Family Troubles

[Archaeology cat]

emilier - I can imagine the reactions, since I'm a convert (raised Southern Baptist) and get enough flak from some family members. But we cannot allow their feelings to keep us from following God's call. That's not to say we dismiss their feelings; we should be respectful and try to address their concerns if and as possible, but continue following God's call. Perhaps they will see your happiness and faith and be moved to learn more. May God bless you.

[emilier98]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1299250601' post='2217840']
emilier - I can imagine the reactions, since I'm a convert (raised Southern Baptist) and get enough flak from some family members. But we cannot allow their feelings to keep us from following God's call. That's not to say we dismiss their feelings; we should be respectful and try to address their concerns if and as possible, but continue following God's call. Perhaps they will see your happiness and faith and be moved to learn more. May God bless you.
[/quote]

Thank you so much! I needed some encouragement. Most of friends are supportive but their support cannot make up for my family's support. I intend to keep moving forward with my vocation as God is calling me and so I must listen.

On another note going to Cali this summer to visit two Dominican communities. So excited!!!!!!!!!!! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif[/img]

Any advice on visiting? I have never visited a community or even gone on retreat for that matter.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1299250601' post='2217840']
emilier - I can imagine the reactions, since I'm a convert (raised Southern Baptist) and get enough flak from some family members. But we cannot allow their feelings to keep us from following God's call. That's not to say we dismiss their feelings; we should be respectful and try to address their concerns if and as possible, but continue following God's call. Perhaps they will see your happiness and faith and be moved to learn more. May God bless you.
[/quote]

iawtc

That's good advice, A.C.!

[emilier98]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1299291466' post='2218082']
iawtc

That's good advice, A.C.!
[/quote]

What is IAWTC?

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299291524' post='2218083']
What is IAWTC?
[/quote]

It's short for "I agree with this comment" in text-speak.

[Archaeology cat]

Thanks. I wish you the best in visiting the Dominicans!

[Chiquitunga]

I think you would appreciate this true story I scanned and posted about, of a girl who entered Carmel in the 30's. She was a convert and her parents were [i]terrible[/i] to her .. just terrible! (at least that's how I felt reading it) But she persevered over several years and loved them to the end

[b] [size="2"][i] [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=109682"]All American Girl - Story Of A Vocation To Carmel[/url][/i][/size][/b]

direct link to booklet: [url="https://picasaweb.google.com/111883073319518457118"]https://picasaweb.go...073319518457118[/url]

Edited March 5, 2011 by Chiquitunga

[OnlySunshine]

I read the vocation stories on the Mater Ecclesiae Fund for Vocations website and found this:

[url="http://fundforvocations.org/stories/SrMI.menlo"]Sr. Mary Isabel of Menlo Park Dominicans[/url]

[Jarrah]

[quote name='CatherineM' timestamp='1298956307' post='2216702']
My mom refused to speak to me. I eventually gave in to her wishes.
[/quote]


I have been a lurker for years and don't post much but I feel I would like to comment on this. CatherineM, I can totally relate to your painful decision. I too wanted to desperately to enter religious life but my family were VERY much against this. My mother who worked in Mental Health convinced me that I was crazy and my siblings made fun of me at every opportunity and even spread the word amongst all our friends that I was gay (which was totally untrue) and I became a laughing stock. My mother had me undergo an psych assessment by a Jewish colleague who found me to be normal but of course did not understand my longing for religious life and I'm sure he advised her to 'put her foot down'. The order that I wanted to enter required that the 5-year formation take place at a novitiate thousands of miles away from my home and in the end I decided that I could not hurt my family so I gave up and married instead. It took me 30 years to get over the pain that I experienced but in the long run I found happiness.
Did I make the right decision or the wrong decision. I guess I will never know. I still have a keen interest in seeing more people answer God's call and that is why I love being a member of Phatmass and praying for vocations.
I pray that all of you who are discerning with find God's will for you and in doing so find happiness and fulfillness.

[kavalame]

[quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1298949169' post='2216679']
Has anyone else had trouble with their family after telling them that you want to become a sister/nun/priest/brother? My family is currently threatening to disown and never speak to me again. I could use a little help on how to talk to them and a little support too.
[/quote]

I am sorry to hear that others of you are also having trouble with your parents' accepting your vocation. I didn't realize that so many parents were against their children entering religious life.
I have heard some parents are actually supportive to the point of helping their daughters research various orders and even accompanying them on visits.
I also know of two girls in my parish who felt their parents had indoctrinated them into believing that they had a vocation. They felt a lot of pressure and so entered to please their families but, of course, hated it and left after a short while.

[emilier98]

[quote name='kavalame' timestamp='1299507396' post='2218803']
I am sorry to hear that others of you are also having trouble with your parents' accepting your vocation. I didn't realize that so many parents were against their children entering religious life.
I have heard some parents are actually supportive to the point of helping their daughters research various orders and even accompanying them on visits.
I also know of two girls in my parish who felt their parents had indoctrinated them into believing that they had a vocation. They felt a lot of pressure and so entered to please their families but, of course, hated it and left after a short while.
[/quote]

From what the sisters I have talked to say it is apparently not odd at all for parents not to be supportive of their daughters joining religious life. From what I have been told and can gather it is because women have so many more options today than they did years ago. They view entering religious life as something negative instead of positive. My family has told me that I am being selfish and that I really do not understand. I know my family also has a lot of misconceptions about religious life. They think all sisters are cloistered nuns and that, as we all know, is not true; there is a huge difference between a sister and a nun. I have tried explaining and they are not ready to hear it. So I will wait until they are.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

A very wise sister once told me that parents just want what is best for their children. Because most parents have never been a priest or a sister or a brother, they cannot understand that calling. This sister told me that prayer and patience was always best. I am so, so, so blessed to have my parents,and I pray for yours.

Another wise sister was telling me about when she entered (in 1960!) how her mother was very worried. Her mother had had such an amesome marriage and wanted her daughter to experience that same love that she had for her husband. Once this sister took her mother to the motherhouse and the mom talked to other sisters, she let her daughter go with blessing! And that's a good thing, considering another daughter entered the same order!

Patience and prayers.