Autistic Child Banned From Catholic Church

[Jaime]

After warning, family of autistic teen attends different church

By LORA PABST, Star Tribune
Last update: May 19, 2008 - 5:48 AM




The mother of a 13-year-old autistic boy who was banned by a court order from attending services at a Roman Catholic church in Bertha, Minn., woke up Sunday determined to take her son to mass.

But Carol Race changed her mind when Todd County Sheriff Pete Mikkelson met her at the end of her driveway Sunday and told her she would be arrested if she brought her son, Adam, into the Church of St. Joseph.

Instead, Race took Adam and her four other children to mass at Christ the King Church in nearby Browerville, Minn. "It occurred to me that if I step foot in [St. Joseph], they will arrest me and I won't end up going to mass anyway," she said.

She is scheduled to appear in court today over a citation she received last week for violating the restraining order by taking Adam to church on Mother's Day.

The dispute has drawn attention to what Race and advocates for the disabled say is a lack of education and understanding about autism. Race said that even though her son, who is home-schooled, sometimes acts up in church, the experience benefits him.

"He has a sense of the routine," she said. "That's one of the beautiful things about the Catholic mass for autistic individuals, its routine."

The Rev. Daniel Walz, who did not return calls left at the Church of St. Joseph parish office, wrote in court documents that Adam's behavior was "extremely disruptive and dangerous." He alleged that Adam, who is more than 6 feet tall and weighs over 225 pounds, spits and urinates in church and has nearly injured children and elderly people.

In an affidavit, Walz wrote: "The parish members and I have been very patient and understanding. I have made repeated efforts through Catholic Education Ministries, Caritas Family Services, and most recently, sought to try and mediate the matter with the family to ask them to voluntarily not bring Adam to church, but it has been to no avail." The Diocese of St. Cloud said in a statement that the restraining order, issued May 9, was "a last resort."

Race said Walz's descriptions of Adam's behavior illustrate that he understands little about autistic behavior and how to address it. She said that Walz used language like "urinate" to describe an incontinence problem that Adam sometimes has which is no worse than that an elderly person or a young child might have.

Adam's parents sometimes tie his hands and feet with fabric restraints, which Race said is a technique used by other families and school personnel who work with autistic children. At Sunday's service in Browerville, Race said Adam participated in the service, kneeling with the congregation and accompanying family members when they went up front to take communion.

Carol Race said that her husband, John, attended mass at St. Joseph's on Saturday evening without his family and had stayed home Sunday morning because the family wanted to ensure that one parent would be available to care for the children if Carol were arrested.

The restraining order will remain in place for one year.

The Races haven't decided whether they will attend another parish. "My primary focus is to do the right thing, according to what God wants me to do," Carol Race said. "Without church every Sunday, my family life would have fallen apart. This is what sustains us."

Sheriff Mikkelson said he sent deputies to Sunday's service in case the Races tried to violate the restraining order.

"It was an uncomfortable thing, and we didn't want to get involved," he said. "She heeded our warning. Now, hopefully, this will get resolved through our courts."

[picchick]

I work with autistic boys at the Therapeutic Riding center I volunteer at. They are so misunderstood and it is so sad.

Autism has such a broad spectrum of severity too. This really saddens me that people cannot attempt to understand or learn about this disease.

[quote]The Rev. Daniel Walz, who did not return calls left at the Church of St. Joseph parish office, wrote in court documents that Adam's behavior was "extremely disruptive and dangerous."[/quote]
I wonder if he bans babies and small children from Church too. I wonder if he bans women from wearing short skirts and low cut tops. I wonder if he bans people leaving the Church to use the bathroom during consecration and his homily...
Those too are also disruptive.

These families need the support of their community and especially of their Church. This is extremely maddening to me. Edited May 19, 2008 by picchick

[CatherineM]

My mother in law is banned from all three Catholic churches in the college town they live in. She has schizophrenia and possibly borderline personality disorder, and refuses to be properly medicated. The final straw was when she made cinnamon rolls in the shape of a male appendage and gave them to all the priests in town. She also likes to scream and flash people. I could see that disrupting the mass. When she takes her medicine, she is as normal as any of us, she just doesn't like the idea of anyone telling her what to do.

