I Don't Really Know How To React To This...

[MIKolbe]

[quote name='princessgianna' post='1934430' date='Jul 28 2009, 08:10 PM']Being there for a marriage is an act of agreeing and supporting with it.[/quote]
Being there for a marriage is an act that is best interpretted by the person attending.

[MithLuin]

Attendance at weddings and receptions is a social Big Deal more than a theological Big Deal. Meaning, theologically, it's the people who are involved who are the focus, not those in attendance so much. Attendance certainly does imply 'assent' in some form, though, which is why people raise the issue of causing scandal. Socially, it's the other attendees who will be doing the interpretting, not the person attending.

If you would feel the need to explain to everyone why you were there, or a 'I showed up because I'm friends, but I disapprove of what's happening,' then that is pretty much worse than quietly not showing up. It's a social faux pas to put the focus on your approval (or lack there of) rather than on celebrating the guests of honor.

You mentioned you were hunting for an excuse. Meaning, you didn't want to say, 'No thanks, I don't approve of gay civil unions.' There's a reeeeeally good chance this friend already knows that, seeing as how you're gearing up to enter a convent. So, refusing on other grounds may suggest that you aren't being honest with him. I mean, if you sorta kinda dated once, you could make a joke out of not needing an ex at the ceremony. But I would just tell him what you've told people in this thread - that you are his friend and you want him to be happy, but this isn't really something you can get behind. And just to make it clear that you're not looking down on him or anything, ask for his prayers for you as you prepare to enter.

But if your community tells you you can't, you can make them the bad guys. 'Sorry, I'd like to, but I can't' - only use that if it's honest, though. Don't sound too relieved that you can't go.

[b]Varg[/b], it is possible to wish a person happiness, but think their wedding is a Big Mistake. Not all weddings are joyous celebrations where all the family and friends think that something beautiful is happening.

Edited July 29, 2009 by MithLuin

[VeniteAdoremus]

That's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much.

I'm afraid I can't joke about the ex thing, as our dating history amounts to exactly one disastrous date in which we both said absolutely nothing for an hour until to our mutual relief we decided that this was just a friends thing

I will give him a call and tell him I wish him all the best, but that I wouldn't be comfortable attending.

[iheartjp2]

[quote name='MithLuin' post='1934690' date='Jul 29 2009, 10:36 AM']Attendance at weddings and receptions is a social Big Deal more than a theological Big Deal. Meaning, theologically, it's the people who are involved who are the focus, not those in attendance so much. Attendance certainly does imply 'assent' in some form, though, which is why people raise the issue of causing scandal. Socially, it's the other attendees who will be doing the interpretting, not the person attending.

If you would feel the need to explain to everyone why you were there, or a 'I showed up because I'm friends, but I disapprove of what's happening,' then that is pretty much worse than quietly not showing up. It's a social faux pas to put the focus on your approval (or lack there of) rather than on celebrating the guests of honor.

You mentioned you were hunting for an excuse. Meaning, you didn't want to say, 'No thanks, I don't approve of gay civil unions.' There's a reeeeeally good chance this friend already knows that, seeing as how you're gearing up to enter a convent. So, refusing on other grounds may suggest that you aren't being honest with him. I mean, if you sorta kinda dated once, you could make a joke out of not needing an ex at the ceremony. But I would just tell him what you've told people in this thread - that you are his friend and you want him to be happy, but this isn't really something you can get behind. And just to make it clear that you're not looking down on him or anything, ask for his prayers for you as you prepare to enter.

But if your community tells you you can't, you can make them the bad guys. 'Sorry, I'd like to, but I can't' - only use that if it's honest, though. Don't sound too relieved that you can't go.

[b]Varg[/b], it is possible to wish a person happiness, but think their wedding is a Big Mistake. Not all weddings are joyous celebrations where all the family and friends think that something beautiful is happening.[/quote]

IAWTC.

[Veritas]

+

Sounds like an easy one to me: Don't go. It's a public celebration of sin. Ahhhh, hmhmmm. Nope, not going to attend that. Not to mention, do you really want to witness homosexual sexual activity ? "You may now kiss the grooms."

I can't think of any reason to go unless you were going to actively protest it somehow. Otherwise, it seems totally incongruous with a Catholic life. You can get together and socialize with friends anytime. To go to an event specifically created for the purpose of sanctioning sin isn't the way to do it.

[Veritas]

+

Sounds like an easy one to me: Don't go. It's a public celebration of sin. Ahhhh, hmhmmm. Nope, not going to attend that. Not to mention, do you really want to witness homosexual sexual activity ? "You may now kiss the grooms."

I can't think of any reason to go unless you were going to actively protest it somehow. Otherwise, it seems totally incongruous with a Catholic life. You can get together and socialize with friends anytime. To go to an event specifically created for the purpose of sanctioning sin isn't the way to do it.