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Transgender Man Here! Ask Me Anything! :)


CuriositasEtFidem

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Hey there! I've decided to open this can of worms and do an AMA. I'm also new here since CAF closed down (thank goodness), so, howdy!

Let me start by laying down some points:

-I am not mentally ill for being transgender

-I am a Roman Catholic, and intend to die a Roman Catholic when the Lord calls me

It'll be an interesting thread :)

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Welcome to phatmass. I help kill spam. 

Glad to see some refugees from CAF. I would visit there from time to time but as in real life, I prefer the friendliness of smaller groups. 

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10 hours ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

Hey there! I've decided to open this can of worms and do an AMA. I'm also new here since CAF closed down (thank goodness), so, howdy!

Let me start by laying down some points:

-I am not mentally ill for being transgender

-I am a Roman Catholic, and intend to die a Roman Catholic when the Lord calls me

It'll be an interesting thread :)

Do you like tacos?

Do NOT underestimate the importance of this question....

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1 hour ago, MIKolbe said:

Do you like tacos?

Do NOT underestimate the importance of this question....

Absolutely. I prefer soft over hard shells though, less mess.

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I agree.  Soft tacos are the best.  Did you parents take it okay with your being transgender and all?  If this sound like a person question, then I a fine without an answer.

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Phatmass is under attack, morally.  There is clearly no good way to dodge this, either.  Best to go out in a blaze of virtue, of honesty and truth.

You all have my prayers.  For those who remain faithful, I will look for you in the afterlife!  (Assuming I accept the graces necessary to make it there, myself)

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1 hour ago, MiscarriageSucks said:

How can I make sure to raise my daughter to know it is okay to be trans? 

The duties of parents

2221 The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. "The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute."29 The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable.30

2222 Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God's law. 

2223 Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery - the preconditions of all true freedom. Parents should teach their children to subordinate the "material and instinctual dimensions to interior and spiritual ones."31 Parents have a grave responsibility to give good example to their children. By knowing how to acknowledge their own failings to their children, parents will be better able to guide and correct them: 

He who loves his son will not spare the rod. . . . He who disciplines his son will profit by him.32

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.33

2224 The home is the natural environment for initiating a human being into solidarity and communal responsibilities. Parents should teach children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which threaten human societies.
 

JMJ

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2 hours ago, elizabeth09 said:

I agree.  Soft tacos are the best.  Did you parents take it okay with your being transgender and all?  If this sound like a person question, then I a fine without an answer.

you took the bait...

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17 hours ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

Hey there! I've decided to open this can of worms and do an AMA. I'm also new here since CAF closed down (thank goodness), so, howdy!

Let me start by laying down some points:

-I am not mentally ill for being transgender

-I am a Roman Catholic, and intend to die a Roman Catholic when the Lord calls me

It'll be an interesting thread :)

Hi. So you're a transman. For most transmen this means they are genetically female but they prefer to perform male gender roles/ stereotypes. Correct? Is that your situation? (Obviously there's a tiny portion of the population that don't have the typical sex binary chromosomes. But the rest of my post goes off the assumption that you're not in that category.)

For females who decide they wish to perform the male gender stereotypes, I guess I've always wondered what it's like to transition away from oppression? Although you still have to deal with all the negative consequences of being a female-bodied individual in our society (in terms of the lack of accommodation to our biological experiences)  your ability to "pass" as male-bodied no doubt accrues you privilege.  Or at least I assume so... what's that been like for you? Do you notice things are different passing for male? 

Secondly, I guess my question is, at one point did you decide to embrace the concept of gender as a true reality, as a compass point for your life? Tbh I've never doubted that gender is an imaginary construct, a shared dream (or rather nightmare) in our society which constructs little prisons for male and female bodied people to live in. But many transpeople seem driven, often to the point of self harm, by a thirst to perform gender. Did you ever consider the merits of living as a masculine female?  If yes why did that not satisfy? Was it in the end, too difficult to live at counterpoint with gender stereotypes? 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, MiscarriageSucks said:

It isn't sinful to be transgender. You're full of poo. :)

It's not. But it's probably better for you to start with teaching your daughter that girls can be and do anything. She can wear pantaloons, change her name to Kevin, be a mechanic, buzz her hair and still accept the way her female body was made. You can also teach her it's OK to be gay.  If she's on the autism spectrum you can get her proactive therapy to connect with her body as it was made. Doing these things will dramatically decrease the likelihood that your daughter will have a deep need to be accepted by society as a man performing trad male gender roles vs living as a woman doing whatever the hell she feels like. 

