Interfaith dating

[Tindomiel]

[quote name='kateri05' date='Mar 20 2006, 04:54 PM']re above post:

you can not go into a relationship, especially a marriage, with the purpose of converting them.

its fine if thats a byproduct but that can't be your reasons, because then you're going into to it trying to change the person.

those kinds of relationships are doomed to fail.
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No, I didn't mean to imply that it would be a good idea to marry someone with the purpose of converting them. I just meant that one should be open to the possibility that God might want you to marry this person and help him (or her) to heaven. That's not to say that I would recommend [i]marrying[/i] a non-Catholic, but I would think [i]dating[/i] them would be fine. Like I said, I know several people who owe their conversions to the influence of their girlfriends.

I don't consider such a relationship one in which one person is trying to [i]change[/i] the other per se, but one in which the one is trying to lead the other (good, intellectually honest) person to a complete union with the Truth as found in the Catholic Church.

I hope that's not too confusing.... I'm having a difficult time properly expressing my thoughts on this subject for some reason.

[Proud2BCatholic139]

I think with interfaith dating, it is interesting...

In my situation, I am attracted to someone with the same values, beleifs, and so forth. Generally, my ideal is to marry someone who is a strong Catholic if that is my vocation.

My standards are high yes, but, if I meet a person who is strong in his faith and who is willing to convert for the sake of our family before we get married, I will marry this person. That is also saying I am in love with a person. But, I don't know what the future holds, but, in the end, I think it is good to have some interfaith dating. Not dating someone completely opposite of you, but I feel as if they want to know more about the Catholic faith, and you two are attracted to each other, well, then I don't see why not.

But, I am skeptical on this issue, because like I said, I have high standards. I don't really date. It's hard when you don't have common ground with religion. Feelings don't last just on looks alone. Jesus needs to be the center.

[Guest EmBrAcELiFe]

i think that interfaith dating is a good idea, i am catholic and currently with an awesome baptist, having to explain my faith has made me have to know it better to start with and in turn has brought me closer in my faith, i do;t believe that it is a real issue for us right now and we have the chance to have heated discussions about what we believe and usually when its unresolved ... we are still Christians with similar goals in life and both have a strong relationship with God, i think the only grey area is the fact that someday you will bring up your children to one of the faiths , but until then i believe you can learn and grow in a relationship with person of another faith.

[kateri05]

but since the purpose of dating is seeking marriage then it HAS to be an issue in the present... how can you be in a relationship that is doomed to fail since as a Catholic you are unable to compromise on which faith your child is raised in?

[Proud2BCatholic139]

But what if the other person is considering converting to being a Roman Catholic.

[cmotherofpirl]

As a Catholic, your children must be brought up Catholic.
There are also fundamental differences between Catholic and baptist beliefs that cannot be reconciled.

[Guest Rick777]

Interfaith dating can be very dangerous to ones faith.

[Guest EmBrAcELiFe]

i understand what the purpose of dating is, but i believe that what is meant to happen will and if the holy spirit can bless your significant other or lead them into the Catholic church that would be great, and if not things may not work out and you can still remain friends with that person.

[kateri05]

but why be in a relationship that can't work out?

i think you could argue that such a situation would not really be loving someone, but just using them for pleasure while you can.

[jmj]

My two cents -

I'm currently dating a non-Catholic (he's baptized, but not Catholic). His thought train is much more Catholic than he realizes (until I point it out to him). We've talked about marriage and kids and I laid it all out on the table for him - no premarital sex, marriage in the Church, kiddies, raiding the kids Catholic, Mass, etc. I've been lucky in that he's 100% supportive of me and the Faith, and is down with everything that I've brought up to him. But there has been heavy, heavy prayer about this situation. And still is, for that matter.

If we do end up married, it'll be in almost 4 years (we're not even engaged, still learning about each other, etc). But I want to be as open and honest with him about my faith. It's #1 to me, and if he can't deal with it; then I'd cut him loose. And if he flakes out in the future, I'll cut him loose. I do get good practice explaining things to him and his family about the Church, though.

I did date an atheist in my earlier years (when I was investigating the Church but not in RCIA). Yeah. That was bad. I did a lot of sneaking to church and put up with a lot of carp.

I do think interfaith dating and marriages can work, but they're few and far between. Pray heavily, and don't let the standards fall. God will bring you to the right person if He wants you married.

[Deeds]

I'm going out with a non-Catholic. He was baptised Protestant but brought up in a non-religious family. He's very interested in Catholicism, he asks me questions quite a lot, looks at websites for information (hope he's not reading this!) and has expressed a desire to convert to Catholicism, all off his own bat - I've never tried to persuade him at all.

Many non-Catholics were brought up in non-religious families or have never had much exposure to Catholic teachings or other circumstances like that, so if you impose a blanket ban on dating non-Catholics, you're missing out on some wonderful people in that sector of the population. I'm not saying to consider dating people who are hostile to our religion or whose morals are incompatible with Catholicism, but be open-minded.

[prodigalson]

First and for most comes your own faith! Stake your life on it. My sister married and protestant and he has just converted and is one AWESOME catholic so there can be good fruits. If this is someone who you believe it is your vocation to marry you should have a LONG and direct conversation with them about what you expect of them, yourself and people in general. Dont jump right into dating either- that can confuse things and what most call "love"(passion) can become and major stumbling block. Remember that True Love is not a feeling or mindset that comes and goes! Love is! Prayer Life should be common among people dating married or courting- having children with someone who refuses to go to mass or engage in some sort of daily prayer is hard for children- its setting up a seperation style of parenting. St. Augustine says "Love... and do as you will!" Remember also that we are God's before anyone elses!

[dspen2005]

the Church still holds a preference for not marrying outside of the Catholic fullness. To do so can cause all sorts of problems and can even lead to apostasy, heresy, etc...

[Catholic Ninja]

My opinion on this matter is that I prefer Catholics mainly since I am one myself. This in my opinion would help the relationship becuase im not converting and she will have trouble seeing alot of my background. But as a minumum she would have to be Christian.

[simplemama]

i am married to a non catholic. i would reccomend that

YOU DO NOT DO THIS!

heartache, not sharing the sacraments, no sacramental marriage to the complete degree that you could have with a catholic. dont do it to yourself. go to ave maria singles for crying out loud if you cant find a good catholic in your area, but dont date the non catholics no matter how cute they are. all i can say is heartache

[avemaria40]

I don't think I should, especially since I'm still in high school and have only been a Catholic for almost 2 years, it wouldn't be a wise idea. I think that for now, i'm going to wait and concentrate on what God wants for me.