Sarah147 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I feel blessed in a way to have these health problems because it is allowing me to see what Orders are open to me. And so after getting no's from RSM and FSE, or seeing they aren't a right fit, I will see that God doesn't want me in religious life. The hard part, is does he want me single or married? I really need to live with someone and have loving affection and hugs, laughs, tears, talk to eachother, see eachother at home everyday, I know that much. I need that sort of community. I just don't know how good a parent I would be. But I guess you learn as you go along?
OnlySunshine Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Aw, I'm sorry, JoyfulLife. I know how you feel about getting the "no" from the community. I thought, when I got that same response Tuesday night, that it would be incredibly difficult to recover, but now, I'm sure that God has something else in store for me. I know He does for you, too. Prayers!
Nunsense Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322750899' post='2343159'] I feel blessed in a way to have these health problems because it is allowing me to see what Orders are open to me. And so after getting no's from RSM and FSE, or seeing they aren't a right fit, I will see that God doesn't want me in religious life. The hard part, is does he want me single or married? I really need to live with someone and have loving affection and hugs, laughs, tears, talk to eachother, see eachother at home everyday, I know that much. I need that sort of community. I just don't know how good a parent I would be. But I guess you learn as you go along? [/quote] JL - sometimes it's good to take a break from discerning - and just let life be life. I have done this before and it helps give you a fresh perspective on things, and makes it easier for you to hear the voice of God when you do start discerning (whatever) again. Just be nice to yourself right now. A lot has happened recently for you. So maybe focus on getting your life together without any serious discernment to confuse you right now? Anyway you know you have our love and support here.
Sarah147 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 I'M SO SORRY!!!!!! I must have poorly worded that. I did not get any answers from RSM or FSE yet. I meant IF I get no's...
OnlySunshine Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322754644' post='2343183'] I'M SO SORRY!!!!!! I must have poorly worded that. I did not get any answers from RSM or FSE yet. I meant IF I get no's... [/quote] Whoops! Sorry! Prayers continuing...
Cherie Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Maybe you could also consider a lay community.
Sarah147 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 Ever since seeing some really spiritual, clean cut, truly good young men on my retreat this year, I'm warming up to the idea of marriage and everything....If God shows me He doesn't want religious life for me. I don't know so much about lay orders; I don't really feel drawn to single life + lay order. My SD has mentioned some great qualities and gifts about me, so I think a man would be interested. My mental health is an issue but it's totally under control with medicine. And then there's the AI and hypothyroid, but that will get all sorted out.
OnlySunshine Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322774036' post='2343303'] Ever since seeing some really spiritual, clean cut, truly good young men on my retreat this year, I'm warming up to the idea of marriage and everything....If God shows me He doesn't want religious life for me. I don't know so much about lay orders; I don't really feel drawn to single life + lay order. My SD has mentioned some great qualities and gifts about me, so I think a man would be interested. My mental health is an issue but it's totally under control with medicine. And then there's the AI and hypothyroid, but that will get all sorted out. [/quote] You know, lately, I've been wondering what I would do if I wasn't called to religious life (which might be true from what has transpired), and I am still considering the idea of marriage, but I am also thinking about consecrated virginity again. I truly love my parish and our new Bishop, so I would be honored to be in their service. I'm not ruling anything out. Especially since I am still in the "mourning period" and giving myself time to recover from the news of no vocation. I'm OK with it now that I've processed it for 2 days and I know in my heart that God has something planned for me that will make me the happiest. What He wants, I want. [b]"[/b][i]I fear only one thing---to keep my own will; take it, my God, for I choose all that you choose[/i][b]." -- St. Therese of Lisieux[/b] Edited December 1, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae
Feankie Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Mater, you said you have no vocation. But that's perhaps no vocation to the RSM's. I believe the Lord will indeed show you the path you should be on. If you feel you are still called to religious life, then keep discerning until you find the absolutely right community. Have you totally ruled out comtemplatives? Are you sure you want an active apostolate? Give yourself time to sort through things with your SD. I will be praying.
she_who_is_not Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I have a coffee mug that reminds me to, "Avoid making decisions while tired or hungry." That means I have an 1.5 hour window to make decisions in any given day. In all seriousness, I agree with Francis Clare. Don't try to make any decisions right now. Rest in the Lord. I like the phrase, "Abiding in the Father's affection." When I am sad or lonely or emotionally overwrought, I stop and allow myself to rest in the arms of God. I don't think. I don't talk. I just am with Him. This has gotten me trought many a dark hour. Prayers for both MM and Joyful. I'm confident that the Lord has glorious things planned for you.
cmaD2006 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322754644' post='2343183'] I'M SO SORRY!!!!!! I must have poorly worded that. I did not get any answers from RSM or FSE yet. I meant IF I get no's... [/quote] whoooooooops we totally read it as bad news. Ok no news is good news as of yet. Will pray.
cmaD2006 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='she_who_is_not' timestamp='1322780734' post='2343374'] I have a coffee mug that reminds me to, "Avoid making decisions while tired or hungry." [/quote] I SOOOOO WANT THAT MUG. Most appropriate for work. Definitely.
