jkaands Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 General observations. Conversions by an individual in a family, especially a close-knit family, from one faith to another, even within the Christian faith, can be very painful. When someone converts from being Catholic to being Pentecostal or Southern Baptist or converting to Judaism (yes, it does happen) that person will unavoidably inflict pain on his/her family. When that individual converts to Catholicism and wants to enter religious life, which is poorly understood, the pain is greatly magnified. However, the Catholic church has a lot of built-in safeguards. A minimum of two years is required from conversion to entrance into religious life, and apparently a lot of religious communities require three years, maybe more. The formation period in all communities is very long, up to ten years from entrance to final profession in some cases. There is a lot of time for families to re-adjust and even come around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Ladies you have to understand that your parents love you in ways you cannot begin to understand unless you are a parent yourself. THey have spent all these years caring for you and have been dreaming from before your birth about all the things they wanted for you in your life, usually at the expense of their dreams and wants. We always want better for our kids, and sacrifice our time, energy and life to make it happen. However I doubt if many families think "Gee I hope she grows up to be a catholic nun " Let the idea slowly percolate in their minds, answer all their questions briefly, otherwise don't discuss it, and let the Holy Spirit do his job. If you are converting they will have to review and revise all their apparent and unspoken prejudices before they caln deal with it rationally. Once they see if is slightly different than being condemned a prison for life, they will calm down a bit. If you are in school, wait til you graduate before you make any moves, the convent isn't going anywhere If they see you are happy and fulfilled, they usually come around in the end, because really there is nothing better than see a happy kid, no matter how old they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 It's not just conversions that hurt families. I'm the last practicing Catholic in my family. The ones who have converted don't hurt in the way it hurts to see people I love no longer believe in God, or care for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1299171034' post='2217467'] If you are in school, wait til you graduate before you make any moves, the convent isn't going anywhere [/quote] Just wanted to note that I don't agree with this. God calls in His perfect timing and sometimes following Him into religious life means giving up a degree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1299227004' post='2217786'] Just wanted to note that I don't agree with this. God calls in His perfect timing and sometimes following Him into religious life means giving up a degree. [/quote] I agree with both of you. I know many Dominican orders require that you have your bachelors degree before entering, I mean part of their charism is study. I also know a number of Dominican and other orders that do not require you to have anything besides your high school diploma. I believe much of the decision to get your degree or not lies in what order you find yourself drawn to and what apostate you find yourself drawn to. For me my gift is working with others, especially those who are victims of abuse, rape and other traumas. I have a gift for getting people to talk to me and trust me and for being compassionate and non-judgmental. This leads me towards psychology and being a counselor which is what the orders I am looking at would love for me to be. For that I need degrees. The sisters will indeed be there when I finish my undergrad. However God called me during my undergrad and I find it hard to pay attention now because I really, really want to enter like yesterday. Anyway... It all depends on what you want to do and what where God has called you. In order for me to follow his call I need to finish my bachelors, however this is not true for all. Just follow God where he leads you, when He leads you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299227565' post='2217788'] I agree with both of you. I know many Dominican orders require that you have your bachelors degree before entering, I mean part of their charism is study. I also know a number of Dominican and other orders that do not require you to have anything besides your high school diploma. I believe much of the decision to get your degree or not lies in what order you find yourself drawn to and what apostate you find yourself drawn to. For me my gift is working with others, especially those who are victims of abuse, rape and other traumas. I have a gift for getting people to talk to me and trust me and for being compassionate and non-judgmental. This leads me towards psychology and being a counselor which is what the orders I am looking at would love for me to be. For that I need degrees. The sisters will indeed be there when I finish my undergrad. However God called me during my undergrad and I find it hard to pay attention now because I really, really want to enter like yesterday. Anyway... It all depends on what you want to do and what where God has called you. In order for me to follow his call I need to finish my bachelors, however this is not true for all. Just follow God where he leads you, when He leads you. [/quote] You took the time to write out what I think. In my case, a degree is not required and my SD said, "No more waiting." I waited a couple weeks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1299227709' post='2217789'] You took the time to write out what I think. In my case, a degree is not required and my SD said, "No more waiting." I waited a couple weeks... [/quote] That is amesome! You are so very fortunate. I am so over waiting, but I'll have to wait some more thanks to student loans. Do you know when you're entering? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1299227004' post='2217786'] Just wanted to note that I don't agree with this. God calls in His perfect timing and sometimes following Him into religious life means giving up a degree. [/quote] iawtc You could be missing your vocation by waiting. Sure, it helps some people to wait and some have to for various reasons such as debt, but if you have nothing holding you back but yourself, you need to take the steps to answer His call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='franciscanheart' timestamp='1299227709' post='2217789'] You took the time to write out what I think. In my case, a degree is not required and my SD said, "No more waiting." I waited a couple weeks... [/quote] Oooooo, Miss Rebellious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299228083' post='2217790'] That is amesome! You are so very fortunate. I am so over waiting, but I'll have to wait some more thanks to student loans. Do you know when you're entering? [/quote] I'm not for-sure entering anyplace yet. My SD just said it was time to start making those steps toward formal application with an order that's been on my heart for twelve years. I mailed my first "application" for a come and see visit earlier this week and will hopefully hear back soon (and have them tell me it's okay for me to come up). [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1299228692' post='2217793'] Oooooo, Miss Rebellious... [/quote] I prefer "stubborn". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 emilier - I can imagine the reactions, since I'm a convert (raised Southern Baptist) and get enough flak from some family members. But we cannot allow their feelings to keep us from following God's call. That's not to say we dismiss their feelings; we should be respectful and try to address their concerns if and as possible, but continue following God's call. Perhaps they will see your happiness and faith and be moved to learn more. May God bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 [quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1299250601' post='2217840'] emilier - I can imagine the reactions, since I'm a convert (raised Southern Baptist) and get enough flak from some family members. But we cannot allow their feelings to keep us from following God's call. That's not to say we dismiss their feelings; we should be respectful and try to address their concerns if and as possible, but continue following God's call. Perhaps they will see your happiness and faith and be moved to learn more. May God bless you. [/quote] Thank you so much! I needed some encouragement. Most of friends are supportive but their support cannot make up for my family's support. I intend to keep moving forward with my vocation as God is calling me and so I must listen. On another note going to Cali this summer to visit two Dominican communities. So excited!!!!!!!!!!! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif[/img] Any advice on visiting? I have never visited a community or even gone on retreat for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 [quote name='Archaeology cat' timestamp='1299250601' post='2217840'] emilier - I can imagine the reactions, since I'm a convert (raised Southern Baptist) and get enough flak from some family members. But we cannot allow their feelings to keep us from following God's call. That's not to say we dismiss their feelings; we should be respectful and try to address their concerns if and as possible, but continue following God's call. Perhaps they will see your happiness and faith and be moved to learn more. May God bless you. [/quote] iawtc That's good advice, A.C.! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emilier98 Posted March 5, 2011 Author Share Posted March 5, 2011 [quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1299291466' post='2218082'] iawtc That's good advice, A.C.! [/quote] What is IAWTC? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 [quote name='emilier98' timestamp='1299291524' post='2218083'] What is IAWTC? [/quote] It's short for "I agree with this comment" in text-speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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