Interfaith dating

[avemaria40]

I was kind of curious to what u guyz think about it. I'm against it, b/c i want someone who's strong in the Faith, though, ironically, lately i find myself attracted to non Christian guys.

[toledo_jesus]

I am not a fan of it now, but I dated a Baptist girl years ago. I date a Catholic now, and it's much better. What's even better is that she's the same girl. Conversion is awesome.

[blovedwolfofgod]

Well, if you get down to it, tho we are all christian(if its in regards to christian dating), in some ways we are mutually exclusive, such as the whole, we are idolaters to them cause we adore the Eucharist.

I have seen good girls and good guys get dragged down by non christians they date. its horrible. be aware of the risk

i personally am dating a protestant, who isnt that strong in her faith but also wont look into mine. it can be tense a lot of the time.

So, while im not against it, there are complications... and you personally must have a strong faith life in order to deal with them. because the only one you have to lean on in the relationship is Jesus.

[zabbazooey]

I dated a guy who was against Christianity man that was a messy breakup

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='avemaria40' date='Nov 5 2005, 06:19 PM']I was kind of curious to what u guyz think about it.  I'm against it, b/c i want someone who's strong in the Faith, though, ironically, lately i find myself attracted to non Christian guys.
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Ever since I came back into the Church I haven't had a proper boyfriend, because I've made a decision not to date outside my faith. Of course, I'm open to the Holy Spirit and wherever He might lead me. But I would love to marry a man who shares my faith. I want a man who I can go to Adoration with, and pray the Rosary. I want to have a family that prays together.

I want a man I can submit to. He has to be worthy of my obedience, because I'm not going to give myself away to just anyone. I don't want to get into a covenant marriage with a man who doesn't understand what it means to love... It's impossible to know love without knowing God, and the best way to know God is in the Catholic Church

[quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Nov 5 2005, 06:31 PM']I am not a fan of it now, but I dated a Baptist girl years ago.  I date a Catholic now, and it's much better.  What's even better is that she's the same girl.  Conversion is awesome.
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[Socrates]

I would say only "seriously" date Catholics, or at least those who show some promise of converting. I guess I'm not really as "hard-line" on this as I might be, because my mom was not yet Catholic when she married my dad (who had himself converted earlier). Personally, I myself have been looking in the orthodox Catholic market.
Conversions can and do happen, but we shouldn't count on them. If you date someone non-Catholic, I'd suggest that you early on discuss religion, and see if that person is open to conversion before "getting serious." If the person stays actively hostile to the Faith, break it off!
Being in a serious relationship or marriage with someone who does not share your Catholic Faith, and has hostile, opposing views can be disasterous! Remember, one of the points of marriage is to raise the children in the Faith.
For a Catholic, the Faith must be a serious thing, and not something to be disregarded or tossed aside for "love."

Avemaria, are do you just happen to find some guys attractive who happen to be non-Christian, or do you specifically find something about their non-Christian ways attractive? If the latter is the case, this fact in itself shows a problem.
I'd say at the very least date a commited Christian, rather than someone opposed to the idea of worshipping Christ.
Don't make a dumb decision just based on hormones. Remember, we attractive Christian/Catholic men are out there - you just might have to look a little harder.

Edited November 6, 2005 by Socrates

[sweetpea316]

[quote name='toledo_jesus' date='Nov 5 2005, 06:31 PM']I am not a fan of it now, but I dated a Baptist girl years ago.  I date a Catholic now, and it's much better.  What's even better is that she's the same girl.  Conversion is awesome.
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I'm so glad though that there are Catholic guys who are willing to take a chance on us girls who were raised Protestant...

Conversion [b]is[/b] awesome... I can't wait till I finally join the Church.

[Sojourner]

One of my closest friends (who is a Christian) has been dating a non-Christian guy for more than a year now. He's a fantastic guy, and perfect fit for her in many, many ways ... but he doesn't love Jesus. While he deeply respects her faith, he doesn't have any himself, and I know that's been a strain on their relationship, at least from her perspective. If they marry and have kids, it'll be an even bigger strain on them. For me, the biggest struggle would be maintaining my convictions and not compromising on things I think are important. Interfaith dating can lead to very good things, but it can also lead to a lot of heartache. But then, that's true of just about any relationship ...

Realisitcally, I don't think you can rule out dating non-Christians as an option. It's not ideal, definitely, but there just are not oodles of suitable Catholic/Christian men in Mass on Sundays. Faith is definitely high on my list of qualities I want in a man, but it's not the only thing, by any means.

[Socrates]

[quote name='Sojourner' date='Nov 5 2005, 11:39 PM']Realisitcally, I don't think you can rule out dating non-Christians as an option. It's not ideal, definitely, but there just are not oodles of suitable Catholic/Christian men in Mass on Sundays. Faith is definitely high on my list of qualities I want in a man, but it's not the only thing, by any means.
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How high a priority do you place on your Catholic Faith?
Of course, I have no idea about your parish or anything, but as a Catholic single man, I often wonder about ladies who say "there's no good Catholic men out there." I think a lot of us are just overlooked by Catholic females who put their priorities in the wrong places.

Do you consider your Catholic Faith to be the most important thing in life, or just one of many "qualities"?
Do you (addressing the ladies generically here) overlook good Catholic men in favor of non-Christian types you consider "sexier"?

Edited November 6, 2005 by Socrates

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Sojourner' date='Nov 5 2005, 11:39 PM']there just are not oodles of suitable Catholic/Christian men in Mass on Sundays.
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no, there sure aren't. and if they are, they don't stay afterwards!!!

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 6 2005, 12:15 AM']How high a priority do you place on your Catholic Faith?
Of course, I have no idea about your parish or anything, but as a Catholic single man, I often wonder about ladies who say "there's no good Catholic men out there."  I think a lot of us are just overlooked by Catholic females who put their priorities in the wrong places.

Do you consider your Catholic Faith to be the most important thing in life, or just one of many "qualities"?
Do you (addressing the ladies generically here) overlook good Catholic men in favor of non-Christian types you consider "sexier"?
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I place a high priority on my faith. But I'm not going to date or marry someone just because he's Catholic and single. If I were willing to marry just anyone who was single and shared my faith, I could've been married years ago. Plus, I see many Catholic single guys who don't take their faith seriously at all. I'd much prefer a serious Protestant to a faithless Catholic.

Aside from sharing faith, though, other qualities are also important. Intelligence, sense of humor, maturity, compassion, patience, curiosity ... I just think there's a lot more to being equally yoked than simply walking in the same direction.

[son_of_angels]

Actually, its the number of heterodox/uncommitted Catholic WOMEN that is rising, not men.

But, anyway, I don't think, indeed, that one should date outside of the Catholic Church. Be friends, have fun, hang out, have good discussions, but searching for a long term marriage relationship (which should be the only reason for romantic involvement) should only take place with someone who you actually COULD marry. This would mean no dating someone who was absolutely unwilling to convert.

While "conversion by dating" sometimes does happen, I've also seen such things fail. Eventually the conversion and faith get attached to the romantic relationship. When the relationship ends, there goes the faith. There's also the fact that converting to Catholicism requires more work than converting out of it, so you better be ready for the long haul as far as such relationships go.

Happy Sunday!

[Jaime]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 6 2005, 12:15 AM']How high a priority do you place on your Catholic Faith?
Of course, I have no idea about your parish or anything, but as a Catholic single man, I often wonder about ladies who say "there's no good Catholic men out there."  I think a lot of us are just overlooked by Catholic females who put their priorities in the wrong places.

Do you consider your Catholic Faith to be the most important thing in life, or just one of many "qualities"?
Do you (addressing the ladies generically here) overlook good Catholic men in favor of non-Christian types you consider "sexier"?
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My stepmother places her faith as her highest principle. Yet 25 years ago she married a non christian. 15 years ago he converted.

