CoffeeCatholic Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 [size=1]**edit** I tried to post this at 5, but my internet junked out on me. ***[/size] So i feel really icky right now. I live in a town home with 2 other girls who also just graduated from college last year. I'm the only one in a steady relationship, and my boyfriend actually lives less than a block away. Right after we moved in, somebody was crazy enough to buy the old crack den 2 houses down from us. We soon made friends with this guy, Nic, who had moved from Romania and was planning on fixing up the house all by himself for him and his wife. He's Orthodox, but my bf and I had some great Catholic conversations with him, and even gave him a framed image of Sts. Cyril and Methodius for Christmas (Roman) which he has hanging in his living room. It's pretty much the only thing he has up on the walls. A few months ago my roommate, who is a petite pretty blond girl, had a weird experience where Nic asked her if she'd like to go to the movies with him. While awkward, and I don't blame Liz for not wanting to spend too much time with him, I chalked it up to him being lonely. He had told me his wife was working up in New York City (a days drive from here) and didn't want to move in until he had finished the house. I thought she was silly, but i'm not one to judge a marriage that quickly. But just a few minutes ago i had this really weird experience, and I feel super icky. I was coming in from a walk, and Nic was outside so we started chatting, and i went over to see the work he was doing on his shed, and he was telling me about his life, and that he can't find a job right now (he's a contract painter) and that he's so lonely (which i believe!). I traditionally won't go inside his house without my bf, just because of the possibility of scandal (although he's literally twice my age, but the neighborhood is pretty tight knit, despite the occasional crack house). But he wanted to show me where he had put up the icon we'd given him and the work he'd done on the kitchen. We were sitting and talking in the kitchen and things got really weird. I told him i had to go, and he hugged me goodbye, which was fine... except he wouldn't let go, and he kissed my neck, and he told me i smelled good, and.... anyway, I was feeling really really creeped out by this, and I know he's not a bad guy, and even minutes before he had said he might go to church with my bf and I on Sunday because the Orthodox church is so far away. Then he told me that he and his wife are divorced... and have been for 4 years! So he keeps introducing people to her as his wife (including me a year ago) and they have a house together (that she doesn't live in, but still is down occasionally). I just needed to vent this. I feel totally violated, and creeped out, but he's really a nice guy, and I think a lot of it has to do with cultural differences, i'm sure. But never before have I been worried about being alone with him. I know he's just so lonely, but.... Anyway, could you please pray for Nic, that he will find the right path, and for me that I can shake the ebby-jeebies. thanks pham. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 That IS a creepy event! I have had similar occurrences myself. I will pray for him. Just be careful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeCatholic Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 thanks. I know he needs it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJRod55 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 He needs friends but you are perhaps not the friend he really needs. He needs someone who can help him overcome his feelings and the past. Encourage him to seek freindship but I would advise you avoid situations where you are alone with him. Safety first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Many rapists seem like nice guys at first too. Never be alone with him again. Never let your roommates alone with him again. Introduce him to some nice unmaried ladies his own age quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewReformation Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Pepper spray, mace, billy clubs, and large male friends may be a handy-dandy thing to have nearby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJRod55 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Wow - a triple posting! Seriously I think, after thinking about it, this could be a nasty situation for all involved. It is best to stay away and keep a safe distance Make sure you know something about this guy - name etc in case the worst happens to you or your friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God Conquers Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Why are all Romanian immigrants contract painters? .... oh... and uh... what everyone else said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alicemary Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 This man is not a 'nice man' he could very well be a predator. Stay away by all means. God was with you, and you were not physically harmed. Do not let there be a next time. You do not owe him a thing, certainly pray for him, but do not ever be alone with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piamaria Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 [quote name='alicemary' post='1213177' date='Mar 13 2007, 03:20 PM']This man is not a 'nice man' he could very well be a predator. Stay away by all means. God was with you, and you were not physically harmed. Do not let there be a next time. You do not owe him a thing, certainly pray for him, but do not ever be alone with him.[/quote] This is a bad situation. I agree with the above statement. What does your boyfriend thinK? Also, please warn your room-mates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clg01 Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 [quote name='CoffeeCatholic' post='1212891' date='Mar 13 2007, 12:12 AM'][size=1]**edit** I tried to post this at 5, but my internet junked out on me. ***[/size] So i feel really icky right now. A few months ago my roommate, who is a petite pretty blond girl, had a weird experience where Nic asked her if she'd like to go to the movies with him. While awkward, and I don't blame Liz for not wanting to spend too much time with him, I chalked it up to him being lonely. He had told me his wife was working up in New York City (a days drive from here) and didn't want to move in until he had finished the house. I thought she was silly, but i'm not one to judge a marriage that quickly. I just needed to vent this. I feel totally violated, and creeped out, but he's really a nice guy, and I think a lot of it has to do with cultural differences, i'm sure. But never before have I been worried about being alone with him. I know he's just so lonely, but.... Anyway, could you please pray for Nic, that he will find the right path, and for me that I can shake the ebby-jeebies. thanks pham.