Advice Or Prayers, I Guess.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1347409503' post='2481501']
Will she talk to you at ALL? I mean, if you approached her and asked if you had offended her in some way would she respond or is she completely ignoring you, and pretending you don't exist at all?

And if you need a break from it, seriously, give my parents a call. They would be more than willing to let you spend the night again or something. (Although, now that I say that, I think this weekend, they might have guys from the NET team staying there one night, so you couldn't that night... LOL)
[/quote]

Not really. I tried speaking with her yesterday, as in starting a conversation, and she was really short with me (maximum 3-word answers, probably). She never says hi to me, but will say hi to everyone else. We have a class together, and she doesn't even acknowledge that (except for the times when she needed to borrow my textbook - then she actually talked to me). So I don't know what would happen if I approached her.
I do wonder sometimes if I did offend her somehow, but I've spent such little time around her that it's hard to pinpoint a time when I could have said or done something. Perhaps she just doesn't consider me worth her time.

Thank you so much for that, I really appreciate it I'm holding out to see if they can get a roommate change organised, but if things get too difficult I'll give them a ring.

[Spem in alium]

Wonderful, amazing pham!

There's been a development in my situation. Yesterday my RD contacted me asking if I'd been sent the details of two roommate matches they'd found. I said no, I hadn't...and she replied saying that she thinks there would be a good match between me and a studious, quiet, neat Maths major. I'm hoping to meet her sometime this week/next week.

In regards to my suitemates, things are pretty much the same. Most of the time they go about their own things without me - they're still a very definite group, and I'm on the edge. I am getting involved in more things now, which is really helping me combat my homesickness and the pain this was causing me. Nights are still difficult when I'm alone or trying to sleep and they're being loud. The girl who's been cold towards me actually spoke to me today...but only to ask me about the homework for class.

I finally told my parents about what's been happening (they knew that I was having trouble, but weren't aware of the specifics). That helped a lot. Most of the time, I just try to show people that I'm having a good time. I don't want them to know I'm upset or having trouble, so I've told very few of my friends and family members about the problems I'm having. Sometimes it's difficult to act like everything's okay when it's not, but I prefer not to cause them any worry.

Please continue to pray for a positive outcome. My physical & emotional wellbeing is fluctuating, but I'm finally hanging on.

[AnneLine]

Good for you, Spem. You are an amesome human being.

[i]and don't be startled if the Philter turns the 'w' in amesome upside down... it gets cranky that way... [/i]

You are handling this VERY well, and I hope you get a wonderful new roommate!

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1347767632' post='2482910']
Good for you, Spem. You are an amesome human being.

[i]and don't be startled if the Philter turns the 'w' in amesome upside down... it gets cranky that way... [/i]

You are handling this VERY well, and I hope you get a wonderful new roommate!
[/quote]

Aww...thank you so much You are all amesome (and I don't mind the fiddler at all!). I really appreciate all the help everyone's given me. It really means a lot, especially as I'm away from home. I don't know how well I could handle it without you all.

Yesterday, things happened and I really made up my mind to try my hardest to find a new place. I don't mind being around people who are different to me, but not in this kind of way, and not when I'm trying to sleep, study or talk to my family or friends on Skype.

[AnneLine]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1347800500' post='2482977']
Aww...thank you so much You are all amesome (and I don't mind the fiddler at all!). I really appreciate all the help everyone's given me. It really means a lot, especially as I'm away from home. I don't know how well I could handle it without you all.

Yesterday, things happened and I really made up my mind to try my hardest to find a new place. I don't mind being around people who are different to me, but not in this kind of way, and not when I'm trying to sleep, study or talk to my family or friends on Skype.
[/quote]

You haven't tried to murder her in her sleep, or delete an important paper off her computer. You are handling it well. I'm struggling for charity........ toward her.... and you are living with her. And praying for her. You are handling it VERY well.....

