4LoveofJMJ Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Well, it turns out that I won't be going on the retreat after all. The sister who told me that it wouldn't be a problem was misinformed. There is not enough room apparently. Also apparently, I need to have some sort of vocational relationship with the vocation director and talk to her multiple times before the retreat. I did not know that. Her being out of town certainly put a stumbling block on it. If I knew that going on the retreat would require my contact with her on the phone a ways in advance, then I would have called her sooner. I didn't even know I could go on the retreat until 2 weeks ago! Please say a prayer for me to accept that this is God's will! I am really disappointed and confused right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
das8949 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 So Sorry to hear this. Have you considered appealing the decision. You could possibly write a letter to her and include these posts you have written about your vocation and attending the retreat. Also there may be last minute cancellations and you could infoorm her that you have attended one other discernment retreat. If you have the Sisters name who informed you that you could attend, cc her on any correspondence. She could possibly intercede on your behalf. Just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Paul Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 oh i am sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaatee Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Don't take it personally.. This institute has a very well-developed vocational outreach system, probably with a number of rules. Start from the beginning. Establish a 'relationship' with the vocation director, apparently consisting of a number of phone calls, and then gradually introduce the topic of a retreat. Or perhaps the director will suggest a retreat, even better. I suspect that there a lot of young women interested in the retreats, so some rules had to be created. ...when one becomes interested in the religious life, one wants to become a nun immediately! The restraint of this urge is one of the first mandatory steps a would-be aspirant has to take early on. Many more steps will follow before her dream is realized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Well, it turns out that I won't be going on the retreat after all. The sister who told me that it wouldn't be a problem was misinformed. There is not enough room apparently. Also apparently, I need to have some sort of vocational relationship with the vocation director and talk to her multiple times before the retreat. I did not know that. Her being out of town certainly put a stumbling block on it. If I knew that going on the retreat would require my contact with her on the phone a ways in advance, then I would have called her sooner. I didn't even know I could go on the retreat until 2 weeks ago! Please say a prayer for me to accept that this is God's will! I am really disappointed and confused right now. Actually I'm not surprised. That's why I asked if you had attended the Jesu Caritas retreat before- it's very, very unusual to go on a vocations retreat with the ND without attending at least one. If you're serious about this order or just want some more experience with religious orders, just go on the Jesu Caritas retreat in October (I'll be there). You can have a face to face meeting with the vocation director and ask her about attending a vocation retreat. If you do that most likely you'll be accepted for the vocation retreat in January. I'm so sorry for the disappointment and that you will have to wait until October. If it helps, I'll explain why they do that from my own experience- it's not personal at all. The Nashville Dominicans are fielding a TON of inquires (their Jesu Caritas retreats have over 80 girls with more in the waiting list)! A great majority of them are interested in discerning religious life and, to be honest, if they were allowed, many of the girls would submit an application on the spot. That's not really healthy discernment, and it can be hard to tell just from that one encounter if they are actually mature and ready for religious life. So Nashville has a more structured process- they open their Jesu Caritas retreats to anyone, and as many as they can. That's so you can just encounter the order, no pressure. Before taking any steps with you they'll talk to you and have a face to face meeting at the Jesu, to see where you are and help figure out where God is really pushing you. If that goes well, they'll invite you to a serious, more focused, longer retreat that really gets to the heart of discernment with their order. On those retreats, because they want to be able to focus specially on each person, they are limited to no more than 20 people. It fills up extremely quickly. They are literally dealing with about 100 girls who want to go on those retreats, combined, each year. This way they have a very through and healthy discernment process. Really they just want you to be able to maturely discern with them, and waiting is part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HopefulHeart Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Well, it turns out that I won't be going on the retreat after all. The sister who told me that it wouldn't be a problem was misinformed. There is not enough room apparently. Also apparently, I need to have some sort of vocational relationship with the vocation director and talk to her multiple times before the retreat. I did not know that. Her being out of town certainly put a stumbling block on it. If I knew that going on the retreat would require my contact with her on the phone a ways in advance, then I would have called her sooner. I didn't even know I could go on the retreat until 2 weeks ago! Please say a prayer for me to accept that this is God's will! I am really disappointed and confused right now. I'm really sorry to hear that. I also was able to attend the vocation retreat only after a phone conversation with the VD. I encourage you to get in touch with the VD and consider attending one of the future retreats. Don't be discouraged! