Anyone Else Ever Feel Like This?

[icelandic_iceskater]

blahhhh. lately I've been feeling quite exasperated. My mind is so finite... There is so much out there that my fogged reason cannot comprehend... and cannot be believe without a faith that I apparently do not have. There are those ideas that are impossible to wrap my mind around... Like time. << that's been a big one recently. I don't know how to believe certain things... but I want nothing more for everything I've taught to be true! But maybe that's where trust comes in- where there is no faith. I dunno.

These past couple weeks it's been becoming too much... like the possibility that what the church teaches just might not be true... that the material world is all there is. It makes me pretty anxious. And I realize that the desire I have for all of this to be true should be proof enough that it is... but my mind keeps questioning.

Does anyone else ever feel like that?

Knowing rationally that there is Truth out there... and that ideas exist! There is a reality! But constantly questioning what this Truth is. It seems impossible to ever know for sure. Which I guess makes perfect sense, since for our human minds it is impossible. But just to believe in these Truths must be taken by a faith which I evidently do not have... sometimes it makes me feel sick.

I dunno. This anxiety & frustration has been reoccurring for awhile know, and I don't know how to get past it. I'm sure I'm not the only one on phatmass who has felt like this...

[cmotherofpirl]

at least once a week...

[philothea]

Yeah, like Cmom said, it's pretty much constant. There's an ongoing "oh you have GOT to be kidding me" thing that goes on in the back of my head. If it gets bad enough, I start over from the beginning -- now why do I believe all this is true again? And then I can settle down for a bit, though the incredulous doubting part never really goes silent.

I think people who don't struggle with their faith aren't actually thinking about it.

[DevotedtoHim]

yes, all the time.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='icelandic_iceskater' post='1917648' date='Jul 11 2009, 10:52 PM']It seems impossible to ever know for sure.[/quote]
That's what's called faith.

And trust me, I know - saying it and having/keeping/building it are two different things.
You'll be in my intentions at Mass tomorrow

[mcts]

twin.

[Archaeology cat]

I understand. I used to be really bad about it, to the point that I could even get really panicked and break out in a cold sweat. I'm much better about it now, but there are still days.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1917799' date='Jul 12 2009, 09:48 AM']I understand. I used to be really bad about it, to the point that I could even get really panicked and break out in a cold sweat. I'm much better about it now, but there are still days.[/quote]

Same.

I worked with a director on it. One thing I found helpful was recognizing these as temptations from the Evil One. That's all they were-- temptations. And I had the choice, I could either allow myself to be swept up into a state of anxiety with them, or I could call on our Lord and refuse them entry.

Granted, it sure wasn't easy at first. It seemed like the moment the temptations came up, I was already swallowed up in them. It didn't feel like I even had that choice. And it was so very difficult to take a step of faith when the temptation was against faith.

After time I have been able to handle the days when the doubts and temptations against faith come up. But it's been a tough battle.

My director suggested the Act of Faith prayer to say, but that didn't help me much. Maybe it will for you. I usually went with "I believe, Lord, help my unbelief."

These temptations/doubts may attempt to drive you away from prayer-- DO NOT LET THEM! It probably the most important time that you stay consistent in your prayer (oh, and let me tell you, I know how difficult that is). I think that God allows these times to "test" our faith. And by "testing" I don't mean like an examination-- God already knows where our faith lies. But I mean 'test' as in when steel is "tested" by fire-- you know, purified, made stronger. That is usually what's going on in times like these.

[CatherineM]

Been like that my whole life.

[The Bus Station]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1917812' date='Jul 12 2009, 08:47 AM']Been like that my whole life.[/quote]

Yep.

Prayers, ice.

[Angel*Star]

There was a time that going to mass made me very angry. I would tell my husband I was going to find a new church-one that was more fun! Well, I never did. I specifically married a devoted Catholic man so I would not be taking the kids to church by myself. Now here I was almost doing the same thing myself to him.

