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Discerning Single/josephite/marriage?


Sarah147

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[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1323647773' post='2349400']
Wow. Isn't that amazing? His path will lead to holiness and get me to Heaven, assuming I follow it faithfully. :)
[/quote]

And here's another little encouragement that has been so helpful for me over the years:

Let's say you don't follow Him faithfully. Let's say you make a couple of mistakes along the way that aren't necessarily His plan for you.

He'll still use all of that to bring good things. It's kind of like taking a detour and getting lost -- eventually, you'll end up where you're supposed to be. Just be sincere and don't outright reject Him, and you'll be fine. :)

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The biggest thing for me would be to be faithful to being open to children and using nfp, and never the pill. If I go down the marriage path. I know so many friends and relatives that use the pill, so I've got to be faithful and strong about this.

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[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1323561794' post='2348757']
Late twenties. :)

Josephite is a marriage without sexual relations. It's focused on living chastity.

I was more focused on that when I didn't think I could manage children, but that fear is slowly fading. :)
[/quote]

I don't think it's easy to get a Josephite marriage approved. I could be wrong but I think our marriage counselor priest mentioned something about it being very rare for a couple to be called not to have sexual relations... and children.

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[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1323735070' post='2350013']
The biggest thing for me would be to be faithful to being open to children and using nfp, and never the pill. If I go down the marriage path. I know so many friends and relatives that use the pill, so I've got to be faithful and strong about this.
[/quote]
This may sound straightforward, but it's actually not hard to not use the pill. You just don't ask your doctor for it, go to the pharmacy, have it filled, and pick it up. Granted, it can probably be tempting for some people, but honestly if you're not a place to have children, NFP is really a lot simpler than you might think.

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[quote name='Totus Tuus' timestamp='1323738440' post='2350049']
NFP is really a lot simpler than you might think.
[/quote]

I love NFP! :winner:

And it's true; it's not hard at all NOT to use the pill, especially if you've been trained in a method of NFP from the get-go (i.e. before marriage.) So make sure you get trained in a method. I think this is good for EVERY woman, not just those who are preparing for marriage. "Female problems" occur no matter what your vocation, and following the methods of NFP can do so much to pinpoint the problem and get effective treatment. Plus, I think it would be a very good asset for a religious, that way she could speak from experience and give advice to couples who have no idea what NFP is (and LOTS and LOTS don't!) There are also many different methods out there, so if you find one that doesn't fit you for any reason, you can definitely switch to another.

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[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1323735070' post='2350013']
The biggest thing for me would be to be faithful to being open to children and using nfp, and never the pill. If I go down the marriage path. I know so many friends and relatives that use the pill, so I've got to be faithful and strong about this.
[/quote]
[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1323741564' post='2350101']

I love NFP! :winner:

And it's true; it's not hard at all NOT to use the pill, especially if you've been trained in a method of NFP from the get-go (i.e. before marriage.) So make sure you get trained in a method. I think this is good for EVERY woman, not just those who are preparing for marriage. "Female problems" occur no matter what your vocation, and following the methods of NFP can do so much to pinpoint the problem and get effective treatment. Plus, I think it would be a very good asset for a religious, that way she could speak from experience and give advice to couples who have no idea what NFP is (and LOTS and LOTS don't!) There are also many different methods out there, so if you find one that doesn't fit you for any reason, you can definitely switch to another.
[/quote]

I found out in my early 20s (I'm 28 now) that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) due to the diagnosis of my OB/GYN. I have always had issues with irregularity, so I do worry about being able to conceive and bear children if I discern the call to marriage. Women with PCOS have a much higher risk of miscarriages and gestational diabetes because of insulin resistance. I have never been to see an Endocrinologist, but I hope to find a full-time job soon and get health insurance so I can get an appointment with one. They know more about bioidentical hormone replacement therapies than an OB/GYN. I was also not given any tests aside from a 12 hour blood sugar test, so I can't be absolutely sure that I have PCOS. It could be something else. I really need to get an ultrasound of my ovaries and have blood tests done to check my hormone levels.

