You Thought That Order Was For You, But It Isn't ....?

[water]

Although I had recently started to look into my vocation, in the last 2 years, I thought I am attractive to Franciscan. However, the more I pray and see in my heart, it isn't for me, and right now, I think I see myself more towards the Redemptorists for more important key reasons.

Did this happen to you?

[Gemma]

[quote name='water' post='1700480' date='Nov 13 2008, 03:04 AM']Although I had recently started to look into my vocation, in the last 2 years, I thought I am attractive to Franciscan. However, the more I pray and see in my heart, it isn't for me, and right now, I think I see myself more towards the Redemptorists for more important key reasons.

Did this happen to you?[/quote]


It happens all the time. That's why discernment can take years--unless you walk onto the property and "you just know" that your vocation is at that particular institution.

Discernment is also the development of your relationship with God.

Keep in mind that grace builds on nature, and that the Holy Ghost works on attraction.

Blessings,
Gemma

[Mari Therese]

When I first started discerning, I only visited the convent with the intention of "proving" to God that I didn't have a call to religious life

THEN, I was discerning between the Daughters of St. Paul and SOLI. I totally thought that I was going to enter the Paulines, but after a series of events, I ended up getting steered towards SOLI.

Funny how God works, ain't it?

[shortnun]

Definitely has happened to me! I truly loved a community--the sisters, their way of life, their apostolate--yet just didn't see myself there. I had to wrestle with God over why he was calling me to them. But in the end, that wasn't where I was called seeing as I'm applying to a totally different community. The important part, for me anyway, is to see how God was working in and through me during my whole discernment process. Had I not discerned with the first community how would I ever have decided to apply to "my" community?!

God is good!!

[Carmeliteheart726]

Oh, yeah, definitely has happened to me too. I thought for a long time that I was called to the same order my friend is joining--the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in St. Louis, MO. I went to meet her at their vocation retreat this year, and though I loved it, I did not feel like it was where I was going to end up. I prayed to God because I was concerned that I did not have a calling at all, but I was wrong. I did have a calling! It was just to the cloistered, contemplative life of the Discalced Carmelite nuns! I knew that being a Carmelite was where I was called because that was the only part that felt right to me.

I am looking at mostly traditional orders within the OCD order:

Buffalo, NY
Brooklyn, NY
Philadelphia, PA
Iron Mountain, MI (I have an inkling of suspicion that this is where I will end up)
San Francisco, CA (Cristo Rey)
Arlington, TX

[toservelove]

Yes, and yes...I even did an aspirancy with one group. After I sold my house and most of my goods, and quit my job, I had a little crisis and realized that it was not the group I was called to. While there I kept feeling that God was asking me if this was where [b]I[/b] wanted to be. I thought it meant I just needed to "give in" or something. Now I realize God was trying to get me to trust my feelings and my heart instead of my brain. Anyway I just finished an aspirancy to another group and hope to be there in January. Just think of this as a time where you are building your trust in God. Trust Him even when it doesn't make sense.

[Gemma]

[quote name='Carmeliteheart726' post='1700562' date='Nov 13 2008, 11:54 AM']Oh, yeah, definitely has happened to me too. I thought for a long time that I was called to the same order my friend is joining--the Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus in St. Louis, MO. I went to meet her at their vocation retreat this year, and though I loved it, I did not feel like it was where I was going to end up. I prayed to God because I was concerned that I did not have a calling at all, but I was wrong. I did have a calling! It was just to the cloistered, contemplative life of the Discalced Carmelite nuns! I knew that being a Carmelite was where I was called because that was the only part that felt right to me.

I am looking at mostly traditional orders within the OCD order:

Buffalo, NY
Brooklyn, NY
Philadelphia, PA
Iron Mountain, MI (I have an inkling of suspicion that this is where I will end up)
San Francisco, CA (Cristo Rey)
Arlington, TX[/quote]

If you're really and truly feeling called to Carmel, please work on your detachment. This is the one quality that will get you in faster to any Carmel--or any monastery for that matter.

Blessings,
Gemma

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='Gemma' post='1700587' date='Nov 13 2008, 12:29 PM']If you're really and truly feeling called to Carmel, please work on your detachment. This is the one quality that will get you in faster to any Carmel--or any monastery for that matter.

Blessings,
Gemma[/quote]

I am constantly working on that! That's my one true weakness in life, is not being able to go without. But I am getting better. I am learning how to focus my energy and love on Jesus more than anything else. I have a Carmelite heart!

[RosaMystica]

[quote name='Carmeliteheart726' post='1700562' date='Nov 13 2008, 10:54 AM']Iron Mountain, MI (I have an inkling of suspicion that this is where I will end up)[/quote]

I know a girl who just entered there in October!

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='MandyKhatoon' post='1700925' date='Nov 13 2008, 10:47 PM']I know a girl who just entered there in October![/quote]

Awesome! That's good to know that it appeals to other young women and that maybe I'll have a chance. God bless!

[SaviorsChild]

It happened to me as well... at first, I thought God wanted me to become a mother of many many children - but then during a longer period of time I felt the strong call to be a cistercian nun!
But as soon as I visited the convents, I just knew this was not my place. Very nice convents though!
And now I "ended up" as a consecrated virgin - and I´m so happy about it.
God even granted me the many children - as a teacher...

