Dark Night?

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Okay, so I thought maybe my VSrs could help me with this one, I wasn't sure where an appropriate place to post this would be... So, when in doubt, use VS!

So... Back to my original problem.
I think I may be entering my "Dark Night of the Soul"... Yes, I know you guys are going to laugh at me because I'm 13, but I still need help regardless. I feel as though when I pray there is barely or no fruit at all from it. It's like I don't feel like I get anything anymore... It makes me scared and distraught. I cling to God. I do not feel as though God has left me as many of the saints have described their "Dark Night", but I have spiritual dryness. I've tried mixing up my night prayers and morning prayers and doing different ones, but it only helped for a little while. Yes, this is recent. It just started very recently, and I am just scared. Really scared. My little brother got me a breviary for Christmas, as I have been doing Compline on my own and I wanted to start doing the full Liturgy of the Hours, but I am scared that if I do that I will feel the same spiritual dryness, and I just don't know what to do. Would adding more prayers be good? I don't want to back down on my prayers because during this time I need to cling to God, but I just don't know what to do. I know that I need more prayer in my life, but right now I don't feel like I am bearing fruit through my prayer for me or for anyone else, and it makes me want to cry. I need help, Phamily...

[OnlySunshine]

St. Therese of Lisieux described her dark night as being the one thing that caused her to have suicidal temptations when her tuberculosis was very advanced. The devil was constantly tormenting her and she said that if she did not know God, she would have ended her life. It made me realize how much of a human she was and that she had the same temptations that people today have.

Since you say that you are only experiencing spiritual dryness and not a complete loss of God, I do not believe you are experiencing a dark night of the soul. Everyone goes through spiritual dryness at one time or another (I know I have been through a few), but they don't last. My advice to you is to continue to pray. No matter what, continue to pray! This is the best way to beat this feeling of separation from God. St. Teresa of Avila described this period in "The Interior Castle" as being the time that God tests you to see if you will remain faithful to Him even though it's hard to see Him. You know He is there, but "He is obscured by smoke and cloud." God never leaves us. It's our humanity that often separates us from Him.

Find a spiritual director if you don't have one. Ask your parish priest and maybe they could recommend someone to you. Merry Christmas!!! [img]http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/christmas/santa-dance.gif[/img]

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Thanks, that helps a bit, but of course I still feel the same way. I will continue to pray even though it seems as though nothing is coming from it. Should I bump-up my prayers? Should I start doing full Liturgy of the Hours?
Yes, I am definitely going to ask my confessor to be my SD, and I have been meaning to ask him in Confession, but everytime I go, it is a different priest, not him. :/ Would it be okay to ask him outside of Confession?
Thank you for the advice and for not just saying, "You're young." because that doesn't really help anybody.

[Lil'Monster]

You're young..Jus kidding!



Love ya!

[AccountDeleted]

I don't know if youth has anything to do with it or not, but perhaps inexperience does. The reason we pray is not to 'feel something' but to give glory to God. When God grants consolations in prayer, it is because we are weak and need support and encouragement. As we get stronger in faith, He will often remove some or all of the consolations during prayer so that we begin to offer back to Him some of the love that He has been showering on us. It is similar to a child learning to walk (but only similar), in that the parents will hold onto the child's hand until she gets her balance, and then slowly withdraw it to enable the child to learn to walk on her own. It is only similar however, because God never actually lets go of our hand, His just makes his presence less 'felt'. The 'felt presence' of God is a great gift, and He bestows it according to His own will and knowledge of what we need.

There is no doubt in my mind, that as long as you continue to walk the path of faith and trust in God, that He will always be there for you, even if at times, you cannot 'feel' Him. As St Ignatius tells us, in times of desolation, we must continue to do whatever it was that we were doing before the desolation hit. so if you have a regular prayer routine, then continue with that, not so that God can make you feel good, but so you can give glory to Him and thank Him for all that He has done for you already, and will continue to do in the future. Increasing prayer is fine, as long as it is not some kind of 'bargaining tool' you are using to try to make God do your will and give you back your consolations.

Over time, you will see that these times come and then they go again, sort of like the tide in the ocean. You will experience times when God 'feels' very near, and times when He doesn't, but the reality is that he never leaves you, He simply allows you to try to walk a little on your own, to strengthen your trust and faith in Him.

This too shall pass you know, that's the thing that youth doesn't know yet. Perseverence is a life long lesson for all of us.