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[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1323742126' post='2350111']

I found out in my early 20s (I'm 28 now) that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) due to the diagnosis of my OB/GYN. I have always had issues with irregularity, so I do worry about being able to conceive and bear children if I discern the call to marriage. Women with PCOS have a much higher risk of miscarriages and gestational diabetes because of insulin resistance. I have never been to see an Endocrinologist, but I hope to find a full-time job soon and get health insurance so I can get an appointment with one. They know more about bioidentical hormone replacement therapies than an OB/GYN. I was also not given any tests aside from a 12 hour blood sugar test, so I can't be absolutely sure that I have PCOS. It could be something else. I really need to get an ultrasound of my ovaries and have blood tests done to check my hormone levels.
[/quote]

I wish I could set you up with a NaPro doctor. My old ob/gyn group in Harrisburg, PA was NFP-only and NaPro trained. (I'm sure other methods would also be helpful, but I only speak from experience with Creighton Model, because it's the only method I've been trained in and it's worked well for me.) They do a TON of work with women with PCOS. I know an NFP forum you might be interested in joining; they have a TON of ladies there who could offer advice, support, and encouragement. You might find it's a good resource for you!

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[quote name='CherieMadame' timestamp='1323742379' post='2350116']

I wish I could set you up with a NaPro doctor. My old ob/gyn group in Harrisburg, PA was NFP-only and NaPro trained. (I'm sure other methods would also be helpful, but I only speak from experience with Creighton Model, because it's the only method I've been trained in and it's worked well for me.) They do a TON of work with women with PCOS. I know an NFP forum you might be interested in joining; they have a TON of ladies there who could offer advice, support, and encouragement. You might find it's a good resource for you!
[/quote]

I'd be up for anything. I really wish I could afford to go to see a specialist. Please pray for me to find a job very soon! :)

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This goes for your suspected thyroid issues, and other issues you brought up... Something I learned from other thyroid/adrenal patients is that endocrinologists are the toughest to give diagnosis. The best thing is to see a family or internist that does biodentical hormone replacement or a good ND that does bioidentical. Because if you aren't severe, most won't give you dx; I'd look for an open minded doctor.

Edited by JoyfulLife
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I suggest praying, but most of all listening. Maybe go to a chapel and just kneel or sit and listen to the Lord. It is difficult with the many distractions in life, but this really helps! Here is a prayer that I have:


[b]Oh, Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul... I adore You. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me. Tell me what I should do.... give me Your orders. I promise to submit myself to all that You desire of me and then accept all that You permit to happen to me. Let me only know your will. Amen.[/b]


This prayer is powerful. Many prayers for you and your exciting adventure with the Lord! :)

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[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1323874330' post='2351156']


This prayer is powerful. Many prayers for you and your [b]exciting adventure with [/b]the Lord! :)
[/quote]

Thank you soooo much!! :yahoo: This is all very exciting. I've been so persistant on religious life for years now, and so it's different to be thinking that marriage could be a possible calling.

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  • 2 weeks later...
StClare_OraProNobis

Does anyone actually know anyone who is in one of these so-called josephite marriages?

It seems so unusual. It is hard to imagine anyone actually doing this.

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I believe Lilllabettt does. I think it was in this [url="http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/110147-josephite-marriage/"]thread.[/url]

I believe I posted a mention in there about my concern about raising children, but that fear seems to be fading. I think a lot of it was my insecurity and worries.

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[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1323696452' post='2349726']
I actually met my husband just when, at 31, I had really become comfortable with the idea that I wouldn't marry at all since my "bashert" [Yiddish word which means "destined one"] hadn't shown up and people tend to marry rather young in Israel [meet in the army, etc.] You can't force these things. [Jewish proverb: God created the heaven and the earth in 6 days, rested on the Sabbath, and since then has been matching men and women up for marriages]

I would second all those who advise continuing your discernment, but also keep an open mind. You could meet Mr. Right tomorrow, or you could find the Perfect Religious Order [which might be entirely different than the ones you've been investigating] also.
[/quote]

Thank you for these words. It's a good reminder that God has our future planned out for us. If we make our plans....God will laugh :).

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