We can do nothing right, should not be seen in public, are religious fanatics (because we go to Church EVERY week) and 'believe all that stuff' and we also are 'ultra-critical' (a.k.a. tell them when they break the rules). Guess we will have to wait until they have their first kid to have them realize ...... THEY WILL TURN OUT JUST LIKE US Muhahahahahahaha! [right][snapback]773123[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I will point out that by 17 they will be almost human again. In the meantime just assume you can do absolutely nothing right, all your motives will be misconstrued, and everything out of your mouth will get you an "O MOTHER!!!!" Take it with a grain of salt, this too shall pass. Concentrate on their strengths, because they are still really unsure of themselves and are very vulnerable [ I know that sounds unbelievable, but its true]. Don't take it personally, have a glass of wine everynight, and you will survive.
Anastasia13 Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 28 2005, 09:42 PM']I will point out that by 17 they will be almost human again. In the meantime just assume you can do absolutely nothing right, all your motives will be misconstrued, and everything out of your mouth will get you an "O MOTHER!!!!"[right][snapback]773223[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yeah, we learn eventually.
photosynthesis Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 [quote name='annie' date='Oct 28 2005, 04:33 PM']They are so moody---as a matter of fact, the pediatrician thinks the 14 yr old is clinically depressed! [right][snapback]773037[/snapback][/right] [/quote] just don't punish her for it. the worst thing a mom could do to their child is to punish them for something they never asked for.
KobeScott8 Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 If anyone can figure out teenage girl (any girls for that matter) then holla @ ya boy. Good LUCK!!!!
annie Posted October 29, 2005 Author Posted October 29, 2005 Photosynthesis-- That is EXACTLY what has been happening at the beginning of all this---I mean, we were clueless why she was being SO disobedient, sassing us, screaming, uncooperative etc---our only way of dealing with that was to ground her, etc. When it didn't 'shape her up' (like good discipline usually does--) we sought help. I guess part of depression is antangonistic behavior (not just lethargy, listlessness, sadness etc). We just didn't realize that was part of it, and are so very sorry for not catching on. It has been about 6 weeks or so. Please pray for us-- this Wednesday we see the Psychiatrist, and pray she will be helpful and understanding. But thank you, photosynthesis, as I don't know your age, but assume you are closer to my daughter's age than mine---you have given great insight.
homeschoolmom Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Oct 28 2005, 10:42 PM']I will point out that by 17 they will be almost human again. In the meantime just assume you can do absolutely nothing right, all your motives will be misconstrued, and everything out of your mouth will get you an "O MOTHER!!!!" Take it with a grain of salt, this too shall pass. Concentrate on their strengths, because they are still really unsure of themselves and are very vulnerable [ I know that sounds unbelievable, but its true]. Don't take it personally, have a glass of wine everynight, and you will survive. [right][snapback]773223[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yeah, and as long as you can't do anything right anyway, you might as well have fun with it. When we went to RussianGirl's high school parent/teacher conferences we walked out of the house looking, well... a little hill billy... of course we didn't show up that way, but it was fun leaving the house that way.
musturde Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 Advice: don't go to a psychiatrist. Try a psychologist first.
photosynthesis Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 [quote name='annie' date='Oct 29 2005, 08:58 AM']Photosynthesis-- That is EXACTLY what has been happening at the beginning of all this---I mean, we were clueless why she was being SO disobedient, sassing us, screaming, uncooperative etc---our only way of dealing with that was to ground her, etc. When it didn't 'shape her up' (like good discipline usually does--) we sought help. I guess part of depression is antangonistic behavior (not just lethargy, listlessness, sadness etc). We just didn't realize that was part of it, and are so very sorry for not catching on. It has been about 6 weeks or so. Please pray for us-- this Wednesday we see the Psychiatrist, and pray she will be helpful and understanding. But thank you, photosynthesis, as I don't know your age, but assume you are closer to my daughter's age than mine---you have given great insight. [right][snapback]773400[/snapback][/right] [/quote] i'm not sure about the antagonistic behavior being associated with depression.. i know that sometimes the symptoms are different for children, adolescents and adults, so maybe it's true that it's characteristic of adolescent depression... i know I was pretty darn feisty when I was 16, and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder AND oppositional defiant disorder, however my current doctor says that I never had O.D.D. and that it was just a combination of being bipolar and being a teenage girl. It seems like the APA is coming out with new disorders every month, and my psych professor says that the new edition of the DSM is going to be so big, they will have to put it in 4 volumes!!! I think our culture is so afraid of human suffering that whenever someone exhibits feelings and behaviors that are unpleasant, we try to put them in a box and "cure" the problem. At the same time, there are a lot of people with mental illness who aren't properly diagnosed and aren't receiving the help and treatment they need. Another thing that parents do sometimes is act like they deserve some special medal of honor for dealing with "difficult" children. My mom always acts like that, and it really hurts me. I will be praying for you and your daughter.
annie Posted October 29, 2005 Author Posted October 29, 2005 Thank you so very much. Our son is ADHD/LD, and has been diagnosed since age 4. The diagnosis and treatment literally saved his life. The meds he is on have changed his life (and the family's life) for the better. I will be very cautious about meds for my daughter, though. I do realize depression is a mental illness, but want to investigate it thoroughly before resorting to meds. I understand what you mean about parental-medal-wearing. Thanks to some wonderful people and literature, I see my parental role in our son's development not as a burden and marathon for which we deserve a medal, but as a blessed learning experience and window into the meaning of love and forgiveness. Some days I truly see my son as the one sacraficing so that WE can become more holy! That took years to learn, but I think it is a good perspective.
photosynthesis Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 [quote name='annie' date='Oct 29 2005, 07:08 PM']Thank you so very much. Our son is ADHD/LD, and has been diagnosed since age 4. The diagnosis and treatment literally saved his life. The meds he is on have changed his life (and the family's life) for the better. I will be very cautious about meds for my daughter, though. I do realize depression is a mental illness, but want to investigate it thoroughly before resorting to meds. I understand what you mean about parental-medal-wearing. Thanks to some wonderful people and literature, I see my parental role in our son's development not as a burden and marathon for which we deserve a medal, but as a blessed learning experience and window into the meaning of love and forgiveness. Some days I truly see my son as the one sacraficing so that WE can become more holy! That took years to learn, but I think it is a good perspective. [right][snapback]773635[/snapback][/right] [/quote] your children are lucky to have parents that care about their emotional + spiritual well being
Socrates Posted October 29, 2005 Posted October 29, 2005 Feed them some broth without any bread, Whip them all soundly and send them to bed. (From the old nursery rhyme, "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe")
Thy Geekdom Come Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 [quote name='Socrates' date='Oct 29 2005, 07:56 PM']Feed them some broth without any bread, Whip them all soundly and send them to bed. (From the old nursery rhyme, "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe") [right][snapback]773662[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Very similar to my advice. I repeat...burlap sack and bamboo stick. Really...it's easy.
jasJis Posted October 30, 2005 Posted October 30, 2005 [quote name='annie' date='Oct 28 2005, 03:33 PM']They are so moody---as a matter of fact, the pediatrician thinks the 14 yr old is clinically depressed! She is so belligerent, sour and lethargic. We are going to a psychiatrist on Wed, hopefully she will get some help. Where is my little girl? And the 16 yr old has just started driving....Hail Mary, full of grace,...... [right][snapback]773037[/snapback][/right] [/quote]I grew up with 4 sisters and have 2 daughters, 16 & 19. I feel your pain. I've got lot's of advice, but the best advice you seem to know. Pay attention, ask other's opinions, and do the best you can. Continue to be a parent, you kids need that more than a friend.
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