I Need Advice - Desperately!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Pray for a friend, God will give you one. Trust me. Please. God has spoiled me when I asked for something, probably more than is good for me.

[Indwelling Trinity]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1332117946' post='2403464']
I'm not saying all of them and I'm not being uncharitable. Trust me, I have stories. If I wanted to be uncharitable I could be. I do have friends from the high school, but I met them because our parents are friends, and I've known them all my life. However, they are in college right now. And we never really got to see each other when they were here, as they live in the country. How am I supposed to socialize with the kids at the high school, anyway? It's not like I can just go up to the school and start talking to people. As I said, I have no clue how to make friends. Usually, it just happens. But I won't be in a position to let things "just happen" until my Seminary days, so I don't know what to do.

Just so everyone's clear, I hate typing this as I sound like a complete idiot, but I don't have much choice on the matter.
[/quote]

FP...you don't sound like an idiot to me.... I understand what you are saying.

Maybe we all need to give less advice and more acceptance. None of us here can fix things, but we can be your friends. I cannot be your peer, but i do offer you whatever friendship I can. I know on line friendships are somewhat limited and words on screens can only go so far. However it is better than nothing.

I do think though you really have to have some good heart to heart talks with your parents., because it sounds like you just need a good peer group and some normal healthy interactions. Is there someone, a priest or a family friend, perhaps a counselor who can help you and your parents in working things out?

I think Marigold in her last post was right on target.

Hang in there my friend.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Indwelling Trinity

[Pax_et bonum]

Maybe this can cheer you up a bit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9jBx1u8-aQ

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1332126074' post='2403632']
FP...you don't sound like an idiot to me.... I understand what you are saying.

Maybe we all need to give less advice and more acceptance. None of us here can fix things, but we can be your friends. I cannot be your peer, but i do offer you whatever friendship I can. I know on line friendships are somewhat limited and words on screens can only go so far. However it is better than nothing.

I do think though you really have to have some good heart to heart talks with your parents., because it sounds like you just need a good peer group and some normal healthy interactions. Is there someone, a priest or a family friend, perhaps a counselor who can help you and your parents in working things out?

I think Marigold in her last post was right on target.

Hang in there my friend.
[/quote]

Thanks. I just feel pathetic saying that I don't have regular contact with friends.

You know, I think you may have something there. Perhaps, when I get into debates here, I take things so harshly because I'm looking for the friends my age that I don't have, and instead I'm getting constant debate and am being constantly corrected? Don't get me wrong, everybody needs to be corrected in order to become a better person. But perhaps the reason I feel like a victim is for this very reason?

I'm very close to my parents, actually. They are both great parents, and I spend a lot of time with them - willingly. When my parents have their anniversaries, they take us with them to dinner. Unlike usual parents, they want to spend time with us on those occasions, instead of wanting to be rid of us. So I don't think it's a problem with them. I simply need to socialize more. I'm thinking of joining the Youth Counsel of my Diocese. However, I still do want to become great friends with a Priest. Priests can be very wise and very insightful. Perhaps a Priest can help me to become a better person? After all, this is a part of being a friend: helping each other better himself. What friend doesn't say something when you do something wrong? At least if I'm good friends with a Priest and he points out a sin I just committed I can say "Would you mind if I confess that to you?"

[InPersonaChriste]

Pray

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1332119703' post='2403504']
Are there any other homeschoolers in the area? Or could you join band or choir or a sport or something through the school to get to know people?
[/quote]

Unfortunately, no. There is a group of home schoolers that meet thirty miles away, but they're Protestant, and when they do their schooling and such and speak of Religion, it's not exactly pro-Catholic. They wanted us to do papers on Religion, but we couldn't mention the Saints or anything. A Catholic paper that's not allowed to mention the holy people that give the Catholic Church a good name? I suppose I should mention the scandals instead?

[SaintOlaf]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1332130219' post='2403706']


Unfortunately, no. There is a group of home schoolers that meet thirty miles away, but they're Protestant, and when they do their schooling and such and speak of Religion, it's not exactly pro-Catholic. They wanted us to do papers on Religion, but we couldn't mention the Saints or anything. A Catholic paper that's not allowed to mention the holy people that give the Catholic Church a good name? I suppose I should mention the scandals instead?
[/quote]

Maybe an opportunity for evangelisation? I grew up Baptist (and homeschooled) so I know what youre saying to be truthful, at least from my own experience. Is there a way for you to socialize with them without taking part in the religion aspects? My homeschool group had a biweekly bowling party, all were welcome, afterwards we had popcorn and card games at a nearby home. I know that several of the families that came to the bowling events were a) Cathoilic and b) didnt come to the rest of the meetings BECAUSE of their religious differences.

Maybe instead of asking your parents to relent in terms of a spiritual director, ask them to give you opportunity to meet some friends. If no events exist, try organizing something! It would certainly be a good excersize in responsiblity!

