Entering The Convent, The Orthodox Way

[MarysLittleFlower]

This must be so exciting! (though I can understand the "ah I can't believe it's actually happening!!" feeling. ).

[marigold]

Well, I thought it was time to revive this thread. I finished my last day of paid work, looking after my 2-year-old boy. As we had planned it, I would be going to the monastery on Monday - that is, in 3 days. But, I still don't have my visa. It looks like I'm going to have a whole lot more time on my hands. Right now I'm feeling quite ... 'numb' about it all, although that might be the headcold that's going around the house. I've got a busy weekend ahead, with a choir meeting tomorrow and then my friend being baptised on Sunday. After that I'll probably spend a few days at my parents', or as many days as I can without going mental.

This is the first time I've had basically nothing that I HAVE to do in the short term, but at the same time with a long-term security... So, what do you do in this situation? Go to church every day and sit around making prayer ropes? Tick items off a list of adventurous things to do before you die? :S

[brandelynmarie]

My recommendation is at some point, take a long hot bath, have a glass of wine & sit with a spiritually uplifting book. And yes, I mean all at the same time! You are between the now & not yet...& what I am sensing is He is asking to rest & trust in it...in Him. Easier said than done for all of us though, don't you think? Peace be with you...

[TheresaThoma]

Remember that there is a reason why He wants you where you are right now. It could simply be that He is giving you some quiet time to make this transition. Enjoy this time and know that this is all in His timing.
Prayers for you!

[Selah]

I was looking for this thread today. Funny that it popped up again.

Prayers here too

[marigold]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1328914162' post='2385182']
My recommendation is at some point, take a long hot bath, have a glass of wine & sit with a spiritually uplifting book. And yes, I mean all at the same time! You are between the now & not yet...& what I am sensing is He is asking to rest & trust in it...in Him. Easier said than done for all of us though, don't you think? Peace be with you...
[/quote]

That sounds like a hardcore remedy brandelynmarie Thanks for the headsup, I'm definitely trying it! Now, if only there was a way to get free wine... spending takes on a different perspective when you don't have any more income on the, er, incoming.

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1328916004' post='2385203']
Remember that there is a reason why He wants you where you are right now. It could simply be that He is giving you some quiet time to make this transition. Enjoy this time and know that this is all in His timing.
Prayers for you!
[/quote]

Yeah... and I know that in my [i]brain[/i]... But it's easier said than done Thank you for your prayers!

[quote name='Selah' timestamp='1328927226' post='2385256']
I was looking for this thread today. Funny that it popped up again.

Prayers here too
[/quote]

Thanks! Hope you found what you were looking for.

[brandelynmarie]

I will ask the Holy Spirit to send you His Wine.

[marigold]

[marigold]

One of the sisters just mentioned in an email that they're getting high speed internet installed on Monday. Is it silly to feel a twinge of regret?

[marigold]

My little boy and his dad just left for the first day of nursery. He's all grown up, and he's not mine anymore I know he's ready for this, and as his dad said, 'It's an inevitability, so we might as well s.uck it up and consider it God's will' which I think was as close as he was going to get to admitting he was nervous too.

More than anything this means I really really [i]am[/i] unemployed and brings me a step closer to the monastery, but also cuts off another tie to the world. Which feels weird when I still have an undefined amount of time to live in the world.

Edited February 13, 2012 by marigold

[Jennifer]

My prayers are for you at this time. God Bless You Marigold

[Lisa]

Marigold, even though you didn't get your word right at the end of our novena, which I was really hoping you would, it WILL happen! Don't give up hope! And in that "in-between place," know that you are right where He's wants you to be, and there's a reason He has you there! In the meantime, I hope Brandelynn's suggestion helped

[marigold]

[quote name='Jennirom' timestamp='1329128757' post='2386228']
My prayers are for you at this time. God Bless You Marigold
[/quote]
[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1329155398' post='2386371']
Marigold, even though you didn't get your word right at the end of our novena, which I was really hoping you would, it WILL happen! Don't give up hope! And in that "in-between place," know that you are right where He's wants you to be, and there's a reason He has you there! In the meantime, I hope Brandelynn's suggestion helped
[/quote]

Thank you both!

[marigold]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1328914162' post='2385182']
My recommendation is at some point, take a long hot bath, have a glass of wine & sit with a spiritually uplifting book. And yes, I mean all at the same time!
[/quote]

Brandelynmarie, I followed your above advice - except it was a gin & tonic instead of wine. Will that do? It's been a zinger of a day... Started out well, I helped a friend out with her horse, and even started replying to your PM. But after some more Broken Family Tension at my parents' house, and drunken phonecalls from my godmother, and other things along those lines, I feel like I'm getting pretty close to my wits' end.

I feel burned out after a year of high-stress work, and 2-3 years of moving around and changing situations before that. At the same time it's like I haven't really [i]done [/i]anything yet, and I'm waiting and waiting to get started with my real life, in the monastery. I need happy, normal people around me, and I need deep silence and loneliness to start getting back to the Lord. Need, need, need. Just a bag of needs at the moment.

What I [i]need[/i] is monastic life, I'm starting to see how literally harmonious and wholesome it is, a perfect balance of solitude with a safety net of sisters; very intense community life with periods of rest etc. But I can't avoid the feeling that I'll get there and everything that I've been holding in and all the tension of Christmas and my family situation will just come spilling out and I'll fall flat and be unable to get up again. The community can handle that, but it's still not a c.ool thing to have happen.

