I Don't Know...

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1331590782' post='2399797']
As a wonderful Sister of Christian Charity once told me, if you didn't have emotional feelings towards anyone, you weren't normal and no religious order would accept you!
[/quote]

Okay, that is an avvesome nun!

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1331591342' post='2399808']
Okay, that is an avvesome nun!
[/quote]

She is that!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Alright everyone! I'm going to try to get to all of these!
[quote name='organwerke' timestamp='1331564790' post='2399569']
well, it is diifult to say...
I think it is normal at your age, but also, if these feelings last, maybe it is a sign that you need to have a person at your side.
I can only suggest: try not to indulge in these feelings: if they go, then it is nothing, if they last, then examine better yourself.
[/quote]
You know, these feelings come and go, but it is usually just for this one guy and it makes me really mad at myself because of my discernment and his, and it just beats me up a little bit.
[quote name='marigold' timestamp='1331565504' post='2399571']
It's just thoughts and hormones. I've been through the same thing, and I can vouch that others here have too. Don't try and force those feelings to disappear, but don't encourage them either. Get some space if you can. Can you go to a different Mass where you don't have to watch him serve?

Don't guilt trip yourself by wondering if you're pushing away a vocation, or being ungrateful for it or something.

EDIT: Though if he likes you too and you want to go out with him, then for the love of God don't do the whole 'we're just doing it to see if we're open to God's will although we both think we might have priestly/religious vocations too' thing. Be honest and put the nun thing on hold while you do.

Let us know how it goes
[/quote]
Actually we usually go to different Sunday Masses, but we often go to the same daily Masses and he always serves. AND, we aide in the First Communion prep class together, so it's kind of hard to get space...
We are a bit young to "go out", and actually we have talked about that before! We both agree 18 is the appropriate age for dating in most cases.
Your advice was most helpful!!! Thank you very much, Marigold!
[quote name='Gemma' timestamp='1331567874' post='2399592']
The greatest favor you can do for anyone is keep track of your female cycle. The "fertile" time is when marriage thoughts creep into the mind of the discerner. Make it a point to engage in greater prayer during that time. If you do indeed meet with an earthly spouse, having done this will be conducive to the practice of Natural Family Planning.

Blessings,
Gemma
[/quote]
This was incredibly interesting!! Thank you so much and I will most certainly do that! Although, I have not been on a normal cycle for 8 months, and I am actually managing some minor medical problems that cause this, but thank you very much!
[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1331569195' post='2399601']
It is most likely a mix of thoughts and hormones. I have the same feelings sometimes, and have felt so since (I hope this isn't TMI) hormones kicked in.

You aren't discouraging your vocation or his vocation. The thoughts are in your head and if you control them, then it is fine. Don't worry, most girls feel this and even guys feel it too.

About wanting to hold his hand... I don't get that feeling, for me it is if I see a cute guy... I'll blush. Therefore, if you really want to hold his hand and you're walking next to him..... shove your hands in your pockets or think of Jesus holding your hand. (The best part about the "Jesus holding your hand" is that He is!!!)


Hormones are kicking in whether 'ya like it or not and we have to cope with 'em. *sigh*


I don't know if you have any really close friends who are girls... but the amazing thing about them is that you can just sort of talk, you can have sleepovers and get together a bit more, they have good shoulders to cry on... I have turned to i<3fran and two of my cousins a lot. They are all so supportive! Maybe you could try and build an even better friendship with a girl... or with a cousin. Cousins are avvesome because they are family.
Also if any nuns are around your area... you could talk or work with them. I started volunteering at a nursing home run by the Little Sisters and after going for about a half year, I started volunteering on Tuesdays. Usually a lot of kids show up on Tuesdays but one of them I was alone. Sr. J. sent me up to work with Sr. Mary Grace on the second floor. At first we were dusting and storing in silence 'cause we are both shy but we started talking and BAM history was made! I got attached to her, and was working with/for her almost every week... she was transferred though. It is wonderful to have lots of friends who are girls, boys, and then a little Irish nun to tag along and help you through life!




Prayers for you and your friend! Love you Claire!
[/quote]
Thank you for the advice, compadre. You know, I have quite a few close girl friends, and he is probably my only guy friend, so I am blessed in that regard! I have been corresponding with many nuns lately, and it does make a difference! It gets me so excited!!
[quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1331569200' post='2399602']
Friendship and attraction are on a continuum; it's easy for one to meld into the other. It can happen to anybody at any time. It's not necessarily a 'sign' of a particular vocation, just a sign that you are a human being with human wants and fears and loves. This is especially true when you're in your early teens. For a lot of people, adolescence is a time when their friendships really deepen and they start to appreciate the possibilities of those friendships. It's natural.

