Interfaith marriage

[SJP]

Yesterday I was listening to a local radio show and the topic of discussion was interfaith marriage.

The host was of the opinion that interfaith marriages were a great thing His reasoning was something along the lines of "Hey we're all different, I'm ok you're ok, so the sooner we can teach our kids to be tolerant of different beliefs, the better"

Now I think there are a few major problems (to say the least) with such a theory. First of all, I don't think it's very likely that two devout people of different religions would be all that interested in marrying a person of another faith to begin with. It only makes sense that a devout Catholic would want a partner who shares the same beliefs about faith. The other major problem would be how to raise the children??? Mom believes this.... Dad believes that.... It seems to me like there would be a very real possibility that the children would grow up with a rather skeptical attitude towards faith all together (who do you believe?? what's the Truth??)

Now the part that really bothered me was that a Catholic priest was a guest on the show and he basically said that interfaith marriages between Christians could be worked out depending on how strong each couples beliefs were What is that??? He basically said, well as long as the catholic is not a real strong believer, things could work? Well no kidding, if your faith doesn't mean anything to begin with, I don't see it being a major obstacle

Does the Church have an official position on who can be married in a catholic church?
How can a marriage be a valid sacrament if one partner does not believe that marriage is a sacrament??

[cappie]

To be married in Catholic Church one of the parties has to be a baptised Catholic who is free to marry i.e not been validly married before.

The marriage between 2 baptised persons is a sacrament. The marriage between a baptised person and an un-baptised person e.g. a Hindu is not a sacrament but is called a natural bond.

[zabbazooey]

i don't think interfaith marriage/dating/whatever is a bad thing or something to be looked down upon

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='zabbazooey' post='1028080' date='Jul 21 2006, 12:10 AM']
i don't think interfaith marriage/dating/whatever is a bad thing or something to be looked down upon
[/quote]
I don't think it's necessarily bad, but if marriage is about sharing yourself completely, and you don't share your faith, then it doesn't say much for your faith. Now, it's different if you do try to bring the other person into the Church; then your faith is great, but it is because you are doing your best to share it, despite any difficulties.

[Lahecil]

[quote]The other major problem would be how to raise the children??? Mom believes this.... Dad believes that.... It seems to me like there would be a very real possibility that the children would grow up with a rather skeptical attitude towards faith all together (who do you believe?? what's the Truth??)[/quote]

Isn't it necessary for a Catholic to raise their children Catholic? If so, there's not much wiggle-room, and I guess someone's going to have to compromise. In the end though, it all comes down to what the child chooses when they get older...it's not always what they were raised as.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Lahecil' post='1028150' date='Jul 21 2006, 08:26 AM']
Isn't it necessary for a Catholic to raise their children Catholic? If so, there's not much wiggle-room, and I guess someone's going to have to compromise. In the end though, it all comes down to what the child chooses when they get older...it's not always what they were raised as.
[/quote]
Yes, the children must be raised Catholic. There really wouldn't be a compromise.

As for waiting for the child to make a choice, that's just a silly notion from modern society. Children must also be religious and are entirely capable of having a spiritual life. Do they have the ability to choose what faith they want to be? Yes. Should we encourage and foster that as some sort of rite of passage? No. We should raise children Catholic, expect them to stay Catholic, and fight to keep them Catholic.

[thessalonian]

Coming from a perspective of experience, interfaith marriages can be VERY difficult. I do not recommend them as it is a severe test to your faith. Thankfully God in his mercy brought my wife in to the fullness of the truth.

As for it being a sacrament if one believer does not think so, generally it can be said that as long as the person desires what Christ desired for his Church, though they may be in error as to what that is, the sacrament is valid. I.e. baptisms of baptists who think the baptism is only symbolic but want to do as Christ intended are recognized by the Church.

Blessings

[avemaria40]

My aunt is not Catholic but my uncle is and she is very cool with raising their two daughters Catholic. She always encourages me in my faith and is one of my godmothers (i have 2 godmothers and a godfather)

Also, I'm not against it because I've seen people convert to Catholicism because they have spouses who are devoutly Catholic. Sometimes marriage is the only exposure people get to Catholicism. St. Monica prayed 20 years for her husband and son, her husband converted and her son became a saint, so I guess it depends on the couple.

[Norseman82]

I also see going outside the Catholic Church to marry as turning your back on your own kind.

[Franimus]

I obviously didn't hear the show itself, but it sounds to me like you could be misinterpreting what the priest said, by what you told us. I'm not sure if when you said "He basically said ..." you were interpreting the quote in the previous sentance, or if you were interpreting other things he said which you did not type out.

Quite frankly, I'd say as long as the non-Catholic isn't a strong believer in his/her own faith it could work, as, as stated in examples given above, it likely results in the conversion of the non-Catholic (if the Catholic is strong).

[SJP]

In speaking about something as important as marriage, I would have expected the priest to say:

"If you are a member of the Catholic Church, you are called to be a devout member, not a lukewarm, cafeteria catholic. Therefore, interfaith marriage could be extremely difficult (though not impossible) if you and your spouse do not share common beliefs"

The host of the show (and no doubt many listeners) were not left with the above impression. I would have liked for there to have been greater emphasis on the potential problems of interfaith marriage. Potential difficulties were never mentioned by the priest and I think that it would have been responsible on his part to have mentioned a few.

Thanks for your response cappie.

[Birgitta Noel]

I just want to note that even if you are both Catholic that marriages can be difficult when one spouse is not as devout, committed, or orthodox as the other. So, you don't have to have an interfaith marriage to have these problems!

Thankfully once you're married you have the extra (often sacramental) grace to help you work things out.

[misereremi]

In my experience interfaith marriage is VERY difficult. I know what you're saying, SJP. The Church certainly did not make it easy for my husband and I to get married. We had several one to ones with priests wherein we were given clear warnings and instruction on the raising of children and other matters, and he had to agree to the conditions before we were granted a dispensation to be married from the archbishop. We still receive advice and guidance from priests. Our priests are gold to me, they are really there for us.

I agree with Thessalonian, it is a big test to my faith and I have more of a responsibility towards my children than I would have had if marreied to a devout Catholic.

I think it would not have worked out so far had my husband not been so open and respectful of the Church. And good point, the Little Way...I've actually seen worse problems in some Catholic marriages than I have experienced so far.

[HollyDolly]

My dad grew up in a mixed faith home. His father was Bavarian Catholic and his mother Prussian Lutheran.Grandma agreed any children of the marriage would be raised Catholic.
My dad was an altar boy at St.John's in Hot Springs,Ark.in the twenties and thirties,and he and Uncle Tom went to school there.My great grandmother paid the bill for school,which also had a lot of rich protestant kids going there for the education as well. Grandma's family weren't real devote Lutherans,and I don't recall him saying anything about her ever going seperately to church.It seems she always went to mass with them. Grandma later did joined the Catholic Church.
My sister's boy friend Ross has a Polish Catholic brother-in-law.Paul is married to Ross's sister Stacy
and their family is Jewish. Paul and Stacy don't have any kids, but the families do get together for Jewish and Catholic holidays like Christmas and Easter. My sister has been to temple for a family bar mitzvah,and done Hannakuah and Passover with Ross and his family,and Ross has done Christmas and such with us,so it can work out.

[ruso]

Although lie seem, can function, the Church does not prohibit these marriages.
I have a friend Episcopalian of NY married in Spain with a Catholic woman, the priest caused he signed that renounced to educate its children of this marriage in the faith episcopalian, I do not know if the Church continues doing this or if was a remote fact.