Why can't I find a good man?

[uruviel]

just remember that it's not like you are un-loved. In Jesus's heart you are His love, and if we call on Him through these hard times we grow closer to Him and learn to deal with these hardships in His sacred heart. God Bless you!!

[Maddalena]

I used to worry about the same thing -- all the time. I finally just decided to forget about it and live my life because I realized how silly I sounded -- now I'm engaged. It pays to just live your life and kind of forget about it, then God will throw what it is you really want your way. That's my experience anyway.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 06:41 PM']
So I met this amazing guy last November and we started dating in January...he's 23, grad student, Catholic, doesn't party, values family, respects me, respects my family...wow amazing right? I felt so blessed...I found the kind of person I've always prayed about.

He broke up with me a few weeks ago for stupid reasons. I was/am dumbfounded. My parents even liked him and thought we would get married.

I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it!

I'm sorry don't mean to sound like a pathetic case but I just needed to vent
[/quote]


It smells of elderberries but be patient. If you're meant to get married you will. I've had a lot of the same thoughts as you. It seems all the girls I ever have interest in or start to go out with or whatever always end up entering convent . While it's not cool to keep losing opportunities like that, it made me realize that at least I'm picking on the right kind of girls . So, take what you can from the experience and you'll learn something from it, like I did.

Edited August 28, 2006 by goldenchild17

[Josie07]

wow this is scary.. you just described my life

[thessalonian]

I've been there from the male side of things. I didn't get married till I was 38 and she wasn't Catholic. But she converted.

Keep the faith. The Lord has something in mind for you.
I will pray.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='thessalonian' post='1254427' date='Apr 23 2007, 06:50 PM']I've been there from the male side of things. I didn't get married till I was 38 and she wasn't Catholic. But she converted.

Keep the faith. The Lord has something in mind for you.
I will pray.[/quote]
See, now that's inspiring, esp. since you now have 8 kids.


I'm 30 and I haven't dated much. It is really rare for me to find a guy I can connect with and grow to trust ... I can count the number of guys I've felt that way about on one hand. Those guys are jewels, and at this point I am just not willing to spend time investing in a relationship with someone who is not a jewel. I'm not a casual dater. So I am instead trusting that I am doing what God has called me to do, and that if he wishes to grant me a loving marriage, then so be it. If not, then I'm sure I will be OK then too.

[Ash Wednesday]

I've come to realize over time that whatever happens, even if it's a lesson we don't understand right now, it usually turns out to be for the best in the end.

[Pontifite 7 of 10]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 06:41 PM']I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it![/quote]
I think God is trying to tell you something...*convent* hmhmh.

[bonoducchi]

Could it be that these two people just weren't compatible? Why must we immeadiately suggest that she is being called to a religious vocation or that "God has a plan that will be revelaed when you throw a statue at someone." Sometimes people just don't want to date you anymore - for better or for worse. I'm sure they're are plenty of other men who would be interested in getting to know you better.

I'm single and parishioners are constantly asking "Why? Are you going to be a priest?" The reply is always no, I just haven't found anyone I'm mutally interested in. People need to realize singleness is not this miserable, lonely existance that people are condemned to like its a desert island. The choice alwyas seems to be marriage or religious vocations, with no real appreciation for the middle ground. Its a perfectly joyful way of living in which you can embrace a life of service and freedom to live the way you want to (where you live, what color you paint the wall, when you eat, work schedule, how much to pay for cable, vacations.....).

Being single is certainly not the end of the world. They're are plenty of us that do it all day, every day. Most of the time, I enjoy it because it allows me the freedom to work as much as I need to at my parish without fear that my relationship will suffer from it. Enjoy singleness - find a new hobby or rekindle old friendships that have withered with time. You don't need to date someone to be happy.

And don't find a trad man just to get married - that sounds like a receipe for disaster.

Edited April 24, 2007 by VaticanIILiturgist

[Tindomiel]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 07:41 PM']So I met this amazing guy last November and we started dating in January...he's 23, grad student, Catholic, doesn't party, values family, respects me, respects my family...wow amazing right? I felt so blessed...I found the kind of person I've always prayed about.

He broke up with me a few weeks ago for stupid reasons. I was/am dumbfounded. My parents even liked him and thought we would get married.

I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it!

I'm sorry don't mean to sound like a pathetic case but I just needed to vent [/quote]

My mom has a very similar story. As it turned out, the guy she had been engaged to wouldn't have been good for her at all. Then a few years later she met my dad. Maybe God just wants to make sure you marry the right person.





