Vocation To The Single Life

[Lisa]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1298643013' post='2215476']
I was randomly thinking this morning about hiddenness in vocations... and how those in the single state, whether Consecrated Virgins or those in private vows, live a uniquely hidden life. I thought in particular about an example Fr. John Corapi gave. I think it was a former drug user - someone who had done some really bad stuff, anyways - that had converted. He then lived a very normal, quiet life but would spend most of the night praying the Rosary for those who still suffered in his former way of life. Barely got any sleep. I bet most people never knew this.

And I wonder at the apparent visibility of those who "live in the world" - unhabited, not obviously known to be associated with a consecrated way of life - and how they are in some ways, more hidden than those in the cloister. Even though some of the life lived in the cloister is secret, we generally know what they're doing and what they're all about. And now that some keep blogs, we know even more about the day-to-day things!

But those who live a secular life don't have this mould to surround them, they don't have that instantly recognizable identity. They are truly "hidden with God in Christ" because they are unknown to most others in regards to their purpose in life. I think of a crowd of people in New York City at rush hour - a Sister in a habit is clearly not hidden, but a woman dressed modestly or another man in a suit is. Their work, their sacrifice, their prayers are not known, and they are easily overlooked and not given that value that some might assign a religious.

I've done a pretty bad job explaining what I was thinking, probably because I haven't been awake too long I'm definitely not saying one way of life is better than another... just a thought I had anyways.
[/quote]

Thanks for sharing this! It made sense to me! But maybe I need sleep too Just kidding, it is a beautiful reflection on a truly hidden life. We have a CV at our parish, her name is Mary, and she is always there serving our campus ministry. At first, most students just think she's an older lady who is around a lot, because serves very quietly. What a gift to the Church!

[Debra Little]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1298671103' post='2215639']
I don't think that is what she meant. DominicanSoul, as far as I am aware, has never been married.
[/quote]

yes i probably took that the wrong way, not in the way she meant it. thank you

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Debra Little' timestamp='1298676827' post='2215666']
yes i probably took that the wrong way, not in the way she meant it. thank you
[/quote]

It's not a problem, my sister in Christ. God bless.

[Debra Little]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1297875573' post='2212985']
I think the single life is a rough one. I may in the end have to live it, if my health issues keep me out of the Religious Life. I would then consider consecrated virginity, third order, etc. Or God just may bring someone into my life discerning a Josephite Marriage... Never know.
[/quote]



What is a Josephite marriage?

[Chiquitunga]

I haven't read the whole thread but I just thought I'd add a couple links. Consecrated virgins are not in the single state and are not lay women, unless by that you mean non-clercial. Otherwise they are in the consecrated state like religious.

[url="http://doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/363"]http://doihaveavocat...og/archives/363[/url]

[url="http://sponsa-christi.blogspot.com/2009/07/is-consecrated-virginity-same-as-single.html"]http://sponsa-christ...-as-single.html[/url]

By the way, I Jenna's blog too!! Definitely if I weren't so sure about religious life, I'd go for consecrated virginity! I love especially how there is absolutely no ambiguity about being a bride of Christ in this vocation too. It is written so clearly in the rite.

Edited February 27, 2011 by Chiquitunga

[Theresita Nerita]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1298643013' post='2215476']
I was randomly thinking this morning about hiddenness in vocations... and how those in the single state, whether Consecrated Virgins or those in private vows, live a uniquely hidden life. I thought in particular about an example Fr. John Corapi gave. I think it was a former drug user - someone who had done some really bad stuff, anyways - that had converted. He then lived a very normal, quiet life but would spend most of the night praying the Rosary for those who still suffered in his former way of life. Barely got any sleep. I bet most people never knew this.

And I wonder at the apparent visibility of those who "live in the world" - unhabited, not obviously known to be associated with a consecrated way of life - and how they are in some ways, more hidden than those in the cloister. Even though some of the life lived in the cloister is secret, we generally know what they're doing and what they're all about. And now that some keep blogs, we know even more about the day-to-day things!

But those who live a secular life don't have this mould to surround them, they don't have that instantly recognizable identity. They are truly "hidden with God in Christ" because they are unknown to most others in regards to their purpose in life. I think of a crowd of people in New York City at rush hour - a Sister in a habit is clearly not hidden, but a woman dressed modestly or another man in a suit is. Their work, their sacrifice, their prayers are not known, and they are easily overlooked and not given that value that some might assign a religious.

I've done a pretty bad job explaining what I was thinking, probably because I haven't been awake too long I'm definitely not saying one way of life is better than another... just a thought I had anyways.
[/quote]


Chamomile, I couldn't agree more!!! Well said!!

[BarbTherese]

I very much agree that one way of life or vocation and call is no better than another, simply because it is always God who grants the Graces to live one's particular call without which it would be impossible to live the vocation - not the vocation to the consecrated life nor to the single lay celibate state. Perhaps these are shades of meaning to "judge not" and also "in My Father's House there are many mansions". God calls wheresoever He May and to His Purposes. One is in religious habit in the consecrateed state and gives a very powerful witness to society. Another person is not in consecrated life, nor wears any sort of habit, and the way of life may be a hidden and quite dedicated way for the sake of The Kingdom. All Praise to God and His Will and Reasons!

[InPersonaChriste]

A person did tell me that we are all called to the single life until further notice. That until it was time (God's timing) for us to follow our specific path, we must live out a life perfectly with him in chastity, modesty, and love. I know many people who are single and very happy, they all do seem like they are waiting for something though. Single life is listed as a vocation so whatever we all think of this it is still valid!

