Dark Night?

[Byzantine]

Hope you don't mind, but I thought it would be easiest for me to slip my comments in here and there. I'll admit I haven't read the whole thread. So, the advice of a 17-year-old to a 13-year-old:

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1324869421' post='2357501']
Okay, so I thought maybe my VSrs could help me with this one, I wasn't sure where an appropriate place to post this would be... So, when in doubt, use VS!

So... Back to my original problem.
I think I may be entering my "Dark Night of the Soul"... Yes, I know you guys are going to laugh at me because I'm 13, but I still need help regardless. I feel as though when I pray there is barely or no fruit at all from it. It's like I don't feel like I get anything anymore... It makes me scared and distraught. I cling to God. I do not feel as though God has left me as many of the saints have described their "Dark Night", but I have spiritual dryness.
[color=#ff0000]Unless I'm mistaken, the Desert Fathers had a word for this. Acedia, I think, although I don't think it was sinful in their usage (I can be completely off on this one, though). Anyway, if you're talking about the "blah" feeling, the Desert is quite clear: persevere, stay the course. I think it was the "Monk of the Eastern Church" who wrote [i]On the Invocation of the Name of Jesus [/i](although I could be off on the author; may be someone way more ancient) who said things like this can happen to remind us that when we do feel something it is a gift of God. Something also about avoiding seeking the feeling as an end in itself, I think.[/color]

I've tried mixing up my night prayers and morning prayers and doing different ones, but it only helped for a little while.
[color=#ff0000]I strongly recommend against this. The key is perseverance. Stay the course. Trust me; if every time I felt the desire to not say the Third Hour (not sure what your equivalent is post-VII) in the morning and Compline at night, I could see myself by now having gotten to the point of not praying at all. Try slowing down, if applicable. It seems like it's helping me. Persevere. I know [i]The Crisis[/i] wasn't written for Catholic teenagers trying to pray, but the opening might as well have been. "These are the times that try men's souls." Read the first few lines, subbing in Catholic vocal where applicable.[/color]

Yes, this is recent. It just started very recently, and I am just scared. Really scared. My little brother got me a breviary for Christmas, as I have been doing Compline on my own and I wanted to start doing the full Liturgy of the Hours, but I am scared that if I do that I will feel the same spiritual dryness, and I just don't know what to do.
[color=#ff0000]I echo whoever said that you need to get a spiritual director. Ideally, the priest you go to Confession too most often (I've found that having one priest hear my confession is a massive help. Because of this, he can say things like "you're weak in this area, so..."[/color]

Would adding more prayers be good?
[color=#ff0000]I asked my priest about this once. While this was because of something different (if I remember correctly), his response was that it would/might just increase my scrupulosity or something. So, I would discuss this with your spiritual director.[/color]

I don't want to back down on my prayers because during this time I need to cling to God, but I just don't know what to do.
[color=#ff0000]Don't back down, but I wouldn't try stepping up the set prayers without the advice of a spiritual director.[/color]
[/quote]

Hmm... Red text seems rather harsh... Next time I'll try something a little more pleasant... Hope this helps!

Edited December 30, 2011 by Byzantine

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1325210491' post='2359712']
Hope you don't mind, but I thought it would be easiest for me to slip my comments in here and there. I'll admit I haven't read the whole thread. So, the advice of a 17-year-old to a 13-year-old:



Hmm... Red text seems rather harsh... Next time I'll try something a little more pleasant... Hope this helps!
[/quote]

Thanks bunches!

[BarbTherese]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1325196257' post='2359598']
Very weird... It got worse a few days ago, but after I did my office this morning, it's like I started to feel better. I'm not totally back to normal yet, but God is starting to touch me again. I needed this to learn a lesson. I took my feelings of fruitfulness of prayer for granted, I wasn't constantly thinking about God before this happened. I thought about Him a lot, but not as much as I did when I felt He had departed from me. I need to focus on Him and relish the feelings I get from prayer because you never know when they will be taken away from you.
[/quote]

This is a consolation from God who never permits more than we can bear. In times of consolation and relief, for me it's an opportune time to ask God to help me bear any future cross better than the last.
I am so happy that the struggle and fear you were experiencing has diminished and that the sun is shining again for you. It has been a frightening experience and your previous post had me a bit concerned. It is wonderful too, and your response to God's Grace, that you have reflected on your experience and arrived at some conclusions and resolutions to take forward with you on your journey with God.
God bless and hold you close!

[MarysLittleFlower]

FutureCarmeliteClaire, from your description is sounds more like the "Dark night of the senses", but I can't know for sure, since I'm not a priest or your spiritual director it might help you to read the book by St John of the Cross - "dark night of the soul". It helps to distinguish between the two. Do you have a spiritual director or a good priest you could speak to? That can help a lot.

Whatever this is, I believe you it's very painful for you to go through. Don't omit any of the things you do: prayer, Sacraments, etc.. do them more, not less. If the things of the world don't bring any consolation, then it's a dark night (of the senses, or of the soul). If they do, then it's more of our fault that's what St John said. From your description it sounds like you are seeking God.

The dark night of the senses is spiritual dryness. Dark night of the soul is when the person is almost at perfection, but they go through a final trial where they feel God Himself has abandoned them - like how Jesus cried out, "My God, My God, why have You abandoned Me..". Very few go through this one though. It's incredibly painful, but - dark night of the senses is also very hard to go through.

So this sounds like the dark night of the senses, but don't be scared you'll come out of this with greater love for God. Just keep praying.. St Therese went through great spiritual dryness, probably the dark night of the soul, but she said - she cares more about giving Jesus consolation, than receiving it. It could be good to: for example, go visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament with the intention of consoling Him only, not caring at all how you feel, or if you feel anything. Even if all you feel is emptiness, still trusting and praying. Love for God does not consist in feelings many Saints have said this. Love for God is loving Him when it's hard, not when we have consolations, which are gifts. Seek to just give to Him, not receive. Don't dwell on your feelings or lack of them.

Don't measure 'good fruit' from your prayers, by how you feel, either.. the 'good fruit' would show later, for now, just keep praying and persevering

God bless!!

[MarysLittleFlower]

[i]If all the efforts seem fruitless...[/i]
[i]“[/i][color="navy"]You make me think of a little child that is learning to stand but does not know how to walk. In his desire to reach to top of the stairs to find his mother, he lifts his little foot to climb the first step. It is all in vain, and at each renewed effort he falls.” “Well, be like that little child. Always keep lifting your foot to climb the ladder of holiness, and do not imagine that you can mount even the first step. All God asks of you is good will. From the top of the ladder, He looks lovingly upon you, and soon, touched by your fruitful efforts, He will Himself come down, and taking you in His arms, will carry you to His Kingdom never again to leave Him. But should you cease to raise your foot, you will be left for long on the earth.” [/color]
(St Therese)

I love this quote by St Padre Pio: "In darkness, at times of tribulation and distress of the spirit, Jesus is with you. In such a state you see nothing but darkness, but I can assure you on God's behalf that the light of the Lord is all around you and pervades your spirit. . .You see yourself forsaken and I assure you that Jesus is holding you tighter than ever to His divine Heart." St. Padre Pio