[alicemary]

It is very difficult not to be judgemental, but we can't be. We don't know the facts. We are not talking about a child here, but a rather large person. I, too, have worked with children like this, and it is a very difficult situation for all involved. If this person is spiting at people or urinating on them, then no, he is not controlled enough to be out in such a public setting.
I have a family member who has a disability, and believe me, I am not being hard hearted. Some places we just did not take him. And it was for his benefit as well as those who would be near us. Church was one such place.
For someone to be outright banned from the church, his behavior must have been pretty bad, especially if the law is involved. The mother is trying to make a point, but is not really helping.

[Roamin Catholic]

Thats the diocese of St Cloud for you......I'll leave the rest to my fiancee if she feels like adding to it...All I know is that it's a very "interesting" diocese

[cathoholic_anonymous]

I'm autistic. Like the boy in the article, I'm incontinent some of the time. I have wet myself on trains, buses, in the supermarket, in my bed, in the street, and yes, in church. You get the general picture. Worse is when I poo myself, but I won't go into that. It's not deliberate. Incontinence in autistic people is caused by sensory processing difficulties that lead to extremely poor body awareness (unlike most people, I don't feel my body's signals when it tries to tell me that my bladder is full). There is a big difference between saying that somebody is incontinent in church and saying that they urinate in church. The second one implies that we do it on purpose, and we don't.

Other autistic people have facial tics, which can cause spitting or unusual grimaces. I have the unusual grimaces. I don't spit. It is not easy to control - a lot of the time I'm not even aware that I'm making strange faces.

It's easier for me than for non-verbal autistic people. I can explain what my difficulties are and what causes them. Non-verbal autistic boys like Adam can't explain - at least not in speech. (I should add here that I know some non-verbal autistics who can communicate very effectively in other ways.) So people look at them and make assumptions about them, and they're powerless to respond - except, in some cases, by getting visibly angry and frustrated.

Autistic people need to pray and grow closer to God just as much as anybody else. I can appreciate that it is a safety hazard to have a six-foot man flailing about in church. Why not let him sit in the foyer or in a room to one side? There are special rooms for children and babies at some churches. Why not rooms for disabled people who can't manage to remain in the nave throughout Mass? What is needed is not exclusion or pity, but a little more understanding and some creative ways to get round the problems caused by such a situation.

[quote name='picchick' post='1533421' date='May 19 2008, 05:25 PM']Autism has such a broad spectrum of severity too. This really saddens me that people cannot attempt to understand or learn about this disease. I wonder if he bans babies and small children from Church too. I wonder if he bans women from wearing short skirts and low cut tops. I wonder if he bans people leaving the Church to use the bathroom during consecration and his homily...Those too are also disruptive.

These families need the support of their community and especially of their Church. This is extremely maddening to me.[/quote]

I agree with you 100%, apart from one thing. Technically, autism is not a disease or an illness. It's a disorder. It may not sound as though there is a difference, but there is quite a significant one - diseases are usually contagious (autism isn't) and they appear over time (autism is developmental).

Edited May 19, 2008 by Cathoholic Anonymous

[Jaime]

[quote name='Roamin_Catholic' post='1533480' date='May 19 2008, 12:06 PM']Thats the diocese of St Cloud for you......I'll leave the rest to my fiancee if she feels like adding to it...All I know is that it's a very "interesting" diocese[/quote]

Yes its common knowledge (especially to people from tennessee) that the diocese of St Cloud hates special needs people.


/sarcasm


And there is a difference between being disruptive and being physically violent.

[HisChildForever]

The parish is just concerned for its parishoners. The article does say that Adam has "nearly injured" people! And, he is a pretty big guy.

[picchick]

[quote name='Cathoholic Anonymous' post='1533484' date='May 19 2008, 12:13 PM']I agree with you 100%, apart from one thing. Technically, autism is not a disease or an illness. It's a disorder. It may not sound as though there is a difference, but there is quite a significant one - diseases are usually contagious (autism isn't) and they appear over time (autism is developmental).[/quote]

I am sorry...I should have used disorder...I just committed the mistake my teacher told us not to. There is a great difference and I should have used disorder. Sorry. You are right

[Deb]

The ranges of what is considered being autistic are very wide.

I find it hard to believe that the Priest of this church went to the trouble to get a restraining order if the actions of this child were not serious enough to warrant it. I doubt he needed any bad publicity for the church.

