What's That Saying About Feces And A Spinning Object?

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
yeah, well, the shinobi has officially hit the fan in my family. my sister has basically disowned all her siblings, their children, and my parents. my heart is breaking, and i am profoundly upset. shinobi, words don't seem to be enough, to convey the sense of loss i feel. she sent a letter to everyone (including my parents), detailing how she feels, and 'breaking things off'.

all the children have been trying to plan my parents' 50th anniversary party. my sister felt slighted because she had tried to get something going 2 years ago, and no one was really interested. plus she had big ideas (cool ideas, but out of reach), and no one wanted to hurt her feelings by telling her so, and so we all kinda put off doing something at that time.

so when we brought it up a couple of weeks ago, she got upset and said she wanted nothing to do with planning, but that her whole 'clan' would attend. and now this.

i'm really upset, and probably everyone had a hand in how this played out. no one is innocent. we're all busy with our own shinobi, and don't connect with each other the way we should (calling, visiting, etc.). but each of us have our own problems to deal with that are hard enough without worrying about our siblings' problems. and half of the problems my siblings have with each other are older than i am (btw, i'm turning 30 this year - gives you an idea of how far back the feuds go).

i don't know what to do, how to fix this. my parents would not have wanted any sort of party if this is how it would get played out.

please pray for us.

[Deus te Amat]

I will pray for you and your family Lil Red. My mom and her siblings basically fell apart after my grandma died. I think my mom is on speaking terms with one of her sisters-- she has 8 siblings. Most of the rest of the family is the same way. I can see how much it has hurt her... And I can only imagine that you would be going through the same confusion and hurt.

Many, many prayers for you. With Love, patience, and God's Grace... these hurts will heal.

Edited April 16, 2008 by Deus_te_Amat

[dUSt]

In my family, we show love via insults and cut downs. It's all a matter of perspective.

I don't know of a solution to your situation, but I do know the only thing that you truly have control over is how [b]you[/b] react to that situation, and how [b]you[/b] let it affect [b]you[/b].

So, take it as something out of your control and do your best to not allow it to influence you too much.

I know it's always the popular answer, but there is so much truth in the beginning of the Serenity Prayer, it's worth repeating:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

[BeenaBobba]

I will say a prayer for you.

[picchick]

I will offer my prayers and sufferings for you and your family. Hang in there Lil' Red. You are a strong woman. With God's help everything will work out for the better in the end.

[Archaeology cat]

Praying for you & your family, Red.

[farglefeezlebut]

*prayers*

*hugs*

[puellapaschalis]

I think I know how your sister feels. It's hard not to become bitter and even harder to stop being bitter.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
[quote name='Deus_te_Amat' post='1500581' date='Apr 15 2008, 11:36 PM']I will pray for you and your family Lil Red. My mom and her siblings basically fell apart after my grandma died. I think my mom is on speaking terms with one of her sisters-- she has 8 siblings. Most of the rest of the family is the same way. I can see how much it has hurt her... And I can only imagine that you would be going through the same confusion and hurt.

Many, many prayers for you. With Love, patience, and God's Grace... these hurts will heal.[/quote]thank you. i have 8 siblings, plus all of their partners/wives/husbands/etc. it adds up to 18 adults.


[quote name='dust (the ultra-handsome' post='1500584' date='Apr 15 2008, 11:59 PM']I don't know of a solution to your situation, but I do know the only thing that you truly have control over is how [b]you[/b] react to that situation, and how [b]you[/b] let it affect [b]you[/b].

So, take it as something out of your control and do your best to not allow it to influence you too much.[/quote]
how do i react though? i just want to call her and tell her i love her. i want to just bawl. i want to apologize to everyone for hurting them in anyway.
[quote name='BeenaBobba' post='1500589' date='Apr 16 2008, 12:33 AM']I will say a prayer for you.[/quote]
thank you.
[quote name='picchick' post='1500590' date='Apr 16 2008, 12:40 AM']I will offer my prayers and sufferings for you and your family. Hang in there Lil' Red. You are a strong woman. With God's help everything will work out for the better in the end.[/quote]
thank you
[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1500597' date='Apr 16 2008, 01:50 AM'] Praying for you & your family, Red.[/quote]
thank you.
[quote name='farglefeezlebut' post='1500599' date='Apr 16 2008, 02:33 AM']*prayers*

*hugs*[/quote]
thank you.
[quote name='puellapaschalis' post='1500610' date='Apr 16 2008, 03:32 AM']I think I know how your sister feels. It's hard not to become bitter and even harder to stop being bitter.[/quote]
how do i reach out to her then? how do i stop this madness?

[hoosieranna]

Sit and spin?

Seriously though, more prayers from this end, Red. Haven't been in your situation, and I don't want to. I only have one sister that needs to be mad before I'm out of luck.

[prose]

Sad.

I almost lost all connection with my sister over a party-planning snafu.

We still barely talk.

[CatherineM]

Sounds like my family. We pretty much fell apart when my father died. I never thought about him being the glue that held us together, but I guess he did. We've had lots of rifts between that brother, or that sister-in-law. I'd like to say it all works out, and there's a happy ending, but sometimes it doesn't. I hold onto the idea that when we are all freed from the pettiness of this life, that there will be an ultimate reconciliation.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
i know that many of the hurts (on many sides) are very old hurts. some stretching back when my sister was in her teen years. and i don't think any of them are petty. they may seem petty to one side or the other, but nobody's hurts are petty. i don't think my hurts are petty. i don't my sister thinks her hurts are petty.

i don't know how to reach out to her, she has stated she will not accept our phone calls, will not accept letters or email.

[Galloglasses]

Try visiting her? Talk to her friends and see if they can reason with her? Pray?

Thats about the height of what I can offer, next to my sufferings which i'll offer up for your family.

I'll pray a rosary or two for you, your sister and your family.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Galloglasses' post='1500870' date='Apr 16 2008, 11:24 AM']Try visiting her? Talk to her friends and see if they can reason with her? Pray?

Thats about the height of what I can offer, next to my sufferings which i'll offer up for your family.

I'll pray a rosary or two for you, your sister and your family.[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
thank you.