[BarbTherese]

Feelings including devout feelings or consolation in prayer can come and go and for a variety of reasons. It might take spiritual direction to identify them. However, no matter what we feel or cannot feel, it does not change that God is with us loving and caring for us - and so when feelings and devotion wane, this has not changed God in any way nor His Relationship to us of Loving Care and Mercy. His Divine Providence knows where we are and why and we respond with loving trust and Faith. And so at these times of 'no devotion' we lean on Faith which believes what it cannot yet see or grasp and continue with simplicity on our way as before. It is not a good time, however, when we are experiencing spiritual dryness to increase our prayer times. Rather with simplicity to continue as before. However, sometimes indeed, spiritual dryness can come about because we have overloaded ourselves with prayer and spiritual exercises - as I said lack of devout feelings can come and go for a variety of reasons and it might take spiritual direction to identify reasons.
If God leads us into The Dark Night of classical description (and only The Lord can so lead) as in St John of The Cross, we can be assured that His Grace is with us to lead us as He May. He leads into The Dark Night and beyond if necessary and how could One who loves and cares for us lead to any sort of 'destruction'. The Lord knows what He is about. No need for any sort of panic or overloading of emotional responses at any time when one trusts The Lord since His Grace is always with us. Where we are in the spiritual life as to its name is really not important - it is our response to wherever we may be that is important. And wherever we are, our response is always ideally one of humility, Faith and of trust, confidence for The Lord and His Grace never fails us and no matter where we are, even The Dark Night. Walk with simplicity and trust, Faith, in The Lord and in His Will in the duties of your particular state in life.
If you are struggling with mental prayer - you could use a book, or recite carefully prayers you know by heart. Pray as you can not as you cannot. And prayer is simply to place oneself in the Presence of The Lord whether one can feel His Presence or not. He is always with us, waiting - Faith.
Best of all, speak to Father in Confession if you do not have a spiritual director.

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1324874926' post='2357574']
[u][b]Response By Claire to Post by MaterMisericoriae[/b][/u]
Thanks, that helps a bit, but of course I still feel the same way. I will continue to pray even though it seems as though nothing is coming from it. Should I bump-up my prayers? Should I start doing full Liturgy of the Hours?
Yes, I am definitely going to ask my confessor to be my SD, and I have been meaning to ask him in Confession, but everytime I go, it is a different priest, not him. :/ Would it be okay to ask him outside of Confession?
Thank you for the advice and for not just saying, "You're young." because that doesn't really help anybody.
[/quote]

[b][quote]Would it be okay to ask him outside of Confession?[/quote][/b]

[b]Absolutely ok.[/b]

Edited December 26, 2011 by BarbaraTherese

[faithcecelia]

This may be just the way God wills your prayer to be, and you may find it never changes. My old novice mistress is about 87 now (was 84 then) and in her whole life she had only ever had one 'experience' in prayer, in her 20s. This woman has been in Carmel since she was 18, had to be approved by Rome to become prioress well below the official minimum age, and is one of the main figures in bringing the UK Carmels through the changes of Vatican 2. She is a well known author on Carmel and prayer, and having spent 58years as either prioress or novice mistress she has guided dozens of women's prayerlives - all this with no consolation herself. When I entered she was so thrown by my paryerlife (which is very vivid and always has been - so far!) that she took advice from priest friends on how to help - she didn't doubt that my experiences were real, but had no way at all to relate to them. People sometimes say that they wish they prayed the way I do, that they wish they had my faith, but I always tell them that my faith and my prayerlife, while not completely seperable, are not specifically dependant on one another - maybe my prayer is as easy as it is because God knows my faith is very weak?? I don't and can't know, and ultimately its irrelevant.

If you do end up entering Carmel in the future, you will need to be disciplined. You will need to sit there through at least 2hrs of silent prayer a day (sometimes more - we had 6hrs adoration when I was at NH for Immaculate Conception, only breaking for meals) you will need to be present and attentive at the Office 7 times a day, regardless of whether you are 'feeling' anything. And there will be times when all you really feel is frustration, irritation, restless, the desire to flee, cold, sick,there will be times when you get a song in your head that will not go, or you can't get thoughts of your work out of your head, or you are distressed because you have just heard that your parents are dying, etc etc, the list is endless! But none of this is remotely important, all that matters is that you put yourself in God's presence and commit that time to Him. I heard someone say recently to be grateful when you find yourself distracted in prayer for the 30th time that session, as it means you have already returned your mind to God 29 times!

Don't try to fight the dryness, just pray regardless.

[Antigonos]

I'm going to suggest something different -- but it has worked for me.

IMO, the answer [i]isn't[/i] more prayer, but rather the quality of what you do pray. You don't want to set up a vicious circle where more and more arid prayer leads to anxiety or despair. Break the cycle of aridity by making a change.

Try setting a particular time--and I would suggest no longer than half an hour--begin with a short prayer, even an extempore one, asking for better concentration and understanding, and then either read a single Psalm or a short section of the Bible, concentrating on visualization and complete understanding of the text. If you have access to literature about what you are reading, all the better. In a sense [as I understand it], what you will be doing is similar to lectio divina. Afterwards, if you want, recite something from the breviary or prayerbook, but keep it short. Try to arrange that you can do this at a time when you are undisturbed and not so tired you can't concentrate.

