Transgender Man Here! Ask Me Anything! :)

[Ash Wednesday]

32 minutes ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

Yes, they're "traditional" in that respect. She/her pronouns are grating on my ears, even if I'm a "tough, strong, masculine woman." If I were in the middle of nowhere with not a person within a ten-mile radius, I would still be transgender. Respectfully, I don't think it's performative, but I find your perspective interesting.

Unfortunately I'm in a difficult situation now---I won't get into specifics---where I can't have a regular confessor. I consider myself a traditional Catholic (wild, right?) and adore the Latin Mass. Sadly, I'm only able to go to a Novus Ordo parish for Sunday Mass every week

Understandable. I prefer the traditional liturgies myself. 

Were you born/raised Catholic? What has your family life and relationships with them been like? 

I feel pretty nosy honestly it's only to get full context and understanding of your situation.  


 

[Luigi]

If a plane leaves New York at 10 p.m., traveling west at 545 mph, and another plane leaves Los Angeles at 1 a.m. traveling north by northeast at 600 mph, what are the odds they will crash over Omaha before daylight?

[CuriositasEtFidem]

Just now, Ash Wednesday said:

Understandable. I prefer the traditional liturgies myself. 

Were you born/raised Catholic? What has your family life and relationships with them been like? 

I feel pretty nosy honestly it's only to get full context and understanding of your situation.  


 

Nah I don't mind at all, this is an AMA lol. Yes, I was born and raised Catholic. As for my family life, it's been somewhat dysfunctional, but we tolerate each other at the end of the day. 

[Lilllabettt]

Just now, little2add said:

What if the child is prepubescent, is it fair or prudent to entertain the whimsical mind of a (trans)child and alter his or her body or hormones.

Didn’t  Johns Hopkins Hospital (who pioneered transgender surgery) discontinue the practice because of the high rate of suicide soon after the patients reached puberty?

see: Transgender is ‘Mental Disorder;' Sex Change ‘Biologically Impossible’

https://www.cnsnews.com/article/national/michael-w-chapman/johns-hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex

 

I mean, I'm not a doctor. But it seems we have good research that shows the vast majority of gender questioning children and adolescents grow out of it. Personally I think it's irresponsible and unethical.  Most of these children have simply internalized toxic messages about manhood and womanhood and doubts about their ability to correspond to womanhood and manhood.

There's not a ton of research on whether body modification in general prevents suicide. If it does, it could possibly be deemed acceptable or "tolerated" as an intervention for pathology. I mean, I have my opinion. But the Church hasn't formally committed one way or the other, for good reasons. The Church seems to recognize a pathological factor in trans identity in that it forbids transpeople from serving as either godfather or godmother. 

11 minutes ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

It's funny that you mention that, actually. I have ADD, and my brother has Asperger's and ADHD, we suspect my dad has Asperger's as well, so I wouldn't be totally surprised if I were to be somewhere on the spectrum too

I ask because it is very, very common to have the type of dissassociation you describe comorbid with autism. 

I fully support your freedom to live how you like free from abuse and violence and harassment. But, my hunch would be you are suffering from an untreated developmental disorder such as autism or similar to. It's impacting your nervous system and giving you the sensation of dissassociation, which you interpret as having a transgender identity. Very, very common. 

Something you may want to explore especially before making any permanent changes. 

[Guest]

31 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

But, things aren't as cut and dried with our religion as many assume

Well said.

Butting in again with my two cents worth:

As an example, many Catholics do think of grave matter as mortal sin; however, grave matter does require two other conditions before it becomes mortally sinful (i.e. full knowledge and full consent).

Quote

 

Catholic Catechism:

https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a8.htm1860 Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man. The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders. Sin committed through malice, by deliberate choice of evil, is the gravest.

 

I think that as Catholics we have become generally speaking extremely moralistic, taking life and the journey completely out of the context of The Loving Mercy of God.  Possibly too, even failing in love of our neighbour.  Another moral point is that life and the journey can present us with a choice between two evils rather than a good or an evil choice.  We would be called to choose the lesser evil.

