Tinkerlina Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='philothea' post='1753608' date='Jan 17 2009, 02:05 AM']This was discussed elsewhere recently. As long as all the parts are there, and the couple has the desire to someday consummate the marriage, I believe the ceremony can be performed. Until the marriage is consummated (and the requirement for this is -- without going into great detail -- very easily achieved) it's not valid. But then, like Catherine said, if it's not consummated, nobody is doing anything wrong and it doesn't matter.[/quote] If you are able to find where it was discussed before, please post as I'd like to see whate everyone had to say. Thanks for your explanation, it's making it a bit clearer Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philothea Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='Tinkerlina' post='1753610' date='Jan 17 2009, 01:07 AM']If you are able to find where it was discussed before, please post as I'd like to see whate everyone had to say. Thanks for your explanation, it's making it a bit clearer Katie[/quote] It was here: [url="http://community.livejournal.com/catholicism/2103202.html"]http://community.livejournal.com/catholicism/2103202.html[/url] (The community is a very mixed bag in general, but these answers seemed to be good.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinkerlina Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='philothea' post='1753614' date='Jan 17 2009, 02:17 AM']It was here: [url="http://community.livejournal.com/catholicism/2103202.html"]http://community.livejournal.com/catholicism/2103202.html[/url] (The community is a very mixed bag in general, but these answers seemed to be good.)[/quote] Thanks Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='Tinkerlina' post='1753404' date='Jan 17 2009, 03:44 AM']Wow, it sounds like you have a play by play of your future on your desk calendar! ;)I think using NFP here is certainly acceptable-babies are very expensive and getting on your feet is tough enough! -Katie[/quote] Babies are only as expensive as you make them. In general, at least. I know there are out-of-pocket medical costs associated with pregnancy & labour in the US, so I suppose that's a consideration. [quote name='havok579257' post='1753560' date='Jan 17 2009, 05:30 AM']Don't listen to anyone who says if your not financially ready for a kid, don't get married. That is some of the worst advice ever. If God calls you to be with that person, then marry them. Denying God's plan for you to save up more money is still rejection of God's will. Me and my wife got married when I was still in school. We lived off of a her salary, a teachers salary for over a year. We has lots of debt when school was finally over and we had to tighten out belts during that year. Although Never once did it ever cross my mind to finish school and become better financially set before marrying my sole mate. God wanted me to marry her and I trust him to know whats best for me. God didn't want me to wait a year or two to get my finances in check, he wanted me to marry her and follow HIS plan for me.[/quote] It could also be that, once married, you & your spouse decide that you can go ahead & try, even though you'd initially thought you'd have to wait 2 years. Or you could just decide to not completely follow the rules one month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1753642' date='Jan 17 2009, 01:25 AM']Babies are only as expensive as you make them. In general, at least. I know there are out-of-pocket medical costs associated with pregnancy & labour in the US, so I suppose that's a consideration.[/quote] However here is a huge cost to consider... there is either daycare, which I never want to have to put my child into, or dropping to a one income family (since we wouldn't initially be living near relatives that could take care of the kids). The drop from two to one income is extremely large. So while the cost of the baby him/herself isn't problematic, the drop in income or the cost of childcare would be. Also, there are definite costs of a baby, so while you can make your spending limited (cheap clothes, nursing, etc) there still is spending no matter what. [quote]It could also be that, once married, you & your spouse decide that you can go ahead & try, even though you'd initially thought you'd have to wait 2 years. Or you could just decide to not completely follow the rules one month. [/quote] Yes, I've thought of that too . Newly weds may not always want to abstain when NFP is telling them to lol... If there were a real desire to have a child, or a real calling from God to drop NFP, people ought to drop it like a hot potato. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='Slappo' post='1753711' date='Jan 17 2009, 05:06 PM']However here is a huge cost to consider... there is either daycare, which I never want to have to put my child into, or dropping to a one income family (since we wouldn't initially be living near relatives that could take care of the kids). The drop from two to one income is extremely large. So while the cost of the baby him/herself isn't problematic, the drop in income or the cost of childcare would be. Also, there are definite costs of a baby, so while you can make your spending limited (cheap clothes, nursing, etc) there still is spending no matter what.[/quote] I don't deny that, just saying it doesn't have to be uber expensive. I'm a SAHM in part because I didn't want to use a day care if at all possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1753713' date='Jan 17 2009, 09:16 AM']I don't deny that, just saying it doesn't have to be uber expensive. I'm a SAHM in part because I didn't want to use a day care if at all possible.[/quote] Well... the cost of a full yearly income is as much as 40k a year.... in lowering income alone... thats pretty uber expensive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='Slappo' post='1753714' date='Jan 17 2009, 05:17 PM']Well... the cost of a full yearly income is as much as 40k a year.... in lowering income alone... thats pretty uber expensive...[/quote] I would love to have ever made that salary. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 (edited) [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1753715' date='Jan 17 2009, 09:20 AM']I would love to have ever made that salary. . .[/quote] a lot of it depends on the state and what field of work your degree is in. I live in Alaska where cost of living is super high and 40k a year hardly gets you by EDIT: And with a business/accounting degree, starting salaries are around 60k, both my parents (separated) make about 60k a year each... highschool students make $10 an hour plus tips Edited January 17, 2009 by Slappo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1753603' date='Jan 17 2009, 12:58 AM']Unless you are applying for Canadian Immigration, then they practically want pictures.[/quote] Uhh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 Well hey... if your mormon... they used to want to watch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 EWWW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 eww is right... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MithLuin Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 This conversation is probably veering into the 'adult'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggamafu Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 ***Note: did not read this whole thread, just responding to the OP*** It sounds like you're not married, yet? If so, then don't get married until you have the capability to provide for your family. Finish up what you have to. Problem solved. You don't get married to have sex, you get marriage to expand charity; self-sacrificial love, which is most fully known in the trials and sufferings that come with the blessings (and unfathomable love) of children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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