I wouldn't make a big fuss over it and start to track your fertility and complicated things like that. Just entrust it to God very simply and be grateful for everything you experience. It's all part of growing up.
[/quote]
Thank you so much, beatitude!! I love all the advice you have given me! I am really trying to not worry about it, but it often makes me upset with myself, mainly because I don't want to bother him or mess up the great friendship we have.
[quote name='FutureSister2009' timestamp='1331573127' post='2399635']
The situation I am in is I have a painful crush on a guy that has a girlfriend right now. It really is painful. Crushes are the worst thing ever.
[/quote]
FS2009, you are deep in my prayers. I had a friend that had the same problem except her guy was a total jerk (in my opinion), I am praying for you, and yes, crushes are the worst thing ever.
[quote name='MonjaFutura' timestamp='1331587468' post='2399781']
I think that you could spend some time away from discerning both vocations. Don't think of religious life or marriage. That might be hard, but that's what I did and it was only after I did that that God revealed my vocation to me. I wouldn't reccommend dating him, considering both of you are considering vocations right now. Being friends is a good idea, because then you at least have your friendship. A lot of nuns had a relationship before entering an order, so it doesn't show that you don't have a vocation to religious life. It could actually help you see your true vocation.
[/quote]
I have decided not to date if I am sure of my vocation, of course, if I reach a point where I am completely unsure, I may do that, but I could never mislead someone and myself. It would be hard to drop discerning because I have recently reached a peak of my discernment to the religious life... I will very much consider this, though! Thanks!
[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1331590782' post='2399797']
As a wonderful Sister of Christian Charity once told me, if you didn't have emotional feelings towards anyone, you weren't normal and no religious order would accept you! It is so normal, and not at all something to be worried about if you feel attracted to someone as a friend or in other ways. What matters is how you address it.

Since you are very young, FCC, you have PLENTY of time to discover God's will. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to talk it over with sister or a spiritual director or a trusted priest. Many of them had relationships before (my priest friend had several serious girlfriends and I know many others have as well) and can talk from experience.

So don't worry too much about it. Ask God to help you do His will always, whatever that leads to, and nothing can go wrong!
[/quote]
Thank you so much, this post really reassured me. And yes, I have quite I long time to find exactly what God wants. I am so glad I am normal, lol. ;-)

[Lil'Monster]

Boys are cute.....Men are gorgeous



Sorry, I was just saying what was on my mind.....



You wouldn't be normal if you didn't think boys were cute

[Antigonos]

[quote name='Lil'Monster' timestamp='1331688490' post='2400375']
You wouldn't be normal if you didn't think boys were cute
[/quote]

And, IMO, normality is what it's all about. You are having thoughts and feelings which are entirely appropriate. Now, mind you, I don't think you should rush up to him, throw him to the ground and kiss him passionately, but you wouldn't do that even if you weren't thinking of eventually entering religious life, would you?

No need to apologize or feel uneasy about being a perfectly normal teenager. Enjoy your adolescent years [sensibly, of course].

[Strictlyinkblot]

As the others have said its part hormone. Also, there are times when you feel particularly close to your friends. When its a friend of the opposite sex it can get mixed up with hormones and dreams and stuff. I've made that mistake. Just be careful of your heart, I'd say that to you whether you were discerning religious life or not.

[Lil'Monster]

I totally feel called to just run up to a random guy and pressed my lips to his........until I find out that he is married.......HAHAHAH


Just kidding! I would NEVER do that!!!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

I don't know what to do... I saw him today, and we were talking about the religious life (like normal), and then he goes, "You know, there's one thing I am sad about you going into the cloister, that I'll be a Jesuit and I won't be able to talk to you..." and I told him he can write me and I can write him, but what he said really touched me. I hadn't seen him for a week or two, and I wanted to hug him, but I just can't. I really enjoy talking to him about the religious life and our discernment and the saints, but sometimes I just end up confused...

[Lil'Monster]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1332992475' post='2409926']
I don't know what to do... I saw him today, and we were talking about the religious life (like normal), and then he goes, "You know, there's one thing I am sad about you going into the cloister, that I'll be a Jesuit and I won't be able to talk to you..." and I told him he can write me and I can write him, but what he said really touched me. I hadn't seen him for a week or two, and I wanted to hug him, but I just can't. I really enjoy talking to him about the religious life and our discernment and the saints, but sometimes I just end up confused...
[/quote]

He'll be able to visit you! When I was at St Cecilia's I was talking to Sr Mary David and we discovered we had friends on common - a university friend of hers used to work with my mum - and she was telling me how him and his family have been to St Cecilia's to visit her.

