Winchester Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Everyone can shut the Hell up; Hasan won this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Here's my advice: Hide in a closet....and the situation will magically resolve itself. Is that the advice you want? You can keep the status quo and the following two likely scenarios happen: [b]A.[/b] He meets another girl, introduces her to you, leaving you crashing and burning. [b]B.[/b] He moves on with life leaving you dying in a world of unstable emotions. [b]Conclusion:[/b] You spend the rest of your life asking yourself "what would have happened if I had said something...." Can you live with this result? or... You can bet the current relationship for a higher payoff with the following likely results. [b]1.[/b] He rejects you. Painful result. But this begins the road to healing....so in that respect, this scenario loses in the short term but wins in the long term. [b]2.[/b] He doesn't reject you. Touchdown St. Louis! All systems go. [b]3.[/b] Social Suicide (this may apply to both scenarios 1 and 2. This assumes that you can always keep all relationships in harmony. This is false. Life happens. People come and go. You can't freeze life....and if you could.....the life would be a false one. Throw a social grenade before someone else does. At least this way, you get to cause chaos. Roll the beaver dam dice. It's the quickest way to healing for whatever happens. [b]The chances for success if you stay quiet are next to zero.[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 Prayer isn't everthing when you are "discerning" something. The word discernment is thrown around so willy nilly. God gave us an intellect, He gave us reason, and He gave us the cardinal virtues. Use those. Prudence, fortitude, temperance, and justice. Is constantly thinking about this guy prudent or temperant? Is not bringing it up to him prudent? Are you practicing fortitude in your patience and ability to set aside what you know to be irrational emotions? Stop praying about a particular guy and start praying for the grace to better use and grow in the cardinal virtues. God never sent a butterfly and told me to marry my wife. I prayed and [b]had peace [/b]about the [u]decision that I made[/u], and decided that it was a [u]prudent decision [/u]to move our relationship beyond courtship and into a lifelong commitment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 [quote name='Basilisa Marie' timestamp='1350436121' post='2494127'] You're confusing what you want with what you think God wants. Your desires are clouding your ability to see what God wants. You're also idolizing this guy. Not a good way to start any relationship. Come on, dear, what did you expect? You need to stop obsessing over him. Honestly, even if you WERE going to start a relationship with him, you need to become more comfortable with yourself, around him, and STOP putting him on the "perfect holiness" pedestal, otherwise it'd end in disaster. So in order to stop obsessing over him, I'd recommend telling him how you feel. Either he won't reciprocate your feelings and you can get a start on getting over the crush, or he'll reciprocate your feelings and you can get starting on really getting to know each other as real people. Either result would be good for you. [/quote] sorry but I'm not idolizing him... this whole thing has brought me deeper in my prayer life. You don't know the whole story since you are sitting at your computer at home (or where ever)... I don't do anything like this without praying about it A LOT! So, I will have to disagree with you here. I'm gonna tell him... I just need to get up the courage... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 FYI my questions were honest rhetorical questions for you to think about. There wasn't some sort of passive-aggressive hint at anything . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 [quote name='Slappo' timestamp='1350516114' post='2494234'] Prayer isn't everthing when you are "discerning" something. The word discernment is thrown around so willy nilly. God gave us an intellect, He gave us reason, and He gave us the cardinal virtues. Use those. Prudence, fortitude, temperance, and justice. Is constantly thinking about this guy prudent or temperant? Is not bringing it up to him prudent? Are you practicing fortitude in your patience and ability to set aside what you know to be irrational emotions? Stop praying about a particular guy and start praying for the grace to better use and grow in the cardinal virtues. God never sent a butterfly and told me to marry my wife. I prayed and [b]had peace [/b]about the [u]decision that I made[/u], and decided that it was a [u]prudent decision [/u]to move our relationship beyond courtship and into a lifelong commitment. [/quote] This is where I would leave a prop... ...IF I HAD ANY! [img]http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6060/6351501945_8c3a2fcb5b.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 [quote name='MIkolbe' timestamp='1350438100' post='2494141'] I say you never ever ask him... That way, you'll never know... And you can always wonder what could have been. Communicating feelings is so hard, anyways.... [/quote] where arethe props? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 would I come off as unstable if I told him I prayed 2 rosaries a day for him for the past month? or do you think that he would find this to be sweet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 [quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1350518085' post='2494244'] would I come off as unstable if I told him I prayed 2 rosaries a day for him for the past month? or do you think that he would find this to be sweet? [/quote] In most contexts that would come off as sounding kind of clingy and/or desperate. Unless [i]perhaps[/i] you already had a primarily spiritual, very close relationship. And even then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Annie, I do not think there is any advice that people can give you. You have started multiple threads about this guy, and each time you've been given similar advice, only to go and open another thread. It's as if you're hoping that one day everyone will give you the answers you want. This is obsessive. Certain things that you write about this guy, especially your question about the rosaries, suggests that you don't really know him at all. How would we know whether he finds the idea of being prayed for in that way sweet or creepy? We've never met him. If you knew him well, you'd be able to answer the question. But you don't know. And this is what people mean when they say you seem to be idolising this guy: you are building up a fantasy of marriage around him without actually knowing him at all. This to me looks like a teenage crush. They often involve obsession. They're often painful. I had a bad one myself, only in my case the guy was actually a close friend and we hung out together a lot. And I practically drove my poor friends crazy by wanting to analyse his every word and move with them to try and work out if maybe he liked me too. I spent hours thinking about it. My friends told me that I would eventually get over it, and I felt really hurt. They just didn't understand - this wasn't any old crush, this was real love, I was sure! Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell him how I felt. He didn't reciprocate. It hit me like a ton of bricks at the time. I felt embarrassed and foolish, but I picked myself up and moved on and my friends were right. I got over it. Today he and I are still good friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 hmmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) Double post. Edited October 18, 2012 by beatitude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 Okay whatever, this thread is not helping. I got the picture... I honestly just wanted to know what y'all thought. But instead a lot of you are making observation about me. You don't know me so how can you be so sure you're right? Not mad, just at the end of my rope... I talk to my brother and he says I should do all this stuff that makes no sense. I just thought I could get real answers from people who have experience at this sorta thing. It's just annoying how y'all are treating me... Thanks for trying to help though... I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 [quote name='beatitude' timestamp='1350519227' post='2494248'] [size=5][b]Annie, I do not think there is any advice that people can give you. You have started multiple threads about this guy, and each time you've been given similar advice, only to go and open another thread. It's as if you're hoping that one day everyone will give you the answers you want.[/b][/size] This is obsessive. Certain things that you write about this guy, especially your question about the rosaries, suggests that you don't really know him at all. How would we know whether he finds the idea of being prayed for in that way sweet or creepy? We've never met him. If you knew him well, you'd be able to answer the question. But you don't know. And this is what people mean when they say you seem to be idolising this guy: you are building up a fantasy of marriage around him without actually knowing him at all. This to me looks like a teenage crush. They often involve obsession. They're often painful. I had a bad one myself, only in my case the guy was actually a close friend and we hung out together a lot. And I practically drove my poor friends crazy by wanting to analyse his every word and move with them to try and work out if maybe he liked me too. I spent hours thinking about it. My friends told me that I would eventually get over it, and I felt really hurt. They just didn't understand - this wasn't any old crush, this was real love, I was sure! Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell him how I felt. He didn't reciprocate. It hit me like a ton of bricks at the time. I felt embarrassed and foolish, but I picked myself up and moved on and my friends were right. I got over it. Today he and I are still good friends. [/quote] i flopping love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Annie12' timestamp='1350519620' post='2494251'] You don't know me so how can you be so sure you're right? [/quote] Every one of us has been where you are. And it smells of elderberries, really badly. But there are right ways and wrong ways to deal with it. There is always the remotest chance that you are in fact the most mature, insightful young person in modern history, and that in fact none of us understand your feelings, but frankly I think it is safer to assume that you are going through the same issues we have all faced in the past. Do not worry; it does get easier. Edited October 18, 2012 by Nihil Obstat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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