Introduction And Question

[LinaSt.Cecilia2772]

Yay another discerner!!! Wooooo hoooooo this is great!!


First off welcome to the Pham. And I must inform you even more, the phorum is a crazy, amesome, intense, funny, spiritual, and great place to come to discern.

I'm praying for ya sister!

[somethingfishy]

I find writing important for me as well. I have kept journals since I was in primary school and it's a vital part of my spiritual life and of my prayer. When I was first discerning I spent a lot of time looking for congregations that would value/support this, but I sort of missed the point. I found congregations that looked perfect for me on paper, and are clearly good for a lot of women, but just weren't right once I made contact or visited. I was focusing a lot on my own skills/attributes, and matching those up with congregations. Which isn't a bad starting point when you're feeling overwhelmed with all the possible congregations out there, but it's not really sufficient. I hope you will soon be able to contact and visit different congregations -- it's so helpful to have those concrete examples of women living religious life. No one would try and date someone without ever seeing them or giving them a phone call, but lots of people approach discernment that way (and then wonder why they're having difficulty).

Writing and artistic skills are ones that most contemplative orders and many active orders would be happy to embrace, so on the whole I really wouldn't worry too much about that. It sounds like the practical aspects are the ones to focus on for you right now -- it sounds like you have an attraction and willingness toward religious life, but the biggest question would be fitness for the life (whether you are physically able to live in that way). Some of that would be determined by you and some by the congregation, as different ones have different standards for what they consider physical/mental fitness. Perhaps St Gemma Galgani would be a good friend for you right now, as she struggled mightily with poor health.

I'm not discerning with the Passionists, but here's a quote from a [url="http://www.passionistnuns.org/blog/2009/07/17/a-simple-kind-of-life/"]post[/url] on their website I found helpful: "The most important work done in the monastery is the work of our hearts in remaining prayerfully attentive to the presence of the Lord, no matter what we do." Good advice for discernment as well.

Edited to add: Welcome to Phatmass!

Edited March 6, 2012 by somethingfishy

[TheresaThoma]

I for the longest time struggled with how my skills could be used with in a community. My major is Aerospace Physics which I love. I couldn't understand why I could love Physics so much but also feel called to religious life. To me they seemed incompatible. I slowly learned just to trust that God would bring me to a community where those talents could be used even if it was in ways that I didn't expect. This brought me a lot of peace and has helped me to move forward in my discernment.

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='AuthorOfMyLife' timestamp='1331004624' post='2396724']
Yes, I have looked in the Daughters of St. Paul. I definitely respect them and their work. I'm afraid that my enthusiasm for them is rather dimmed by the modern-ness or secular-ness (to me) of their habits. Also, I don't think they are very interested in the Latin/Roman Mass (I could be wrong).
[/quote]

I would still give them some consideration -- they are a wonderful group of religious. You could always do a week-long visit (they have a Holy Week vocational retreat every year). That would give you a really good feel for who they are.

Welcome to the Pham!

[Antigonos]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1331050475' post='2396884']
I for the longest time struggled with how my skills could be used with in a community. My major is Aerospace Physics which I love. I couldn't understand why I could love Physics so much but also feel called to religious life. To me they seemed incompatible. I slowly learned just to trust that God would bring me to a community where those talents could be used even if it was in ways that I didn't expect. This brought me a lot of peace and has helped me to move forward in my discernment.
[/quote]

Aerospace physics, huh? Flying nuns, anyone? [just kidding]

[TheresaThoma]

[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1331057276' post='2396919']
Aerospace physics, huh? Flying nuns, anyone? [just kidding]
[/quote]
You have no idea how many time I get that joke...

[MessorCarus]

Welcome!

I've struggled many times wondering how God could use my gifts within different communities. There have been times I was sure I was called to teach (my degree is in English), but as I've grown in my discernment I've realized that I must be willing to let go of all my desires to use whatever gifts God has given me, in the way I would like. God alone knows all these gifts and how He wants to use them. I could teach someday or I may never use my degree. I must be willing to place it all in His hands. It's one of the most beautiful parts of discernment, trusting the God that knows what He has truly created us for.

You'll find plenty of support around here and many prayerful people ready to walk with you in your discernment. You'll find many surprises along the way as well! We are a phamily around here, we laugh and cry together and tease each other like crazy. Prepare to have tons of fun.

[Antigonos]

[quote name='TheresaThoma' timestamp='1331076408' post='2397018']
You have no idea how many time I get that joke...
[/quote]

Sorry! You must be sick of it by now...

But seriously, in this hi-tech age, I wonder if it might be possible to do what some kibbutzim have done in Israel. A kibbutz is a communal settlement, often agricultural, sometimes industrial. More and more, members who have professions or skills which can be used, via computer, to work "at home" for Israeli or even international industries, are encouraged to do so as it brings an income to the kibbutz by way of their salary. It is a waste for such a person to work in the fields or factory. Many kibbutzim are sufficiently rural that it doesn't make sense for a member to commute to work. Since a monastery or convent has to have some income, after all, might you find a way to be employed "virtually" while remaining inside? Just a thought.