In the meantime, I'm worrying because Mother Abbess said she would write and still hasn't. It's a silly thing to feel sore over but what with everything else I'm a bit fragile. No visa, no money, no job, nothing really to do, just... waiting. I'm thinking about what Nunsense always says about writing God a blank cheque/check. And I'm also thinking about my patron saint - it dawned on me some months ago, when I was wondering about purpose and what's a really worthy thing to do with your life, and I realised that this particular saint is holy not because of she 'did something amazing for Christ/the Church'. She didn't, as far as I know. We don't know anything about her life except that she was just a lady who saw Christ, and followed him.

I'm sorry this is such a rambly mess. I needed to write it out.

[brandelynmarie]

That's what we are here for, chica. Sorry your day has smelled of elderberries. We are praying for you that you may you find His Peace this Lent.


[size=2]And G&T with lime works just as well. [/size]

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1329780005' post='2390294']
I feel burned out after a year of high-stress work, and 2-3 years of moving around and changing situations before that. At the same time it's like I haven't really [i]done [/i]anything yet, and I'm waiting and waiting to get started with my real life, in the monastery. I need happy, normal people around me, and I need deep silence and loneliness to start getting back to the Lord. Need, need, need. Just a bag of needs at the moment.

What I [i]need[/i] is monastic life, I'm starting to see how literally harmonious and wholesome it is, a perfect balance of solitude with a safety net of sisters; very intense community life with periods of rest etc. [/quote]

Marigold:

First of all you have my prayers during this waiting period. I know how it can be tough.

You probably know this but I need to restate it ... you *know* religious life, even though it may seem from the outside to be "harmonious" a lot of times it is not. No monastery is perfect, and there will be sisters that aren't even considered to be "normal." You may even find one who really shouldn't be there, but by the Grace of God is.

I was going to suggest one thing -- focus on the now. On what you are doing day in and day out. That is an opportunity for sanctification and growth, if you allow it to be.

I've spent years working on the "future," on the possibility of being a religious. A lot has happened since the journey began, and now what I focus on is how to best live my life in Christ in the day-to-day. What service can I do in my parish? How can I help those in need? What can I do to grow in holiness today? What can I do to strengthen my relationship with the Beloved? How do I need to grow? etc. etc. etc.

Changing focus to today does help. You don't have to completely lose track of tomorrow -- but try to focus a bit more on now.

Hope this helps -- you've got my prayers.

[marigold]

[quote name='brandelynmarie' timestamp='1329783696' post='2390318']
That's what we are here for, chica. Sorry your day has smelled of elderberries. We are praying for you that you may you find His Peace this Lent.


[size=2]And G&T with lime works just as well. [/size]
[/quote]

Thank you sweetheart. Please keep 'em coming.

[size=1]You know what, we actually do have limes. I should probably wait till at least lunchtime though [/size]

Edited February 22, 2012 by marigold

[marigold]

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1329857387' post='2390764']
Marigold:

First of all you have my prayers during this waiting period. I know how it can be tough.

You probably know this but I need to restate it ... you *know* religious life, even though it may seem from the outside to be "harmonious" a lot of times it is not. No monastery is perfect, and there will be sisters that aren't even considered to be "normal." You may even find one who really shouldn't be there, but by the Grace of God is.

I was going to suggest one thing -- focus on the now. On what you are doing day in and day out. That is an opportunity for sanctification and growth, if you allow it to be.

I've spent years working on the "future," on the possibility of being a religious. A lot has happened since the journey began, and now what I focus on is how to best live my life in Christ in the day-to-day. What service can I do in my parish? How can I help those in need? What can I do to grow in holiness today? What can I do to strengthen my relationship with the Beloved? How do I need to grow? etc. etc. etc.

Changing focus to today does help. You don't have to completely lose track of tomorrow -- but try to focus a bit more on now.

Hope this helps -- you've got my prayers.
[/quote]

Cmaria, thank you! I did need to read this. It's a recurring issue, trying to see into the future or dwelling too much on the past. I sort of knew that's what I was doing, but I felt (still feel a bit) that I've had one put over on me - be ready to go and having given everything away, and then have to wait here in London, like a pork pie at a Jewish wedding, with nothing to do. I mean I'm sitting here in my postulant clothes!

I know monastic life isn't fantastic all the time. What I meant by 'harmonious' was that the structure of the life itself is so sound and healthy, in a kind of 'hey, this couldn't have been invented with just human minds' way. Yeah, there are sisters who drive me up the wall, and drive each other up the wall, and who I occasionally stooped to wondering why they were there. (Not a good idea to start sitting in judgment of those who are older and wiser than you in monastic life, as I'm sure you know...)

ANYWAY, it was good to get a reminder to stay with today and not get carried away by tomorrow. And your prayers are very much appreciated

edited for spelling.

Edited February 22, 2012 by marigold

[marigold]

Things are slowly, slowly coming together. Mother sent me information about the health insurance plan they want me to have, and while it's costing a LOT more than I expected (nearly a thousand dollars for six months - no idea if this is standard?!) it means Father and I can finally get on with writing to everyone in the parish asking for donations. My quip for the past few months has been that it's expensive to live in London even when you don't go anywhere or do anything! Everything I saved from work is gone. It seems to be God's will that a lot of us enter with/after a lot of financial difficulties. It seems to be his will that I have nothing left of my own, financially. So the way it's working out is that I, God helping us, will enter supported totally by other people.

I feel very loved and happy and grateful. Especially because Mother added at the end of her email that she really wished I was there

Ok, off to make lentils for dinner. Yay Lent!

Edited March 16, 2012 by marigold

[AnneLine]

Dear Marigold, this has to be so hard. Truly 'leaving all to find Christ'. Praying....