Why Veramaria Needs To Move To The Midwest

[Colleen]

*Disclaimer*
This is just in Jest. But it's been in the works for so long, I'm posting it. It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's not meant to offend. Also, feel free to add to it.


A List
~Of Reasons Why Vera Maria Needs to Move to the Midwest

1. There are no alligators in the Midwest.
2. It snows here. Almost year-round!
3. No oceans. Just lakes, lakes, lakes, and one big, muddy, ol' river.
4. We have the BEST sports teams. While there are some in the division that are . . . shall we say, lacking, the Packers make up for it.
5. The Midwest saved the Union in the Civil War.
6. Wisconsin gave the nation the hamburger and the ice cream sundae. That by itself is a perfect reason to move here.
7. And Milwaukee gave the nation good beer.
8. And St. Louis did, too.
9. Chicago gave the nation its meat.
10. And Iowa gave us John Wayne!!
11. You'll meet several people who have hit deer more than once.
12. You will be able to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
13. You can use a down comforter in the summer.
14. You will be able to observe people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
15. Driving is easier in the Midwest than in Florida, because in the winter the potholes are filled with snow.
16. You'll be able to experience all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction, and deer hunting season.
17. You'll see whole families wearing green and gold or blue and orange or purple and gold to church on Sunday.
18. And snow tires come standard on your car!
19. You'll learn that the Vikings are only mentioned in disgust. Even by Vikings fans.
20. You can eat a brat and pronounce it, too!
21. And you'll realize that Eau Claire is NOT something you eat.
22. You'll soon have no problem spelling Milwaukee and Minneapolis and can properly pronounce Oconomowoc and Sheboygan and Des Moines.
23. You'll find out what a bubbler is.
24. You'll be able to recognize Illinois and Minnesota and Missouri and Wisconsin and Iowan drivers not by their license plates but by the way they drive.
25. The first 4th of July picnic you celebrate in the Midwest will be moved indoors due to frost.
26. You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, Moscow, and Poland all in one afternoon.
27. You'll get to the point where you think that 0 degrees is just a little chilly.
28. You'll be able to use "ja, der hey" in a sentence.
29. You will get irritated at sports announcers or CNN when they pronounce Wisconsin, "Wes-con-sin," and Illinois, "Ell-ah-noy."
30. You'll be able to experience snow storms in April -- and blizzards in May!
31. You can go cow-tipping. Or at least learn what it means.
32. And you'll never miss school because even if there was a blizzard that morning and a -39(0) windchill, the buses can still go on the roads.
33. You can party at Summerfest, Festa Italiana, German Fest, Irish Fest, Oktoberfest, or all of the above.
34. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
35. You'll learn what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
36. There are no sharks in the Midwest.

[Iacobus]

Ø true, I felt like nhil. LOL!

[homeschoolmom]

:rotfl:

This is great. I love the midwest! Yeah for Eau Claire (I went to college there) and all the cool Wisconsin cities... including Oconomowoc

Just didn't see enough nice things about Minnesota...



Blasted Vikings...

[Colleen]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jun 27 2004, 11:15 PM'] :rotfl:

This is great. I love the midwest! Yeah for Eau Claire (I went to college there) and all the cool Wisconsin cities... including Oconomowoc

Just didn't see enough nice things about Minnesota...



Blasted Vikings... [/quote]
You must remember, this list is biased, because most of it was written by a Packers fan with a little help from a Bears fan.

[VeraMaria]

LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl:

jajaja this is hilarious



hmm....I'll think about it...

[Iacobus]

< BEARS FAN

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='Colleen' date='Jun 28 2004, 12:08 AM'] *Disclaimer*
This is just in Jest. But it's been in the works for so long, I'm posting it. It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's not meant to offend. Also, feel free to add to it.