[beatitude]

AuthorOfMyLife, from reading your posts it does seem as though you are a bit too centred on your own requirements. Joining a religious community is not like accepting a new job, so it's not about looking at your skills and then deciding where to go. Once you enter the monastery or convent, you could be given the task of laundry or gardening or teaching for years, with no time to write (except perhaps in a personal journal). The religious life doesn't deny people's talents, but it also fosters humility, and working under obedience in jobs that they might not ordinarily choose is one way of doing this. It is also essential to the community's spirit (and a good way of discovering gifts that you didn't know you had!).

When you enter religious life, you have to be prepared to sacrifice everything. Remember Jesus and the rich young man. Maybe you will write in the religious life, maybe you won't, but you can't enter with the expectation that you will have a career as a writer.

[TheresaThoma]

[quote name='Antigonos' timestamp='1331104521' post='2397142']
Sorry! You must be sick of it by now...

But seriously, in this hi-tech age, I wonder if it might be possible to do what some kibbutzim have done in Israel. A kibbutz is a communal settlement, often agricultural, sometimes industrial. More and more, members who have professions or skills which can be used, via computer, to work "at home" for Israeli or even international industries, are encouraged to do so as it brings an income to the kibbutz by way of their salary. It is a waste for such a person to work in the fields or factory. Many kibbutzim are sufficiently rural that it doesn't make sense for a member to commute to work. Since a monastery or convent has to have some income, after all, might you find a way to be employed "virtually" while remaining inside? Just a thought.
[/quote]
I honestly don't know. But I am just trusting that God will take care of that. An analogy I can think of is a toolbox. My vocation itself is the actual box and all my skills are the different tools inside. Some of them are very general and "basic", things that help me get through the day to day of life. Where others are highly specialized so I don't need them that often. Yet my toolbox/vocation is able to contain them all. I just have to find the right "toolbox" and everything will fit in it just right!

[AuthorOfMyLife]

Thank you, all of you who have shared your experiences of discerning a vocation while trying to figure out what to do about a particular craft/skill that you love.

And of course, you are all right!

I shouldn't focus so much on finding a "writing" friendly community. In the right community (which may be the one which will surprise me) ALL that I am and can do will be made use of.

(@somethingfishy, thank you for the St. Gemma Galgani suggestion--I do remember that she suffered many health problems, as have many of the saints. Also, thank you for the Passionists quote! I do think their spirit seems beautiful, so I will remember them.).

I would like to mention, in regard to beatitude's post, that I am not trying to make religious life a career. I don't care about a career as a writer. I would be happy to write a poem or short story and have as the author simply, "A Dominican/Benedition/etc. sister." I have many flaws, but I don't think looking at religious life as merely an occupation is one of them (thank God). In fact, one of the reasons why I am attracted to religious life is the obedience. I want to be more sure that how I am using my skills is how God wants me to use them. Yes, I'm writing truth-full stories and yes, I'm creating good-quality Easter/Christmas cards now--but could I be doing more? Could I be doing something entirely different that would be better for my souls and the souls of others? I have a hope that in religious life, where everything I do (even gardening or washing dishes, as you point out) will be done, by virtue of my intentions and vows, for Christ, I will really be doing all I can do--and being all I can be.

(Also, when I say my work is "good," I don't mean to sound arrogant, I'm just trying to state what seems to be an objective truth about my work, though only because God has given the grace for the work to be good.)

But I know that my attitude needs work!

I would like to be able to say: "I can write, sew, paint, draw, cook, teach, sing, and play the piano, but I am NOT merely what I can do. Will you (insert community) accept me for who I am? Will you help me to offer myself to Christ?"

I guess I can't say that yet. I still need to let go of what I can do. I apologize for the soul-searching, but I suppose that I have, through much of my life, defined myself by what I can do (especially the things, like writing, that I can do well). That's why I'm a perfectionist--if the work has flaws, so, I fear, do I (and who doesn't? ). But I will have to let go of that fixation and that fear.

At any rate, the main thing for me to focus on right now is becoming healthy enough to actually contact any orders. I will indeed be making this the priority.

Thank you for the prayers! I'm praying for you all! Again, I apologize for being a

Edited to add: TheresaThoma--I love your analogy! That seems very true to me.

Edited March 8, 2012 by AuthorOfMyLife

[Luigi]

Keep in ming, too, that writing is a skill that will be valued in [i]any[/i] community. Benedictines, Cistercians, Trappistines, Carmelites, and all sorts of cloistered orders publish various kinds of writings. Many active communities do, too.

You might do some creative writing, but you'd also have the skills to proofread, edit, prepare manuscripts by other writers, and so forth. You might be the secretary for all the order's meetings & minutes. You might write the monthly/quarterly newsletter. You might be Sister Mary Blogger (see [url="http://www.monialesop.org"]www.monialesop.org[/url], for just one example).

If you can write, you can write anything anywhere.

[AuthorOfMyLife]

Thank you, Luigi. You are right! I will keep this in mind.