Discernment Times

[father's heart]

So, I had this idea that anyone who is discerning can post about their greatest struggles, joys, thoughts, ect...just talk about what makes you want to discern at this point of your life and what it's like for you. I'm curious, and sometimes, I feel a bit crazy since I know very few fellow discerners

[Joan Marie Wandel]

I will post later about to head into work

[Julie de Sales]

Hey! First of all, thank you for this thread, I really needed to talk about it at this point. Now I am discerning religious life because I think God is asking me to give myself totally to him, but sometimes I’m just so confused...I struggle with GREAT difficulties in my spiritual life and this makes me wonder if entering a monastery wouldn’t make things worse. I have (a sort of) spiritual director, but we met just once and I have the feeling that no one could help me at this point. However, I try to continue my journey and I got to the conclusion that maybe I’m made for the Carmel or another congregation that I am considering. Even if contemplative life is very appealing, I also have (and had my entire life) the desire to help the poor and the sick ones. I don’t know how am I supposed to interpret this, because in general I don’t consider myself suitable for an apostolate, but rather for the contemplative life which charms me. Except a revelation, I will not make any decision sooner than 2 years, because I want to graduate from university. In the meantime, I pass from one vocation to another, from thinking ,,I’m supposed to be a nun” to ,,This will never happened” or ,,I should get married and have a children”. From ,,How great is the Carmel” to ,,Shouldn’t I dedicate myself to those who suffer in the world?”. It’s difficult to persevere in such conditions, but I think God wants me to abandon myself to his will and this is the only thing that consoles me, that finally what he wants will become reality.

[Gemma]

Hey! First of all, thank you for this thread, I really needed to talk about it at this point. Now I am discerning religious life because I think God is asking me to give myself totally to him, but sometimes I’m just so confused...I struggle with GREAT difficulties in my spiritual life and this makes me wonder if entering a monastery wouldn’t make things worse. I have (a sort of) spiritual director, but we met just once and I have the feeling that no one could help me at this point. However, I try to continue my journey and I got to the conclusion that maybe I’m made for the Carmel or another congregation that I am considering. Even if contemplative life is very appealing, I also have (and had my entire life) the desire to help the poor and the sick ones. I don’t know how am I supposed to interpret this, because in general I don’t consider myself suitable for an apostolate, but rather for the contemplative life which charms me. Except a revelation, I will not make any decision sooner than 2 years, because I want to graduate from university. In the meantime, I pass from one vocation to another, from thinking ,,I’m supposed to be a nun” to ,,This will never happened” or ,,I should get married and have a children”. From ,,How great is the Carmel” to ,,Shouldn’t I dedicate myself to those who suffer in the world?”. It’s difficult to persevere in such conditions, but I think God wants me to abandon myself to his will and this is the only thing that consoles me, that finally what he wants will become reality.

Pin down a spirituality first. Read the major rules and see which one you're drawn to.

Spiritual direction can be very hands-off like the Dominicans do--read up on the classics and check in with a priest if there's a problem. Or it can be viewed through a Jesuit lens, which is more hands-on.

Contemplatives can take care of the sick. They're known as the hospitaller orders. There are some monasteries with care homes attached as their remunerative work. The Augustinian Canonesses of the Mercy of Jesus are located in the UK, but their website could give you a glimpse of what they're talking about. Here is the UK site: http://cloisters.tripod.com/vocations_uk/ They're on the contemplative-active page.

I think you're located in Croatia? Does your diocesan website have a listing of religious communities located there? Always look locally first.

HTH

Blessings,
Gemma

[ToJesusMyHeart]

What Gemma said. The first order of discernment is finding out which spirituality the Lord has endowed you with. 

 

Always remember: Jesus is the essence, and being is much more important than doing.

 

BE His beloved at all times. Whatever you end up DOING should flow from your being His daughter. 

[Joan Marie Wandel]

For me right now I'm struggling with if God is calling me to be a Sister and if I'm discerning with the community

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Everything. :heart:

[Joan Marie Wandel]

Everything?

[Freedom]

I'm scared with a lot of the what ifs.

