Anastasia13 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 There was a huge taboo against sexual promiscuity/divorce/anything related to female pleasure back in the day. Would you rather that unmarried people hide their sex lives in their respective closets? What's more healthy, a trusting relationship between two consenting adults who have both admitted to having sex with over 20+ people or one in which both parties have sexed 3 or less people but feel like they'll be judged/unloved if they admit this to their significant other? We were made to eat and "have sex with" everything. It's human nature. Also, your other post about pedophiles seemed to indicate that non-virgins don't live up to your gold standard of marriage. Pedophiles will have problems around kids. Your post suggests that non-virgins will have similar problems with their marriage. This is simply not true. Oh come on man! If someone actually has acted on having sexual urges toward an adult member of (usually) the opposite sex, you know they could have similar urges again, and even risk acting on it! We cannot have married people tempted to have and enjoy sex.
Anastasia13 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 With sex offenders, there are also cases of 15 year olds who had sex vs. a 19 year old and a 17 year old (19 year old committed statutory rape because the 19 year old is over 18 and the 17 year old is not). Such a person I would trust more around my kids than someone who enjoyed fondling a 2 year old.
Era Might Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) Norseman, This topic is obviously your crusade in life, but I don't know what you hope to accomplish. You see yourself as a remnant, the last of a dying breed. The church does not require anyone to be a virgin to marry. So your standard is just your personal preference, nothing more. Nobody is required by the church to follow your course of action, and never have been, so there is no reason to "convert" anyone to your position. Generally, the test of something is whether other people like it. Christianity started with a few disciples, and eventually it grew. Why? Because people said, "Hey, I like this stuff about peace, joy, charity, faith, sacrifice, brotherhood." In other words, they found the message attractive, and they joined it. Obviously, women have not found you attractive, and so you remain single. That's none of my business, and I don't care about your personal life. Simply pointing out that if you are going to hang on to your standard, as is your right, then accept that you are one in a billion, and either accept that fact and suffer it patiently, or change your standard. If women like what you're selling, then you will find a wife. It's nobody's fault if women don't like what you're selling. Maybe you have to die alone, in witness to your standard. Maybe then women will get the point. More likely they'll move on to another guy who they do find attractive. There is really nothing to debate here. Nobody says you can't have your standard. But keep it to yourself, and to the women you approach to try and convince of your standard. Obviously, it's not advice you want, you're convinced of your standard. There are groups that believe like you do. They too believe they are a remnant in their particular beliefs like the Amish, or the Mormons, What do they do? They find other like-minded people and live together. You haven't been able to find another like-minded person...that's a signal that women don't share your remnant views. They are under no obligation (in the church) to change their standard, and you are under no obligation to change yours. Again, there's nothing to debate. Either accept that you are going to find very few people who find your standard attractive, or change it. I say all of this as honest advice, because you come across as frustrated, and that's generally not an attractive quality. Sometimes, when you are massively alone in your views, it's a cue that the problem is with you, not with everyone else. That's especially true in dating. Edited July 20, 2013 by Era Might
CatherineM Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 As to the original topic, as someone who was a virgin, someone who thinks this way about women who have been abused or assaulted, wouldn't have been good enough for me.
arfink Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 After reading 7 pages of this croutons, this is all I have to add:
Anastasia13 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 The OP has some good reasons to want to marry a virgin, but love is also a risk, virgin or not. Marriage will take work, whether we like it or not. It's good to want something that won't be harder than it has to be, but I think a lot of people here would agree that character and who someone is today counts more than who they were 10 years ago. Find your compatibility with who someone is today, the attitude and pattern of who they live their life. That will show you who they are more than a mistake they maybe made once in high school or college. If you worry about whether or not people have truly repented, take time to get to know them, but that is wise in almost any relationship, especially if one or both had a rocky past somewhere. You will find the kind of person that you are looking for wherever strong Catholics might be found, church, young adult groups, Catholic clubs at school, online, etc. Remember the character and purity in a woman's life protects her virginity, but it is also more important than the hymen between her legs because character makes a relationship work more than hymen. Commitment, compatibility, love, knowing and being there for each other, these things make a relationship special besides just being the first, and that is why being the last is even more important than being the first. Of course if any of you married people want to correct that paragraph, please do.