[/quote] Ummmm, yeah, he knows exactly what he's doing and (even though you said he was 'a nice guy' a lot in your post') you should definitely tell your bf what happend and STAY OUT OF HIS PLACE ALONE. If you really think about it, consider how lucky you are. He lied to you (and other from the beginning about being married) and he could've have really done something to you had he really wanted too. Please, please don't go there alone again because the next time might not turn out to so good and, believe me, I'll definitely pray for him and I hope other phatmassers do as well. Thank God nothing more serious/harmful happened to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picchick Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Agreed with everyone else....this is more than creepy. It is not right. Meg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resurrexi Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 (edited) [quote name='CoffeeCatholic' post='1212891' date='Mar 12 2007, 10:12 PM'][size=1]**edit** I tried to post this at 5, but my internet junked out on me. ***[/size] So i feel really icky right now. I live in a town home with 2 other girls who also just graduated from college last year. I'm the only one in a steady relationship, and my boyfriend actually lives less than a block away. Right after we moved in, somebody was crazy enough to buy the old crack den 2 houses down from us. We soon made friends with this guy, Nic, who had moved from Romania and was planning on fixing up the house all by himself for him and his wife. He's Orthodox, but my bf and I had some great Catholic conversations with him, and even gave him a framed image of Sts. Cyril and Methodius for Christmas (Roman) which he has hanging in his living room. It's pretty much the only thing he has up on the walls. A few months ago my roommate, who is a petite pretty blond girl, had a weird experience where Nic asked her if she'd like to go to the movies with him. While awkward, and I don't blame Liz for not wanting to spend too much time with him, I chalked it up to him being lonely. He had told me his wife was working up in New York City (a days drive from here) and didn't want to move in until he had finished the house. I thought she was silly, but i'm not one to judge a marriage that quickly. But just a few minutes ago i had this really weird experience, and I feel super icky. I was coming in from a walk, and Nic was outside so we started chatting, and i went over to see the work he was doing on his shed, and he was telling me about his life, and that he can't find a job right now (he's a contract painter) and that he's so lonely (which i believe!). I traditionally won't go inside his house without my bf, just because of the possibility of scandal (although he's literally twice my age, but the neighborhood is pretty tight knit, despite the occasional crack house). But he wanted to show me where he had put up the icon we'd given him and the work he'd done on the kitchen. We were sitting and talking in the kitchen and things got really weird. I told him i had to go, and he hugged me goodbye, which was fine... except he wouldn't let go, and he kissed my neck, and he told me i smelled good, and.... anyway, I was feeling really really creeped out by this, and I know he's not a bad guy, and even minutes before he had said he might go to church with my bf and I on Sunday because the Orthodox church is so far away. Then he told me that he and his wife are divorced... and have been for 4 years! So he keeps introducing people to her as his wife (including me a year ago) and they have a house together (that she doesn't live in, but still is down occasionally). I just needed to vent this. I feel totally violated, and creeped out, but he's really a nice guy, and I think a lot of it has to do with cultural differences, i'm sure. But never before have I been worried about being alone with him. I know he's just so lonely, but.... Anyway, could you please pray for Nic, that he will find the right path, and for me that I can shake the ebby-jeebies. thanks pham.[/quote] This reminds me of the movie 'Ring Around the Rosie'. It it the girl who had a boyfriend thought this one guy was really nice and was with him when her boyfriend was away. She ended up getting raped and almost murdered. So yeah, I'd advise you to stay away from him. Edited March 14, 2007 by StThomasMore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brendan1104 Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 Amen! Watch out! [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1213061' date='Mar 13 2007, 11:00 AM']Many rapists seem like nice guys at first too. Never be alone with him again. Never let your roommates alone with him again. Introduce him to some nice unmaried ladies his own age quick.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeCatholic Posted March 14, 2007 Author Share Posted March 14, 2007 Thanks guys. I called and told my BF about it right away, and he agrees that i have a reason to be creeped out. and it's been over a day, and i just can't shake it. luckily my boyfriend falls into the [i]"large male friend"[/i] category that NewReformation was talking about.... I don't really know what to do about it though. I told my roommates, and they agree that distance is the best answer for us females. But now i feel so uncomfortable... I didn't even walk to the store today because it would have meant i would have to walk around his side of the complex, right next to his fence. I don't want this to get in the way of my life, but i don't know what else to do! thank you guys so much for being so supportive! reading all your comments has made me feel so much better about my apprehensions, and I know that you guys are praying hard for him. Do you think i should have my bf talk to him? or is that too much like me sicking my bf on him and using him as my "guard dog"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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