Victim Mentality

[ardillacid]

All worries and woes would dissipate if you put a squirrel on your homepage.

[mariahLVzJP2]

[quote name='prose' post='1383713' date='Sep 11 2007, 05:42 PM']Just was saying that people have been edgy lately.[/quote]
yup. I've noticed that as well.

[ardillacid]

They say those who can't just instruct others,
And act like victims or jilted lovers,
You can't lose it if you never had it,
Disappear man, Do some magic,
You want a reason? How is about because
You ain't a has been if you never was

[dairygirl4u2c]

i dislike great quantities of the victim mentality. but i also dislike great quantities the mentality that bashes the victim mentality. no one is good in my book. and tomarrow i'll not like the mentality that doesn't like the mentality that bashes victim mentality. ie me. yes i live in a world of occasional self loathing.

[abercius24]

School yard analogy; six types of people:
1. The strong guy who bullies the weak kid
2. The strong guy who stops the fight
3. The spectator who roots to encourage the bully ("Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!")
4. The spectator who feels sorry for the weak kid
5. The weak kid who fights back, but gets beat up anyways
6. The weak kid who stands there and cries

Who were you and how does that relate to this discussion?

I was number 5, which is why I have a tendency to look out for and sympathize with those of a victim mentality, but I also have a tendency to really enjoy humiliating bullies -- which can be very dangerous as a Christian. (Kung Fu changed my life!)

Edited September 12, 2007 by abercius24

[aalpha1989]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1383707' date='Sep 11 2007, 05:34 PM']Well, to me, if I give my own children the exact same advice I give people on this phorum, I'd hope it would viewed as just that. Advice. Not some type of oppressive bashing and uncharitable behavior.

I've been called uncharitable numerous times by different posters. It's funny that my own children are subject to the exact same advice and reprimands from me, yet, they see it as legitimate concern and love for them. Go figure.

I guess what they say about the internet is true. Al Gore [b]did[/b] invent it.
Wait... I just painted myself as the victim. Doh![/quote]


just for the record i agreed with you in the thread i think you are talking about....i just didn't know how to vocalize my agreement without being called uncharitable

well let me amend my statement...

i totally agreed with what you were saying...

i maybe didn't agree with the way you were saying it.

Edited September 12, 2007 by aalpha1989

[jmjtina]

I think well intentioned people who say, "Climb a bridge and get over it" are talking to the self entitled ego-centric victims.

I know I've said it.

And the point has been made to stop the whining and the crying.

[dUSt]

[quote name='abercius24' post='1383818' date='Sep 11 2007, 08:55 PM']School yard analogy; six types of people:
1. The strong guy who bullies the weak kid
2. The strong guy who stops the fight
3. The spectator who roots to encourage the bully ("Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!")
4. The spectator who feels sorry for the weak kid
5. The weak kid who fights back, but gets beat up anyways
6. The weak kid who stands there and cries

Who were you and how does that relate to this discussion?[/quote]
I was #6.

[morostheos]

[quote name='abercius24' post='1383818' date='Sep 12 2007, 02:55 AM']School yard analogy; six types of people:
1. The strong guy who bullies the weak kid
2. The strong guy who stops the fight
3. The spectator who roots to encourage the bully ("Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!")
4. The spectator who feels sorry for the weak kid
5. The weak kid who fights back, but gets beat up anyways
6. The weak kid who stands there and cries[/quote]

I was #7, the weak kid who got bullied but continued walking and pretended not to hear the bully.

(Well, either that, or I would say to the bully: "Thanks for picking on me. Your immaturity is helping to build my character and make me a stronger person." (my mom told me to tell them that, i really was a nerd I guess that's kind of number 5...)

Edited September 12, 2007 by morostheos

[abercius24]

[quote name='dUSt' post='1383832' date='Sep 11 2007, 09:13 PM']I was #6.[/quote]

That surprises me, Dust.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='greentea' post='1383664' date='Sep 11 2007, 05:29 PM']As frustrating as having a friend with a 'victim-mentality' can be, the 'get over it' approach is never a good idea. Imagine deciding to open up to a close friend (or anonymously on a forum) with some problems you have because you don't have any other outlet, and you're told to stop being such a whiner. There are some people who genuinely don't have a problem and are looking for a bit of attention.. but that could be a bit of a problem in itself.

