Funny scriptures

[Totus Tuus]

[quote name='VoloHumilisEsse' date='Nov 22 2005, 11:20 PM']anytime Jesus says "amen, amen i say to you......."

i always feel like he is saying "YO STUPID...LISTEN!!!"
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He was.

In my Bible, I highlighted all the Scripture passages following those words (amen, amen I say to you) because I came to learn that Jesus meant business when He said that).

Edited November 24, 2005 by Totus Tuus

[Fidei Defensor]

Revelation 2:13 - "I know where you live.."

[Church Punk]

A preist I know has a good story like this. When they were about to be ordained out of the seminary the took a class photo and they were trying to decided on a verse,

They asked one of the professor what he thought, so he simply wrote the book chapter and verse for them to look up.

When they finally looked it up, it was the verse of

"And then Jesus Wept"

LOL

[Old_Joe]

If only you would put up with a little foolishness from me! Please put up with me.
- 2 Corinthians 11:1-2

[homeschoolmom]

Back in the day when I wrote letters, I would PS with:

Galatians 6:11 See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand!

[Laudate_Dominum]

once I was praying evening prayer with a bunch of seminarian type dudes and there was a line in one of the psalms that nearly put me into a laughing fit.

That was embarassing.

[homeschoolmom]

[betinabean]

Jesus found an ass and sat upon it, as is written:
~ John 12:14

[Snarf]

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
(2 Kings 2:23-25)

[God Conquers]

[quote name='Snarf' date='Nov 28 2005, 08:48 PM']From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
(2 Kings 2:23-25)
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This is without a doubt the greatest of all time... oh how many people have laughed at my "serious scripture study".

[annie]

How about the time the disciples were running to the empty tomb, and John out runs Peter, (and of course defers to him to have him enter first) but does mention how he outruns him....

[beatty07]

Numbers 26:18-19 (best in NAB I think)

Like a madman hurling firebrands, arrows, and death
is he who deceives his neighbor and then says
"I was only joking."

[homeschoolmom]

That's in Proverbs. I use it all the time...

[beatty07]

thanks for the correction! oops.

[morostheos]

I once was in a Bible study where we focused on women of the Old Testament, specifically prostitutes. We adopted the slogan "Beware of spreading trees!" after their repeated references in the OT.

[quote]Isaiah 57:5
You burn with lust among the oaks and under every spreading tree; you sacrifice your children in the ravines and under the overhanging crags.[/quote]

[quote]Jeremiah 2:20
"Long ago you broke off your yoke and tore off your bonds; you said, 'I will not serve you!' Indeed, on every high hill and under every spreading tree you lay down as a prostitute.[/quote]

[quote]Jeremiah 3:6
[ Unfaithful Israel ] During the reign of King Josiah, the LORD said to me, "Have you seen what faithless Israel has done? She has gone up on every high hill and under every spreading tree and has committed adultery there.[/quote]

[BC4Life]

my bro and i always laughed at the beggining of readings that are like "aletter from st paul to the corinthians" and wed be like
Dear Corinthians,