TeresaBenedicta Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Yes. People make mistakes. He'd have to be committed to "no sex before marriage" when we're in a relationship, though. And, considering I'd want to marry a nice practicing Catholic guy, he'd probably be adhering to the appropriate morality. Basic point: I'm not going to hold past mistakes against a current relationship.
picchick Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Honestly it would depend on the person's character. If he is a player then no. I would not. That I believe would just set myself up to heartache. I don't think that the relationship would last long though because he wouldn't be getting anything from me and he would quickly move on. However, I think that people make mistakes. If they are forgiven, then who am I to not forgive them? If they respect me, then they are not going to push me. I will know where there heart is as I get to know him more. I will probably refine this better as more people post though. Meg
sdenko Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 [quote name='rachael' post='1571302' date='Jun 14 2008, 06:13 PM']I'm curious.[/quote] [quote]Author and speaker Brennan Manning tells the story of a woman who visited her priest and told him that when she prays, she sees Jesus in a vision. “He appears to me as real as you are standing here right now, Father,” said the woman. “And he speaks to me. He tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me. Do you think I’m crazy?” “Not at all,” replied the priest. “But to make sure it is really Jesus who is visiting you, I want you to ask him a question when he appears to you again. Ask him to tell you the sins that I confessed to him in confession. Then come back and tell me what he said.” A few days later the women returned. “Did you have another vision of Jesus?” the priest inquired of her. “Yes I did Father,” she replied. “And did you ask him to tell you the sins that I confessed to him while I was in confession?” “Yes I did,” the woman answered. “And what did he tell you?” asked the priest expectantly. “He said…‘[b]I forgot[/b].’”[/quote] If someone has done something (whether willingly or unwillingly) to no longer be a virigin, that was in the past. I will forget the choices that that person has made because Christ has. That being said, if the individual CONTINUES to be promiscious, well, I can't say I'd be terribly attracted to them based upon their character in the first place. But if the person has recognized the need to stop and to repent and to make an effort to turn away from the sin (in the case that they are choosing to have sex) then I will see that they have character because they recognize the sinfulness of their actions.
picchick Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I should add though, that I pray that God will send me the right guy. I am not going to turn down someone who God has given me because of past mistakes. Heck, I have made some too. Maybe it wasn't having sex before but they were still mistakes that he will have to forgive.
Noel's angel Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Of course. I wouldn't marry anyone who did not have the same views as I do about human sexuality, but that does not mean I wouldn't marry someone who had once made a mistake, or someone who was raised in an environment where sexual morality was not taught. If you want to marry someone, you are doing it because of the person they are now.
HisChildForever Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I agree with everyone - people make mistakes. What if he lost his virgnity when he was, for example, an athiest, but has since converted to Catholicism and is a very devout Catholic now? It's a real complicated question. (Not my example, the original question, lol.) [quote]Heck, I have made some too. Maybe it wasn't having sex before but they were still mistakes that he will have to forgive.[/quote] Agreed.
Farsight one Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I would have absolutely no problem with it. I must say I'd prefer a virgin, but if God called me to someone else (which He most likely is), it would be ok with me.
fides quarens intellectum Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 yes; i'm wondering if anyone would voice a dissenting opinion.
MissScripture Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I think there was a thread like this before (quite a while back) and some people did then, but I don't know if they're around PM anymore. And my answer is that I would. It's like Meg said, we've all done things that we need to be forgiven for.
sdenko Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 [quote name='Farsight one' post='1571350' date='Jun 14 2008, 07:43 PM']I would have absolutely no problem with it. I must say I'd prefer a virgin, but if God called me to someone else (which He most likely is), it would be ok with me.[/quote] That reminds me of the prophet who God called to marry a prostitute (albeit, that would be a wee bit different since she was still cheating on him). Haggai and Gomer? Or Hosea and Gomer... Can't remember. Anyway.
Faith 1st Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Yes I would I think young adults who tell themselves that they would not are kidding themselves. There are not too many people that go into a relationship that are virgins if they are in college or the working world. If you are (a virgin) that is great. But I do not think that you will find many people who are. If you are telling yourself that you will only marry a virgin yourself, then it might take you awhile to find one. Not to mention that you might miss out of your soul mate. Virginity it a private matter and if you start questioning someone about the past you might upset yourself about something that you have no control over (or that you could change even if you wanted to).
Farsight one Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 [quote name='sdenko' post='1571389' date='Jun 14 2008, 08:22 PM']That reminds me of the prophet who God called to marry a prostitute (albeit, that would be a wee bit different since she was still cheating on him). Haggai and Gomer? Or Hosea and Gomer... Can't remember. Anyway.[/quote]She cheated on him six times, and six times he was going to leave her, and six times God told him to give her another chance. And then she was faithful and they lived happily ever after. I remind myself of that story every day.
CatherineM Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I was, he wasn't. I knew he wasn't since he had been previously married, divorced, and annulled. He had been completely celibate after his divorce until our marriage, and that was important to me.
rachael Posted June 15, 2008 Author Posted June 15, 2008 [quote name='MissScripture' post='1571367' date='Jun 14 2008, 08:09 PM']I think there was a thread like this before (quite a while back) and some people did then, but I don't know if they're around PM anymore. [/quote] This is partly why I am asking again. I looked for that thread, but was unable to find it, so I decided to start a new debate on it. Besides, people's opinions may have changed.
Paladin D Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Yes. I wouldn't hold past mistakes against them. I don't think I need to repeat anything else that others here have already covered.
Norseman82 Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 (edited) No, because we wouldn't be equals in that part of our lives. Edited June 15, 2008 by Norseman82
Farsight one Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 [quote name='Norseman82' post='1571582' date='Jun 15 2008, 12:55 AM']No, because we wouldn't be equals in that part of our lives.[/quote]She can have kids and you can't (or if you're female, flip it) You're not equal in that part of your lives and there's no way to become so. I'm just trying to understand your logic here...
reyb Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Will you love a demolish woman? Will you trust an irresponsible lady who does not know how to hold a relationship? Will you cherish a girl who has been a playgirl and girlfriend of all your friends? Will I marry her? Ah Yes, I will, if I love her. But, I am not stupid and I prefer to marry a woman who loves me as her first and last and nobody in between. Nevertheless, in this world, it is just a dream – therefore, be my girlfriend and do not ask me about marriage.
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