Everybody needs to vent somewhere, and for some people it's easier to do this where nobody knows them... and a religious environment would be ideal, as people tend to be more caring/accepting (or at least they should be). Having people open up here is a good thing IMO, it shows that the user trusts the members and finds phatmass a supportive place, which is what a forum of this nature should be.[/quote]

There is a difference between venting and victim mentality. Victim mentality of most often a pattern of behavior, and happens over and over. Venting or seeing advice may happen often but the attitudes and reactions are usually different if someone says "get over it." A venter will usually say something along the lines of "I've tried but..." A victim will cry foul "You don't understand! Stop attacking me! You're being rude/uncharitable/etc."

[quote name='dUSt' post='1383707' date='Sep 11 2007, 06:34 PM']Well, to me, if I give my own children the exact same advice I give people on this phorum, I'd hope it would viewed as just that. Advice. Not some type of oppressive bashing and uncharitable behavior.

I've been called uncharitable numerous times by different posters. It's funny that my own children are subject to the exact same advice and reprimands from me, yet, they see it as legitimate concern and love for them. Go figure.

I guess what they say about the internet is true. Al Gore [b]did[/b] invent it.
Wait... I just painted myself as the victim. Doh![/quote]

You started this thread just so you could be the victim, didn't you?

We tell our kids they need to get over things, too. Maybe not in that exact phrase, but I've told her often enough that we don't cry over silly things. Stuff like that.

[quote name='abercius24' post='1383818' date='Sep 11 2007, 09:55 PM']School yard analogy; six types of people:
1. The strong guy who bullies the weak kid
2. The strong guy who stops the fight
3. The spectator who roots to encourage the bully ("Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!")
4. The spectator who feels sorry for the weak kid
5. The weak kid who fights back, but gets beat up anyways
6. The weak kid who stands there and cries

Who were you and how does that relate to this discussion?

I was number 5, which is why I have a tendency to look out for and sympathize with those of a victim mentality, but I also have a tendency to really enjoy humiliating bullies -- which can be very dangerous as a Christian. (Kung Fu changed my life!)[/quote]

I was combo 2 and 4. I wasn't picked on too much (but I was also homeschooled so there wasn't much opportunity), but when I was I'd put up with it for just so long before lashing back. I've been known to stand up for my friends, even seeking out the offender in order to have my say. I only got in a physical fight once (I was about 11)--I'm a verbal fighter. Always have been. "I'll tear you apart with my bare hands. Or... vicious rhetoric." I'm not "the strong guy", I'm a weakling so if it had come down to physical fights I'm sure I'd have lost.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1383594' date='Sep 11 2007, 01:13 PM']One cannot simultaneously be a victim and a Vikings fan[/quote]

Nope, they are fully responsible for bringing pain upon themselves

[Socrates]

"Get Over It," by the Eagles

I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin' "Don't blame me"
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma's too thin; your daddy's too fat

Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

You say you haven't been the same since you had your little crash
But you might feel better if I gave you some cash
The more I think about it, Old Billy was right
Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight
You don't want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing

Get over it
Get over it
If you don't want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it, Get over it

It's like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You're makin' the most of your losin' streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak
You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass

Get over it
Get over it
All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit
Get over it, get over it

Get over it
Get over it
It's gotta stop sometime, so why don't you quit
Get over it, get over it

Great lyrics!

[Jaime]

holy cow do I hate the Eagles

[Socrates]

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1383922' date='Sep 11 2007, 09:57 PM']holy cow do I hate the Eagles[/quote]
"I've had a rough day, and I hate the f***in' Eagles, man!"

"That's it! Get the f*** outta my cab!"

~ from [i]The Big Lebowski[/i]