Kindled As A Furnace

[Mitchell_b55]

[color="#FF0000"][b]Dear Phatmassers,[/b][/color]

I was vexed to see my works revealed and tried by fire, and that they did not abide. Behold that the loss on this forum came kindled as a furnace: and my work, proud, and wicked was as stubble, and it was set on fire, neither did root nor branch abide. This may be an example of Providence and I actually offer a prayer of thanksgiving that these works were lost, because they did not do me merit, but rather did me harm. S. Paul says to the Corinthians that ‘Every man's work shall be manifest; for the day of the Lord shall declare it, because it shall be revealed in fire; and the fire shall try every man's work, of what sort it is.’ He distinguishes between that which is built on ‘gold, silver, and precious stones’ and that which is founded on ‘wood, hay, stubble’. The former is Christ and his holy doctrines as preserved and defined by His holy Roman Church Catholic, the latter is like the Corinthian teachers in the schools. ‘Who affected the pomp of words and human eloquence … and such practice as is mixed with much imperfection’.

It was the rhetoric and the sarcasm that I employed not that which I relayed, that was stubble. I stand steadfast behind my propositions, for I believe that they are fully in accordance with God’s holy Church, but I spoke in a venomous way which tainted the message of Christ. I must apologise and publicly repent this, even after I wrote of my unrepentant speech. I reflect now and upon discerning God’s will I ask that this be a new beginning. This will be my first real post since April of 2007 and with it I hope that I may begin struggling in holiness. To this point I have given lip service to a precept that I have forcibly made a priority, I begin this day to practise that precept. I will fail and I ask that you forgive these failings.

One of the founding principles of my blog was that there is a time and there is a place for serious discussion and for playfulness. For sarcasm and wittiness and for sombreness and sobriety. That we do not harshly and uncharitably criticise. That we do not burn heretics. That that is for other times and places and persons. That there is no spirit of crass criticism, no gossip of any sort. That one will never hear within, personal criticism of a fellow, of a superior or professor, or of any other institution inside the Church or Church authority, as well as those that are outside the Church. That we charitably attack ideas, not people. And that truth wedded to charity is the ideal. I have not live up to this ideal and for various reasons.

St. John of the Cross once wrote that love consists not in feeling great things but in having great detachment and in suffering for the Beloved. He also spoke of the wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others. I am in pursuit of that most sacred of dignities, the sacerdotal office. But I am myself the least holy the lowest of men. I am no more a saint than was Judas. And with each word that is burdened with bitterness I betray Him with a kiss. The insight of this holy Doctor of the Church is always before me, because I need to remember this.

Please note that I am a passionate person, and I often find myself engaging in controversy with bitterness toward my foe. Perhaps it is that I am not as detached as I would like to be that I label him a foe to begin with. ‘Know you not, that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? But if any man violate the temple of God, him shall God destroy.’ I deceive myself, in that I violate the temple of God by staining my lips with the blood of my adversaries. I often have likened my attitude to that of Hilaire Belloc who believed that if you are to use the pen as a sword you should draw blood. Perhaps, but the guilty satisfaction in seeing blank faces and the pleasure I gained make this an unholy endeavour.

Suffering for the Beloved is forgetting self and being consumed by Christ. I must rejoice in my sufferings, and fill up those things that are wanting in the sufferings of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the Church. There is nothing wanting in the head, but in the body much is wanting, in the members many shall and must suffer. St. Teresa of Avila tells us that suffering is a great favour and that we should know that everything soon comes to an end. I need to suffer with Christ and one of the aspects of this suffering, lesser perhaps than others, is to restrain my tongue that wordy war may not resound.

I give an oath that I will be objective, as I have often said I am, though the subjective leaks out in the dripping acrimony. Who can say: My heart is clean, I am pure from sin? The heart is senseless and deceptive. For is it not said that he that trusteth in his own heart, is a fool: but he that walketh wisely, he shall be saved. Please hold me to my word.