I think too that a spirituality can come across as harsh and abrasive, rather than reflecting the Love and the Mercy of God, His Infinite Compassion and His Infinite Understanding.  The Good Lord desires ardently the salvation of every single human being, past present and to come.  Nothing shouts this louder than the Incarnation and the life and death of Jesus.  Through Him we are called and activated into a new incarnation ourselves and a journey through with and in Him.  Not through with and in 'the big law book'.  As St Paul has told us and to paraphrase him, all the law can do for us is underscore we are all sinners.  We differ only perhaps in degree and kind.  And what makes my sin less serious than that of my neighbour?  Indeed, my sin may be far more grievous than any at all of my neighbour - due to Graces I have been gifted.

I think we can take our spirituality relating to moral matters especially out of the context of a personal relationship to God and to neighbour.  We (or I perhaps) want to do good and avoid evil and so get across the magic line in to Heaven.  To, as it were, bind up God's Hands so He has an obligation to grant me/us Heaven.   It rather reminds me of a line from Jesus Christ Superstar i.e. "too much Heaven on their minds".

To do good and avoid evil, is of course, commendable.  Insofar as it does not stunt our spiritual growth and keep us at that stage, never developing into relationship.  This is where sound spiritual direction and advice can be a spiritual treasure, a rich spiritual treasure.

[chrysostom]

57 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

That's fine, but this isn't the Church's teaching. The Church hasn't commented on sex reassignment and there are important reasons for that. I know of another case where a woman identified as an amputee and hunted around for a surgeon to remove her perfectly healthy leg. Most surgeons consider this type of thing unethical. I do as well. But, things aren't as cut and dried with our religion as many assume. 

Could you clarify what assertion isn't church teaching?

[Ash Wednesday]

30 minutes ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

Nah I don't mind at all, this is an AMA lol. Yes, I was born and raised Catholic. As for my family life, it's been somewhat dysfunctional, but we tolerate each other at the end of the day. 

I suppose my curiosity is related to the family experience for many Catholics that favor traditionalism -- we tend to be at odds with our families in this regard. I'm usually the butt of everyone's jokes and I ended up being the most traditional minded Catholic in my family, i.e. the only one who would want to attend the Latin Mass, etc. Is your family pretty traditional, were your parents more traditional or more of a mixed bag?

[CuriositasEtFidem]

1 minute ago, Ash Wednesday said:

I suppose my curiosity is related to the family experience for many Catholics that favor traditionalism -- we tend to be at odds with our families in this regard. I'm usually the butt of everyone's jokes and I ended up being the most traditional minded Catholic in my family, i.e. the only one who would want to attend the Latin Mass, etc. Is your family pretty traditional, were your parents more traditional or more of a mixed bag?

My father is traditional, so that's where I got it from. My mother is an Episcopalian, and my brother is a Deist.

Oh, not to pull out the "ohhhh poor me *sob*" card, but I'd like to bring up transgender religious pain. I don't have a lot of energy right now (wooo, depression), so I'll drop an art piece I made a while back here

I do have more "trans art" if anyone would like to see it (not so subtle plug for my artwork lol)

[Ash Wednesday]

9 minutes ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

My father is traditional, so that's where I got it from. My mother is an Episcopalian, and my brother is a Deist.

Oh, not to pull out the "ohhhh poor me *sob*" card, but I'd like to bring up transgender religious pain. I don't have a lot of energy right now (wooo, depression), so I'll drop an art piece I made a while back here

I do have more "trans art" if anyone would like to see it (not so subtle plug for my artwork lol)

I'm an artist as well. Commercial illustration on the side and flipper of design burgers by day. (I'm actually up past 2:30 am here doing a drawing of the Supremes...)

What particular Catholic spiritual devotions do you find helpful? Do you pray the rosary? 