[cmotherofpirl]

[url="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vpu0dOmY1qfd0k0o1_1280.jpg"]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vpu0dOmY1qfd0k0o1_1280.jpg[/url]

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1347813369' post='2483007']
You haven't tried to murder her in her sleep, or delete an important paper off her computer. You are handling it well. I'm struggling for charity........ toward her.... and you are living with her. And praying for her. You are handling it VERY well.....
[/quote]

Thank you, your words are such an encouragement I see the importance in praying for them, so I try and do it. Today's First Reading from Isaiah really resonated with me. I know that Jesus is helping me and guiding me, and with him nothing will be too difficult. But a lot of the time, it's hard to remember to pray. Sometimes I forget that Jesus is always with me.

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1347813503' post='2483008']
[url="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vpu0dOmY1qfd0k0o1_1280.jpg"]http://27.media.tumb...d0k0o1_1280.jpg[/url]
[/quote]

Haha, I've seen that image before. I personally don't agree with or need all of them, but they're interesting. The ones that are really affecting me here are #1 and #6...and perhaps #12 too.

Perhaps there should also be one saying "Don't push them to meet (or be around) lots of people at once". Or in loud or crowded areas. That's something I struggle with a lot, and particularly with my suitemates bringing people here regularly.

[AnneLine]

You know.... maybe you are in that room (hopefully not much longer!) to pray for them. To love them. To give them a different experience from what they have had in the past. I often think about how tough it must have been for Jesus to put up with his roommates sometimes... I bet those Apostles were pretty tough to share space with..... Just a thought.....

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Groo the Wanderer' timestamp='1347013726' post='2479762']
set her bed on fire and toss all her stuff out the window
[/quote]

Groo you got it wrong. It should have read:

"set her bed on fire and toss all her stuff on it"

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='AnneLine' timestamp='1347905487' post='2483359']
You know.... maybe you are in that room (hopefully not much longer!) to pray for them. To love them. To give them a different experience from what they have had in the past. I often think about how tough it must have been for Jesus to put up with his roommates sometimes... I bet those Apostles were pretty tough to share space with..... Just a thought.....
[/quote]

I think I am meant to pray for them, so I do when I can. That's a great example

[quote name='cmariadiaz' timestamp='1347910115' post='2483369']
Groo you got it wrong. It should have read:

"set her bed on fire and toss all her stuff on it"
[/quote]

Sneaky...

[Spem in alium]

Some great news! (this should really be one of those random update/musing threads, haha!)

Not so much related to the living problem...I now have an "International Friend"! Someone from Minnesota who will connect with me for things like coffee, shopping, dinner, cooking, family events, etc. I applied ages ago and never heard back about it, but now I finally have one. I'm hoping this will be another way for me to get out more and enjoy my time here.

I also joined a group called "Companions on a Journey". In groups of about five, we meet once a month to discuss spirituality and vocation. Through this group I met the VP of the Catholic group on campus...so now I have the deets about Adoration, Mass and Rosary times that I was so desperately seeking!

Things with living have not improved very much, but they are improving a little. I'm trying to interact more with the girls, but I've found that people here don't stop to have conversations much. Back home, if you say hi to someone, you'd most likely stay talking to them for 5-10minutes or so. Here it's just the "hi and walk". It took me a bit to get used to, but I'm finally learning just to leave it at hello with most people. So far, my roommate is continuing to be the most friendly and genuine person in my suite. Last night I was waiting to talk to a friend on Skype, and she said "If you're bored you're welcome to come and watch TV with us". The other girls have never (and probably would never) ask me that. If I do get moved, it really will be a shame to leave her.

[Spem in alium]

Guys! So thrilled. I emailed a potential roommate (the quiet Maths major) last week to organise a meet-up. Anyway...on Wednesday I am meeting with her! I'm trying to keep realistic because there is a chance it may not work out, but she sounds really lovely

[Nihil Obstat]

My experiences with math majors have been universally positive.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1347918651' post='2483431']
My experiences with math majors have been universally positive.
[/quote]

I have only ever met one Maths major, and he was a fairly nice person as far as I could tell. This girl seems lovely I am an English major, so we might be a fun combination!