[vee]

you should marry a Whattaburger

[vee]

[img]http://www.dineoutcheap.com/editor_assets/image/whataburger.jpg[/img]

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1332130219' post='2403706']


Unfortunately, no. There is a group of home schoolers that meet thirty miles away....
[/quote]

May I offer some ideas, as someone who was homeschooled for ten years? I found friends by:
1) homeschool group. We and others would drive up to and even over an hour to participate in their functions. It was a very active group, and Catholic. But there were non-Catholics in it, since the focus of our activities was clean recreation, and the finer points of doctrine were avoidable.
2) parish. Now, my parish's community life smelled of elderberries until about a year ago. But I pestered the priest to begin a youth group, etc. and began an apologetics group long before our new pastor was there to catch on.
3) 4-H
4) Driver's Ed/ACT. Kids like to talk when they are nervous, and tests make them nervous. Talk back.
5) Sports at the local high school. Check your state laws. In many states, they cannot legally prevent you from playing just because you are homeschooled. Sign up for the HSLDA newsletter, write them, and get the facts on homeschool-high school relations in your state. You might be surprised.
6) dual enrollment courses at the local college
7) community service. If all else fails, volunteer where the juvenile vehicle miscreants are sent to work off their tickets. Who knows who you'll be able to convert?
8) youth retreats
9) karate/ice skating/photography/painting/piano/guitar/oboe lessons.
10) learn to use a video camera and basic directing skills, then hand out flyers at the local school/homeschool group for casting try-outs.
11) if you know an instrument, start a band. Advertise to attract other musicians.
12) the local library or bookstore. Find a nerd, and ask them what their favorite book is. I cannot tell you how many people I have met this way.
13) the coffee shop. Scope out someone interesting, and ask them about their backpack/book/favorite coffee/shoes/hair/whatever you notice about them. Probably easier if you're a girl talking to a girl, but worth a try.
14) get a job.

But especially check out number five. You think you can't just walk into the local high school...but you probably can.

Hope this might help some. Homeschoolers generally have just as many friends as the next guy...they just have to work harder to find them.

[Indwelling Trinity]

[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1332132013' post='2403737']
[img]http://www.dineoutcheap.com/editor_assets/image/whataburger.jpg[/img]
[/quote]


Pfffft!... a glorified Big Mac!

[Archaeology cat]

If the homeschool group has activities, I think that would be good. Where I am now there's a large Catholic homeschool community, but the home ed group in Liverpool was secular. It was fairly evenly divided between Christian, Muslim, and Pagan (think we were he only Catholics). We met up fortnightly, and it was really nice. Yes, I like knowing Catholic homeschoolers now, but it wasn't bad before.

Growing up, I often enrolled in summer enrichment classes. I'm from KY, and the town wasn't huge (I lived outside the town, so it was a 20-30 minute drive to get to he classes). One year I took a Japanese class, and ended up meeting my best friend there. A summer course is also how I got into archaeology. So you might check those out come summer.

Prayers for you, FP.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

4H is an amesome group to get involved in, and I'm guessing you live in a rural area.
The Youth Council sounds like a great idea; that's also a great way to meet religious. If it's at the Diocese, there are definitely going to be priests there!

Prayers for you. You'll meet people your own age, I'm sure. Just be open.

[Lisa]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1332188911' post='2404093']
4H is an amesome group to get involved in, and I'm guessing you live in a rural area.
The Youth Council sounds like a great idea; that's also a great way to meet religious. If it's at the Diocese, there are definitely going to be priests there!

Prayers for you. You'll meet people your own age, I'm sure. Just be open.
[/quote]

Piggybacking off of this, in most of the midwest, the groups meet in your township, so the meetings shouldn't be that far away.

[Indwelling Trinity]

Hi FP!

I just wanted to say it is wonderful having you stop by chat! You Are really a great and wonderful guy. I see a lot of promise for your future. I do hope you will continue to stop by, and even more so. I pray things are easing up a little bit for you.

Thanks for you courage and friendship as well as you funny and sometimes warped sense oh humor. It tickles me! ....

[vee]

[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1332136051' post='2403776']
Pfffft!... a glorified Big Mac!
[/quote]

[Divine Mercy 9999]

[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1332136051' post='2403776']
Pfffft!... a glorified Big Mac!
[/quote]
[quote name='vee8' timestamp='1332542414' post='2406620']

[/quote]


I'd really like a Culver's burger instead of either of those other ones.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1332532298' post='2406456']
Hi FP!

I just wanted to say it is wonderful having you stop by chat! You Are really a great and wonderful guy. I see a lot of promise for your future. I do hope you will continue to stop by, and even more so. I pray things are easing up a little bit for you.

Thanks for you courage and friendship as well as you funny and sometimes warped sense oh humor. It tickles me! ....
[/quote]

Thank you very much. Warped sense of humor, eh? I'm not sure where you get that idea from. It's not like I make jokes about very serious things or anything like death... *Lies through teeth*

You know, I actually do have a good joke my friend Father Pascal told me. He said a few years ago people were dying after using a toothpaste brand, and he said "I suppose you could say they had a brush with death."

[Lil'Monster]

Did someone mentioned 4-H???


Yep 4-H is avvesome.....I was in 4-H for 12 years and loved every minute of it!!





Besides you can get special treats if you are in 4-H.......at least I did!!

[Indwelling Trinity]

Laughing..... Limon you sound like a rice christian! Volunteer for the cookies at the end! Razzzberry!