OnlySunshine Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='Francis Clare' timestamp='1322780347' post='2343368'] Mater, you said you have no vocation. But that's perhaps no vocation to the RSM's. I believe the Lord will indeed show you the path you should be on. If you feel you are still called to religious life, then keep discerning until you find the absolutely right community. Have you totally ruled out comtemplatives? Are you sure you want an active apostolate? Give yourself time to sort through things with your SD. I will be praying. [/quote] Well, what I really meant to say is that I have no vocation to the RSMs. I don't know whether or not I have a vocation to religious life. I'm still sorting things out from Tuesday night, so I am really not in a good position to look at other communities. Unfortunately, I don't have a spiritual director, but I have considered calling my pastor and talking to him about it. I also have a meeting with my therapist next week and I will definitely be discussing this to see what she has to say. As far as contemplative life goes, I really don't think I have a vocation to the cloister. But, like I said, I am not ruling out anything. I'm considering the possibility of secular institutes, but I have to do some research to see which ones to contact. Thank you for your prayers!
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Praying for you both, Mater and JL. Prayers, prayers, prayers.
InPersonaChriste Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I think that it is very healthy to realise the possibility of not being called to the religious life. If I would have heard a no from the Benedictines 6 months ago I would have been incredibly dissapointed. But after taking a step back from discernment and really tackling some of my domestic responsibilities, I have become a person who is more or less content with the thought of getting a no from a community. Because everything happens for a reason.
Nunsense Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1322799380' post='2343551'] I think that it is very healthy to realise the possibility of not being called to the religious life. If I would have heard a no from the Benedictines 6 months ago I would have been incredibly dissapointed. But after taking a step back from discernment and really tackling some of my domestic responsibilities, I have become a person who is more or less content with the thought of getting a no from a community. Because everything happens for a reason. [/quote] God is with us no matter what happens. But He also doesn't place things in our heart that He won't fulfil. That's why discernment is so important. There is a difference between an temporary desire and a heart's desire. When we discern, we are trying to figure out which type of desire we have. To me, it's a bit like Jeremiah. He didn't want to be called by God so he resisted but found that he couldn't stop the burning in his heart unless he was answering the call. To me, that kind of desire is placed there by God. But if we find that by ignoring the desire, we eventually have more peace in that choice, then perhaps that desire was there only to guide us along a path that would bring us closer to God, but once this has been accomplished, then God can lead one along another path. I think it is one of those things that needs such careful discernment because there are two problems that can arise - giving up when one only needs to persevere, or to hang on when it is time to let go. And no one except the individual can know which of these to do... that's why the help of a good SD is so important. It doesn't matter which choice is made, because God has plans for all of us that are for our good, but for our peace of mind, we need to find out which direction to take. I liked Luigi's status question about what is the difference between perseverence and stubbornness - because how can we judge anyone except ourselves in this area? What for one might be sheer stubbornness, for another might be enduring perseverence. Discern, discern, discern - no wonder Ignatius felt it was so important!
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 Mater, have you considered the FSE? They are similar to the RSM, in that many of them are professionals, in social working, mental, medical, etc. They are franscisans. They had let a women in with bipolar on medicine, so they are open to mental health issues.
OnlySunshine Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322839947' post='2343627'] Mater, have you considered the FSE? They are similar to the RSM, in that many of them are professionals, in social working, mental, medical, etc. They are franscisans. They had let a women in with bipolar on medicine, so they are open to mental health issues. [/quote] I've looked at their website a few times, but never truly gave them consideration. I really don't feel attracted to them right now. Thanks for the suggestion, though.
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 I'm not very fond of them either, but maybe things will change. I want to visit with their VD and get advice.
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) If I get no's from RSM and FSE, I know God is asking me for marriage mostly. That's what appeals to me as compared to single life. I love being around a community, friends, start my own family, etc. That will take further discernment down the road. I believe it was Mrs Everet that wrote out a huge list of all the godly qualities she wanted in a man and prayed for her future spouse for a long time before finding Jason!!! I just love those young, wholesome, Catholic, faithful, innocent and pure, godly men out there. They come from a w esome homeschooled families. Edited December 2, 2011 by JoyfulLife
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