Went to a talk last night...

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[i]Note: the following are general trends and do not necessarily reflect each individual case.[/i]

These were the thoughts of Dr. Flannick, professor of psychology at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, in my words.

1. Eye Contact

When men speak, they often do not look into the eyes of the person to whom they are speaking (or listening, for that matter). This is because eye contact is an intimate thing and it is more difficult for guys to look into eyes and pay attention to what is being discussed. It actually helps men to focus better if they're looking away from one another or toward the ground. This is why men will often walk and talk, next to one another, or can associate at football games sitting next to each other, watching the game, and never once making eye contact.

Women, however, feel the need to make eye contact in order to establish that both parties are keeping attention and that they are keeping a relationship going in the discussion.

2. Head Nodding

When men nod their heads, it means that they agree.

When women nod their heads, it means that they hear you. This often confuses men, because they think women are agreeing.

3. Use of Language

Men use language in a more utilitarian fashion.

Women use language to engage in relationships.

This is why very often women will speak to a man and eventually there will be a lull in the conversation. A point has been reached where a man has nothing more to say. Because he uses language as need arises, once a need has been taken care of, he stops talking (or writing). A woman, however, uses language for leisure and relationship building, and interprets the lull in conversation as a sort of rejection.

Additionally, men tend to bring their own things into speech.

Women tend to continue along one line of discussion.

The example given to us was this: a boy and a girl have birthdays and come to school the next day with their presents. A boy says, "look at my firetruck" and a girl responds, "cool. How fast does it go? How many wheels does it have? How big is it? Does it make sounds?"

However, a girl would say, "look at my new doll" and a boy woud respond, "look at my new firetruck."

This is why women need girlfriends...a man cannot be your girlfriend...don't expect him to be...he's not wired that way. He won't talk to you the same way.

4. Reactions to News

Men are action oriented. When confronted with a problem from their wives, they immediately want to go fix it.

Women are more talk-oriented. They don't want the husband to fix it right away...they want him to listen.

The man, however, is ready to burst because he's naturally action-oriented...you can't just plop something in his hands and expect him to sit there and talk about it...he wants to use it and work with it.

5. Displays of Affection

Men show their love primarily by doing things and giving gifts. They don't always recognize the simple fact that love can be communicated by talking and by looks and by touches. A woman can spend hours talking to a man about marriage and children and he'll go, "do you love me?"

6. Forms of Love

Men tend to require love in the form of respect. Want a guy to like you and appreciate you? Respect him...show him that you believe in him, that you expect him to be the leader, and that you honor his place and his nature as a man.

Women tend to require love in the form of devotion...affection, fidelity, etc.

7. Crying

Men cry when they're sad, when their touched...and on occasion, when they're frustrated.

Women cry when they're sad, touched, or ticked off.

Anyone care to add to this or expound on it?

[photosynthesis]

men are weird :

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 10 2005, 07:54 PM']men are weird :
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At least I don't need chocolate and Ever After once a month to keep going...

[photosynthesis]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Nov 10 2005, 06:56 PM']At least I don't need chocolate and Ever After once a month to keep going...
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OK, well chocolate I would understand... everyone needs chocolate...but Ever After??? once a month??? I've never heard of this tradition... does it correspond with a woman's menstrual periods?

and I could kick your butt at Halo!

[philothea]

Sound like very good summaries. (Obviously, as you said, in general.)

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 10 2005, 08:05 PM']OK, well chocolate I would understand...  everyone needs chocolate...but Ever After???  once a month???  I've never heard of this tradition...  does it correspond with a woman's menstrual periods?

and I could kick your butt at Halo!
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It's a stereotype, but one most women laugh about because it's in the ballpark.

I've creeped out a large number of women with how much I know that they don't think men know.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

No one else is interested by this?

[cmotherofpirl]

The book [i]Men are from Mars Women are from Venus[/i] covers this topic thoroughly. I think it should be required reading before dating.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Nov 10 2005, 09:53 PM']The book [i]Men are from Mars  Women are from Venus[/i] covers this topic thoroughly. I think it should be required reading before dating.
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Homer: Oh, sure, Marge, give me the one with all the monsters!

I don't know about required reading before dating, but I'd say that dating should be approached with a lot of patience and understanding.

I also think that couples should explore these differences themselves.

[Old_Joe]

It's so true!!!

I wish my Psychology of gender class was like that. We just got learning abour Gay & lesbian relationships and sexuality. We also learned that except for a few things, men and women are very similar. Does that mean that gender characteristics are on a scale?

[shortnun]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Nov 10 2005, 07:50 PM']2.  Head Nodding

When men nod their heads, it means that they agree.

When women nod their heads, it means that they hear you.  This often confuses men, because they think women are agreeing.
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Soooooooooo true!