This doesn’t mean that I have suddenly become a righteous prude, it is because they take themselves lightly that the angels fly, remember? Pope Benedict says it all for me, as he often does, ‘[God] has a great sense of humour.… Humour is in fact an essential element in the mirth of creation. We can see how, in many matters in our lives, God wants to prod us into taking things a bit more lightly.’ So don’t expect a conversion to that deplorable (and often seen on these boards) sanctimonious attitude. I have a funny bone and I mean to let it be tickled, at every available opportunity. However, this is an apology, a plea for forgiveness, and a promise to guard my tongue and protect the truth from myself. Let us pray and hope that this will be a successful manoeuvre.

God bless and keep you.

[color="#FF0000"][b]Honoured to remain your obedient servant, Mitch Bond, a.k.a. the student of Peter.[/b][/color]

Edited March 7, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus

[Mitchell_b55]

I also apologise for writing too much. Nevertheless, in this matter you can blame Horace, he's the one that confirmed me is my long-winded ways. For it is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure. It is also no great art to say something briefly when, like Tacitus, one has something to say; when one has nothing to say, however, and none the less writes a whole book and makes truth into a liar — that I call an achievement. I heart Horace. Has anyone heard of the mandarin game played by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val and the fictional Boston Cardinal, Glennon in Henry Morton Robinson's [i]The Cardinal[/i]? Otto Preminger ruined it, in my not so humble opinion.

Edited March 7, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Did I miss something?

[Mitchell_b55]

Probably. I'm sure how many people actually got to read it, with the down time and database loss, but I wrote a horrible two post piece in the thread on the consecration of Russia to Our Blessed Mother's Immaculate Heart. I believe that it was sound reasoning and it took me three hours to write, though I'm not sure why and I was very angry to see it gone. I then reflected on it and the above was the product of that reflection.

Edited March 7, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus

[Paddington]

So...you're the reason that my favorite thread got chopped down?

[kafka]

so you're the one who caused this wrath of God. Curious did you see my post in that thread? What general view do you hold? You can private message me if you will. I understand your passion, you are young, time will mold you.

[Autumn Dusk]

You need some serious medicine or Therapy or a real life. You took this thing way too personally and its kinda nutty sounding, in all honesty. A post being taken down in a forum shouldn't result in an existential moment.

[Mitchell_b55]

It is very likely that I, in fact, brought down God's wrath. Though that might be assigning me a more important role than I deserve. Kafka, I'm sure that I did, but I did not retain it. I read all 79 posts before composing mine and they began to all blend together as Position A and Position B. I may just try to post a tame and thoughtful bit on my own opinions. As for the wisdom, so it will... so it will. The problem of time, however, is that it never seems to happen fast enough. Patience is something I constantly preach, and for the most part I am a patient person, but there are intermittent moments when I would like to have all done now. Those moments pass and I sober up, but it is a constant conflict. I am by nature predominantly Choleric, though I have a bit of the Melancholic in me, and this makes my disposal to patience a very trying thing. I have always wondered why God made me both a enthusiastic learner, someone who would feel at home in a library with volumes and volumes and volumes, and not allow me even the slightest bit of the phlegmatic to do it all properly.

[Mitchell_b55]

[quote]You need some serious medicine or Therapy or a real life.[/quote]

I am honestly very insulted. As for you other opinions, I am not saying that I am the cause of all of our misfortune, but that the misfortune has had a specific effect on me. It made me reflect on my behaviour. If that is wrong then I submit that all of the greatest saints of history have sinned in like manner. I faintly remember a certain man dwelling on having thrown pears to the pigs. It seems like a not very serious thing for a child to do, but it bothered him. In those posts I committed a sin, and every sin should be acknowledged no matter how severe. I have done so. Unlike many people I don't pop pills or run to the therapist every time I can't handle life, and in fact I am a very happy person without very many cares or worries. When I do see my failings, then I admit them.

There is a time and place for being serious and for being frivolous. The time was right that I seriously analyse the way in which I was engaging people. Maybe it wasn't important to you, but it was important to me. It was an exercise in spiritual maturity and trying to better develop my relationship with Our Lord. If you find fault in that, then I cannot see it.