[CuriositasEtFidem]

3 minutes ago, Ash Wednesday said:

I'm an artist as well. Commercial illustration on the side and flipper of design burgers by day. (I'm actually up past 2:30 am here doing a drawing of the Supremes...)

What particular Catholic spiritual devotions do you find helpful? Do you pray the rosary? 

Oh my, get some sleep soon! 

As for devotions, I love the Brown Scapular and the Divine Mercy Image and Chaplet. I'm also fond of Our Lady and the Infant Jesus. I really ought to pray the Rosary more often though

[little2add]

1 hour ago, Luigi said:

If a plane leaves New York at 10 p.m., traveling west at 545 mph, and another plane leaves Los Angeles at 1 a.m. traveling north by northeast at 600 mph, what are the odds they will crash over Omaha before daylight?

Exactly

[Lilllabettt]

29 minutes ago, chrysostom said:

Could you clarify what assertion isn't church teaching?

"What the surgeon does in these circumstance is permanent mutilation to allow someone to tell a lie with their own body."

The Church teaches against mutilation.  If trans surgery is mutilation it would definitely be forbidden to Catholics. However the Church has very carefully kept Her silence on the topic despite it being very hot button.  When the trans issue is brought up she typically sidesteps or if she does comment it is very narrowly, carefully, and with precisely chosen language.  It's complex, there are a lot of problems and issues and angles. The Church doesn't teach that sex reassignment surgery is mutilation per se. You won't find that teaching in any document. It doesn't exist. You can have your opinion (I can't believe I'm "defending" trans stuff on here but oh well) but it's not what the Church teaches as of yet. 

 

 

[chrysostom]

I don't see it as the Church waiting around on anything. The teaching is that mutilation is wrong; carving up healthy reproductive organs (for example) is mutilation; therefore carving up reproductive organs is wrong.

I'm can't believe I'm defending "carving up healthy reproductive organs is mutilation" - but there you go!

I'm fine with the Church taking its time. It should! Personally I don't anticipate it releasing a statement on it anytime soon, or ever...

Let me clarify.

"Carving up healthy reproductive organs is mutilation" is something I not only doubt the Church will make a statement on officially but also something I don't think it ought to have to.

That said, there are many other facets of things like trans identity which will probably get talked about at some point. But to me the mutilation is pretty cut and dried.

Oh, phatmass combined my replies and now it looks odd. Whatever...

Edited February 10, 2021 by chrysostom

[SicutColumba]

4 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

The Church teaches against mutilation.  If trans surgery is mutilation it would definitely be forbidden to Catholics. However the Church has very carefully kept Her silence on the topic despite it being very hot button.  When the trans issue is brought up she typically sidesteps or if she does comment it is very narrowly, carefully, and with precisely chosen language.  It's complex, there are a lot of problems and issues and angles. The Church doesn't teach that sex reassignment surgery is mutilation per se. You won't find that teaching in any document. It doesn't exist. You can have your opinion (I can't believe I'm "defending" trans stuff on here but oh well) but it's not what the Church teaches as of yet. 

It seems as on this thread we have several faithful Catholics with different views on transgender issues and I personally couldn’t say whether anyone is wrong. I tend to agree with @Lilllabettt’s theory of performance. I do think that the wide acceptance of transgenderism (I don’t think this is a great word and I would be happy to find an alternative) reinforces misogyny to a truly devastating point, turns the Church’s concept of sex completely on its head, and harms those rare few suffering from dysphoria. It’s such a hot issue and people are so riled up about this, and maybe that’s why the Church has said nothing, but why, honestly, has the Church said next to nothing on this subject? Sometimes I feel there is a lack of guidance and true leadership on this issue that is probably turning a lot of Catholics on the lukewarm side away from the Church. I believe She would fall down pretty hard in the camp of saying that transition is wrong, but there is a lot of nuance surrounding « gender roles ». I get that we still don’t know a whole lot about being transgender but I just don’t understand why the Church has said next to nothing on this hugely consequential topic. 