A List
~Of Reasons Why Vera Maria Needs to Move to the Midwest

1. There are no alligators in the Midwest.
2. It snows here. Almost year-round!
3. No oceans. Just lakes, lakes, lakes, and one big, muddy, ol' river.
4. We have the BEST sports teams. While there are some in the division that are . . . shall we say, lacking, the Packers make up for it.
5. The Midwest saved the Union in the Civil War.
6. Wisconsin gave the nation the hamburger and the ice cream sundae. That by itself is a perfect reason to move here.
7. And Milwaukee gave the nation good beer.
8. And St. Louis did, too.
9. Chicago gave the nation its meat.
10. And Iowa gave us John Wayne!!
11. You'll meet several people who have hit deer more than once.
12. You will be able to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
13. You can use a down comforter in the summer.
14. You will be able to observe people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
15. Driving is easier in the Midwest than in Florida, because in the winter the potholes are filled with snow.
16. You'll be able to experience all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction, and deer hunting season.
17. You'll see whole families wearing green and gold or blue and orange or purple and gold to church on Sunday.
18. And snow tires come standard on your car!
19. You'll learn that the Vikings are only mentioned in disgust. Even by Vikings fans.
20. You can eat a brat and pronounce it, too!
21. And you'll realize that Eau Claire is NOT something you eat.
22. You'll soon have no problem spelling Milwaukee and Minneapolis and can properly pronounce Oconomowoc and Sheboygan and Des Moines.
23. You'll find out what a bubbler is.
24. You'll be able to recognize Illinois and Minnesota and Missouri and Wisconsin and Iowan drivers not by their license plates but by the way they drive.
25. The first 4th of July picnic you celebrate in the Midwest will be moved indoors due to frost.
26. You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, Moscow, and Poland all in one afternoon.
27. You'll get to the point where you think that 0 degrees is just a little chilly.
28. You'll be able to use "ja, der hey" in a sentence.
29. You will get irritated at sports announcers or CNN when they pronounce Wisconsin, "Wes-con-sin," and Illinois, "Ell-ah-noy."
30. You'll be able to experience snow storms in April -- and blizzards in May!
31. You can go cow-tipping. Or at least learn what it means.
32. And you'll never miss school because even if there was a blizzard that morning and a -39(0) windchill, the buses can still go on the roads.
33. You can party at Summerfest, Festa Italiana, German Fest, Irish Fest, Oktoberfest, or all of the above.
34. "Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
35. You'll learn what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
36. There are no sharks in the Midwest. [/quote]
1. True.
2. Only in the north! Nebraskan summers get quite hot, actually.
3. Let's go "Big Ole Muddy River!" Nebraska means "flat water" in Omahan.
4. And you can't forget that Husker fan base...most loyal phans in the world! Twenty years to get season tickets!
5. True.
6. Omaha gave the world the Reuben sandwich.
7. Nebraska gave the nation good steaks.
8. Iowa gave the world good corn...and Kansas gave the world good wheat...
9. Actually, Omaha had the world's largest stockyards. And we gave the nation it's beef.
10. Iowa is smelly.
11. True.
12. True
13. Not really.
14. Not really.
15. LOL. Except in Omaha, where the traffic is terrible.
16. Don't forget illegal poaching behind Micah's house season!
17. Or Red and White.
18. Not really.
19. Most Nebraskans are Packers, Broncos, or Chiefs fans.
20. True.
21. What?
22. Oconomowoc? Sheboygan and Des Moines I've got, but Oconomowoc?
23. "Water fountain, Colleen; it's called a 'water fountain'."
24. True.
25. Not even close.
26. LOL.
27. True, but only in winter.
28. No, not really.
30. True.
31. LOL. True.
32. Not quite true on the bus policy, but true on the weather.
33. True.
34. No...vacation means leaving the midwest.
35. Hmmm...no.
36. Except in Omaha's Henry Doorley Zoo.

[Colleen]

[quote name='VeraMaria' date='Jun 27 2004, 11:17 PM'] LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rotfl: :rotfl:

jajaja this is hilarious



hmm....I'll think about it... [/quote]
She's thinking about it! This was not all in vain!

[Iacobus]

You can come and go to sportscore and play soccer. LOL!

[homeschoolmom]

Okay... I have to tell about RussianGirl's first day with us... We picked her up at the college where she'd done her American orientation... as we are driving through St. Paul, we are trying to point out different things. We pointed out the Mississippi... and she meekly asked, "are there snakes and allegators in that river?" HSdad and I tried to stiffle our laughter. We assured her that there was probably nothing living in the river (certainly not snakes and allegators)... It's kind of a family joke now... every time we go near the river, "don't worry, we'll protect you from the snakes!!" "ha ha ha..."

PS to Pedro.... Don't worry PedroX... there really are no allegators in the River... We'll protect you... It's safe...

[MorphRC]

- Going West feels like your going home

[Birgitta Noel]

I'll add one! Ronald Regan was from the Mid-West, and went to college in Eureka, Il!

[azaelia]

Who says that's just the midwest? You should visit Maine sometime. Over 50% of that lsit is true here, especially the seasons part -_-

[cathgirl]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Jun 28 2004, 12:30 AM'] 1. True.
2. Only in the north! Nebraskan summers get quite hot, actually.
3. Let's go "Big Ole Muddy River!" Nebraska means "flat water" in Omahan.
4. And you can't forget that Husker fan base...most loyal phans in the world! Twenty years to get season tickets!
5. True.
6. Omaha gave the world the Reuben sandwich.
7. Nebraska gave the nation good steaks.
8. Iowa gave the world good corn...and Kansas gave the world good wheat...
9. Actually, Omaha had the world's largest stockyards. And we gave the nation it's beef.
10. Iowa is smelly.
11. True.
12. True
13. Not really.
14. Not really.
15. LOL. Except in Omaha, where the traffic is terrible.
16. Don't forget illegal poaching behind Micah's house season!
17. Or Red and White.
18. Not really.
19. Most Nebraskans are Packers, Broncos, or Chiefs fans.
20. True.
21. What?
22. Oconomowoc? Sheboygan and Des Moines I've got, but Oconomowoc?
23. "Water fountain, Colleen; it's called a 'water fountain'."
24. True.
25. Not even close.
26. LOL.
27. True, but only in winter.
28. No, not really.
30. True.
31. LOL. True.
32. Not quite true on the bus policy, but true on the weather.
33. True.
34. No...vacation means leaving the midwest.
35. Hmmm...no.
36. Except in Omaha's Henry Doorley Zoo. [/quote]
What is it with Raphael and insulting MY state? (It's not smelly! )
ANyway- If you move to Iowa you getta see COWS!!! I :wub: cows