Edited November 14, 2008 by SaviorsChild

[EWIE]

[quote name='Gemma' date='Nov 13 2008, 12:29 PM' post='1700587']
If you're really and truly feeling called to Carmel, please work on your detachment. This is the one quality that will get you in faster to any Carmel--or any monastery for that matter.

Gemma dear, since each Carmelite Community is an essence of and in itself, perhaps you would do the favor of describing exactly how YOU understand the meaning of what you are referring to as detachment.
Thank you.

[praying4carmel]

Oh, I love this Topic!!!

I was so Heart Set on the Carmelites only to have Our Lord clearly send me to the Benedictines! Ha Ha Ha! I'm going to have to come up with a new screen name....

So, I am: "A Carmelite in St. Benedicts House"... I may use that as my book title if I ever write a book on this experience.

God Loves us so much and really wants us to be willing instruments. I visited several places in my discernment process. I wrote to several more, and had active correspondence with them. As the process moved along, the "weeding out" process thru listening to His direction became clearer.

It was fun to discern. I am grateful that I had a SD and paced myself well. I also got alot of insight by paying attention to what people said my gifts were. Also the Sisters at BOTH Monasteries were Loving and patient with me and not "grabby". They truly wanted what the Lord wanted for me and not "just another Vocation". That sounds harsh but it is true that some places are desperate...

I have Zero regrets about being a Carmelite, because I feel and know that I obeyed God's will for me. His decision has panned out better when I am reflective over the last 2 years better than I could ever have planned.

Good Luck in your discernment, and May God Bless you richly!
+
Postulant Nancy

[she_who_is_not]

God is very, very good to us all.

[the lords sheep]

Yup. Happened to me.... I was set on being a Sister of Life, but that's not what God has in store for me! I'm still battling His choice (just a bit... oh, my pride...) but I'm pretty at peace with where he is leading me!
But in short, it's quite normal! Just hang on for the ride and trust in Him!!!

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='water' post='1700480' date='Nov 12 2008, 11:04 PM']Although I had recently started to look into my vocation, in the last 2 years, I thought I am attractive to Franciscan. However, the more I pray and see in my heart, it isn't for me, and right now, I think I see myself more towards the Redemptorists for more important key reasons.

Did this happen to you?[/quote]

many times. each new one seems like they're for me, but then i go home and learn more about myself as i compare each visit. then i visit again, and it only proves what i was thinking. now i'm taking care of things at home while i decide which "key reasons" really makes the most sense, as well as staying open to anything new that comes my way. when the time comes i will just make a decision and jump in, while realizing that they may not be my final destination, but trust they are at least a good first step.

i'm going to make a list of pros and cons of each one, rating each thing in importance and grouping into categories, so i can see with my eyes which one is really standing out. then go into adoration and listen for God's voice. then go over the list again. then talk to my spiritual director. then pray and reserve the airplane ticket

Edited November 23, 2008 by johnnydigit

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Gemma' post='1700530' date='Nov 13 2008, 04:34 AM']Keep in mind that grace builds on nature, and that the Holy Ghost works on attraction.

Blessings,
Gemma[/quote]

can you expound on this? sounds very interesting..

[Carmeliteheart726]

I just got back from an awesome retreat this weekend! I was blessed to be in the company of so many holy religious. The CFR friars and sisters were there as were the Sisters of Life and the Servant Sisters of the Home of the Mother. I was so moved by the CFRs again this year, that I am wondering if I should reassess my discernment and find out if I am truly called to the Carmelites, or if I am called to the CFR sisters. I discerned joining their order early on my discernment and now I think I might discern them again. I know, if I was a man, I would join the Friars in a heartbeat, LOL. They are so amazing! Especially Fr. Glenn and Fr. Gabriel Mary.

[johnnydigit]

[quote name='Carmeliteheart726' post='1709217' date='Nov 23 2008, 09:52 PM']I just got back from an awesome retreat this weekend! I was blessed to be in the company of so many holy religious. The CFR friars and sisters were there as were the Sisters of Life and the Servant Sisters of the Home of the Mother. I was so moved by the CFRs again this year, that I am wondering if I should reassess my discernment and find out if I am truly called to the Carmelites, or if I am called to the CFR sisters. I discerned joining their order early on my discernment and now I think I might discern them again. I know, if I was a man, I would join the Friars in a heartbeat, LOL. They are so amazing! Especially Fr. Glenn and Fr. Gabriel Mary.[/quote]

same here! i've been thinking about them again lately too..

[Carmeliteheart726]

[quote name='johnnydigit' post='1709434' date='Nov 24 2008, 10:19 AM']same here! i've been thinking about them again lately too..[/quote]

LOL, I'll tell you, this discernment thing is not easy at all! I thought I was so sure, but I think I was wrong! I am so moved by the CFRs that I would consider it a blessing and privilege to join the Sisters. Their ministry is amazing and I love the fact that they are both active and contemplative. I was planning to visit the Brooklyn Carmelite monastery this next year, and I think I will visit the CFR sisters as well since the Bronx is close by. Hopefully, I will get clarity somehow. I also plan to go to Mass this week as well as Adoration. I think I have a Carmelite heart, but a Franciscan soul and vocation, LOL.