Courting/dating.

[Vasilius Konstantinos]

I dig the concept of courting. I have four girls. I pray for God's divine intervention when it comes to the scenario of me on a porch with a shotgun as some kid comes up to take my daughter out. It bothers me.

I do believe that when someone dates my daughter that he date the family too. Like his dates should be with the whole family and not just him and my daughter. He should be invited to family outings as dates and not some dark movie theatre. This I find as a good alternative to the whole dating scenario.

[CatherineM]

[quote name='Vasilius Konstantinos' post='1910684' date='Jul 4 2009, 11:37 AM']I dig the concept of courting. I have four girls. I pray for God's divine intervention when it comes to the scenario of me on a porch with a shotgun as some kid comes up to take my daughter out. It bothers me.

I do believe that when someone dates my daughter that he date the family too. Like his dates should be with the whole family and not just him and my daughter. He should be invited to family outings as dates and not some dark movie theatre. This I find as a good alternative to the whole dating scenario.[/quote]

With 5 older brothers, and a dad who had been a spy (Think Meet the Frockers), I had trouble even having a male friend over to do homework. They'd practically be frisked at the door.


I can't imagine trying to date someone who said they weren't interested in getting serious.

[Angel*Star]

[quote name='Vasilius Konstantinos' post='1910684' date='Jul 4 2009, 12:37 PM']I dig the concept of courting. I have four girls. I pray for God's divine intervention when it comes to the scenario of me on a porch with a shotgun as some kid comes up to take my daughter out. It bothers me.

I do believe that when someone dates my daughter that he date the family too. Like his dates should be with the whole family and not just him and my daughter. He should be invited to family outings as dates and not some dark movie theatre. This I find as a good alternative to the whole dating scenario.[/quote]


I agree with "dating the family". I think if a guy doesn't want to be with her family, the girl should run, run as fast as she can. I believe it is a sign of trouble, my friend. I have seen it happen on several occasions. He never wanted to be around family before marriage. Then she is shocked when after marriage she is going to family functions by herself or not at all. Then I find out there is abuse in the marriage.

[picchick]

[quote name='Angel*Star' post='1910856' date='Jul 4 2009, 06:04 PM']I agree with "dating the family". I think if a guy doesn't want to be with her family, the girl should run, run as fast as she can. I believe it is a sign of trouble, my friend. I have seen it happen on several occasions. He never wanted to be around family before marriage. Then she is shocked when after marriage she is going to family functions by herself or not at all. Then I find out there is abuse in the marriage. [/quote]
Agreed. Family is a part of me. In a marriage, it is not just a joining of two people but of two families. Maybe the families will not get along but the guy must want to be with my family and respect them. Sure, they maybe crazy at times but they are my life.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Vasilius Konstantinos' post='1910684' date='Jul 4 2009, 10:37 AM']I dig the concept of courting. I have four girls. I pray for God's divine intervention when it comes to the scenario of me on a porch with a shotgun as some kid comes up to take my daughter out. It bothers me.

I do believe that when someone dates my daughter that he date the family too. Like his dates should be with the whole family and not just him and my daughter. He should be invited to family outings as dates and not some dark movie theatre. This I find as a good alternative to the whole dating scenario.[/quote]
I would say it's a good supplement to the dating one-on-one scenario rather than an alternative. I think it is important for one-on-one opportunities as a part of the discernment process. As has been noted earlier in this thread, people act differently when other people are around. My husband, for example, has six sisters. If I'd exclusively dated his family, I would never know what his voice sounded like.

I think balance is important. Family is an important aid in discerning whether marriage is appropriate in a given relationship, and family relationships are a reality after marriage in a way most people don't appreciate. Plus family dynamics tell you a lot about a person and what they're going to be like as you build your own family together. But one-on-one time, especially when seriously discerning marriage, also aids in discernment.