Edited September 17, 2012 by Spem in alium

[AnneLine]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' timestamp='1347813503' post='2483008']
[url="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vpu0dOmY1qfd0k0o1_1280.jpg"]http://27.media.tumb...d0k0o1_1280.jpg[/url]
[/quote]

C-Mom... I LOVE LOVE LOVE your link. I will steal it and credit you.... and ask those who get it to say a prayer for you... so I guess we aren't REALLY stealing your link....

Spem, this sounds wonderful... and math & english majors should be able to help each other AND figure out just about anything together....

[Nihil Obstat]

My experiences with English majors have been about 50-50.


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[img]http://lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/HowToKillAnIntrovert-78697.jpg[/img]
[/spoiler]

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1347919544' post='2483442']
My experiences with English majors have been about 50-50.


[spoiler]
[img]http://lolsnaps.com/upload_pic/HowToKillAnIntrovert-78697.jpg[/img]
[/spoiler]
[/quote]

[b]My[/b] experiences with English majors have been about 50-50. Some of them can be a bit iffy.

I really shouldn't laugh at your mean and evil picture...but I actually almost fell on the floor.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='Spem in alium' timestamp='1347919783' post='2483444']
[b]My[/b] experiences with English majors have been about 50-50. Some of them can be a bit iffy.

I really shouldn't laugh at your mean and evil picture...but I actually almost fell on the floor.
[/quote]

Well my best friend started off as an English major, and then switched to history. I guess I will not hold it against you.

I am relatively introverted, when it comes to interacting with people I do not know, and I found that picture to be rather true. If there was a stranger in my kitchen, there is a high probability that I would not eat until he left.

[Spem in alium]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' timestamp='1347920017' post='2483449']
Well my best friend started off as an English major, and then switched to history. I guess I will not hold it against you.

I am relatively introverted, when it comes to interacting with people I do not know, and I found that picture to be rather true. If there was a stranger in my kitchen, there is a high probability that I would not eat until he left.
[/quote]

I appreciate that I like History very much too, it's one of my minors.

Haha, I'm probably the same as to the stranger (though thankfully, no one has ever tested that on me). And crossing a crowded room or asking for help in crowded places...they're horrors that override any sense for self-preservation.

[Spem in alium]

Hello, dear pham!

I just met with the potential new roommate. She seems lovely, we got on well...BUT...

...there is an issue I'm concerned about. I tend to go to bed and wake up abnormally early (particularly when I've got 5:30AM starts) while she goes to bed around midnight and wakes up later. She also likes to watch TV late, have people stay the night sometimes and have her boyfriend over. Because it's just a single room, I think there could be an issue with those things. I don't want to have to impose on her schedule, and I know that with my body clock being what it is, I will impose on her. Plus I'll be leaving my RAs and RD because this girl lives in another building, and I really like them. Probably very small matters, but important to me all the same. I don't want to cause anyone any extra trouble or hassle.

Things with the suite haven't changed much, but my emotional & spiritual wellbeing has. I think as I settle in, I'm less bothered by what's going on and seem just to take it as a part of the experience. I was accepted for a volunteering program this week, which means that every second Saturday I'll be off campus for much of the day. And now that I've found the Catholic group here, I hope to try and get involved with them as much as possible. At this point, I feel less pressured to move than I was before, and it doesn't seem as though it's a particularly constructive solution anymore. I have grown comfortable sticking to myself, and I'm trying to find new ways to be an introvert in an extroverted environment (it's tough, but I'm managing!)

I've just contacted my RD and asked if it would be possible for me to just see how things go. I've probably confused her significantly now (because last she heard, I really wanted to move). What I was neglecting to realise is that God is always here strengthening me. No matter what happens, He will see me through and help me face any challenges I need to face. I don't know why I didn't see that earlier.

If you have an opinion, please voice it. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but I always like to hear what other people think.

Wishing you all many, many blessings.

Edited September 19, 2012 by Spem in alium