AuthorOfMyLife Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I am something of a lurker, so I do not know what unpleasantness is being referred to (although I believe it is surely justified in being called "unpleasant," whatever it is). Personally, I only joined Phatmass FOR "Vocation Station," and I do not post often, so I would be sorry to have post counts be what allows or denies someone access to Vocation Station. I would second ABrideOfChrist's suggestion that anyone in danger of being banned is warned first. One of my siblings had to go through a lot of frustration and stress because he was suddenly banned from a website, without being given a chance to defend himself and without a way to contact those who banned him in order to figure out what he had done to make them ban him. I felt so bad for him in that situation, and I would hate something similar to happen to anyone here. That said, thank you for your moderation of this forum! I have found it to be a joyful place in the past, filled with people striving to be holy and to help others to be holy. I am guilty of being a lurker, but I am really grateful for you all!
Laurie Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 (edited) I sent a private message, but I'll pipe in here, too. I'm all for rules and clarification. One of the problems here is that it can get to be like a clique. If people are long time online friends, that's great! But those online friendships shouldn't dictate what threads are "acceptable" and what threads are not "acceptable." I've noticed quite a number of times that a group of friends will descend upon a thread/person they don't like and pretty much harass the thread. There should be some guidelines against that. There should be space for a variety of discussions. There should be room for all of us. Above all, I think the intention of the person who started a thread should be respected. If it's a fun thread, let it be fun. If it's academic, let it be academic. If it's to offer warm, uplifting advice, let it be that. I think it should be made clear that descending upon someone else's thread because you don't like the topic/the person is bad manners and not okay. A certain level of maturity should be expected: if a topic isn't your cup of tea, refrain from posting there. Edited August 21, 2013 by Laurie
Laurie Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 And, yup, I just gave myself props. ;) Didn't realize I could do that before.
PhuturePriest Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I sent a private message, but I'll pipe in here, too. I'm all for rules and clarification. One of the problem here is that it can get to be like a clique. If people are long time online friends, that's great! But those online friendships shouldn't dictate what threads are "acceptable" and what threads are not "acceptable." I've noticed quite a number of times that a group of friends will descend upon a thread/person they don't like and pretty much harass the thread. There should be some protection against that. There should be space for a variety of discussions. There should be room for all of us. Above all, I think the intention of the person who started a thread should be respected. If it's a fun thread, let it be fun. If it's academic, let it be academic. If it's to offer warm, uplifting advice, let it be that. I think it should be made clear that descending upon someone else's thread because you don't like the topic/the person is bad manners and not okay. A certain level of maturity should be expected: if a topic isn't your cup of tea, refrain from posting there. I agree with you. But as for the cliques, speaking from feeling the disappointment and sadness at not being in the overall Phatmass "clique" for a while and then finally being accepted into it, I can tell you that everyone here is well-meaning and nobody means to exclude anyone. Cliques happen naturally and sometimes it can be a little foreboding if you are coming on here and you say something pretty much no one agrees with and they all descend upon you (I speak from experience). Sometimes we in the clique can get out of hand, and sometimes (Especially in my case) the newcomer can get out of hand. I haven't experienced what is and isn't a proper thread, so I can't speak for much there. I'm more in the Open Mic/Lame Board clique than the Vocation Station one. However, that doesn't sound very good for anyone and I agree this should be stopped, especially if it leads to harassing someone.
Anselm Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I must agree with several threads above, particularly Christine Therese; I joined Phatmass particularly for this chat-room and I think to limit its membership to those who have posted a number of articles elsewhere in Phatmass would be counter-active. Essentially, why should one have a certain presence before one is allowed to discuss vocation here? If that was the case then I would never have joined, though I have been discerning a vocation for five years and am joining a community next year. If it is true that there are cliques (which I haven't noticed) then have a quiet word - don't restrict access.
PhuturePriest Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I must agree with several threads above, particularly Christine Therese; I joined Phatmass particularly for this chat-room and I think to limit its membership to those who have posted a number of articles elsewhere in Phatmass would be counter-active. Essentially, why should one have a certain presence before one is allowed to discuss vocation here? If that was the case then I would never have joined, though I have been discerning a vocation for five years and am joining a community next year. If it is true that there are cliques (which I haven't noticed) then have a quiet word - don't restrict access. But this isn't about cliques. This is about people getting out of hand and turning Vocation Station into the Octagon -- something far from the original intention of Vocation Station.