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 Don't take it personally.. This institute has a very well-developed vocational outreach system, probably with a number of rules. Start from the beginning. Establish a 'relationship' with the vocation director, apparently consisting of a number of phone calls, and then gradually introduce the topic of a retreat. Or perhaps the director will suggest a retreat, even better. I suspect that there a lot of young women interested in the retreats, so some rules had to be created. ...when one becomes interested in the religious life, one wants to become a nun immediately! The restraint of this urge is one of the first mandatory steps a would-be aspirant has to take early on. Many more steps will follow before her dream is realized. Actually I'm not surprised. That's why I asked if you had attended the Jesu Caritas retreat before- it's very, very unusual to go on a vocations retreat with the ND without attending at least one. If you're serious about this order or just want some more experience with religious orders, just go on the Jesu Caritas retreat in October (I'll be there). You can have a face to face meeting with the vocation director and ask her about attending a vocation retreat. If you do that most likely you'll be accepted for the vocation retreat in January. I'm so sorry for the disappointment and that you will have to wait until October. If it helps, I'll explain why they do that from my own experience- it's not personal at all. The Nashville Dominicans are fielding a TON of inquires (their Jesu Caritas retreats have over 80 girls with more in the waiting list)! A great majority of them are interested in discerning religious life and, to be honest, if they were allowed, many of the girls would submit an application on the spot. That's not really healthy discernment, and it can be hard to tell just from that one encounter if they are actually mature and ready for religious life. So Nashville has a more structured process- they open their Jesu Caritas retreats to anyone, and as many as they can. That's so you can just encounter the order, no pressure. Before taking any steps with you they'll talk to you and have a face to face meeting at the Jesu, to see where you are and help figure out where God is really pushing you. If that goes well, they'll invite you to a serious, more focused, longer retreat that really gets to the heart of discernment with their order. On those retreats, because they want to be able to focus specially on each person, they are limited to no more than 20 people. It fills up extremely quickly. They are literally dealing with about 100 girls who want to go on those retreats, combined, each year. This way they have a very through and healthy discernment process. Really they just want you to be able to maturely discern with them, and waiting is part of it. Thanks for the advice guys! I definitely was disappointed and couldn't figure out why I was not allowed to go on the retreat but now I understand. It would probably be for the better though. I just hope I can make it to the retreat in October. I'm planning on working while going to school next semester so hopefully I will be able to squeeze it in. It's on the weekend of my fall break so who knows! I'm really sorry to hear that. I also was able to attend the vocation retreat only after a phone conversation with the VD. I encourage you to get in touch with the VD and consider attending one of the future retreats. Don't be discouraged! Even though I won't be able to go to the discernment retreat, I'm still planning on calling Sr. Peter Marie when she comes back. It would be nice to talk to anyone who can help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Paul Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I talked to a superior and she wanted me to visit the 2nd time I ever called!!! So do not Give up hope here. God Bless You! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 I talked to a superior and she wanted me to visit the 2nd time I ever called!!! So do not Give up hope here. God Bless You! Even though I'm not going on the retreat, Sr. John Thomas said that maybe I could come for prayer and a tour of the Motherhouse. Better than nothing! Fingers crossed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted May 5, 2015 Author Share Posted May 5, 2015 @veritasluxmea do you know when the October Jesu Caritas is? The website only has the March date. I was going by the 2014 date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veritasluxmea Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I don't know the exact date for the one in October, but I know they always plan it sometime around fall break so college students can attend. I think it's the same date every year? Ask when you speak with Sister Peter Marie I'll be praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 As frustrating as it can be waiting and following the guidelines can show the community that you are mature and able to handle obedience. I'm not sure where you are located but if there is a mission near you sometimes they will hold local discernment days. I know in Denver they often have "pizza and prayer" nights for young women discerning religious life. When you talk with the Vocation Director also ask if she has any books that she would recommend to read. I've found that to be helpful to progress in my discernment between visits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 As frustrating as it can be waiting and following the guidelines can show the community that you are mature and able to handle obedience. I'm not sure where you are located but if there is a mission near you sometimes they will hold local discernment days. I know in Denver they often have "pizza and prayer" nights for young women discerning religious life. When you talk with the Vocation Director also ask if she has any books that she would recommend to read. I've found that to be helpful to progress in my discernment between visits. I'm in Missouri but I don't know if they have any missions around here. Maybe in St. Louis? There are a number of orders there so it could be possible. Gosh if there was ever a place to do a nun-run in a day, it would be there. Maybe I could find someone who I can do it with. No one I know is discerning unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loveletslive Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) hi 4LoveofJMJ! there is a mission in the St. Louis area - http://www.stjoecot.org/school. When you talk to SPM you could ask how to get in contact with the STL mission and visit in the fall (they're probably leaving as soon as school is over to go on summer assignments).also - the October Jesu is always the first weekend in October. Edited May 6, 2015 by loveletslive added Jesu dates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 hi 4LoveofJMJ! there is a mission in the St. Louis area - http://www.stjoecot.org/school. When you talk to SPM you could ask how to get in contact with the STL mission and visit in the fall (they're probably leaving as soon as school is over to go on summer assignments).also - the October Jesu is always the first weekend in October. Just a heads up - I had to remove the full stop at the end of that link in order to get it to work. It's going to work out fine, 4LoveofJMJ, just you wait and see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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