Interfaith dating

[Proud2BCatholic139]

If I dated a Christian, non-catholic, who was religious, and who would convert to Catholicism, I'm all up for it. But, if not, it would be extremely hard.

[dspen2005]

it's a negative... even more, the Church still prefers that Her children not marry outside of the Faith -- contrary to common belief.

[Sinner]

After 18 yrs of Marriage I can safely say that were it not for sharing the same Faith, we would probably not be together to this day. When the caca hits the fan...... and it willl; a shared Faith, even though not mature or particularly strong can be the only thread that binds. To count on a conversion of a spouse at a later time is .......... well, ludicrous.

[scardella]

Why does it seem like more women who are into their faith seem more willing to date lax/nonCatholics than guys who are into their faith?

Anyway, I'd love to date/marry a good Catholic girl. I think that I'd have a hard time dating a non-Catholic unless she were on the cusp of converting. If for no other reason, it would be because I would feel like we wouldn't be providing a consistent message to our children in raising them Catholic if I were Catholic and she were <insert something else here>.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Sinner' date='Nov 7 2005, 10:53 PM']After 18 yrs of Marriage I can safely say that were it not for sharing the same Faith, we would probably not be together to this day.  When the caca hits the fan...... and it willl; a shared Faith, even though not mature or particularly strong can be the only thread that binds.  To count on a conversion of a spouse at a later time is .......... well, ludicrous.
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this is very true... a lot of my friends who are dating outside their faith simply say, "It's not an issue in our relationship. We appreciate each other's religion, and agree to disagree." But at some point, it eventually becomes an issue... it's better to deal with it BEFORE you make a commitment to be with that person for the rest of your life.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='scardella' date='Nov 7 2005, 11:51 PM']Why does it seem like more women who are into their faith seem more willing to date lax/nonCatholics than guys who are into their faith?
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I think a lot of that depends on what you've been exposed to.

[tojo]

When I was Protestant, I was taught and firmly believed that it was decided;y wrong to date someone you shouldn't marry, and that we shouldn't date anyone whose various doctrinal views and moral standards weren't very similar to ours (translation: better hope there's someone for you in your local congregation). I wouldn't have dated a Catholic then. Or an Orthodox, Episcopalian, or Lutheran. And it was doubtful I'd ever date a Presbyterian or a Methodist. Basically, any pedobaptists (baby baptizers) were off my list. Goodness, most Baptists and Pentecostals wouldn't have made my cut either.

Anyways, now I cannot imagine dating anyone who isn't seriously, faithfully Catholic. God may direct some people to date other sorts of Christians, it's not forbidden, but it makes me uncomfortable.....


And btw, I know a lot of great Catholic guys, and very few of them have girlfriends, there's no justice in the dating world.

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='tomasio127' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:00 AM']And btw, I know a lot of great Catholic guys, and very few of them have girlfriends, there's no justice in the dating world.
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Most of the great Catholic guys around here are discerning the priesthood... and that's great! we need more priests!

but the older you get the smaller the dating pool gets. About 5 of my friends are already engaged, and a lot of them have already gotten married, and most of us are fresh out of college (well, except me--i finish college in 5 weeks).

[tojo]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:18 AM']Most of the great Catholic guys around here are discerning the priesthood...  and that's great!  we need more priests!

but the older you get the smaller the dating pool gets.    About 5 of my friends are already engaged, and a lot of them have already gotten married, and most of us are fresh out of college (well, except me--i finish college in 5 weeks).
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True, age is a factor. The guys I'm referring to are in college now. That's why I know them... since I am too.

[scardella]

[quote name='tomasio127' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:00 AM']When I was Protestant, I was taught and firmly believed that it was decided;y wrong to date someone you shouldn't marry.
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Isn't it still true that you really shouldn't be dating someone seriously that you [b]know[/b] wouldn't be a possible marriage candidate?

[scardella]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:18 AM']Most of the great Catholic guys around here are discerning the priesthood...  and that's great!  we need more priests!

but the older you get the smaller the dating pool gets.    About 5 of my friends are already engaged, and a lot of them have already gotten married, and most of us are fresh out of college (well, except me--i finish college in 5 weeks).
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Yeah, I know what you mean... I've got lots of friends who are engaged/married/having their first kids... It's jarring when you see someone younger than you get married...

[tojo]

[quote name='scardella' date='Nov 8 2005, 02:25 PM']Isn't it still true that you really shouldn't be dating someone seriously that you [b]know[/b] wouldn't be a possible marriage candidate?
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I know I still think so. I'd go as far to say it's wrong to date someone casually who you know you wouldn't marry, because then you're just using the person, imo.

[Lil Red]

gah!

my husband is not Catholic, but more often than not, he's more Christian, more Catholic (without realizing it, heehee) than many "Christians" i know.

st. monica is one of my role-models. do i fully expect that someday he will convert? of course, i have faith that he will.

he told me that he wants our children to be reared Catholic (not that he really has a choice, but it's nice to know he supports it), wants our children to have the faith that he never has. (but i expect that someday he will)

was i looking for an agnostic man to marry? not really. but God has a funny way of taking the plans that you make and tossing them out the window. i am to bring my husband to holiness, that is part of my vocation as his wife.

[tojo]

Obviously then he wasn't someone you wouldn't marry. I'm glad things are working out so well for you.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='scardella' date='Nov 8 2005, 02:28 PM']Yeah, I know what you mean... I've got lots of friends who are engaged/married/having their first kids... It's jarring when you see someone younger than you get married...
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But didn't you know that is the wrong reason to get married and that we all need to be resigned to the fact that we'll all be 80-year olds eating cat food for Thanksgiving dinner and if we don't like that scenario we should all check into therapy for the rest of our lives to learn how to like it????

At least that's what the snotheads from the affluent sanitized suburban subdivisions pushing the lesbo-feminazi heresy have been saying....

Seriously, yeah it's jarring.

[quote name='tomasio127' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:00 AM']And btw, I know a lot of great Catholic guys, and very few of them have girlfriends, there's no justice in the dating world.
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Tell me about it! And it seems like the Catholic dating world is more cutthroat than the secular (of course, that could be because I expect more from my fellow Catholics and so take backstabbing from them more personally).

But I look at it this way: I may not get justice in this world, so I'll look forward to getting it in the next.

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 8 2005, 01:18 AM']but the older you get the smaller the dating pool gets.     About 5 of my friends are already engaged, and a lot of them have already gotten married, and most of us are fresh out of college (well, except me--i finish college in 5 weeks).
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True. And the difficulty is compounded by the fact that as you get older you start suppressing your feelings and after a while you just don't know anything else except for being alone. And the people who live in a John Hughes fantasy world like pushing the notion that it will come to you when you least expect it - well, WHAT GOOD DOES THAT DO IF YOU'VE THROWN IN THE TOWEL?

And then you have the people who say "oh, you've got all the time in the world" and then when you get into your upper thirties you start hearing "why did you wait so long?" (BECAUSE I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO STUPID JERKS LIKE YOU - DUH! LOOK IN THE MIRROR!) as well as the people who come across like they have a private knowledge of what God has planned for everyone else's lives (let's take this opportunity to review the definition of religious cult) and if we dare express a desire for marriage we're automatically second-guessed and made to feel like we're going against God's plan for our lives (I wonder if these know-it-alls think I should go to confession whenever I take the local lanes instead of the express).

[MichaelFilo]

Funny, at the Latin Mass there was a small booklet that stated some things that shouldn't happen. Marrying outside of your Faith was listed. Funny, I think. It was one of those 1962 missalets (sp?). I happen to agree though, marry a heretic or heathen, and you've already set up a nice pair of kids who are lost. Anyways, whatever you marry, it (he/she) better agree to raise those kids Catholic.

Oh, and the amount of Catholic-Catholic marriages is disgustingly low.
But thats what you get when you drop the High Church view for a more down to earth one.

[Mrvoll]

I plan to do it and i plan to convert the lucky lady.

[MichaelFilo]

Then Paul has some advice for you:

"If the unbeliever seperates, however, let him separate. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases; God has called you to peace.[b] Fow how do you know, wife, whether youwill save yoru husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife[/b]." (1 Cor 7:15-16)

Too bad Catholics seem to disregard this quite a bit when choosing their spouses.

God bless,
Mikey

[Norseman82]

[quote name='MichaelFilo' date='Nov 9 2005, 07:15 PM']Then Paul has some advice for you:

"If the unbeliever seperates, however, let him separate. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases; God has called you to peace.[b] Fow how do you know, wife, whether youwill save yoru husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife[/b]." (1 Cor 7:15-16)

Too bad Catholics seem to disregard this quite a bit when choosing their spouses.

God bless,
Mikey
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Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, let's analyze this.

This whole section of 1 Corinthians refers to the Pauline Privilege, which basically states that if two non-believers marry, and one converts, and the other cannot handle the conversion and so files for divorce, then the believer is free to remarry.

Also, let's not forget 2 Corinthians 6:14, where Paul says to not be unequally yoked with nonbelievers.

That's what the bible says.

Now, the Cathechism. I'll summarize:

CCC 1637 recognizes that a Catholic can lead a non-baptized person to convert. However, the preceding paragraphs outline the difficulties:

CCC 1634: acknowledges that in a mixed marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian can learn from each other, but that there are difficulties and the differences in belief can cause tension and lead to teh temptation of religious indifference.

CCC 1635: mixed marriages (whether either to a non-Catholic Christian or a non-Christian) require permission and/or dispension of an ecclesiastical authority.

CCC 1636: refers to ecunemical efforts for pastoral practices, one of which is to help overcome tensions in mixed marriages.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='MichaelFilo' date='Nov 9 2005, 04:01 PM']Funny, at the Latin Mass there was a small booklet that stated some things that shouldn't happen. Marrying outside of your Faith was listed. Funny, I think. It was one of those 1962 missalets (sp?). I happen to agree though, marry a heretic or heathen, and you've already set up a nice pair of kids who are lost. Anyways, whatever you marry, it (he/she) better agree to raise those kids Catholic.

Oh, and the amount of Catholic-Catholic marriages is disgustingly low.
But thats what you get when you drop the High Church view for a more down to earth one.
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Interesting.
My catholic grandmother married a protestant and he converted [ in 1910]
my mother married a protestant and he converted [in 1937],
my uncles married protestants and they converted....
and that was back in your "high Church era"
Marrying in the faith is an ideal, not a requirement.