When Did You Tell Your Parents?

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1320984191' post='2334738']
I have just been gifted with the lovely gift of impatience. It's something I struggle with...
[/quote]
the 171 and I both, among countless others, struggle(d) with impatience, and that's fine. The only way to grow patient is to be patient in times where we want to be impatient. God's funny like that So that's my challenge to you, from one who began discerning at your age, be a kid and a saint now and a sister and a saint later.

[Lil'Monster]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1320984191' post='2334738']
Haha, "infinite wisdom of 18 years" I do get what you are saying. I am thirteen, and you are only 5 years older than me and 171 is only two years older than me. I have just been gifted with the lovely gift of impatience. It's something I struggle with...
[/quote]

you are a youngster

[Totus Tuus]

My parents knew I was discerning from a young age. When I decided to enter the monastery (which I obviously did not remain at forever), I told my mom over the phone during the visit when the community agreed to accept me. She told my dad. Although these anecdotes from others can be helpful/reassuring, it's important to remember that everyone is different and the way you are called to tell your parents is something that's between you and God

[PhuturePriest]

I told my sister immediately the first time I felt called to the Priesthood. In fact, so immediate that it probably wasn't even an hour after I first felt it. I was about eleven at the time and I brought her to a swing-set, and I immediately told her. She was so happy for me, and was so excited. "Seriously!" She said, "If you become a Priest I will love you!". She loves me now, of course, but she was trying to be a bit funny I suppose. We then went on a walk and talked about it, she said that she expected me to become Pope one day so I would call her on the phone and she would be able to say to everyone, "It's the Pope.", and about what it was going to be like. She's been supportive since day one, and I'll never forget that.

I then told my mom and dad eventually, in which they seemed indifferent about it. I was young at the time, and I changed my mind every five seconds, so they didn't take it too seriously. And they were right, as I soon felt my vocation was to marriage, as I payed the bills by being a big time Rock God. Well, after a few years, I realized that wasn't going to cut it, and when I had my Renewal of Faith, I felt called not to be a Rock Star, but to become a Priest once more. At first, I thought that this was maybe just a phase again, but it if it's a phase, it's a heck of a long phase, as none of my other phases have lasted near this long. They usually went away within a week at the most, but mine is here to stay.

Once I had my Renewal of Faith, I then told my parents and everyone once more, and at first they were indifferent again, but once they realized I was so serious about it that I was actually attempting to apply myself in school, they soon came to the realization that this time it may be for real. Hopefully, it will be.

Edited November 11, 2011 by FuturePriest387

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1320984967' post='2334747']
the 171 and I both, among countless others, struggle(d) with impatience, and that's fine. The only way to grow patient is to be patient in times where we want to be impatient. God's funny like that So that's my challenge to you, from one who began discerning at your age, be a kid and a saint now and a sister and a saint later.
[/quote]
Thank you. That actually really helps. And I will try. I just found out from the NM I have been talking to that they want you to have work experience or maybe 2 years of college before entrance, and I thought, "I can't stand to wait 5 years, there is NO WAY I am waiting 7!" I didn't tell the NM that, but I was thinking it. The NM told me that the wait will make me stronger and that she knows because it made her stronger as she was discerning from a very young age. That also helped me.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1320981629' post='2334716']
Soak in the nonsensicalness of childhood! The older you get, the more responsible you have to be--meh, not as much fun (as I speak from my infinite wisdom of 18 years ). There is a time for everything. You will make your live in and enter, if that is God's will, in its own time. Right now, it's your time to enjoy your teen years. Go to football/basketball games, dances, hang out with friends, get involved in clubs, go out of your comfort zone. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live," is the Dumbledore quote I like to use.
[/quote]

Exactly! While three years seems SO FAR AWAY, I am so happy to be where I am right now. Don't be afraid to do the normal teenage-y things--nothing illegal or immoral, though!

With time, your impatience will eventually go away, and you will receive the grace of patience. It is wonderful to pray for patience everyday!