Norseman82 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) Norseman, This topic is obviously your crusade in life, but I don't know what you hope to accomplish. What I'm trying to accomplish here is for people to get off Polskieserce's case. He's got valid points, and maybe he could find someone compatible if people would stop attacking him and instead start supporting him. You see yourself as a remnant, the last of a dying breed. The church does not require anyone to be a virgin to marry. So your standard is just your personal preference, nothing more. Nobody is required by the church to follow your course of action, and never have been, so there is no reason to "convert" anyone to your position. And neither is anyone required to follow the other course of action (a virgin has to marry a non-virgin). But whenever a virgin states that he/she does not want to marry a non-virgin, he/she gets jumped all over. Edited July 20, 2013 by Norseman82
Era Might Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 What I'm trying to accomplish here is for people to get off Polskieserce's case. He's got valid points, and maybe he could find someone compatible if people would stop attacking him and instead start supporting him. And neither is anyone required to follow the other course of action (a virgin has to marry a non-virgin). We all agree that nobody has any right to tell you who to marry. It's just personal preference (emphasis on the "personal" part...it's nobody else's business what you do in your personal life, especially on a public phorum). What "support" do you want for Polskieserce? This is not a dating service. Since nobody has to agree with him, and nobody here shares his standard, then he's come to the wrong place for "support." Since you and Polskieserce share the same standard, why not communicate privately and support each other? I don't understand what kind of "support" you expect to get from people who do not share your views, and are under no obligation to. The only thing that will come of this conversation is multiple pages of back and forth arguing over nothing.
Anastasia13 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Since you and Polskieserce share the same standard, why not communicate privately and support each other? I don't understand what kind of "support" you expect to get from people who do not share your views, and are under no obligation to. The only thing that will come of this conversation is multiple pages of back and forth arguing over nothing. What? You disagree! Keep it to yourself. We don't allow diverse opinions to be discussed here.
Norseman82 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) Since nobody has to agree with him, and nobody here shares his standard, then he's come to the wrong place for "support." If that's truly the case, then that shows how far most Catholics have sunk in today's world. Edited July 20, 2013 by Norseman82
Norseman82 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) Sometimes, when you are massively alone in your views, it's a cue that the problem is with you, not with everyone else. That's especially true in dating. At one time in the 300s, the vast majority of the Christian Church (I've heard figures as high as to 98%) subscribed to the Arian heresy. The vast majority can be wrong. Edited July 20, 2013 by Norseman82
Era Might Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) If that's truly the case, then that shows how far most Catholics have sunk in today's world. "Hi pretty lady, are you a Catholic who has sunk so far as to believe I would marry you if you're not a virgin, or are you the other kind of Catholic? If you're the other kind, let's go on a date." That's essentially what you're proposing. You believe you're the last vestige of Catholic morality. Nothing anyone says is going to change your conviction that you are God's gift to virgin women (literally), and non-virgins are just Santa's Helpers leftover gifts. Anyway, argue away. If you want SUPPORT, feel free to PM me. I don't share your worldview, but if it's someone to vent on you're looking for, I'm here. If it's an argument to win, post to your heart's content. But I don't see anything here to argue about, except your personal life, which is none of my business. So I have nothing more to say. Edited July 20, 2013 by Era Might
Winchester Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Blessed are the pure of heart, as long as they're uncompromising jackasses about it.
Vincent Vega Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Obviously, women have not found you attractive, and so you remain single.
arfink Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 In response to OP: Sad to say, I don't think you will find the single lady you are looking for here. Most have already said no in this thread and others similar to it. (yes, we have this conversation at least twice a year around here) The rest want to be nuns. ;)
Norseman82 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 "Hi pretty lady, are you a Catholic who has sunk so far as to believe I would marry you if you're not a virgin, or are you the other kind of Catholic? If you're the other kind, let's go on a date." That's essentially what you're proposing. You believe you're the last vestige of Catholic morality. Nothing anyone says is going to change your conviction that you are God's gift to virgin women (literally), and non-virgins are just Santa's Helpers leftover gifts. Anyway, argue away. If you want SUPPORT, feel free to PM me. I don't share your worldview, but if it's someone to vent on you're looking for, I'm here. If it's an argument to win, post to your heart's content. But I don't see anything here to argue about, except your personal life, which is none of my business. So I have nothing more to say. So now you don't feel I should keep it to myself? You sure changed your tune, lucky for you. You're the one bringing my personal life up here on this thread; my purpose was to get people off Polskieserce's case and instead realize that they are the ones in error. But hey, if you're still mad about losing the Cup.......
Norseman82 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (yes, we have this conversation at least twice a year around here) "You need one every 5 or 10 years. Clears out the bad blood". (For those that know teh movie reference) The rest want to be nuns. ;) Well, Polskieserce, this may be another place to look - stand in front of a convent and wait for someone who is "discerning out". (The last lady I dated broke up with me to go into a religious community).
Winchester Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (The last lady I dated broke up with me to go into a religious community). Must have been one Hell of a bad date.
Sister Marie Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Well, Polskieserce, this may be another place to look - stand in front of a convent and wait for someone who is "discerning out". (The last lady I dated broke up with me to go into a religious community). Virginity is not required to enter religious life.
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