The mother is obviously aware of how the childs actions are if she has to restrain his hands and feet at times. If she wishes to partake of the Eucharist, I am sure arrangements can be made for her and her child to receive in their home.
When small children start screaming and kicking etc in church, their parents pick them up and take them out. If that cannot be done with this child, he should not be in church.

It doesn't really make a difference what his disorder is, it is the behavior that is being presented. If someone urinated on me at church, I would take them out myself.

Edited May 19, 2008 by Deb

[Brother Adam]

It sounds like the parish has tried consistently to work with them and this really is a last resort. Having a family member with autism I feel bad for this family, but at the same time I can understand other parishioners fearing for their safety at Mass if this young man is prone to violent outbursts.

[Autumn Dusk]

double post

Edited May 19, 2008 by Autumn Dusk

[Autumn Dusk]

I think the fact that legal action had to be saught is good reason to suspect that there is more going on here.

Judges hate (don't hate, appreciate) frivolous suits.

Its hard for a pastor...I mean on one hand he must serve the handicapped on the otherhand he has to protect his flock.

A 225 pound male over 6 feet who often needs to be restrained can be a danger. I work with a 7 year old autistic girl...she's not even four foot but she once hit a healthy adult so hard she dislocated their shoulder. I'm not saying that this is the case here but the fact is that this is an issue. Most times she was decently behaved.

I know in one parish an autistic boy had erratic behavior and the priest asked he not be brought to crowded services, as the disruption, danger and chaos were too much. He asked that they come during daily mass services where they could give the boy proper space and not ask of him to stay a 45-50 minute church service. I think he contacted the bishop in order to give the family a dispensation to allow them to do so.

And spitting, while you know the kid isn't carrying horrible diseases, can still be a danger to elderly and those with compromised immune systems...at the very least he should be spitting distance away from strangers.

And in defense of the priest it sounds like he made good effort to work with this family to do something about the situation.

[Altari]

Any child that is exhibiting disruptive behavior should be removed from Worship services (no matter what your denomination). It's simply a matter of appreciating the desire of others to commune in peace.

I think it's very selfish of this mother to be so callous towards the needs of others. Simply because something is "good" for your child, doesn't mean others need to suffer for it. It's unfortunate that she can't bring her son to service, but I strongly dislike the idea that it's somehow a "misunderstanding" of the disorder. The reasons hardly matter if the actions are routinely disturbing a faithful moment.

[Alycin]

The first time I ever went to Mass I sat behind a family who had an autistic little girl. She was probably about 4. She made a lot of noise during the service and probably was "disturbing" a lot of people but she was so cute and such a blessing to me.

I think there ought to be a "cry room" in every church so that people can still be there, but without disturbing others.

(For the record--I have worked with a child with autism before and he is still one of my favorite people. )

[goldenchild17]

maybe I missed it (I tend to sometimes) but if the problem is him acting up and causing disruption in church, then why is he allowed to go to other services? Does he only cause problems at a Catholic Church?

[Alycin]

[quote name='goldenchild17' post='1533626' date='May 19 2008, 02:41 PM']maybe I missed it (I tend to sometimes) but if the problem is him acting up and causing disruption in church, then why is he allowed to go to other services? Does he only cause problems at a Catholic Church?[/quote]

he may be going to another catholic church in the area... or a different church altogether.



some churches are more tolerant than others

[goldenchild17]

okay. I took it that it was the authorities' decision. So their particular Catholic Church took out a restraining order on him? hmm

[Malachi Crunch]

I would like to hear both sides of the stroy as newspaper articles rarely capture the entire lanscape of a story.

The priest certainly has to right to protect his flock, even if that means he is protecting the flock [i]from [/i]the flock. But the priest has no right to deny the boy mass or the eucharist. It sounds as if some options have been presented to the parents, but without any results.

[goldenchild17]

[quote name='Malachi Crunch' post='1533645' date='May 19 2008, 01:51 PM']I would like to hear both sides of the stroy as newspaper articles rarely capture the entire lanscape of a story.

The priest certainly has to right to protect his flock, even if that means he is protecting the flock [i]from [/i]the flock. But the priest has no right to deny the boy mass or the eucharist. It sounds as if some options have been presented to the parents, but without any results.[/quote]

if that's the case then I wouldn't mind so much, but I'd like to see this.