dUSt Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I've noticed a disturbing trend lately here at phatmass. A lot of posts seem to be dominated by a victim mentality. Let's discuss. Is a victim mentality necessarily a bad thing? How do you get over a victim mentality? Is everyone capable of overcoming a victim mentality or is it something that can never be changed in a person? Does it need to be? Does the church say anything on this matter? Should this be left up to phsycologists and therapists? Do people use phatmass as their therapist? Personally, and I'm not saying this is good or bad or better, but I despise having anything to do with being associated with being a victim. If something happens to me, and it's not my fault, I suppose that I would "technically" be the victim, but in my head, I am not. I do everything in my power to be portrayed as the victor, and throughout any type of negative experience, I think of myself as the victor, as opposed to the victim. Seriously, am I distorted? Is there something wrong with me? Have I hardened my heart so much that things don't affect me? Is this good or bad? Is it bad that I have a hard time getting emotional and always approach situations from an analytical standpoint? What am I missing? It is all quite intriguing to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Gosh, dUSt, if you want to accuse me, just come right out and say it. Why are you always so mean to me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted September 11, 2007 Author Share Posted September 11, 2007 Interesting point. Even though this post is not regarding any specific individual, those people who have a victim mentality will immediately assume that this post is about them. Woa. Heavy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollingcatholic Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 [quote name='dUSt' post='1383480' date='Sep 11 2007, 11:49 AM']Interesting point. Even though this post is not regarding any specific individual, those people who have a victim mentality will immediately assume that this post is about them. Woa. Heavy.[/quote] What if we're just paranoid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laudate_Dominum Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 leave me alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starets Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 "Even paranoids have real enemies" -Delmore Schwartz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laudate_Dominum Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Actually I take that back.. I'm now the official phatmass bully.. You are all nerds.. Muahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I don't think I ever feel victimized... I get emotional, maybe, but thats usually angry, not hurt or offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rachael Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 (edited) [quote]Actually I take that back.. I'm now the official phatmass bully.. You are all nerds.. Muahahaha[/quote] Nerds are cool. Edited September 11, 2007 by rachael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 [quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1383487' date='Sep 11 2007, 10:57 AM']I don't think I ever feel victimized... I get emotional, maybe, but thats usually angry, not hurt or offended.[/quote] I'd welcome feedback on this, but I think the distinction is a that a victim wholly blames the offender(s) and is unable or unwilling to see his or her own complicity in the situation. There are legitimately cases where this is true, but in most disagreements between people both parties share at least some part of the culpability for the situation. It takes some humility and maturity to come to the point that you see yourself realistically in the big picture of the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollingcatholic Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 [quote name='rachael' post='1383489' date='Sep 11 2007, 12:00 PM'] Nerds are cool.[/quote] You would say that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 [quote name='rachael' post='1383489' date='Sep 11 2007, 11:00 AM'] Nerds are cool.[/quote] Especially nerds named rachael. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N/A Gone Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 Are you crying because your fantasy team only has 25 pts and I have 99? talk about an indirect way to make it acceptable to whine. c'mon baldy, you can cry on my shoulder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 [quote name='Terra Firma' post='1383492' date='Sep 11 2007, 01:03 PM']I'd welcome feedback on this,[b] but I think the distinction is a that a victim wholly blames the offender(s) and is unable or unwilling to see his or her own complicity in the situation. [/b]There are legitimately cases where this is true, but in most disagreements between people both parties share at least some part of the culpability for the situation. It takes some humility and maturity to come to the point that you see yourself realistically in the big picture of the situation.[/quote] I definitely agree with that. I like to think I'm pretty well aware of my faults, and that I can admit where I've been wrong. I just refuse to admit I'm wrong if I don't think I am. And I have a hard time letting go of grudges when the other person won't admit that they are guilty as well. I know at times I let things get to me and take things personally (especially if it involves or affects family), and at times that can be a fault but its got to have hit me pretty hard if I refuse to let go of the grudge. (I can name 2 grudges where I struggle to forgive the person, and I'd like to think I have, but I refuse to have anything to do with them because they are bad for my disposition.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted September 11, 2007 Share Posted September 11, 2007 I think it's because we live in a drama-queen society, but that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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