[quote name='Tindomiel' post='1051201' date='Aug 26 2006, 09:29 PM'][/quote]


[quote name='Tindomiel' post='1051214' date='Aug 26 2006, 09:47 PM'][/quote]
[b]Who has been posting under my name?!?!?![/b]

Blarghefur.

Edited April 24, 2007 by Tindomiel

[homeschoolmom]

[img]http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/media_content/m-2594.jpg[/img]
Everyone knows the answer to your question....

[Sojourner]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1254989' date='Apr 24 2007, 09:57 AM'][img]http://www.georgiaencyclopedia.org/media_content/m-2594.jpg[/img]
Everyone knows the answer to your question....[/quote]
I have that book ... it hasn't helped yet.

[homeschoolmom]

It's not a self-help?

[Lounge Daddy]

[quote name='Terra Firma' post='1254462' date='Apr 23 2007, 08:27 PM']See, now that's inspiring, esp. since you now have 8 kids. [/quote]

Some one else has 8 kids?

[Lounge Daddy]

We will just have to have 9 then.

[XIX]

[quote name='annabelle87' post='1051146' date='Aug 26 2006, 05:41 PM']So I met this amazing guy last November and we started dating in January...he's 23, grad student, Catholic, doesn't party, values family, respects me, respects my family...wow amazing right? I felt so blessed...I found the kind of person I've always prayed about.

He broke up with me a few weeks ago for stupid reasons. I was/am dumbfounded. My parents even liked him and thought we would get married.

I know I need to trust God because He has a plan and I know this isn't gonna sound too Christian but I hate love and I hate men and I hate having my heart broken again and again. And this time could be the worst, because he was so different. It's not fair. I hate it!

I'm sorry don't mean to sound like a pathetic case but I just needed to vent [/quote]
If it makes you feel any better, there are guy that are attracted to women who are broken hearted. This sounds kinda stwange, but hear me out. I'm reading this, and I'm basically thinking to myself "OH COME ON...I could do such a good job!"

So our knight-in-shining-armor side comes out. Some guy down the road will possibly catch wind of your situation and be like...

You poor wee chicken!

Hey I'm 23.
I'm Catholic.
I don't binge drink or anything.
That's definitely a girl I would respect.
etc. etc. etc.

And he'll be more motivated to treat you well and win you over because he wants to do something to heal the wounds of the past. Knights in Shining Armor like to come to the rescue like that.

Hope that made sense.

[prose]

I am sorry. Heartbreak smells of elderberries. There is nothing any of us can say to make it better. Just keep getting up each morning, and slowly it becomes less painful.

I will pray for you (and your vocation) (and maybe your future husband).

[onathing1]

[quote name='Lounge Daddy' post='1255047' date='Apr 24 2007, 12:40 PM']Some one else has 8 kids?[/quote]

I'm the oldest of 8





And I definately understand your heart break. It hurts, I know, but it'll get better with each passing day.

[Tindomiel]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' post='1255024' date='Apr 24 2007, 12:19 PM']It's not a self-help?[/quote]

A self-help book by Flannery O'Connor? Now that would be something I'd love to see. I can just imagine her advice.... like Dr. Laura plus some.


[quote name='XIX' post='1255070' date='Apr 24 2007, 01:13 PM']If it makes you feel any better, there are guy that are attracted to women who are broken hearted.[/quote]
I'm a nerd for thinking that this reminds me of Raskolnikov. No offense, mind you... the side that was attracted to women with broken hearts was his good side after all......................................








yeah, and I'll just stop now.

[johnnydigit]

everyone should discern the religious life and marriage seriously. those brave and mature enough to do this will decisively (somewhat) determine what their calling is. they can finally and peacefully shut the door on the other possibility, and fully put their faith into what God is calling them to. you can take engagement/marriage courses (by yourself even), learn about dating and theology of the body, etc.

if it's marriage you know you're being called to, then you will feel so free and probably won't be as hurt by these guys. you'll be confident in your purpose, dating, your role, your mate's role, etc. you'll be able to focus more on God, and whatever happens will be much easier to handle.

ANYWHO, how active are you in the church and catholic community? when i started to explore young adult groups, i would connect with this person and that, meet this person and that, see this person here and there, at events and conferences and such. next thing i know, i've met like a million young catholics from all over the region of my state.

the good ones are out there, you just gotta let God lead you! oh ya and pray, pray, pray. pray everyday! ask God that if this is what He wants for you and if this is the time, to bring that someone into your life. if not, let you be at peace and focus on what you're supposed to be focusing on. it takes so much stress off wondering and always thinking if that guy there is the one or not..

Edited April 24, 2007 by johnnydigit