The advantages are: it is a bit different from rote recitation of prayers already so well known as to be [if I can use the term] boring. The "newness" will aid textual study, and provide a break from what you are feeling is doing you no good. Eventually, when you are feeling better, by all means resume a more orthodox approach to prayer. You will be focusing on something other than your own difficulties, but rather the thoughts of the Psalmist, or on the origins of your faith.

By all means try to get a spiritual director. But relax. Everyone has arid spells. In spite of the fact that the Hebrew liturgy is very beautiful, and many of the words have untranslatable nuances, I once found great spiritual refreshment in deliberately ONLY reading the English translation of the prayers during the Day of Atonement. Indeed, I noticed many aspects I hadn't previously noted.

[beatitude]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1324869421' post='2357501']
I feel as though when I pray there is barely or no fruit at all from it. It's like I don't feel like I get anything anymore... It makes me scared and distraught. I cling to God...I know that I need more prayer in my life, but right now I don't feel like I am bearing fruit through my prayer for me or for anyone else, and it makes me want to cry.[/quote]

Everyone has already given good advice, but I wanted to pick up on this specific thing: the idea that your prayer isn't fruitful.

Whenever you pray, no matter how you feel, God is with you.

Whenever you pray, no matter how you feel, you are doing something good.

Accept this experience as a gift from God, and you will be enriched by it. Ask for total trust and gratitude. These things are far more valuable than a sensation of comfort in prayer.

I have had patches of spiritual dryness - including one, when I was eighteen, that made me feel as though all the world was coming to an end. They do pass. The best remedy is to be gentle with yourself. I wouldn't add the full weight of the whole Divine Office now - that definitely isn't being gentle with yourself! I think you should persevere with Compline, as it's a short office and it isn't good to alter your routine too drastically. But integrate the suggestions from Antigonos - perhaps begin just by chatting to God about your day, entrusting all your efforts and prayers to him. Trust that He values them even if to you they feel like nothing.

[Feankie]

I had to jump in here for a bit. IMHO it's been a failure to be still and listen. For me, rote prayers don't work as much as simply speaking from the heart and soul, telling the Lord what's really bothering me, then listening for that still small voice to respond. Sometimes the response doesn't come when I want it to, maybe later in the day, in the week, in unexpected ways, through other people, sometimes not at all. but I know I've done my best in pouring out my heart in prayer.

Perhaps this is teaching/learning expeirnece for you. Perhaps it's a lesson in patience, in not self-deprecation, in being in the present moment. the Lord is always with you whether you discern HIm there or not.

I would encourage you to spill it all out to your spiritual director. There are many suggestions I would gently give if I were him/her. but as I'm not sitting down with you face to face and don't have a relationship with you, it would be less than honest or ethical for me to give you personalized guidance.

Blessings to you.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Thanks everybody, I have decided I will get a SD as soon as possible, and that I am also going to talk to some people who know me very well and can share in my struggles. I have felt spiritual dryness before, but as much as I can remember, it has never been this bad...

[i<3LSOP]

Claire, many prayers for you!

I feel the same way at times too and it's scary. It's like you're loosing control of something that you trust. Pray anyways even if you feel a "dryness". God hears you! Mother Theresa felt the same way and was often troubled but still worked and loved God. I suggest weekly confession if possible, Mass in the week and on Sunday, and especially a spiritual director! I don't have an SD, but I know a lady who does and she said it is so helpful to her and it has helped her to grow in understanding and peace in the Catholic faith. Interior silence. That says it! I know you're probably getting tired of everyone here on PM saying that, but it really really really helps! Just go in a quiet chapel or in your bed room, kneel, and listen. Clear your mind of distractions and don't let your imagination start up. Interior silence is how I "found the Holy Spirit" I just felt a peace and a strange warmness go over my body and a presence so deep that I can't describe. Turn to the Blessed Mother whom I often call "Mummy Mary" in my mind. She is your real mother. She loves her little children and will help you for sure. Love ya Claire. *hugs*

[TheresaThoma]

I also encourage you to continue praying, though I would suggest "shaking things up". Sometimes I feel like I have become stuck and experience dryness, at those times I keep my amount of prayer the same but I try different things. For example instead of just jumping into mental prayer I might start out with reading a little bit of a good spiritual book. As I am reading I "listen" for an indication to stop reading and meditate/pray about what I just read. (I'm sorry I can't describe it better, but really it is just a feeling of needing to put the book down and pray) Sometimes it happens after just a paragraph or two but sometimes I have to read a few pages to get to that point.
I would also suggest keeping a journal if you don't already do so. I find this helpful because when I go back and read old entries I sometimes see how God was subtlety working in my prayers but I couldn't see it in those individual prayer times.

[Sarah147]

It's generally advised against to have your confessor also be your spiritual director because things you talked about in confession can't be brought up by him in sd. It gets complicated.