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3 hours ago, elizabeth09 said:

I agree.  Soft tacos are the best.  Did you parents take it okay with your being transgender and all?  If this sound like a person question, then I a fine without an answer.

Haha nope, they didn't take it well

49 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

Hi. So you're a transman. For most transmen this means they are genetically female but they prefer to perform male gender roles/ stereotypes. Correct? Is that your situation? (Obviously there's a tiny portion of the population that don't have the typical sex binary chromosomes. But the rest of my post goes off the assumption that you're not in that category.)

For females who decide they wish to perform the male gender stereotypes, I guess I've always wondered what it's like to transition away from oppression? Although you still have to deal with all the negative consequences of being a female-bodied individual in our society (in terms of the lack of accommodation to our biological experiences)  your ability to "pass" as male-bodied no doubt accrues you privilege.  Or at least I assume so... what's that been like for you? Do you notice things are different passing for male? 

Secondly, I guess my question is, at one point did you decide to embrace the concept of gender as a true reality, as a compass point for your life? Tbh I've never doubted that gender is an imaginary construct, a shared dream (or rather nightmare) in our society which constructs little prisons for male and female bodied people to live in. But many transpeople seem driven, often to the point of self harm, by a thirst to perform gender. Did you ever consider the merits of living as a masculine female?  If yes why did that not satisfy? Was it in the end, too difficult to live at counterpoint with gender stereotypes? 

 

 

 

It's not. But it's probably better for you to start with teaching your daughter that girls can be and do anything. She can wear pantaloons, change her name to Kevin, be a mechanic, buzz her hair and still accept the way her female body was made. You can also teach her it's OK to be gay.  If she's on the autism spectrum you can get her proactive therapy to connect with her body as it was made. Doing these things will dramatically decrease the likelihood that your daughter will have a deep need to be accepted by society as a man performing trad male gender roles vs living as a woman doing whatever the hell she feels like. 

Alright, so

1) For most transmen this means they are genetically female but they prefer to perform male gender roles/ stereotypes. Correct? Is that your situation?

That's correct

2) what's [the transition] been like for you? Do you notice things are different passing for male? 

Well, I'm still pretty early in my transition, to be honest, but I have more confidence. I feel like I'm not being talked down to as much. I don't get catcalled (a sad and unjust reality for many women) either, so that's definitely a plus.

3) I guess my question is, at one point did you decide to embrace the concept of gender as a true reality, as a compass point for your life?

I always knew I was somehow different from other girls as a kid, and when I discovered the transgender community, something clicked and I was like, "oh, that's me." I do think it's somewhat odd that some trans people assert that gender is a social construct, yet fight to uphold it. I don't really care either way. All I know is that I'm a man, and if I'm perceived as such, I'm happy.

4) Did you ever consider the merits of living as a masculine female?  If yes why did that not satisfy? Was it in the end, too difficult to live at counterpoint with gender stereotypes? 

I did, and grew up quite the tomboy. It's not that it was too difficult to live outside of feminine gender stereotypes, it was that living as a woman, I felt like I was faking something, like I was wearing a skin that didn't fit, and was extremely uncomfortable. 

And to respond to your last paragraph, I agree with you, girls can do anything and still be happy as girls. Same goes for boys/men. I, and other trans people, just happen to not be happy as our assigned genders.

 

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2 hours ago, MiscarriageSucks said:

How can I make sure to raise my daughter to know it is okay to be trans? 

Going from personal experience, what would have let me know it was okay would have been talking about trans people with respect, not misgendering them, having a basic understanding of what it means to be transgender/the trans experience, and to not condemn or punish your daughter if she comes to you with thoughts about her gender identity. As a parent, you're her guide, and the best way to guide children is to do it gently and with compassion and acceptance. Trust me, your kid will be more trusting in you if you don't blow up at her for stuff (I'm not saying that you necessarily "blow up" at her, I'm just speaking from experience)

1 hour ago, chrysostom said:

you took the bait...

Ah, whoops lol

2 hours ago, fides' Jack said:

Phatmass is under attack, morally.  There is clearly no good way to dodge this, either.  Best to go out in a blaze of virtue, of honesty and truth.

You all have my prayers.  For those who remain faithful, I will look for you in the afterlife!  (Assuming I accept the graces necessary to make it there, myself)

It may be my misunderstanding (an often occurrence [darn you, darkened intellect!]), but I hope I'm not part of that moral attack. Thank you for your prayers, and I'll return the favor :) 

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