Also, "I asked a friend What if we do all these nice, good things and realize when we die there is no God?" She replied with "and what if you don't and there is?" I think there is Paskow's Theory or something like that, but at the time I thought it came from her because she is so wise.

I also told this friend I wish I could take my child's battery out for just 15 minutes a day. She told me if we could do that we would eventualy put our children on the shelf and they would just get dusty. Good point.

Another time I told her I was tired of living by all these unbelievers. Why couldn't we all live in the same subdivision. (This was before Ava Maria, Florida) She said we needed to let our light shine and if we all lived together the rest of the world would be dark and our light could not be light for them to see.

So, I picked up my faith and travelled onward. Yes, it is very difficult. I had a sister in law who laughed at me all the time. Why did I make my kids go to church and do things like pray, do dishes, make their beds, clean up after themselves? Well, one of her kids ended up doing drugs and in jail. No one was laughing then.

I have come to realize doing the right thing is difficult, but worth it. Trusting our faith and believing in God is an everyday decision. I understand even Mother Teresa struggled with it. Fortunately I have good friends and a wonderful husband who help me each and every day. I hope in some way I have helped others to see God really is there even when they don't "feel" it or see Him.

I will pray for you and all Phatmassers. It is understandable we question with all the disbelief and stuff around us which undermines our faith. As for me and my house, I want to serve Christ.

[BG45]

Constantly.

I think it is times such as these that herald back to Christ's words to his Apostles, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed."

[morostheos]

I have been feeling that way a lot lately. It's been hard for me because for years I felt really close to God and saw very clearly what his will was in my life, but now I feel nothing. I wonder if all of this is really true or if I just fit my experiences into my beliefs. I know so much in my head, but it's my heart that does the doubting. It's so tempting to just not go to Mass and not pray when I don't feel like it's doing anything for me, but I keep going anyway because I know in my head that what I feel isn't always reality. It's hard though, when none of the friends I see day to day practice any sort of faith really. It's an entirely foreign concept to them to the point that they don't seem the least bit curious about it.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='morostheos' post='1917940' date='Jul 12 2009, 03:07 PM']I have been feeling that way a lot lately. It's been hard for me because for years I felt really close to God and saw very clearly what his will was in my life, but now I feel nothing. I wonder if all of this is really true or if I just fit my experiences into my beliefs. I know so much in my head, but it's my heart that does the doubting. It's so tempting to just not go to Mass and not pray when I don't feel like it's doing anything for me, but I keep going anyway because I know in my head that what I feel isn't always reality. It's hard though, when none of the friends I see day to day practice any sort of faith really. It's an entirely foreign concept to them to the point that they don't seem the least bit curious about it.[/quote]

Do you have a spiritual director? Or a priest that you can talk with? As young and inexperienced as I am, it almost sounds to me like you've hit the "Dark night of the senses" stage of prayer. Sometimes just knowing more about it, why you're going through it, and knowing that others have too can be helpful. I'd recommend either "Fire Within" by Fr. Dubay or "When the Well Runs Dry" by Fr. Thomas Green for some good reading on it. (The latter is much shorter, but very helpful, than the prior.)

[morostheos]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' post='1918012' date='Jul 12 2009, 03:50 PM']Do you have a spiritual director? Or a priest that you can talk with? As young and inexperienced as I am, it almost sounds to me like you've hit the "Dark night of the senses" stage of prayer. Sometimes just knowing more about it, why you're going through it, and knowing that others have too can be helpful. I'd recommend either "Fire Within" by Fr. Dubay or "When the Well Runs Dry" by Fr. Thomas Green for some good reading on it. (The latter is much shorter, but very helpful, than the prior.)[/quote]

I don't have a spiritual director, I do wish I had one, but I don't currently have a permanent residence so it's really hard to find one right now. I would agree with you though - I have read some of the Interior Castle and what St. Theresa describes pretty much fits. Thanks for those book recommendations, I'll have to check them out!