AccountDeleted Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1322799380' post='2343551'] I think that it is very healthy to realise the possibility of not being called to the religious life. If I would have heard a no from the Benedictines 6 months ago I would have been incredibly dissapointed. But after taking a step back from discernment and really tackling some of my domestic responsibilities, I have become a person who is more or less content with the thought of getting a no from a community. Because everything happens for a reason. [/quote] God is with us no matter what happens. But He also doesn't place things in our heart that He won't fulfil. That's why discernment is so important. There is a difference between an temporary desire and a heart's desire. When we discern, we are trying to figure out which type of desire we have. To me, it's a bit like Jeremiah. He didn't want to be called by God so he resisted but found that he couldn't stop the burning in his heart unless he was answering the call. To me, that kind of desire is placed there by God. But if we find that by ignoring the desire, we eventually have more peace in that choice, then perhaps that desire was there only to guide us along a path that would bring us closer to God, but once this has been accomplished, then God can lead one along another path. I think it is one of those things that needs such careful discernment because there are two problems that can arise - giving up when one only needs to persevere, or to hang on when it is time to let go. And no one except the individual can know which of these to do... that's why the help of a good SD is so important. It doesn't matter which choice is made, because God has plans for all of us that are for our good, but for our peace of mind, we need to find out which direction to take. I liked Luigi's status question about what is the difference between perseverence and stubbornness - because how can we judge anyone except ourselves in this area? What for one might be sheer stubbornness, for another might be enduring perseverence. Discern, discern, discern - no wonder Ignatius felt it was so important! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 Mater, have you considered the FSE? They are similar to the RSM, in that many of them are professionals, in social working, mental, medical, etc. They are franscisans. They had let a women in with bipolar on medicine, so they are open to mental health issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322839947' post='2343627'] Mater, have you considered the FSE? They are similar to the RSM, in that many of them are professionals, in social working, mental, medical, etc. They are franscisans. They had let a women in with bipolar on medicine, so they are open to mental health issues. [/quote] I've looked at their website a few times, but never truly gave them consideration. I really don't feel attracted to them right now. Thanks for the suggestion, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 I'm not very fond of them either, but maybe things will change. I want to visit with their VD and get advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) If I get no's from RSM and FSE, I know God is asking me for marriage mostly. That's what appeals to me as compared to single life. I love being around a community, friends, start my own family, etc. That will take further discernment down the road. I believe it was Mrs Everet that wrote out a huge list of all the godly qualities she wanted in a man and prayed for her future spouse for a long time before finding Jason!!! I just love those young, wholesome, Catholic, faithful, innocent and pure, godly men out there. They come from a w esome homeschooled families. Edited December 2, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 Joyful, Even if you get rejected, God might still be calling you to religious life. You might just be called to be more patient, and deepen your prayer life, before God can unfold his plans for you. I have a learning disability too and take medication. I was rejected by several orders who though their life might be too hectic for me. To be fair I was also not completely at peace when I was with them. I dropped the idea of religious life, then at the Life in the Spirit Seminar, the call back back. I needed to spend time in prayer and just getting closer to God. And just have faith and trust in Him. None of my attempts at relationships worked out, because obstacles would just come up along the way. It was very mysterious. I am now discerning with a community, that I totally fit into, despite their active lifestyle. They said that because I have a very low dose, they will consider me, and need to spend time getting to know me. So don't lose hope. Just keep praying. God works in His time, and will surprise you when the time is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Share Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) I don't believe I have a vocation IF the RSM and FSE tell me God isn't calling me. As I've contacted all the semi-contemplative orders, and it's a no-go. I'm not for the totally active nor non-veil, and the full cloisters totally frown upon depression and mental issues because there isn't much outlet to release steam there. But I did forget the Los Angeles sisters; they are semi and wanted to talk on the phone, but I'm pretty sure they don't have the resources to care for me. Edited December 2, 2011 by JoyfulLife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 [quote]I don't believe I have a vocation IF the RSM and FSE tell