Why can't I find a good man?

[annabelle87]

So I met this amazing guy last November and we started dating in January...he's 23, grad student, Catholic, doesn't party, values family, respects me, respects my family...wow amazing right? I felt so blessed...I found the kind of person I've always prayed about.

He broke up with me a few weeks ago for stupid reasons. I was/am dumbfounded. My parents even liked him and thought we would get married.

I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it!

I'm sorry don't mean to sound like a pathetic case but I just needed to vent

[Ash Wednesday]

I used to get pretty bummed about not being able to find the right guy, but then I just decided to enjoy being single and living my own life one day at a time. Being open to meeting people and all that, but just not losing sleep over it. If it's in your calling to be married, you have plenty of time. I didn't even have a first boyfriend until I was 23!

In the end, it is fortunate that at least he was honest and straightforward about the fact that he no longer wanted to date you. To do otherwise would have been doing you a great disservice. It would have been worse if he would have just tried to stuff it down inside of him -- like being in denial or being afraid of hurting your feelings, thus creating a situation where it was drawn out long enough that you would have been even more attached to him than you were now.

Anyway may God bless and heal your broken heart!

Edited August 26, 2006 by Ash Wednesday

[God the Father]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 07:41 PM']
doesn't party,
[/quote]

Square? I mean come on, everybody needs to throw down once in a while, even if it's just a trip to the putt-putt links.

[uruviel]

aww, I'm very sorry you had to go through this. But remember, God wouldn't give you anything you couldn't handle, with His help that is. He has a plan for you, perhaps you needed to have a challenge, we don't know His reasons. the best thing we can do is trust in Him, complete, and utter trust. God Bless you!!

[Tindomiel]

[quote name='God the Father' post='1051174' date='Aug 26 2006, 08:38 PM']
Square? I mean come on, everybody needs to throw down once in a while, even if it's just a trip to the putt-putt links.
[/quote]

[Tarcisius]

Try meeting some trad men....you'll be married in 6 months.

[God the Father]

[quote name='Tindomiel' post='1051201' date='Aug 26 2006, 09:29 PM']

[/quote]

Fish Poke?

[Tindomiel]

[let_go_let_God]

I understand that you are going through a tough time going through a bad break up after being so close. God through time will heal all wounds. As stupid as it may sound it is sounds it is true. I had completely given up on men and thought that my vocation was to be part of the single laiety, now I am engaged. Please know that God does have a plan for you, irreguardless of how distant it may seem. You have my prayers.

God bless-
LGLG

[desertwoman]

I feel ya homie. I feel ya. Sometimes it makes you wanna just be single for the rest of your life cause you are afraid that no one is the right one for you, or something is wrong with you.

I feel that way all the time because of all of the false ones coming around. Sometimes I get content with being alone, but then fear sets in. And I have to remember that God will provide.

Let God provide, and let go and let God do what he wills m6y friend.

[annabelle87]

[quote name='God the Father' post='1051174' date='Aug 26 2006, 08:38 PM']
Square? I mean come on, everybody needs to throw down once in a while, even if it's just a trip to the putt-putt links.
[/quote]

I guess my definition of "party" is heavy binge drinking every weekend

[missionarybelle]

I think one of the reasons I'm so unwilling to give my heart away is that I don't want to get hurt. Ahhh hearts are such fickle things.

[heavenseeker]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 06:41 PM']
So I met this amazing guy last November and we started dating in January...he's 23, grad student, Catholic, doesn't party, values family, respects me, respects my family...wow amazing right? I felt so blessed...I found the kind of person I've always prayed about.

He broke up with me a few weeks ago for stupid reasons. I was/am dumbfounded. My parents even liked him and thought we would get married.

I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it!

I'm sorry don't mean to sound like a pathetic case but I just needed to vent
[/quote]

ouch. that must really stink. wish i could say something to help but i have nothing.
i guess its better to have loved and to have been loved than to have never have loved or been loved at all.

[Ash Wednesday]

Remember that St. Raphael is good to pray to about seeking a spouse.

If nothing else, I have a funny story that might help cheer you up -- and it's a true story I read published in some Catholic book or magazine I read somewhere...

Anyway -- this woman used to pray to St. Anthony asking him to help her find a spouse. She had a statue of St. Anthony in her home she'd pray to daily and everything. One day she got fed up and threw the statue out of the window.

A few minutes later a man knocked on her door to return the statue to her -- it had flown out the window and hit him on the head. I believe it was within a year they were married.

[Norseman82]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' post='1051451' date='Aug 27 2006, 01:32 AM']
If nothing else, I have a funny story that might help cheer you up -- and it's a true story I read published in some Catholic book or magazine I read somewhere...

Anyway -- this woman used to pray to St. Anthony asking him to help her find a spouse. She had a statue of St. Anthony in her home she'd pray to daily and everything. One day she got fed up and threw the statue out of the window.

A few minutes later a man knocked on her door to return the statue to her -- it had flown out the window and hit him on the head. I believe it was within a year they were married.


[/quote]



Somehow I don't think that lobbing St. Anthony statues at women would work for me - they'd probably file lawsuits and orders of protection.

[Fides_et_Ratio]

[quote name='Norseman82' post='1051565' date='Aug 27 2006, 01:10 PM']


Somehow I don't think that lobbing St. Anthony statues at women would work for me - they'd probably file lawsuits and orders of protection.
[/quote]
well, if you lobbed a St. Anthony statue at a woman, you'd probably knock her out. Women don't typically throw things as hard as men do. :

[Norseman82]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 06:41 PM']
So I met this amazing guy last November and we started dating in January...he's 23, grad student, Catholic, doesn't party, values family, respects me, respects my family...wow amazing right? I felt so blessed...I found the kind of person I've always prayed about.

He broke up with me a few weeks ago for stupid reasons. I was/am dumbfounded. My parents even liked him and thought we would get married.

I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it!

I'm sorry don't mean to sound like a pathetic case but I just needed to vent
[/quote]

I don't know what the "stupid reasons" are - and keep in mind that one person's "stupid reasons" could be another person's legitimate dealbreakers. Have you discussed this with someone like a solid priest? Or trusted family? They could validate whether they are truly "stupid reasons". For this reason you should also try to include some male feedback as well (priest, father, brother).

Now, if you validate that these are truly "stupid reasons", there may be the chance that this guy may want another chance. In this case, [b]lay down the law[/b] with him and tell him you don't want to be strung along with mind games. If not, see who he ends up dating. It is sickening how many nice people are dumped for lowlife and even more sickening that people are harder on the nice people for "not accepting it as part of God's plan" to cover up the fact that they don't have the guts to confront the louts in the world who mistreat the nice people.

[quote name='Fides_et_Ratio' post='1051569' date='Aug 27 2006, 12:12 PM']
well, if you lobbed a St. Anthony statue at a woman, you'd probably knock her out. Women don't typically throw things as hard as men do. :
[/quote]

You obviously never met my mom's side of the family (while they were still alive)! They would make drill sergeants look like Mother Theresa.

[jswranch]

Any chance God is sending you a message that you are called to be a cellibate of some sort?

[God the Father]

[quote name='jswranch' post='1051665' date='Aug 27 2006, 04:09 PM']
Any chance God is sending you a message that you are called to be a cellibate of some sort?
[/quote]

[img]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y35/PeteLiv/ceburn.gif[/img]

[scardella]

Just so that you know, there are guys in the same sort of position... take it from a veteran of that.

Sometimes God lets things like this happen, but He manages to bring you closer to Him in the process.