[little2add]

6 hours ago, SicutColumba said:

». I get that we still don’t know a whole lot about being transgender but I just don’t understand why the Church has said next to nothing on this hugely consequential topic. 

 IDK.    Church doctrine is very clear on this matter, whether or not some of the faithful choose to except it, is the true crux of the matter.  
they are many ills that the faithful choose to ignore that are clearly diametrically opposed to church teachings, such as: abortion, pro-Choice, premarital sex, marriage and divorce, just to name a few...

Sad

 

Edited February 10, 2021 by little2add

[CuriositasEtFidem]

6 hours ago, SicutColumba said:

It seems as on this thread we have several faithful Catholics with different views on transgender issues and I personally couldn’t say whether anyone is wrong. I tend to agree with @Lilllabettt’s theory of performance. I do think that the wide acceptance of transgenderism (I don’t think this is a great word and I would be happy to find an alternative) reinforces misogyny to a truly devastating point, turns the Church’s concept of sex completely on its head, and harms those rare few suffering from dysphoria. It’s such a hot issue and people are so riled up about this, and maybe that’s why the Church has said nothing, but why, honestly, has the Church said next to nothing on this subject? Sometimes I feel there is a lack of guidance and true leadership on this issue that is probably turning a lot of Catholics on the lukewarm side away from the Church. I believe She would fall down pretty hard in the camp of saying that transition is wrong, but there is a lot of nuance surrounding « gender roles ». I get that we still don’t know a whole lot about being transgender but I just don’t understand why the Church has said next to nothing on this hugely consequential topic. 

Good morning from the East Coast! Let's get see what the dumpster fire has in store for us today. There's nothing wrong with being a women. I think women are great. It just ain't me. The fact of the matter, no matter how much "gender theory" is brought up (some of which even I find hard to wrap my head around), is that I am much happier living as a man. 

On a lighter and unrelated note, here's my dysphoria playlist if anyone's interested in taking a listen:

(Oh, I should add, the first two tracks contain swear words, so, uh, listener discretion is advised) Good jams for sad times. They always help lift my spirits when I'm in a nasty dysphoria funk

[Jaime]

37 minutes ago, little2add said:

 IDK.    Church doctrine is very clear on this matter, whether or not some of the faithful choose to except it, is the true crux of the matter.  
they are many ills that the faithful choose to ignore that are clearly diametrically opposed to church teachings, such as: abortion, pro-Choice, premarital sex, marriage and divorce, just to name a few...

Sad

 

Can you tell me what you’re referring to?  Which church doctrine is clear and on what matter?

[Lea]

What do you consider your vocation so far? Does any of the things you discerned interfere with being a trans man? 

[CuriositasEtFidem]

53 minutes ago, Lea said:

What do you consider your vocation so far? Does any of the things you discerned interfere with being a trans man? 

I'd consider it to be the single life. Nothing really interferes with that.

[SicutColumba]

2 hours ago, CuriositasEtFidem said:

There's nothing wrong with being a women. I think women are great. It just ain't me.

The misogyny to which I’m referring is less apparent in the transition of an FTM individual, although I would imagine that a transgender man has experienced a devastating amount of internalized misogyny.  In the case of a MTF transition, what’s implied is that womanhood is nothing more that a skirt, or lipstick, or long haïr, or even sexual organs for those who have had reassignment surgery. A breast augmentation or even makeup is thought to somehow ontologically impart womanhood to a man, just as many people seem to think that birth is supposed to make a fetus a person. It is  simply performative, superficial, and always in regard to the male gaze. (I am appropriating this term because I think it is very pertinent here.) This flies in the face of the Church’s conception of womanhood, which tells us that the objectively highest thing that a woman can do is precisely to reject these stereotypes and even the ability to bear children and consecrate herself to God. 

Having said that, I would just like to know if your fellow parishioners respect your pronouns and the name that you’ve presumably chosen. 

Edited February 10, 2021 by SicutColumba