me God isn't calling me. As I've contacted all the semi-contemplative orders, and it's a no-go. I'm not for the totally active nor non-veil, and the full cloisters totally frown upon depression and mental issues because there isn't much outlet to release steam there. But I did forget the Los Angeles sisters; they are semi and wanted to talk on the phone, but I'm pretty sure they don't have the resources to care for me. [/quote] I will keep you in my prayers, so that God will show you want he wants for you. Just be open to different orders, provided they are faithful to the church. You never know sometimes until you try. I had a list of things that I wanted, but when I came across the communities that had those things, I was not totally at peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 JL and MM - sometimes it is a good idea to take a step back from discerning to be quiet, inside and out. Whatever happens, your efforts to come closer to God are pleasing to Him. If you get indicators that you need to stop discerning for awhile, then maybe that's what you need. JL, I know you haven't heard back definitively from your communities yet but be gentle with yourself, whatever the responses. I took a break from discerning for a little while when I needed time for prayer and a little alone time with God. It was like letting the land lie fallow for a season. It refreshes the soul to just be still and listen for His voice. Our prayers are with you as you and MM (and any others who are currently going through some confusing times). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 [quote name='nunsense' timestamp='1322874463' post='2343828'] JL and MM - sometimes it is a good idea to take a step back from discerning to be quiet, inside and out. Whatever happens, your efforts to come closer to God are pleasing to Him. If you get indicators that you need to stop discerning for awhile, then maybe that's what you need. JL, I know you haven't heard back definitively from your communities yet but be gentle with yourself, whatever the responses. I took a break from discerning for a little while when I needed time for prayer and a little alone time with God. It was like letting the land lie fallow for a season. It refreshes the soul to just be still and listen for His voice. Our prayers are with you as you and MM (and any others who are currently going through some confusing times). [/quote] Yes, I am definitely taking a step back from discernment right now. I'm sure that is what any good spiritual director would recommend I do so that I can get rid of any negative feelings and be able to think again with a clear head. Now is just not the right time to be making any important decisions concerning my vocation and I'm OK with that. Whatever the Holy Spirit wills! I'm sure He'll nudge me again when it is time. I just have to keep praying so that I move in the right direction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 3, 2011 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 Life sure is confusing. And it's rough having to wait to hear back. And it's a little scary thinking I might be entering sooner than I expected, but at the same time, I feel kind of excited about everything, especially since I'm finally getting my health conditions figured out in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 [quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1322917176' post='2344032'] Life sure is confusing. And it's rough having to wait to hear back. And it's a little scary thinking I might be entering sooner than I expected, but at the same time, I feel kind of excited about everything, especially since I'm finally getting my health conditions figured out in time. [/quote] JL - I'm sorry but I'm a little confused - probably the result of so many people on here discerning, visiting, entering etc but -- are you waiting to hear if you can go for a first visit, or to hear if you can enter? You say you might be entering sooner than expected, but I didn't realise you had even gone for a first visit yet. You do know that these things take time, don't you? It could be six months to a year from time of first visit to actually entering. Look at faithcecelia's journey this past year and she isn't inside yet -- just doing a live-in. So I am just hoping that you aren't counting your chickens before they're hatched here? I wouldn't like to see you get too disappointed by building up your expectations - that's all. If I am off base, I apologise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted December 3, 2011 Author Share Posted December 3, 2011 It's true, I haven't even visited yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Nun Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Joyful. Just to add a possibility to the debate. You know I sent a very, very brief email to the VD of the RSM? I just asked if they considered older vocations.I have not had a reply at all as yet either. So, it may well simply be that the VD is busy - particularly with it being advent as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted December 3, 2011 Share Posted December 3, 2011 Joyful and Lil'Nun I'm not sure how long it has been but it seemed to take at around two weeks for the VD of the RSMs to get back to me. It was about 20 days between the time I e-mailed her for the first time and when she got back to me. Her emails to me also tended to be in the evening too. So if it has only been a week or so I wouldn't worry too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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