[Chamomile]

[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1301924801' post='2225835']
A person did tell me that we are all called to the single life until further notice. That until it was time (God's timing) for us to follow our specific path, we must live out a life perfectly with him in chastity, modesty, and love.
[/quote]


Very true. We have to live in our current state of life, not in the future or past, even if we think we're most likely called to a certain path. Grace is a present reality, since God is always living in the present... and if we focus too much on the possibility of something, we could miss the present chance to live in God's presence Not to mention, we could be wrong about that possibility and might be placing our desires in a dream rather than in the source of all good.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1301924801' post='2225835']
A person did tell me that we are all called to the single life until further notice. That until it was time (God's timing) for us to follow our specific path, we must live out a life perfectly with him in chastity, modesty, and love. I know many people who are single and very happy, they all do seem like they are waiting for something though. Single life is listed as a vocation so whatever we all think of this it is still valid!


[/quote]

That's exactly right. God's got a plan, just in HIS time, not ours. Trust me, that's a hard thing to get down! It [i]does[/i] get easier with time and prayer.

And the single life can be [i]very[/i] fufilling. My religion teacher in HS said "It's not important that you get married, but that you loved." So we're all called to living a fruitful, loving, Christian (or whatever other religion) life until it's God's time for us to marry or enter convent/seminary/monastery/ etc.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1301952265' post='2225932']
Very true. We have to live in our current state of life, not in the future or past, even if we think we're most likely called to a certain path. Grace is a present reality, since God is always living in the present... and if we focus too much on the possibility of something, we could miss the present chance to live in God's presence Not to mention, we could be wrong about that possibility and might be placing our desires in a dream rather than in the source of all good.
[/quote]

Excellent response! God and His Grace are a present reality - well said.

Barb

[Chamomile]

In my discernment, I've begun focusing on the root issue... whether or not I'm called to be married or be celibate. I actually haven't found too many resources on discerning this basic call within the vocational information I've run across since it's always tied to the religious life/priesthood. I know there's the book by Fr. Dubay, [i]And You are Christ's[/i], and a couple others. What I was looking for was something that describes the celibate life simply and without constantly relating it to religious life or the priesthood - the charism of celibacy itself, which can then be lived out through different types of consecrated life.

I've come across a nice, brief article on the celibate life that, while definitely describing monks and nuns, focuses on the basic charism of celibacy. It's [url="http://www.monachos.net/content/monasticism/monastic-spirituality/94-a-brief-word-on-celibacy"]here[/url]. The main purpose seems to be explaining and defending the life, but that's to be expected since celibacy isn't understood by most people. I hope some here might benefit from reading it. An excerpt:


[font="Arial"][size="2"][quote]Celibacy is a positive calling, and we are reminded of this when we appreciate its nature as divine gift. We find here, too, reassurance of the fullness of life to be had in such a calling. Society may be eager to decry the celibate way as one in which the individual 'misses out' on the fullness of life attainable in marriage, but in so doing, our modern world only shows more clearly its failure to understand the nature of the gifts of God as effective personal realities. The richness, the wholeness and the completeness of life do not come from the adherence to any social or relational model: they come from personal union with God. Such union is always and only available to man through the gifts given him by our precious and loving Lord; and so individual fullness comes from realising, embracing and fostering within us the gifts we, and not any other, have received. [/quote][/size][/font]


Yes, it's an Orthodox site. The Orthodox have a lot of wisdom when it comes to monasticism.

God bless.

[Shana]

[quote name='Chamomile' timestamp='1304119079' post='2234811']
In my discernment, I've begun focusing on the root issue... whether or not I'm called to be married or be celibate. I actually haven't found too many resources on discerning this basic call within the vocational information I've run across since it's always tied to the religious life/priesthood. I know there's the book by Fr. Dubay, [i]And You are Christ's[/i], and a couple others. What I was looking for was something that describes the celibate life simply and without constantly relating it to religious life or the priesthood - the charism of celibacy itself, which can then be lived out through different types of consecrated life.

I've come across a nice, brief article on the celibate life that, while definitely describing monks and nuns, focuses on the basic charism of celibacy. It's [url="http://www.monachos.net/content/monasticism/monastic-spirituality/94-a-brief-word-on-celibacy"]here[/url]. The main purpose seems to be explaining and defending the life, but that's to be expected since celibacy isn't understood by most people. I hope some here might benefit from reading it. An excerpt:


[font="Arial"][size="2"][/size][/font]


Yes, it's an Orthodox site. The Orthodox have a lot of wisdom when it comes to monasticism.

God bless.
[/quote]

I saw Dubay's [i]And You Are Christs[/i] to be pretty inclusive of different celibate vocations. It's the best book I've found about celibacy in general, though it is written with the female celibate in mind. Reading that book pretty much confirmed for me that I am called to celibacy as when I was reading it I got a piece and had warm and fuzzy feelings about being so in love with Christ and how he is the only man for me!

[Chamomile]

[quote name='Shana' timestamp='1304124003' post='2234839']
I saw Dubay's [i]And You Are Christs[/i] to be pretty inclusive of different celibate vocations. It's the best book I've found about celibacy in general, though it is written with the female celibate in mind. Reading that book pretty much confirmed for me that I am called to celibacy as when I was reading it I got a piece and had warm and fuzzy feelings about being so in love with Christ and how he is the only man for me!
[/quote]

I actually haven't read it yet... I've definitely heard good things. It's on my (giant) list of things to read That's good to know it's broad in scope.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Shana' timestamp='1304124003' post='2234839']
I saw Dubay's [i]And You Are Christs[/i] to be pretty inclusive of different celibate vocations. It's the best book I've found about celibacy in general, though it is written with the female celibate in mind. Reading that book pretty much confirmed for me that I am called to celibacy as when I was reading it I got a piece and had warm and fuzzy feelings about being so in love with Christ and how he is the only man for me!
[/quote]

I think I'm going to finally buy that book this weekend having received a nice surprise check in the mail.