I Don't Know...

[Carmelshrimp]

Actually I think I disagree with just about everybody here. Your feelings are normal and healthy for a young woman, regardless of whether or not she is discerning a religious vocation. They're not something for you or your friend to worry about, they merely show that God is calling two healthy young people to explore their vocations - whether to religious life or to some other ministry. You can't make a proper and informed choice if you perform the mental equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and whistling every time an attractive young man crosses your path. If God is calling you to Carmel your decision has to be to give up one god for another, but the choice has to be informed. Both you and your friend are very young and your devotion to God in ones so young is lovely to see, but God wants us to give ourselves freely and generously, sure in the knowledge that what we give up is worth the loss because we're offered something so much more. Don't be scared of your feelings for your friend. Look at them honestly, be grateful for the chance of having somebody your own age to share with ( a rare gift for young discerners) and then ask if this would make you as happy as religious life. Whatever your answer to that question, you can only give God what is truly yours to give - and that means being aware of the full nature of your gift before you offer it. Be gentle with yourself and with your friend. Hormones are part of your self-giving too!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='filius_angelorum' timestamp='1333201113' post='2411110']
Hmm. I am going to reply to this even though I am of the male gender.

Don't let your mind play tricks on you. Just because you feel attracted to him does not mean that he thinks of you as a potential date. Remember that humans have instincts too, and one of the most powerful gets triggered when you see a member of the opposite gender displaying excellent mommy/daddy characteristics. Trust me, keeping my eyes on the prize becomes horribly difficult when I see a woman who is working with children, for example, or wearing an apron (sorry girls). It works the same when you see a young man passionate about his faith. Just don't mistake instincts for divine inspiration. Instinct can cause you to sin, God will not.

My advice? Keep doing everything you are doing now. Think about this every time you consider dating this boy. If you were to date, one-third of the time you would be exuberantly happy to have found such a great guy, and he would be happy too. The other two-thirds you and he would be beating yourselves up over whether or not you had "betrayed" your vocation, and both of you would be suitably miserable. Trust me, I made a poor girl miserable recently because I dated her and put aside my possible vocation. Too much guilt for a real relationship.
[/quote]
This was some of the best advice I have gotten. At this point, I am too young to date and we both feel that we are, but this was amazing. Thank you so much.
[quote name='Carmelshrimp' timestamp='1333213086' post='2411179']
Actually I think I disagree with just about everybody here. Your feelings are normal and healthy for a young woman, regardless of whether or not she is discerning a religious vocation. They're not something for you or your friend to worry about, they merely show that God is calling two healthy young people to explore their vocations - whether to religious life or to some other ministry. You can't make a proper and informed choice if you perform the mental equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and whistling every time an attractive young man crosses your path. If God is calling you to Carmel your decision has to be to give up one god for another, but the choice has to be informed. Both you and your friend are very young and your devotion to God in ones so young is lovely to see, but God wants us to give ourselves freely and generously, sure in the knowledge that what we give up is worth the loss because we're offered something so much more. Don't be scared of your feelings for your friend. Look at them honestly, be grateful for the chance of having somebody your own age to share with ( a rare gift for young discerners) and then ask if this would make you as happy as religious life. Whatever your answer to that question, you can only give God what is truly yours to give - and that means being aware of the full nature of your gift before you offer it. Be gentle with yourself and with your friend. Hormones are part of your self-giving too!
[/quote]
That helps a lot, thanks. I am really trying. It's just really hard because sometimes I don't feel these feelings at all, but sometimes I do and it just over comes me and stresses me out.

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='FutureCarmeliteClaire' timestamp='1333137989' post='2410766']
I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I am worried that it will endanger my discernment and his if we start doing this. Priests have hugged me before, which I don't mind, and I am a hugger too, but I just don't want to initiate anything that could lead to unnecessary stuff.

I really appreciate the advice, you guys.
[/quote]

Okay, understood.

[i<3LSOP]

[quote name='Carmelshrimp' timestamp='1333213086' post='2411179']
Actually I think I disagree with just about everybody here. Your feelings are normal and healthy for a young woman, regardless of whether or not she is discerning a religious vocation. They're not something for you or your friend to worry about, they merely show that God is calling two healthy young people to explore their vocations - whether to religious life or to some other ministry. You can't make a proper and informed choice if you perform the mental equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and whistling every time an attractive young man crosses your path. If God is calling you to Carmel your decision has to be to give up one god for another, but the choice has to be informed. Both you and your friend are very young and your devotion to God in ones so young is lovely to see, but God wants us to give ourselves freely and generously, sure in the knowledge that what we give up is worth the loss because we're offered something so much more. Don't be scared of your feelings for your friend. Look at them honestly, be grateful for the chance of having somebody your own age to share with ( a rare gift for young discerners) and then ask if this would make you as happy as religious life. Whatever your answer to that question, you can only give God what is truly yours to give - and that means being aware of the full nature of your gift before you offer it. Be gentle with yourself and with your friend. Hormones are part of your self-giving too!
[/quote]
Please come on Phatmass more often! You're great!

I agree with all of this, I just didn't know how to say it.

[Carmelshrimp]

Aw shucks - I like you too