[Joan Marie Wandel]

what do you mean what if's

[Tally Marx]

The hardest part about my discernment is the not knowing.  I began my discernment asking God what He wanted of me.  Instead of joyfully accepting His silence as an entreaty from Him to wait, I often find myself (unconsciously) interpreting it as if He doesn't want me, because He doesn't seem to want anything of me.  I know that this is downright wrong on numerous levels, and proves that I have a bunch of issues (with pride and selfishness, especially!) but I find myself feeling that way despite the reasonings of my head. 

 

What leads me to discern?  I have always been drawn to the religious life, ever since I was about six.  I like the idea of community, the vows, poverty, and dedicating my life entirely to Christ.  I'm especially drawn to being a "support for priests".  I love the joy and peace and simple love of the Sisters whom I know, and I want that.  I want to know Jesus the way they do.

[Freedom]

what do you mean what if's

 

What if I'm not good or smart enough.  What if religious communities don't get enough donations or have enough benefactors, especially in times like these.  I know some communities don't rely completely on donations and they work such as making cheese, altar breads, vestments for priests, gift shops and holding retreats... etc.  What if it's not enough to support their community?  I know God always provides but it's just so scary and I have more fears on top of all that.  I do know without a doubt that He's calling me and what a gift it is!

[Julie de Sales]

Pin down a spirituality first. Read the major rules and see which one you're drawn to.

Spiritual direction can be very hands-off like the Dominicans do--read up on the classics and check in with a priest if there's a problem. Or it can be viewed through a Jesuit lens, which is more hands-on.

Contemplatives can take care of the sick. They're known as the hospitaller orders. There are some monasteries with care homes attached as their remunerative work. The Augustinian Canonesses of the Mercy of Jesus are located in the UK, but their website could give you a glimpse of what they're talking about. Here is the UK site: http://cloisters.tripod.com/vocations_uk/ They're on the contemplative-active page.

I think you're located in Croatia? Does your diocesan website have a listing of religious communities located there? Always look locally first.

HTH

Blessings,
Gemma

 

Thanks for your advice! I'm not from Croatia, but from Romania. My diocesan website has a list of religious communities, I know some of them but I haven't yet experienced their life. I think in the future I will contact one of these and see if the contemplative-active life would suit me.

[i<3franciscans]

Discernment is a struggle, but the struggle has made me stronger. Discernment has been full of uncertainty but the uncertainty has helped me to trust in Jesus completely. Discernment has taught me to love unconditionally no matter what vocation I am called to. And though discernment, I have learned that God wants us to be happy and wherever He calls me is where I will be happiest.

 

I have truly loved discerning and even though it is not always easy. It has been totally worth it! I wouldn't trade these past few years for anything. :)

[Catholicterp7]

I am discerning because I have fallen head over heels in love with Christ in a very romantic way. I desire so much to give everything to Him as His spouse and to support the men who are Christ in the world. 

In the past three years my greatest struggles have been impatience and impulsiveness. In the past three years I have spoken to five communities about entering/asked for application papers. I even got to the point of doing my live in with one of them. In September I was finally able to give up my plans and take a more relaxed, hands off, God is in control view of my discernment. I started this year thinking that I would simply visit communities this year and take it slowly but then in September I found the Children of Mary. I am so drawn to this community. Their charism is "to help people understand that Jesus loves them and remains with them in the Holy Eucharist, and that He thirsts for them to love Him in the Most Blessed Sacrament so He can pour out His love and peace into their hearts." They also take a fourth vow to pray for priests. :love: 
My struggle now is not giving in to despair and doubt. I've found myself wondering if I'm ever going to find the right community and if I'm ever actually going to be living the life that I've been day dreaming about for eight and a half years. It's really hard now because I just graduated from college and really believe that now is the time to start really actively discerning but I don't have any money to do so. I can not find a job right now and it's really frustrating for me. I'm also struggling with feeling like I'm not doing anything with my life. I know God is doing something with my life but it's so hard for me to see exactly what that is. 

I am learning trust and patience a lot this year.  

JMJ+ :heart: