When Did You Tell Your Parents?

[MithLuin]

I haven't had to tell my family I'm discerning religous life, because I'm not

My sister informed the parish priest at our school that she wanted to be a priest too when she was in first grade. He told everyone (in front of the *entire* school), and she was in that school until 8th grade. So, eight years of your classmates calling you 'Father' as a joke is a bit weird, I suppose, and no one would really want to put up with that. She did get to play Jesus in a play her class put on once, though, on account of it. Still...definitely reasons *not* to spill the news too early.

[My sister was 6 at the time. She is now married and has three children. She did spend three years as a youth minister, so it all worked out.]

I told my family about wanting to do volunteer work in Africa when I was in college 10 years ago. Thus, when I brought it up again this spring after I knew I'd have the opportunity, it was interesting to hear their reactions. My mom was all, 'Wait, what?' and my Dad said, "She's been talking about this for 10 years." So, having told them earlier definitely made the conversation easier than it would have been if I had sprung, 'So...I'm moving to Ethiopia for a year,' on them without warning.

Obviously, there are other factors that go into the timing of this particular news. People you tell casually will sorta expect you to be a nun instantly after you tell them, so it might be a bit awkward if you aren't at the point of applying to a particular order or are rather early on in the discernment process. Sometimes, people you tell share the news for you, so....you wind up dealing with that anyway.

Whether you pick the 'right' time to share the news with your family or not...their reaction over time may change from their initial surprise. Parents don't want us to make mistakes about the important things in life, so sometimes their lack of support comes from their honest love and concern for us...and is just one more obstacle to surmount (or cross to bear) in the discernment process.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1321038920' post='2335016']

Well, I have at least 3 years and probably more before I'm free to enter. Its hard but God knows what he's doing. He doesn't want us to enter until He's ready for us to enter.
[/quote]
Very true!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1321043142' post='2335043']

Whether you pick the 'right' time to share the news with your family or not...their reaction over time may change from their initial surprise. Parents don't want us to make mistakes about the important things in life, so sometimes their lack of support comes from their honest love and concern for us...and is just one more obstacle to surmount (or cross to bear) in the discernment process.
[/quote]
Very true, that is one of my parents' biggest hurdles, I think. Is that they don't want me to male a mistake and make a promise before I know. Of course, there is now way for them to know when I "know", but I think they would be just as concerned about the same things if I were marrying a man on earth.

[savvy]

[b] FutureCarmelite Clare,[/b]


It's really amesome that you have this calling at your age. If someone had suggested becoming a nun when I was your age, I would have laughed my head off. I guess God works in his own time.

Edited November 12, 2011 by savvy

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='savvy' timestamp='1321059834' post='2335165']
[b]FutureCarmelite Clare,[/b]


It's really amesome that you have this calling at your age. If someone had suggested becoming a nun when I was your age, I would have laughed my head off. I guess God works in his own time.
[/quote]
Thanks! I am very thankful that I feel the call, but I just wish I knew exactly where. I am thinking the Carmelites, but I am trying to be open to His Will.

[savvy]

[quote]Thanks! I am very thankful that I feel the call, but I just wish I knew exactly where. I am thinking the Carmelites, but I am trying to be open to His Will. [/quote]

The Carmelites are a beautiful order. You still have a lot of time, so just take it easy. God will unfold his plans when the time is right.

[HopefulBride]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1321062629' post='2335185']

Thanks! I am very thankful that I feel the call, but I just wish I knew exactly where. I am thinking the Carmelites, but I am trying to be open to His Will.
[/quote]

Being open to his will is great, you may find that as long as you let him guide you it doesn't matter much where he points you to.

Prayers for you as you discern.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='HopefulBride' timestamp='1321127715' post='2335470']

Being open to his will is great, you may find that as long as you let him guide you it doesn't matter much where he points you to.

Prayers for you as you discern.
[/quote]
Thank you so much!

[the171]

UPDATE: My dad finally realized when he met Sr.MJ in the grille parlor to pick me up. It's in "the hood" and there are "cages"; "171, you can't EVER go back there.". Oh joy

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1321234965' post='2335892']
UPDATE: My dad finally realized when he met Sr.MJ in the grille parlor to pick me up. It's in "the hood" and there are "cages"; "171, you can't EVER go back there.". Oh joy
[/quote]

It's not totally in the "hood" though. Parts of that city are just like that....and the sisters I'm sure are very safe.

[the171]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1321235454' post='2335901']

It's not totally in the "hood" though. Parts of that city are just like that....and the sisters I'm sure are very safe.
[/quote]

YEAH, I told him that. But he's partially racist because of how he was raised. He was at the diocese offices thinking that was the monastery. There are BARS on the windows. I think I'm safe.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1321234965' post='2335892']
UPDATE: My dad finally realized when he met Sr.MJ in the grille parlor to pick me up. It's in "the hood" and there are "cages"; "171, you can't EVER go back there.". Oh joy
[/quote]
Wow, I will pray for you. Fun, fun, fun... Good luck.

[the171]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1321236215' post='2335915']
Wow, I will pray for you. Fun, fun, fun... Good luck.
[/quote]
[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1321236215' post='2335915']
Wow, I will pray for you. Fun, fun, fun... Good luck.
[/quote]

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND hahahaha

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1321235968' post='2335911']

YEAH, I told him that. But he's partially racist because of how he was raised. He was at the diocese offices thinking that was the monastery. There are BARS on the windows. I think I'm safe.
[/quote]

They do have nice diocesan offices!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1321236667' post='2335926']

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND hahahaha
[/quote]
Haha

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='the171' timestamp='1321235968' post='2335911']
There are BARS on the windows.
[/quote]
YOU BEST HOPE I DON'T PUT BARS ON YOUR WINDOW, RONALD WEASLEY!!!

*ahem* Sorry, continue on, had a moment there.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1321244464' post='2336022']
YOU BEST HOPE I DON'T PUT BARS ON YOUR WINDOW, RONALD WEASLEY!!!

*ahem* Sorry, continue on, had a moment there.
[/quote]

[i<3LSOP]

I haven't told them.

[Nola Seminarian]

they knew i was thinking about religious life or priesthood when i was 16 and i told them i was discerning the Brothers of the Sacred Heart, so when i tell them at 18 that "hey i just sent in my application to Seminary" they said "but i thought you were going to be a brother." they are very secular, so either way they did'nt really care except for my dad who got in an argument with me once about him wanting grand children

[the171]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1321239036' post='2335954']

They do have nice diocesan offices!
[/quote]

Yeah, the former minor seminary right next door