Spem in alium Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 As far as post counts, I know I only joined because I wanted to post on VS. I branched out to other parts of the phorum later. I must agree with several threads above, particularly Christine Therese; I joined Phatmass particularly for this chat-room and I think to limit its membership to those who have posted a number of articles elsewhere in Phatmass would be counter-active. Ditto. Joined mainly for VS and ended up sticking around and posting in other places. While I think that VS can be somewhat of an unpleasant place at times and that some people (particularly trolls) should be restricted or warned, it would be a shame to restrict based on post count. It definitely meant a lot to me to be able to post here and get support straight off.
PhuturePriest Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 What's the octagon? The Octagon is an American kickboxing sport, where two fighters get in an octagon-shaped arena and beat each other senseless.
Anselm Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 The Octagon is an American kickboxing sport, where two fighters get in an octagon-shaped arena and beat each other senseless. In that case I can't think how VS has ever been like that.
ChristinaTherese Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 The Octagon is an American kickboxing sport, where two fighters get in an octagon-shaped arena and beat each other senseless. Okay.... Maybe it's the fact that I'm a woman, but I can't see why anyone would want to do that. :crazy: In that case I can't think how VS has ever been like that. Well... there's been a bit of a mess lately, I think. I've been offline for the last week or so, but I did start looking at one thread and think it was turning into a bit of a flame war. I'm pretty sure the same thing has been happening in other threads, hence dUSt wanting to do some cleanup around here. (One thread seems to have been resurrected only for the sake of a personal attack that has since been edited out by a mod, leaving absolutely no content behind.)
Anselm Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Disagreements will always happen, even when discussing subjects such as this. If problems are a recent phenomenon then isn't a cull of members and/or a tightening of membership criteria something of a knee-jerk reaction?
brandelynmarie Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Not necessarily...charity & humility is needed when dialoging. There are certain patterns popping up in threads where this is not happening recently...
PhuturePriest Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Disagreements will always happen, even when discussing subjects such as this. If problems are a recent phenomenon then isn't a cull of members and/or a tightening of membership criteria something of a knee-jerk reaction? This isn't new, it's been going on for far too long.
Anselm Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Surely deleting members isn't an example of charity and humility?
PhuturePriest Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Okay.... Maybe it's the fact that I'm a woman, but I can't see why anyone would want to do that. :crazy: Well... there's been a bit of a mess lately, I think. I've been offline for the last week or so, but I did start looking at one thread and think it was turning into a bit of a flame war. I'm pretty sure the same thing has been happening in other threads, hence dUSt wanting to do some cleanup around here. (One thread seems to have been resurrected only for the sake of a personal attack that has since been edited out by a mod, leaving absolutely no content behind.) I'm a black belt and have been doing martial arts since I was four. We get pretty physical and inflicting pain to toughen each other up isn't a weird concept to us, but we never get carried away with it. I don't see why you would want to beat someone up and get beaten up yourself. Fights are fun, but those aren't fights, those are bloodbaths. And yeah, it's been going on for quite a while now. It's been pretty messy, and there have been arguments ranging quite a wide variety of things, including things that have nothing to do with discernment and Vocation Station.
PhuturePriest Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Surely deleting members isn't an example of charity and humility? No one said anything about deleting members. Dust simply said he would bar people from getting into Vocation Station because they are turning it into the Debate Table, when we already have one of those. This is about discernment, not debating. Debate about communities in the Debate Table. However, it can be an example of charity and humility if we did delete members. If someone is harassing someone else and is being incredibly rude to everyone, it is not charitable to leave that lunatic running around harassing people. It is charitable to delete that member and stop him from harassing the community.
Nunsense Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Surely deleting members isn't an example of charity and humility? Anselm, dUSt isn't talking about deleting members. He is talking about restricting access to VS for those who can't discuss topics in a way that shows respect and courtesy for others, especially those who might have a differing opinion. If a person can't discuss things without becoming hot under the collar, then it is probably better if they spend more time in the rest of phatmass - Debate Table, Open Mic, Lame Board, etc. and leave VS - at least for awhile. VS is a special place and it's important that the atmosphere reflect this. It would be uncomfortable to walk into a monastery or church and be faced with people screaming abuse at each other - simply because one expects something different in that environment. Here, we hope to be a loving and supportive environment for those discerning religious life or the priesthood. But instead, VS has become a place of contention that has made some people so uncomfortable that they have stopped coming to VS. If you have other suggestions to help the situation, I am sure dUSt would be happy to hear them - send him a PM.
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