Advice

[robguitar]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='Nov 5 2005, 06:17 PM']Yes, one of affirmation.  By taking the following steps you did right:
Then, to follow up, just keep a look out of the corner of your eye, so to speak, to make sure that your son does not get too involved with this girl.  Also, are there other Catholic/Christian families that you know of that have sons IMing her as well?  It might be helpful to casually "slip into conversation" with those families that you had to block the IMs on your home computer.

As far as confronting the parents, all I can say is:  Be careful.  A few reasons:

1)  If the confrontation gets out of hand, it could escalate into physical violence and you or someone else could be injured or get into legal trouble.

2)  From what you posted, it almost seems like the other family doesn't care.  Either that, or the girl needs a good influence in her life due to her home situation falling apart.  Maybe there's nothing you can do on that front except to be aware of it.
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I totally agree. Even if their daughter is turning out to be a "tramp", if you go and tell them how to raise her you could be asking for a lot of bad repercussions. No parent wants to be told how to raise their kids.

In my opinion, pray for her, stay involved in your children's "computer life" as much as possible, and tell/show your children what is right by example. It's not easy, but parenting is hard work. I know because I have two kids.

Peace

[annie]

Thess--

I have been in your shoes! Ugh, I hate technology! One thing I will say, and this is NOT meant to get 'her' off the hook, but it IS true that these kids 'talk it up' more than they act. Vulgarity is awful, and sinful, but it isn't always an indication of action or even desire for action. I sensed in your post that parental 'freak out' that I have had (three teenagers right now)--that 'A+B=C' ---Oh no, not C!!! Then A and B are leading to it! Well, that isn't always the case.

Of course, they both should be admonished. I say instead of the family, you call the GIRL (or IM her!) and make it clear you expect to see none of that again. Skip the parents---just make sure you communicate with her at an electronic distance. Also, if I may be so bold, have you seen any of what your son has IMed to her? Could be the pot calling the kettle black.....
Just the voice of one who has had to eat humble pie...

[thessalonian]

Thanks for the constructive comments. I blocked it but am well aware that he can unblock it. As far as watching them, we have been for a long time and there doesn't seem to be any real interest with him. He seems to be quite interested in one good solid Catholic girl. We of course will continue to keep an eye on him. He knows I am watching his IM and all and we will continue to keep an eye on him. By the way, this isn't the only incident like this this week. My 8 yr old son had another kid talking about strippers and rape and telling him about a porn site. Another "catholic" family. I went and talked to the dad. He talked to the kid and the did denied it of course and convinced the dad my SONS (2 of them heard it and the older one I find to be quite honest) were lying about him. Then later in the week he told my son that another kid on the corner that my kids play with told him about the stuff and he won't talk about it anymore. At least he knows I don't put up with it.

[Aloysius]

From what I read here on the phorum, you are doing a commendable parenting job and all those other parents could learn from you.

[thessalonian]

[quote]I see it as more of an involuntary invasion. Kinda like porn popups. I dont like them, but they happen(or at least they did til I got a good popup blocker  ) Ya cant go out and find the pornstars and tell them to stop what they are doing (well you can, but i dont think they'd care). We all have freedom of will and freedom of choice. It is truly one of God's greatest gifts. Pray for the girl, but understand you cannot change her. God changes hearts, men dont. But furthermore, you also cannot control what a person puts on their AIM profile. Thats at their house. You really shouldnt see it as a home invasion, for I doubt the person is doing it to deliberatly put filth in your house. The language, yes... thats not nice. But ya cant control other people. The only thing to be done is to block the incoming data. I understand you didnt yell at anyone. Thats good. I dont think you have that right. You simply can tell them the situation and ask them to deal with it.[/quote]

I most definitely do not agree. IF IT COMES IN TO MY HOME IT IS A HOME INVAISION. If people who did porn popups were down the street, I would probably be in jail. It has come up on my kids before and I do not take it as lightly as you. It is a violation of my home for her to send carp to my home. It violates me and the enviroment I try to raise my kids in. In Ezekiel the lord warns those who do not speak out that they are guilty for the souls of those they do not warn. I may not change her today but when I say what I have to say, 10 years down the road when she's been used by a dozen men she may say, "He was right". She's gonna have some hard lessons to learn in life.

[thessalonian]

As for my son, some of you have commented that he may not be completely innocent. I don't know. I am not the type of parrent who assumes he is. In this case I do think he is but if it is found out otherwise I have no problem with hanging him out on the closeline to dry for a few hours. He's watched. That's why this whole thing blew up.

[journeyman]

you could welcome the young lady as a regular guest into your home (subject to your rules, of course), provide a warm, loving, Catholic home example for her, and potentially avoid that picture of 10 years down the road by positive intervention