But maybe you could do with some separation from him, just for now.

Edited March 29, 2012 by EmilyAnn

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333012948' post='2409975']
He'll be able to visit you! When I was at St Cecilia's I was talking to Sr Mary David and we discovered we had friends on common - a university friend of hers used to work with my mum - and she was telling me how him and his family have been to St Cecilia's to visit her.

But maybe you could do with some separation from him, just for now.
[/quote]
I guess he could come and visit me. We always joke about how he'll do my final vows.

I would, but it's not very possible for us to separate, and if we see each other all the time, I don't want to just ignore him...

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1332992475' post='2409926']
I don't know what to do... I saw him today, and we were talking about the religious life (like normal), and then he goes, "You know, there's one thing I am sad about you going into the cloister, that I'll be a Jesuit and I won't be able to talk to you..." and I told him he can write me and I can write him, but what he said really touched me. I hadn't seen him for a week or two, and I wanted to hug him, but I just can't. I really enjoy talking to him about the religious life and our discernment and the saints, but sometimes I just end up confused...
[/quote]



Why can't you hug him? Is it because you feel that desire will creep in?

I am a hugger. I hug my guy friends. Not like how I will hug my friends who are girls where you hug a bit tighter, or how I hug a Sister or cousin where you hug and press your cheek against the others. It is just a quick embrace that my guy friends get.

I don't see what is wrong with a quick little hug... I guess I'm insane.

[EmilyAnn]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1333065386' post='2410434']
I guess he could come and visit me. We always joke about how he'll do my final vows.

I would, but it's not very possible for us to separate, and if we see each other all the time, I don't want to just ignore him...
[/quote]

Side note, but we're getting a new bishop soon. St. Cecilia's is in the same diocese so I always think if I ever meet the new bishop I'm going to be like "Hi, I'm Emily, you'll be doing my solemn vows in a few years."

Of course don't ignore him! But maybe you need to say to him that you shouldn't talk too much for a while. Like say hi and how are you and stuff but just don't spend time together where you can avoid it. For both your sake's, I think you owe it to each other.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='EmilyAnn' timestamp='1333121052' post='2410658']
Side note, but we're getting a new bishop soon. St. Cecilia's is in the same diocese so I always think if I ever meet the new bishop I'm going to be like "Hi, I'm Emily, you'll be doing my solemn vows in a few years."

Of course don't ignore him! But maybe you need to say to him that you shouldn't talk too much for a while. Like say hi and how are you and stuff but just don't spend time together where you can avoid it. For both your sake's, I think you owe it to each other.
[/quote]
That's so funny!

What I meant by not possible is he and I are aides for one of the CCD classes at our parish and we see each other all the time... I do think we owe it to each other, you are right. But what is difficult is that I don't always feel these feelings, sometimes it's just like another friend, but sometimes it isn't...
[quote name='i<3LSOP' timestamp='1333120343' post='2410652']
Why can't you hug him? Is it because you feel that desire will creep in?

I am a hugger. I hug my guy friends. Not like how I will hug my friends who are girls where you hug a bit tighter, or how I hug a Sister or cousin where you hug and press your cheek against the others. It is just a quick embrace that my guy friends get.

I don't see what is wrong with a quick little hug... I guess I'm insane.
[/quote]
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I am worried that it will endanger my discernment and his if we start doing this. Priests have hugged me before, which I don't mind, and I am a hugger too, but I just don't want to initiate anything that could lead to unnecessary stuff.

I really appreciate the advice, you guys.

Edited March 30, 2012 by FutureCarmeliteClaire

[filius_angelorum]

Hmm. I am going to reply to this even though I am of the male gender.

Don't let your mind play tricks on you. Just because you feel attracted to him does not mean that he thinks of you as a potential date. Remember that humans have instincts too, and one of the most powerful gets triggered when you see a member of the opposite gender displaying excellent mommy/daddy characteristics. Trust me, keeping my eyes on the prize becomes horribly difficult when I see a woman who is working with children, for example, or wearing an apron (sorry girls). It works the same when you see a young man passionate about his faith. Just don't mistake instincts for divine inspiration. Instinct can cause you to sin, God will not.

My advice? Keep doing everything you are doing now. Think about this every time you consider dating this boy. If you were to date, one-third of the time you would be exuberantly happy to have found such a great guy, and he would be happy too. The other two-thirds you and he would be beating yourselves up over whether or not you had "betrayed" your vocation, and both of you would be suitably miserable. Trust me, I made a poor girl miserable recently because I dated her and put aside my possible vocation. Too much guilt for a real relationship.

Edited March 31, 2012 by filius_angelorum