Edited March 8, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus

[kafka]

[quote name='petrus_scholasticus' post='1473783' date='Mar 7 2008, 06:41 PM']It is very likely that I, in fact, brought down God's wrath. Though that might be assigning me a more important role than I deserve.[/quote]

that was a bit of a joke. So you hold both position A & B on the Fatima debate. You're not always clear. If you want to be more effective you should try to be simple while all while retaining subtlety.

[Mitchell_b55]

P.S. This thread had nothing to do with the Fatima thread being taken down, that was instigation, nothing more.

Edited March 8, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus

[Mitchell_b55]

Sorry, Kafka, what I meant was that I can't recall your post because all of the posts that I read began to blend together. I was only seeing the arguments, not the people, though I did mention a few people in my post. My position is that the consecration of Russia did occur, and I gave two reasons (which I won't elaborate here) and my opinion on why there are no apparent signs of the conversion of Russia. But that is neither here nor there.

P.S. I know it was a joke, mine was a bit of a joke too. I have a terribly dry sense of humour though. I get more out of British comedy, whereas I often don't understand American comedy at all. It all has to do with disposition, I suppose.

Edited March 7, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus

[kafka]

[quote name='petrus_scholasticus' post='1473790' date='Mar 7 2008, 06:54 PM']Sorry, Kafka, what I meant was that I can't recall your post because all of the posts that I read began to blend together. I was only seeing the arguments, not the people, though I did mention a few people in my post. My position is that the consecration of Russia did occur, and I gave two reasons (which I won't elaborate here) and my opinion on why there are no apparent signs of the conversion of Russia. But that is neither here nor there.

P.S. I know it was a joke, mine was a bit of a joke too. I have a terribly dry sense of humour though. I get more out of British comedy, whereas I often don't understand American comedy at all. It all has to do with disposition, I suppose.[/quote]



oh and I do agree with you. Only I think that Russia should be consecrated more times. Maybe once a year or once every five years.

[Autumn Dusk]

I think maturity and humility would warrant not creating a tread devoted to yourself. Whether or not you recognize "sin" in a debate is of consequence.

Your post is very concerning and does not reflect a stable mind. Dry humor or not saying that God took down a forum becuase of your post, or that you were over-dramatically angry about a post being removed is not rational.

Reflection like this may be important to you, but I don't see how its really proves any of your points to put it up. I think, infact, it shows the exact opposite.

[Mitchell_b55]

This was meant to be an apology not a debate. I did not at any point say that God took the forum down, because of me. That was purely in jest. I have explained that. When I say the loss of my post, which was very extensive, was [i]perhaps [/i]removed by Providence, I say this only to highlight that God works through natural mechanisms and that even if He did not directly do something, which I don't think He did, [i]perhaps [/i] the result of it's removal (My self-realisation at my own wicked behaviour) was Providential. Please read carefully my words, divorce me neither from my context, nor put me in juxtaposition to incongruous matter to undermine my meaning.

I take sin seriously and as I said if it is the result of instability (and trust me, I have had psychiatric analyses which confirm my stability for purposes of my vocation) then it is the same care and worry that the host of saints have also considered worthy of attention. I am not being scrupulous, because this is a real problem that exists elsewhere in my life. I have a sharp tongue and I need to fix that.

I was not over-dramatically angry about the "removal," it was posted in the last day anyway and would have been lost with the databases. I was vexed, which means irritated or annoyed, that it had been lost. My original post may seem dramatic, but that is because it is closely interwoven with scriptural material, which is not always cited, because this was not an academic thesis and I think citation is inappropriate, except by perhaps identifying the author.

I posted this thread to apologise, which in my mind, is not devoting it to me, but is devoting it to everyone that I have offended. I think especially of Cmom and Brenden whom I insulted directly in the posts. I ask their forgiveness and the forgiveness of anyone else who was offended.

You apparently did not read it, so I am not seeking forgiveness from you. You continue to insult me and I am fine with that.

My only question is, have you ever went to confession? The above is a sort of examination of conscience and then confession. I tend to be vary meticulous in such things, if it is too heavy for you then that does not concern the above examination.

With that, I let the matter rest, because you are causing me to feel rather irritated and tempted by my accustomed failing.

Edited March 8, 2008 by petrus_scholasticus