A Priest, A Nun, And A Rabbi Walk Into A Bar...

[Fidei Defensor]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' post='1942881' date='Aug 7 2009, 02:08 PM']A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
[spoiler]
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."[/spoiler]
(punchline spoilered to prevent any potential scandal)

Mods, feel free to remove that if you don't feel it's appropriate.

There are tons more of these jokes, they were bigger a long time ago, and as such, were replaced by the infamous meta joke (walk into a bar, and the bar tender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"), which I suppose is lost on those unfamiliar with the original jokes.[/quote]
I AM HORRIBLY OFFENDED BY YOUR USE OF SUCH FILTHY LANGUAGE.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='fidei defensor' post='1942912' date='Aug 7 2009, 03:52 PM']I AM HORRIBLY OFFENDED BY YOUR USE OF SUCH FILTHY LANGUAGE.[/quote]
There are people on this website who are quite young. Better to err on the side of prudence.

[Fidei Defensor]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' post='1942945' date='Aug 7 2009, 03:25 PM']There are people on this website who are quite young. Better to err on the side of prudence.[/quote]
I agree, if circumcision was a dirty word.

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='fidei defensor' post='1942953' date='Aug 7 2009, 05:30 PM']I agree, if circumcision was a dirty word.[/quote]
Circumcision in and of itself is not, but you never know where an innocent google search can lead a pair of curious little eyes.

[Fidei Defensor]

[quote name='USAirwaysIHS' post='1942972' date='Aug 7 2009, 03:44 PM']Circumcision in and of itself is not, but you never know where an innocent google search can lead a pair of curious little eyes.[/quote]
If they know how to use google, I wouldn't be so worried about circumcision.

[pat22]

this one is great

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."
"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."

[Vincent Vega]

[quote name='pat22' post='1943016' date='Aug 7 2009, 05:17 PM']this one is great

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion."
"I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision."[/quote]
That's the one that I posted.

[pat22]

oops. i didn't see it

*embarrassed*

[Vincent Vega]

Don't worry about it.

[Old_Joe]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into the bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this a joke?"