[MarieLynn]

I did not actually tell my parents. When I turned 16, the Mother Superior of the Order approached them and asked if I could be in the next intake of Aspirants, as she felt I had a vocation and a strong affinity to their way of life. (I had been working as an Auxilliary at their Hospital at weekends and after school since I was 13) Thats how my parents learned of my desire to become a religious.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1321027479' post='2334925']

Exactly! While three years seems SO FAR AWAY, I am so happy to be where I am right now. Don't be afraid to do the normal teenage-y things--nothing illegal or immoral, though!

With time, your impatience will eventually go away, and you will receive the grace of patience. It is wonderful to pray for patience everyday!
[/quote]
Okay, thanks. 5 years seems a very long way a way, but also a very short time, and I guess it IS both. I will try hard to gradually grow into my vocation, but at the same time relish my last years of childhood.

[Strictlyinkblot]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1321037777' post='2335010']
Okay, thanks. 5 years seems a very long way a way, but also a very short time, and I guess it IS both. I will try hard to gradually grow into my vocation, but at the same time relish my last years of childhood.
[/quote]

Well, I have at least 3 years and probably more before I'm free to enter. Its hard but God knows what he's doing. He doesn't want us to enter until He's ready for us to enter.

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1320985161' post='2334750']

you are a youngster
[/quote]
you are an oldie

[MithLuin]

I haven't had to tell my family I'm discerning religous life, because I'm not

My sister informed the parish priest at our school that she wanted to be a priest too when she was in first grade. He told everyone (in front of the *entire* school), and she was in that school until 8th grade. So, eight years of your classmates calling you 'Father' as a joke is a bit weird, I suppose, and no one would really want to put up with that. She did get to play Jesus in a play her class put on once, though, on account of it. Still...definitely reasons *not* to spill the news too early.

[My sister was 6 at the time. She is now married and has three children. She did spend three years as a youth minister, so it all worked out.]

I told my family about wanting to do volunteer work in Africa when I was in college 10 years ago. Thus, when I brought it up again this spring after I knew I'd have the opportunity, it was interesting to hear their reactions. My mom was all, 'Wait, what?' and my Dad said, "She's been talking about this for 10 years." So, having told them earlier definitely made the conversation easier than it would have been if I had sprung, 'So...I'm moving to Ethiopia for a year,' on them without warning.

Obviously, there are other factors that go into the timing of this particular news. People you tell casually will sorta expect you to be a nun instantly after you tell them, so it might be a bit awkward if you aren't at the point of applying to a particular order or are rather early on in the discernment process. Sometimes, people you tell share the news for you, so....you wind up dealing with that anyway.

Whether you pick the 'right' time to share the news with your family or not...their reaction over time may change from their initial surprise. Parents don't want us to make mistakes about the important things in life, so sometimes their lack of support comes from their honest love and concern for us...and is just one more obstacle to surmount (or cross to bear) in the discernment process.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1321038920' post='2335016']

Well, I have at least 3 years and probably more before I'm free to enter. Its hard but God knows what he's doing. He doesn't want us to enter until He's ready for us to enter.
[/quote]
Very true!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='MithLuin' timestamp='1321043142' post='2335043']

Whether you pick the 'right' time to share the news with your family or not...their reaction over time may change from their initial surprise. Parents don't want us to make mistakes about the important things in life, so sometimes their lack of support comes from their honest love and concern for us...and is just one more obstacle to surmount (or cross to bear) in the discernment process.
[/quote]
Very true, that is one of my parents' biggest hurdles, I think. Is that they don't want me to male a mistake and make a promise before I know. Of course, there is now way for them to know when I "know", but I think they would be just as concerned about the same things if I were marrying a man on earth.

[savvy]

[b] FutureCarmelite Clare,[/b]


It's really amesome that you have this calling at your age. If someone had suggested becoming a nun when I was your age, I would have laughed my head off. I guess God works in his own time.

Edited November 12, 2011 by savvy

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='savvy' timestamp='1321059834' post='2335165']
[b]FutureCarmelite Clare,[/b]


It's really amesome that you have this calling at your age. If someone had suggested becoming a nun when I was your age, I would have laughed my head off. I guess God works in his own time.
[/quote]
Thanks! I am very thankful that I feel the call, but I just wish I knew exactly where. I am thinking the Carmelites, but I am trying to be open to His Will.