I have a question, how many of you actually do know how to pronouce Des Moines?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote] What is it with Raphael and insulting MY state?  (It's not smelly! )
ANyway- If you move to Iowa you getta see COWS!!! I cows

I have a question, how many of you actually do know how to pronouce Des Moines?

[/quote]

I make fun of Iowa because it's easy. And because Omaha and Council Bluffs have an old rivalry.

You'll see cows in Iowa, but there are more, and higher meat-quality cows in Nebraska...just don't get too attached...

Oh, and I know how to pronounce Des Moines...Omaha's close enough that we hear it everyonce and a while in the context of "smelly" and "Dante's Inferno".


I've been to Adventureland!

[lil bull 04]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Jun 27 2004, 11:15 PM']

Just didn't see enough nice things about Minnesota...



Blasted Vikings... [/quote]
what do you call a minnesota Viking with a superbowl ring??????/













a theif :ph34r: :ph34r:

[lil bull 04]

[quote name='Colleen' date='Jun 27 2004, 11:08 PM'] 2. It snows here. Almost year-round!

12. You will be able to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

14. You will be able to observe people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

16. You'll be able to experience all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, construction, and deer hunting season.

19. You'll learn that the Vikings are only mentioned in disgust. Even by Vikings fans.

21. And you'll realize that Eau Claire is NOT something you eat.

23. You'll find out what a bubbler is.

24. You'll be able to recognize Illinois and Minnesota and Missouri and Wisconsin and Iowan drivers not by their license plates but by the way they drive.




[/quote]
2. I agree with

12. Yeah if you live in Michigan

14....like you wouldn't see that anywhere else...maybe in Alaska

16. is funny but true

19. As I said...what do you call a Viking with a superbowl ring?

a theif :ph34r:

21. Did you know that there is more than one Eau Claire and Wisconsin doesn't have the only one. Its also in Michigan.

23. Stupid Wisconsin people! its a drinking fountain. a bubbler is something that has to do with a fish tank!



24. how true! and you can also recognize Alaskans when they come to michigan because of the same thing.

[lil bull 04]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Jun 27 2004, 11:30 PM'] 1. True.
2. Only in the north! Nebraskan summers get quite hot, actually.
3. Let's go "Big Ole Muddy River!" Nebraska means "flat water" in Omahan.
4. And you can't forget that Husker fan base...most loyal phans in the world! Twenty years to get season tickets!
5. True.
6. Omaha gave the world the Reuben sandwich.
7. Nebraska gave the nation good steaks.
8. Iowa gave the world good corn...and Kansas gave the world good wheat...
9. Actually, Omaha had the world's largest stockyards. And we gave the nation it's beef.
10. Iowa is smelly.
11. True.
12. True
13. Not really.
14. Not really.
15. LOL. Except in Omaha, where the traffic is terrible.
16. Don't forget illegal poaching behind Micah's house season!
17. Or Red and White.
18. Not really.
19. Most Nebraskans are Packers, Broncos, or Chiefs fans.
20. True.
21. What?
22. Oconomowoc? Sheboygan and Des Moines I've got, but Oconomowoc?
23. "Water fountain, Colleen; it's called a 'water fountain'."
24. True.
25. Not even close.
26. LOL.
27. True, but only in winter.
28. No, not really.
30. True.
31. LOL. True.
32. Not quite true on the bus policy, but true on the weather.
33. True.
34. No...vacation means leaving the midwest.
35. Hmmm...no.
36. Except in Omaha's Henry Doorley Zoo. [/quote]
hahaha

[lil bull 04]

[quote name='cathgirl' date='Jun 28 2004, 11:10 AM'] What is it with Raphael and insulting MY state? (It's not smelly! )
ANyway- If you move to Iowa you getta see COWS!!! I :wub: cows

I have a question, how many of you actually do know how to pronouce Des Moines? [/quote]
because Iowa does stink!

[Maddalena]

[quote name='Colleen' date='Jun 27 2004, 11:08 PM']
33. You can party at Summerfest, Festa Italiana,

[/quote]
Festa Italiana?? I'm there!