From personal experience, my opinion is there is nothing wrong with dating outside the faith.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 6 2005, 12:15 AM']but as a Catholic single man, I often wonder about ladies who say "there's no good Catholic men out there."  I think a lot of us are just overlooked by Catholic females who put their priorities in the wrong places.

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THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!
THANK YOU !!!

That and your previous remarks are right on the money and reflect my views exactly!

[robguitar]

I was raised Methodist and my wife is Catholic. Within a year of our son being born I went through the RCIA program and converted. I'm really glad I did and it has certainly made raising our children a lot easier.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='robguitar' date='Nov 6 2005, 05:34 PM']I was raised Methodist and my wife is Catholic. Within a year of our son being born I went through the RCIA program and converted. I'm really glad I did and it has certainly made raising our children a lot easier.
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Rob, that's great! Welcome to the church!

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Socrates' date='Nov 6 2005, 12:15 AM']Do you consider your Catholic Faith to be the most important thing in life, or just one of many "qualities"?
Do you (addressing the ladies generically here) overlook good Catholic men in favor of non-Christian types you consider "sexier"?
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1. of course it's the most important thing in life!
2. nope! but then again, i don't date non-Christian men.

-see my "guys with marian devotion are hott" thread

[quote name='son_of_angels' date='Nov 6 2005, 10:47 AM']Actually, its the number of heterodox/uncommitted Catholic WOMEN that is rising, not men. 
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where'd you get that statistic?

[Sojourner]

One quick observation/reflection.

As I've given this some thought, I realize it's not fair of me to blame my lackluster dating life on the paucity of eligible men in Mass. I'm a firm believer in applying personal responsibility where it's due, and frankly I've made the choice to pursue other things than marriage. If I'd made that pursuit the end all and be all of my life, I'm sure I'd be toting little Johnny on my hip right now and telling Susie to brush her teeth and get into her pajamas. Instead, I've chosen a different path.

Of course, now that I'm actually ready to settle, I find that my choices up to this point have seriously limited the available field from which to choose. At the same time, I've found my standards are now higher than ever. That's not the fault of those left in the field ... it's more a product of who I've become. I know myself better, which means better knowing what I want. And all in all, that's not a bad thing.

[avemaria40]

I would find a nice Catholic guy to date, but I'm discerning so I don't think I'll date for awhile, and the sad thing is I don't find a lot of strong Catholic guys. One I do know who is a strong Catholic is only a friend, I would date him if we were attracted to each other, and if I wasnt' discerning, and the guys I end up attracted to, ironically, are Jewish, atheist, or agnostic, or they're Catholic, but not that strong in the Faith, so I wouldn't date them, not trying to be mean, but I'm trying to get stronger in the Faith, and I don't want to have another obstacle in my way. Also, it's annoying, b/c there are those who will occasionally give me a hard time about the Catholic Church, and even if i really liked the guy, i couldn't date him if he's going to criticize my religion all the time .

Edited November 7, 2005 by avemaria40

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='avemaria40' date='Nov 6 2005, 09:40 PM']I would find a nice Catholic guy to date, but I'm discerning so I don't think I'll date for awhile, and the sad thing is I don't find a lot of strong Catholic guys.  One I do know who is a strong Catholic is only a friend, I would date him if we were attracted to each other, and if I wasnt' discerning, and the guys I end up attracted to, ironically, are Jewish, atheist, or agnostic, or they're Catholic, but not that strong in the Faith, so I wouldn't date them, not trying to be mean, but I'm trying to get stronger in the Faith, and I don't want to have another obstacle in my way.  Also, it's annoying, b/c there are those who will occasionally give me a hard time about the Catholic Church, and even if i really liked the guy, i couldn't date him if he's going to criticize my religion all the time  .
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how seriously are you discerning religious life? There's a difference between between merely being open to where the Holy Spirit leads, and visiting communities, telling your parents + friends that you're called to religious life, and talking to vocation directresses.

You are young, give it time! I know I hear this all the time from people, since I am young too. Sometimes we spend so much time thinking about the future, that we don't focus on living a life of virtue in the present.

Also, remember... if a dating relationship isn't helping you grow in holiness and virtue, it can't be good.