[Pio Nono]

JMJ
11/11 - St. Martin of Tours

I'd be interested in the epistemological differences between men and women...Josef Pieper discusses this in [i]Leisure: the Basis of Culture[/i], but I'd be interested in exploring more.

[dicallidra]

[quote name='photosynthesis' date='Nov 10 2005, 07:05 PM']
and I could kick your butt at Halo!
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I am the master of swords

[StatingTheObvious]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Nov 10 2005, 07:50 PM'][i]Note: the following are general trends and do not necessarily reflect each individual case.[/i]

2.  Head Nodding

When men nod their heads, it means that they agree.

When women nod their heads, it means that they hear you.  [u]This often confuses men, because they think women are agreeing.[/u]

Anyone care to add to this or expound on it?
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[/quote]okay. if a man get's confused at this, he can't pour pee out of a boot with directions on the bottom. a women never agrees with a man.

[toledo_jesus]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Nov 10 2005, 06:50 PM'][i]Note: the following are general trends and do not necessarily reflect each individual case.[/i]

These were the thoughts of Dr. Flannick, professor of psychology at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, in my words.

1.  Eye Contact

When men speak, they often do not look into the eyes of the person to whom they are speaking (or listening, for that matter).  This is because eye contact is an intimate thing and it is more difficult for guys to look into eyes and pay attention to what is being discussed.  It actually helps men to focus better if they're looking away from one another or toward the ground.  This is why men will often walk and talk, next to one another, or can associate at football games sitting next to each other, watching the game, and never once making eye contact.

Women, however, feel the need to make eye contact in order to establish that both parties are keeping attention and that they are keeping a relationship going in the discussion.

2.  Head Nodding

When men nod their heads, it means that they agree.

When women nod their heads, it means that they hear you.  This often confuses men, because they think women are agreeing.

3.  Use of Language

Men use language in a more utilitarian fashion.

Women use language to engage in relationships.

This is why very often women will speak to a man and eventually there will be a lull in the conversation.  A point has been reached where a man has nothing more to say.  Because he uses language as need arises, once a need has been taken care of, he stops talking (or writing).  A woman, however, uses language for leisure and relationship building, and interprets the lull in conversation as a sort of rejection.

Additionally, men tend to bring their own things into speech.

Women tend to continue along one line of discussion.

The example given to us was this:  a boy and a girl have birthdays and come to school the next day with their presents.  A boy says, "look at my firetruck" and a girl responds, "cool.  How fast does it go?  How many wheels does it have?  How big is it?  Does it make sounds?"

However, a girl would say, "look at my new doll" and a boy woud respond, "look at my new firetruck."

This is why women need girlfriends...a man cannot be your girlfriend...don't expect him to be...he's not wired that way.  He won't talk to you the same way.

4.  Reactions to News

Men are action oriented.  When confronted with a problem from their wives, they immediately want to go fix it.

Women are more talk-oriented.  They don't want the husband to fix it right away...they want him to listen.

The man, however, is ready to burst because he's naturally action-oriented...you can't just plop something in his hands and expect him to sit there and talk about it...he wants to use it and work with it.

5.  Displays of Affection

Men show their love primarily by doing things and giving gifts.  They don't always recognize the simple fact that love can be communicated by talking and by looks and by touches.  A woman can spend hours talking to a man about marriage and children and he'll go, "do you love me?"

6.  Forms of Love

Men tend to require love in the form of respect.  Want a guy to like you and appreciate you?  Respect him...show him that you believe in him, that you expect him to be the leader, and that you honor his place and his nature as a man.

Women tend to require love in the form of devotion...affection, fidelity, etc.

7.  Crying

Men cry when they're sad, when their touched...and on occasion, when they're frustrated.

Women cry when they're sad, touched, or ticked off.

Anyone care to add to this or expound on it?
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[/quote]

You've finally said something about men and women I agree with.

[zabbazooey]

This is scary because it's true!

[Deeds]

I'm a man then. Gosh, you'd think I would have realised after 21 years...

No seriously, I have the male characteristcs in all but possibly 4 and 6 (I wouldn't say I'm especially like the female in those either.)

That just goes to show we're all different and there are no universal characteristics for men or women.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='StatingTheObvious' date='Nov 12 2005, 08:44 AM']okay.  if a man get's confused at this, he can't pour pee out of a boot with directions on the bottom.  a women never agrees with a man.
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[/quote]
Jennie agrees with me on a lot.

[Old_Joe]

I'm a man, but I can change, If I have to, I guess.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Deeds' date='Nov 12 2005, 11:42 AM']I'm a man then. Gosh, you'd think I would have realised after 21 years...

No seriously, I have the male characteristcs in all but possibly 4 and 6 (I wouldn't say I'm especially like the female in those either.)

That just goes to show we're all different and there are no universal characteristics for men or women.
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I told you it was general. :

This was coming from a psychiatrist with 30 years' experience.